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18th April 2008, 08:06 AM
#9
Elite Trainer
Re: Lisa the Legend - Chapter 63 now up!!!
Hehe, I'm impressed with the pace of updates! Eh, I never said I liked the new style. I do, but I kinda miss the old style. Ah well, whatever makes you happy. The military's with the Union? Ouch. I had an inkling something like that may happen... who can you trust any more? The reminder of who "Hispanic guy" is fitted in nicely, and the twist of Gavin only teleporting himself away was executed well (I knew something would go wrong but I didn't know what). I also like Christina's snap summary of what happened when Lisa's parents came. The battle scenes were great as usual; I especially like the bit occurring before and in the stairwell. Overall, the pace of this chapter felt dodgy though. Too often, distractions like comments on Fiskmire water would appear. The battlefield is not a good place to discuss Buzzballs, people? Because you've done such a good job in convincing us that danger is behind every corner, the digressions are really out of place. At least it could have been mentioned that Lisa scoured the area and the coast was clear for the moment or something. I also didn't like the chapter ending because it was way too reminiscent of the last chapter's. It felt as if absolutely nothing was accomplished with this chapter.
Nice chapter, good job, insert sandwich bread here etc. Seriously though, looking forward to the next one.
mistysakura
2007 Golden Pens: Co-winner of Best Poem (Rain Eternal) and Best Reviewer
2007 Silver Pencils: Winner of Best Poem (Death Sonnet -- Untitled)
2004 Silver Pencils: Winner of Nicest Fanficcer & Least Likely Couple (with PancaKe)
Former 3-time winner of Most Dedicated Reader at the Fanfiction Forums
Also Keeper of the 'A'ctivator Unown
Brimstone Diamonds. The Artist. Tightrope. Solitude. Autopsy.
Glitter (one-shot).
Listen to
Rain Eternal -- a song.
Random thought: 2+2=5.
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