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25th September 2008, 11:19 PM
#7
Elite Trainer
Re: Lisa the Legend - Chapter 64 up!
I always had a bad feeling about Lance. The guy knew too much; he was the only source of "truth". Not to mention that he'd have way too much power if the Guard succeeded in obtaining all the keys before the Union did. Still, I'm dubious that he's evil altogether; I think he might be the ruthless type who does what he sees is best for the greater good, without caring too much about who gets hurt in the process. It seems that Lance's relationship with his dad will be significant in his relationship with Darius, especially with the "World's Best Dad" cup connection. Obviously his dad still exerts a lot of influence -- given their relationship back in 1977, I have to wonder why. Is he directly exerting the pressure, or does Lance feel obliged live up to his standards? Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if we've met Lance's dad before...
Yeah, great characterisation, as Brian said. The caffeine addiction amuses me. The argument with Jim Donovan flowed well as well. I also like the detail at the beginning about the men with briefcases darting as though they are afraid of the sun. It'll be interesting how Lance explains all of this to Darius; the whole thing will have a different dynamic, because Darius isn't likely to bow to his father's superiority. (Even if we don't get to see the conversation in the actual fic.)
Liked it, keep writing, etc. etc.
mistysakura
2007 Golden Pens: Co-winner of Best Poem (Rain Eternal) and Best Reviewer
2007 Silver Pencils: Winner of Best Poem (Death Sonnet -- Untitled)
2004 Silver Pencils: Winner of Nicest Fanficcer & Least Likely Couple (with PancaKe)
Former 3-time winner of Most Dedicated Reader at the Fanfiction Forums
Also Keeper of the 'A'ctivator Unown
Brimstone Diamonds. The Artist. Tightrope. Solitude. Autopsy.
Glitter (one-shot).
Listen to
Rain Eternal -- a song.
Random thought: 2+2=5.
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