Well, I've just read chapter 1 of this. This seems to lack description, almsot relying on the reader knowing the Pokemon/location off by heart (Which I don't since I never played G/S/C, watched the Johto series) plus I have no idea what Aipom is. However, storyline wise it is good, the cliff hanger was a nice idea, its made me wanna read chapter 2, hopefully the description will improve later on.

Also on a side note your battles seem to be kinda lacking.