Lisa the Legend: Chapter 82 - Last Night on Earth now up! (24th June 2013)

[Sike Saner]

“Where have you been?!” Lisa exploded.

“Well, I kind of wanted to ask you that …” Gavin muttered.

“She asked you first,” said Marina sleekly.

Lisa grinned appreciatively in Marina’s direction.

Heh. Good move, Marina.

As she trudged through the motions of her lie, Lisa felt a familiar pang of guilt in her stomach at being dishonest with her closest friends – she wondered if she sounded authentic or not – but Gavin did not question her tale. He gasped in all the right places, assuming, like any friend would, that he was being told the truth. She knew, too, that she was only telling a white lie, but it felt foreign and unsettling to not be upfront with her two closest friends. Perhaps the worst thing was, as Marina had remarked earlier that day, how easily the lies now came. But what other choice did she have?

Yeah. Having to lie to people you care about sucks.

“Oh, for God’s sakes, you two!” Marina cried loudly, making them both jump. “You’ve been back together five seconds and you’re already bickering! Can we just keep it casual, PLEASE? You’re meant to be friends, dammit!”

There is just something I like about this quote. Especially the "You're meant to be friends, dammit!" part.

That Mrs Stone is a real bitch. She heard me say the word ‘crap’ to Darius and she made me wash out twenty empty jam jars. TWENTY! Crap’s not even a real swear word!

Pfff... XD I shudder to think how many jar-washings it'd cost were she to find out that she'd been called a bitch.

“WHY ARE YOU SO ANGRY WITH ME?”

Lisa nearly shrieked it; she wouldn’t have been surprised if everyone in the household had woken up at once, but she was beyond caring: she couldn’t fathom why on earth Gavin was so incensed with her, nor why she was so incensed with him.

“Because,” Gavin said bitterly, locking eyes with her; his chestnut-brown irises were steely, “you’ve had so many chances, so many lucky escapes, so many people who’ve stuck their necks out for you, and apparently it means absolutely nothing to you!”

Without another look at her, he stormed off down the hall, his door slamming so loudly that Jamie, oblivious to the entire argument thus far, suddenly started and murmured, “Wassat?” before falling back to sleep.

I like that last paragraph there following what it did. There was that really intense moment, and then Jamie went and sort of opened a valve on it there. Kind of a fun little bit of contrast.

“The weirdest thing is that … I don’t even know what we were arguing about, really,” Lisa admitted, flicking a stubborn baked bean into its plastic grave.

I have no idea why I like a trashcan being referred to as a "plastic grave" as much as I do, but, well, there it is.


Lisa's certainly been given something to think about. I wonder what she'll decide to do.

[Gavin Luper]

Hey Sike, thanks for reading and giving a nice reply as always!

Heh. Good move, Marina.

...

There is just something I like about this quote. Especially the "You're meant to be friends, dammit!" part.

...

Pfff... XD I shudder to think how many jar-washings it'd cost were she to find out that she'd been called a bitch.

Hehe, I'm glad you liked Marina's contributions to the discussion. I figured it broke up the tension between Gavin and Lisa to make for a more nuanced interaction, especially since I think in that kind of confrontational situation, a character like Marina would work overtime to do her best to defuse things, and yet assert herself when needed.

I have no idea why I like a trashcan being referred to as a "plastic grave" as much as I do, but, well, there it is.

Hehe, glad you liked it!

Lisa's certainly been given something to think about. I wonder what she'll decide to do.

Indeed, Gavin certainly added a weight to her shoulders, but perhaps for good reason. You'll see what happens next quite shortly!

Thanks again for reading and replying - I appreciate your feedback a lot!

Cheers!

[Shadow Wolf]

Well, I now I'm waaaaaaaaaaayy behind on this, since I just began reading it, but I'm already getting reading pulses.

Jean paused for a moment. “I’ll ring Mum and Dad,” she answered finally, her eyes still bright.

Wesley nodded in agreement, then strained his ears to hear any noise from the Elite Four battle on the downstairs TV.

“One step ahead of ya,” Lisa said, once again making sure her chin was jutting forward confidently. “Right now they’re in Mt Moon: no mobile phone coverage. They’re probably knee deep in Omanyte by now, anyway.”

Jean's eyes lost their fiendish glow. She knew she was beaten...

- This part made me feel "satisfied", not because I'm vengeful or anything, but because, being the 2nd of 5 children, I know what is like to have a little brother who loves to screw one's plans and get away with it. Obviously, it reminded me of my childhood, so I really felt this part. Awesome job!

After all, there was nothing scary about the piles of debris, wooden planks, pieces of tarp and cloth and general litter that covered the floor of the Burned Tower.

This part made me laugh. I don't know if it was meant to be sarcastic, but if it was, it was nicely done too. Also, it was a very accurate description of a burned lace and of course, of the brass tower we loved so much from GSC where the three legendary dogs awaited.

... And then, with speed Lisa had never witnessed before, Suicune bounded upward, through the hole in the floor, charging through the ancient wooden door of the Burned Tower and south – out of Ecruteak.

...when I finished reading this, for some reason, I thought of the following: "Suicune - Bounce attack". I know, its a crazy thought, and a really random one (since Suicune doesn't learn Bounce), but that's honestly what came to mind. Apart from this, I have to say that this is a nice cliffhanger, since it leaves the reader with the question: Could Lisa and Aimom resist the blinding speed of Suicune when it jumped one floor and rushed outside the building? Is she still holding on to Suicune's fur? I have to say it's nicely done.

Well, I hope to read some other chapters soon, but I'll go 1-2 chapters at a time, since I don't want to read a lot of chapters and lose the essence of serious reading.

See you around!

PS: I have to say that I'm a bit embarrassed, but I guess this is the first step in becoming a reader.

Louis (Shadow Wolf)