[GAME] Twisted Wishes v.9 (LV Approved)

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but now you'll have to type every Facebook update with your toes.

I wish to own Sonic the Hedgehog's Power Sneakers.

[Fett One]

Granted but they are too small for your feet and won't grant you any of Sonic's powers.

I wish for a Robocop/Terminator crossover movie.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted. The movie will tell a story about the Governor of California becoming a cleaning robot.

I wish for success in the sports event I'm going to participate on Saturday.

[Fett One]

Granted, it's the most successful event you ever go to in your life.

I wish cell phones had better battery life.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. A bunch of cell phones with longer battery life come out, but in order to recharge the battery, they end up requiring a full 24 hours to fully charge the battery.

I wish that some of the world's worst terrorists would learn what it's like to be hit by a category 5 hurricane.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but that means they survive the hurricane.

I wish Kenneth "Kenny" McCormick to make a cameo appearance in a future episode of Pokemon anime.

[Fett One]

Granted but his death in the episode causes parents to complain and the episode gets banned forever after only airing once in Japan.


I wish a superhero movie shows the hero stopping a single crime by using fruit pies.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. The movie stars Krusty the Clown from The Simpsons, who ends up having the alter-ego of Krustyman in the movie; even though he is equipped with unlimited fruit pies, they don't help him at all when he is killed in the very end of the movie by Sideshow Bob and Snake who both decide to work together after getting tired of his antics.

I wish my stamina would drain more slowly when doing difficult physical work.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but now you won't have any stamina at all when doing mental job.

I wish TPMers were superheroes.

[Fett One]

Granted, but everyone else in the world becomes super villains, giving us a never ending battle of good versus evil

I wish Futurama would be brought back for another season.

[Knight of Time]

Granted, but it ends up being the final season. Not only that, it never ends up on DVD or Blu-Ray, either.

I wish houses were immune to natural disasters (e.g. fires, flooding, hurricanes, etc.).

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but those houses will be extra fragile when touched by human beings, making them impossible to live in.

I wish to live in the forest moon of Endor.

[Fett One]

Granted, but you are always on the run because the Ewoks mistake you for food and are constantly hunting you.

I wish Seinfeld would come back for a reunion special.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. Jerry Seinfeld makes an unexpected visit to your city and puts on a comedy show, asking who the funny man is that wanted a Seinfeld reunion special (sorry Fett One, I couldn't resist twisting your wish and mentioning a comedian).

I wish it was possible to bring a good cartoon character to life without bringing his/her archenemy to life.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted but with no enemies, the characters have nothing to do so they start fighting each other and they aren't good anymore.

I wish there weren't so many lonely people in the world.

[Fett One]

Granted, now everyone has more people to talk to then they know what to do with, causing people to go nuts because they never have any time to be alone with their thoughts.

I wish life was more fair.

[Knight of Time]

Granted, but as a result misfortune becomes more common for everyone.

I wish I could meet more houseguests from the Big Brother franchise (just for the record, I met three of the Big Brother Canada houseguests last Friday night).

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, you meet the main characters of George Orwell's book '1984'.

I wish I was able to finally twist the wish about Fantastic Four and Final Fantasy crossover that Fett One posted earlier.

[Fett One]

Granted, but you make a mistake and cause the wish to occur exactly how I want it to occur.

I wish Star Trek Discovery ends up being a huge success.

[Knight of Time]

Granted, but it's only successful for a day, before other TV shows outclass it and eventually force its creator to stop airing it.

I wish the majority of the Candy Crush Saga games (and their cousins made by the same company) had unlimited lives permanently for each player so that nobody would have to worry about running out of lives and waiting for more to come.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but that causes people to become careless because they think they are immortal.

I wish my beard didn't grow so fast.

[Fett One]

Knight of Time, I really wish your wish could become a reality without it becoming twisted.

Granted, your beard grows at a slower rate but now your toe nails and finger nails grow 5x faster.

I wish comic books would go back to costing only 10 cents an issue.

[Knight of Time]

Granted, but they end up all being sold by Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons, who promptly puts a tax on each comic, making them 10 cents an issue plus 1,000,000 dollars tax.

I wish the original cartoon versions of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe and She-Ra: Princess of Power premiered in the same year instead of 1983 and 1985 respectively, so that She-Ra could have appeared in some He-Man episodes (being as He-Man appeared in some She-Ra episodes including the first five; this is the basis of why I made this wish).

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but as it's me who grants this wish, in those episodes, He-Man will act ridiculously and utter a certain Finnish phrase. When he is supposed to raise The Sword of Power and shout, like he did in our dub

MINULLA ON VOIMAA!
I HAVE POWER!

he will raise an old woman, shouting

MINULLA ON VAIMO!
I HAVE A WIFE!

and regardless of the language of the rest of the episode, he always shouts that in Finnish.

I wish I couldn't get lost when I'm in a forest.

[Fett One]

Granted but you get lost everywhere else you go.

I wish everyday felt like Christmas.

[Knight of Time]

Granted, every day of the rest of your life Santa Claus comes to give you a present, but when you go to open each present, you find only coal inside.

I wish I had the option of going with a good friend to tonight's pre-season NHL game that I'm attending (which if anyone is curious, is New Jersey vs. Ottawa).

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted. You'll be able to go there with me. Too bad I'm so eager to meet you for the first time in my life that I'm trying to small talk with you endlessly throughout the entire game so your experience and concentration will be ruined completely.

I wish people weren't so excited about distracting conspiracy theories.

[Fett One]

Granted, instead people get extremely excited about setting things on fire.

I wish Penn & Teller would team up with David Copperfield to perform a magic show.

[Knight of Time]

Granted, but all their magic tricks end up backfiring, killing them and disappointing the crowd attending the show.

I wish TPM had an option for people here to enter their Discord information in their profile (if they use Discord, that is).

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but all the other information about them disappears.

I wish I could talk with animals.

[Fett One]

Granted but now you can't talk to humans

I wish the Smurfs were less annoying to adults.

[Knight of Time]

Granted, but as a result, they become even more annoying to Scruple (Gargamel's assistant), who captures them all and brings them to Gargamel, allowing him to finally eat some Smurfs and turn others into gold (aka no Smurfs escaped this time, sorry!).

I wish Cosmo and Wanda from The Fairly OddParents were able to twist the next poster's wish (sorry Mikachu and Fett One; I couldn't resist making a reference to Timmy Turner here, aka the boy who made many wishes to his two fairy companions).

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, now I'm compelled to make a wish with that limitation.

I wish The Fairly OddParents granted this wish.

[Fett One]

Granted but they screw up and grant someone else wish instead.

I wish the new South Park game becomes a huge success.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, it becomes so popular that it overthrows all the other game franchises and companies like Nintendo, Square Enix, Namco Bandai, Sega, Capcom, Hudson Soft and Konami go bankrupt, causing massive depression.

I wish I could defend myself by throwing hammers like Hammer Brothers.

[Fett One]

Granted but your hammers are useless against plumbers, especially ones named Mario and Luigi.

I wish for a video game that has Dr. Eggman and Bowser team-up to fight Mario and Luigi (no Sonic allowed).

[Knight of Time]

Granted, but due to Sonic not being in the game, its sales are so poor that Sega pulls the plug on the game very quickly.

I wish I didn't have to wait until January (or later) to be possibly employed at the grocery store I'm currently volunteering at.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, you'll get the job by December, but your boss demands you to work there 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. When the police finds out about that kind of slavery, the boss will be put to prison and the shop runs out of business. Now you are unemployed and what's more, your Christmas is ruined.

I wish I were Santa Claus.

[Fett One]

Granted, your first day as Santa is 12/24/17, which results in you ruining Christmas for millions due to not having enough time to prepare and to learn how to do the job. As a result, Santa Claus is no longer welcomed on Earth.

I wish Disney would make a Star Wars/Avengers crossover movie.

[Knight of Time]

Granted, but the first half of the movie is 99.9% Star Wars, and the second half of the movie is 99.9% Avengers.

I wish more people would post in Lingo (I'm actually serious about this one guys; it is still my turn there after all, so hope nobody got too stumped to attempt a guess).