Chris: Nice poems, I liked the last one the best. The feeling of doubt, non-understanding and constant pondering is nicely written.
What if the medically insane are merely exhibiting symptoms of a soul expressing more than we have created? What if we don't see their genius.
I like this scentence in particuliar.
Tara: Interesting poem. I like the way the you personified tomorrow, yesterday and now; and portraited them as lovers. Very well-thought off.
I'm drowning
I can see the surface but I'd rather sink
Into green backyards, into summer scenes
I'm with you
Running up, running down again
Swing around the old hills hoist
Good bye sweet surface, you have
Nothing to offer me
This struck me. I like the hopelessness in these phrases. Kudos to you.
Here's another random poem I wrote. Please tell me what you think of it.
***
Cohesion is my newyears wish
If you could really look into my eyes you'd see that my pupils are holes;
Composed of supressed evidence and half-truth.
The corporeal vision you see is just a cloak.
You see what I want you to see.
Smiles keep the inner-chested darkness safely hidden.
Masquering; my specialty. Masquering my doubts.
Numb is how you wish to be.
A relish for that drag, for that mindclosing substance.
Frustration of your moral. Eating away at your consience.
Like pulling out your hair, one by one.
Limbs are sweating, a heat worthy of despair.
Somatic discomfort means nothing to your head.
The stratification of mind and heart created the great diverge.
Cohesion is my newyears wish.