You're going to have to realize that this isn't something that's just going to happen overnight. You have to be patient with it, cultivate it. Nurture it like that bean plant you planted in grade three, only this time don't forget to water it and don't put it somewhere your cat can eat it. Consider it a responsibility you have to cultivate through love, water, and sunshine, and concentrate on the day to day operations involved. Don't get caught up dreaming about becoming a "bean" farmer, or spend all your time dreaming about how good your "beans" will taste in a salad, with a little oil and vinegar. This is the real world, and "bean" growing isn't something you're going to be really good at right away. Buy a book about "beans" first, read it, and learn what you're getting into.