Lisa the Legend: Chapter 82 - Last Night on Earth now up! (24th June 2013)

[mistysakura]

Yay new chapter. I kinda agree with Brian here; Lisa going emo did seem a bit sudden. It makes perfect sense that she needs to confront her feelings after all this time, but I thought it could have been portrayed more gradually. She's more or less fine in Chapter 60, then at the start of Chapter 61 she's totally different. It's not like much time elapsed either. But the description of Lisa's emotions would have worked really well had there been some signs in Chapter 60.

I thoguht the panic attack was portrayed well (not that I'd know), and the session with Dr. Tanner was believable. I was snickering at Dr. Tanner continually asking her how she felt about things, which probably wasn't the reaction you were after, but it's good that Lisa feels a lot better (and strangely enough, I can see her spilling everything out to a stranger once she gets started; it's just that normally she wouldn't feel comfortable starting, like you said).

I really liked the scene with Gavin. 'Gavin was too macho to admit to her twice that he wanted to talk something over with her' made me laugh, but anyway. Gavin's brooding seems a lot more in-character just because he's been changing ever since he escaped the Union. And he's definitely had a lot to think about. It sounds like he's been thinking about it a lot too; the way he lists the deaths and tells Lisa what he has to do is so... resolute. Lisa and Gavin parting was done convincingly as well. Lisa's stubbornness, then giving in and making the promise made so much sense. You know, like them, I took their being together for granted as well. It wasn't until this scene that I thought about how close they'd have to be having been through all that stuff, because I'd never really considered them as anything other than two halves of a whole.

Waiting for the next chapter, as we always are. Except I think we've gotten used to months between chapters now

[Sike Saner]

Good, potent chapter, there. o.o I’m very impressed with the attention to detail given to the thoughts and emotions explored in that chapter. No corners cut there—it was a nice, vivid view of the minds of Lisa and Gavin, particularly the former.

The panic attack was very well done. It was clearly a very harrowing experience for her; that it was was conveyed excellently. As it was actually taking place, before I quite knew what was happening to her, I was quite afraid for her. I was pretty concerned for her after, too, for that matter. I’m always impressed when a story can make me feel earnest concern for a character.

Fantastic work on the last scene, too. It was absolutely riveting to read—their interactions and emotions were spot-on, I’d say, very believeable, and a good, dramatic discussion is something that I always enjoy reading. Plus, that little kiss on the cheek that Lisa gave Gavin there near the end of the chapter was really sweet. ^^

A couple of my favorite excerpts:

And then she collapsed. The fear and weariness suddenly bore down on her, an enormous tidal wave of terror crashing down and drowning out every ounce of control and composure she had ever possessed. She was shaking, completely uncontrollably – the pain in the back of her head gave way to a sudden, agonising tightness in her chest. She could not breathe, her stomach was churning … She put her hands over her face and screamed, but silently; no noise escaped her mouth.

Again, it was very easy for me to get a good notion of just how dreadful the experience of having that panic attack was for her, especially with great descriptions of sensations like that there.

“I had like ten stitches in there before, but then it got all infected, so it’s pretty gross to look at still.” He sounded slightly proud.

Proud of how gross it was… that made me chuckle.

“Gavin, of course I would. Gavin, I’ll always – I’ll always be here for you. I'll always be your friend.”

And, almost unconsciously, she kissed him on the cheek and tasted a salty tear rolling down it.

Gavin breathed in sharply, as though he had been caught out doing something terribly unmanly. But all he said was, in a deep and raw voice, “Will you really?”

“Of course I will, Gavin. I promise.”

And again, that was a really sweet moment. ^^

I do wonder if Gavin and Lisa will reunite someday—I’m somehow more inclined to think they will (maybe just because I’d like to see them reunite), but of course, anything could happen. Well, whatever the future does bring for these characters—high or low, bleak or joyous or anything in between—I look forward to seeing it. ^^