Lisa the Legend: Chapter 82 - Last Night on Earth now up! (24th June 2013)

[Sike Saner]

DAMN. O___O Things sure have taken a very exciting turn in this story. Those last two chapters were intense--great action in both of them, and each had a shocking surprise of that very special sort that I like to call "Holy Shit! Moments", or HSMs.

Another great surprise was when Gavin teleported but Lisa didn't get taken along with him as she was supposed to have been. I can't help but wonder if he might not have ended up inadvertently leaving her behind like that had he not had to hurry up in the "recharging" of his energy... o.o

Once again, character thoughts, emotions, and reactions were handled well. Lisa's reaction to seeing Emma's corpse is a prime example of this. Speaking of reactions to that, another thing that I thought was done well was the way that those who saw the body didn't all react in an identical way--I thought that was very realistic.

And there was even some great humor in those chapters, with the part where Gavin forgot that he could teleport being my personal favorite funny moment.

Highlights:

“Oh, before you go,” he added, a hand on the silver doorknob, “I meant to ask – do you still have my camera?”

Lisa racked her brains for a moment. “No. Did I ever have your camera?”

Gavin shrugged. “I think I chucked it in your backpack when we were on Mount Fairfax.”

“We were being shot at, and you thought to protect your camera,” she replied with a grudging smile. Sometimes Gavin was so illogical it was amusing.

Amusing indeed. ^^ That part got a smile and a laugh out of me.

The number ‘3’ lit up with a soft yellow glow; a cool voice said, “Level Three” and the silver doors slid open crisply.

And there, sprawled on the carpeted floor of the elevator, was Emma’s body.

That was HSM #1. My reaction upon reading initially reading it: --What?! O___O Yeah, that was definitely not something I was expecting to be on the other side of those elevator doors...

Lisa wasn’t sure if she screamed or not; certainly, she tried, but she could not tell if any sound came from her throat. Her ears had suddenly filled with an otherworldly static, her temples tingling from the volume of blood that had rushed to her head at the grotesque sight before her.

Excellent description of her reaction to what she'd just seen. ^^

The silver doors slid shut with an efficient whirr. Lisa stared at them silently, at her reflection: the pallid mask of horror on her face, her hands contorting, clutching at thin air, the camera slung casually over her red jumper. Her brain reeled; her stomach churned; she knew she was going to throw up. Then the cool patient voice repeated itself patiently, “Level Three” and the silver doors slid open once more, and there was the corpse, still horrendous, still dead, still covered in blood.

This time she knew she screamed.

Everything happened at once. Suddenly, someone was holding her from behind. She didn’t even think to fight them; her stomach lurched and she doubled over, retching horribly.

And there's some more great description of what she's feeling. ^^

There was a collective squeal from the other patients; a second later, Gavin gave a grunt of triumph as he flung the window open.

“Go, Skarmory!” he cried, hurling a pokéball at his feet. A burst of radiant light revealed the sleek, metallic form of the steel-winged pokémon.

“Slash the security screen!” Gavin ordered fervently. “Everyone else, stand back!”

The five adults backed away from the window. Lisa let her mouth fall open as Skarmory raised a gleaming scythe and, in two deft strokes, reduced the security screen to shreds of metal frame and wire.

“Gavin, THAT’S your plan?!” screeched Lisa, losing her cool completely; she had just seen Natu fluttering about the ceiling in distress.

“You got a better one?”

“FOR GOD’S SAKE, YES, YOU CAN TELEPORT!”

Gavin let his eyes roll back in his head in bitter realisation. “Fuck – I forgot.”

XDDDD Again, that was glorious.

“LISA, GAVIN – OPEN THE DOOR!”

“GO TO HELL!” screamed Lisa, backing away from the door and aligning herself with the patients.

“LISA – IT’S DAD – QUICK, WE HAVE TO GET YOU OUT OF HERE!”

“THAT’S NOTHING LIKE MY DAD’S VOICE, YOU ARSEHOLE!”

XP I'm glad Lisa didn't fall for that.

“Okay, Natu, you take the fat guy!”

“EXCUSE ME!”

XD Another moment that made me laugh.

Lisa’s body surged with something hard, something beyond pain; her nerves had become strands of barbed wire, spiking her flesh from within. It was agony; it was hell: she was in darkness, languishing in her own mind … there could be no level of pain past this …

Damn, that does sound seriously agonizing. o_o

Lisa closed her eyes once more, readying herself for the queasy whirlwind of teleportation. She gripped Gavin’s right hand tighter, tighter, until, suddenly, her hand closed on nothing but thin air.

“Gavin – what the -?”

Her eyes flew open in fear. There was nobody standing beside her. She was stranded, still, in the hospital room.

“NO!” She couldn’t stop herself: how could this have happened – how could she be left behind?

Again, that was a great surprise. ^^

With a curt nod to Lisa and a sharp call to Ally to follow, Christina trudged heavily down the first flight of stairs, taking care to step hard on the unconscious Union agent’s back.

XD Awesome.

“It sounds silent out there, Lisa,” she said confidently. “I’m going to go out and scope things out. When and if – AND ONLY IF – I give you the all-clear, you follow me closely, alright?”

“Okay, Christina,” replied Lisa, grasping the Buzzball and retreating a few steps.

Christina winked boldly at her before apparently steeling herself, and pushing the door wide open.

Lisa saw it happen: the flash of metal, the explosion of blue light. The burst of razor leaves scorched by a roar of vermilion flames. Christina’s scream.

And that was HSM #2. Like the finding-Emma-in-the-elevator moment, this took me by surprise in a major way.


The latest chapters were seriously awesome. ^^ I'm definitely looking forward to seeing what happens next.