Lisa the Legend: Chapter 82 - Last Night on Earth now up! (24th June 2013)

[mattbcl]

So over this past weekend, I decided I'm going to sit down and start reading LtL. The attempt at reading this gargantuan tale has extended into the middle of this week already, and I've only just reached Chapter 20 at this writing, but it's a start, at the very least. I also decided I would do my best to offer comprehensive reviews of each chapter as I go along, and I also want to make sure you get a running score from me. So here goes!

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Chapter 1: I'm immediately hooked. Most kids of Lisa's age have a sense of adventure and a wandering mind, but at the same time parents who don't really want them going off and doing anything on their own just yet. Don't much care for Tom, but the way it's written, sounds like that was sort of the point - foisting responsibility off so he can go do what he wants. The kids are little hellions... they remind me almost too much of my sister when she was that age, looking to get me in trouble over something or other. The battle with Ray was good, very descriptive... and it was silly to see Lisa putting down his Koffing when she'd done nothing yet to demonstrate her Aipom could do any better. Touch of overconfidence, maybe? And finally, the legendary dogs. If none of the rest of your chapter got me, this did, seeing her "jump on board" and hang on for dear life. (Sounds a little familiar to me! ) I'm enthralled with your vocabulary - a writer who uses a broad range gets major kudos from me. A wonderful first entry in what looks to be a very promising read.

Chapter 2: Haha, nice try, attempting to capture Suicune! But a Wooper works, too - it's invaluable. I could swear I've met people like Anna all my life... hated every one of 'em and, like Lisa, would go out of my way to oppose everything they told me. And Lisa's behavior at her loss to Kris and Hiro sounds about how I'd feel, I think, at losing at pretty much anything. So I'm really feeling like I can identify with her.

Chapter 3: Gotta love Aipom gnawing on Lisa's ear. Those little tics and eccentricities help make it feel more real. Also... three hundred dollars? Good lord, I certainly hope she meant three! Ribbing at the currency inconsistencies in the games, perhaps? And Kipp Anderson - the name itself made my skin crawl. Visceral reaction, I suppose, but looks like it was well-founded when I saw his description. Tom's phone call came at an inconvenient and unexpected point in Lisa's activities, but that's the way these things usually go... and I'm tilting my head at him. He's letting Lisa go, as long as she comes back to explain herself and he won't be blamed for anything? What, is he three years old? I fully expect that their parents will still go nuts on him for allowing it. Dude just doesn't want to make an effort. He can't avoid responsibility forever. Moving on to the contest... that's now the second time - third time! - in a row Lisa's had a ball hit a Pokemon she didn't mean to catch. I sense her luck's going to continue in this fashion. I like Hiro's despondence... "I won! But now I have to hang out with a ladykiller... damn!"

Chapter 4: Uh-oh, here comes the rival. I suspected when I read his description but knew it had to be him when Hiro and Kris were suddenly hush-hush. I'm rather glad I never had friends who became enemies, but I know many who do. Usually it involved superiority complexes or misunderstandings. Tyler's personality reflects a spoiled brat... and obviously accustomed to getting his way. Attacking during evolution, how cheap. Poor Hiro. Hoping to see him kick Tyler's ass later on... assuming we'll see him again!

Chapter 5: My my. Sounds like a pretty cool librarian... if a bit of a five-year-old at first. Though I'll bet that was mostly revenge for Lisa calling him "Eugene". I like that he's a nerfed psychic; you'd want him not to be able to do much, at least in the beginning. Maybe as he gains more Psychic Pokemon, he'll be able to do more? Cursing galore towards the end, but then again, I probably would be letting loose a blue streak of my own if I was under that sort of attack... ready to find out what it was!

Chapter 6: Eusine strikes me as a very strange sort... also, it doesn't seem to have struck Lisa how lucky she is to be alive when there were twenty other people killed. Then again, I suppose I shouldn't expect it... she's fourteen, and still trying to deal with the fact that she lost two days. I was wondering what happened to Natu... after all, it seemed to be the one responsible for getting them OUT of the tower... and it seems kind of a funny descriptor, emotion "stealthily" creeping into his voice. He's yelling at her - sounds like it's pouring off him in waves! But still, I'm interested to find out what happens next. Onward!

Chapter 7: I wonder how the conversation between Lisa and Gavin went down so that they were able to make up with each other. I also wonder what happened to Natu in the interim, beyond evidently appearing to Officer Jenny... Hmm, Tom shows concern, but I'm left to wonder how genuine it is in regards to the safety of his sister, versus his level of complicity. Feh, that's a bad reporter, asking how they feel - how are they expected to answer that question? Nice retort from Aipom, though. There's your answer. Gavin being kind of a jerk about Jenny for no apparent reason, though. Moving on to the battle... a Granbull and a Mankey weren't quite what I expected to see in those balls at all, never mind seeing Lisa decide to battle with them. But hey, it worked. I notice that Gavin has a habit of opening his mouth and then closing it again, as though constantly second-guessing himself on what to say... it appears enough in the story to be a tad nagging. But I'm going to assume there's a reason for it. Someone likes Lisa, maybe? Looks like it...

Chapter 8: Aha, now we have a Gavin-centric opening. Good - I was hoping for a different perspective soon, since it lets you inhabit the head of another character and show us his take on situations. Can't tell you how many times I've done the dine-and-dash rush you describe... in fact, almost exactly that way, head under the tap and all. Pretty desperate to go leaping out the window, though... I'd have thought his fifteen minutes of fame were already gone. Guess they're lasting more like half an hour. Woop, Halloween... and why's Suicune angry at Lisa? Well, duh, she's instructing Quagsire to attack it! Who WOULDN'T be a bit peeved at that? Still, Gavin to the rescue! And my my... Lisa's a bit quick to offer Girafarig to Gavin... and odd that she would forget Quagsire on the beach, the poor thing was still "in battle" with Suicune... hmm... sure, NOW the beach has Pokemon on it, like they knew she was coming to catch them before... but now Quagsire's pissed, and I get why. Wonder what'll happen next...

Chapter 9: Heh, the image of a Staryu walking - I figured it might try to tumble its way to her like a wheel but yours is a more striking and memorable image. It might be worth noting that the time it takes you to write/post chapters is evident in the way they're written; in the continuity of your story, Lisa only caught Girafarig the day before, but it's made to sound like it had been a long time since the capture was accomplished. Anyway, on with the review - nice interlude with Lock and the evil grunt-type dude... bwahaha, Aipom caught Dratini! Wait, does that mean Aipom has to give it orders now? Probably not. I'm surprised Irene agreed to a rematch for Quagsire, since she won the first time... and how's she to truly know it was Lisa's to begin with? Hell of a Poliwhirl... what'll happen to Aipom?

Chapter 10: I see a little narrator's bias against Irene - spoiled, accustomed to having her way, carefree, doing anything to win, evil - so I can only conclude this was not to be a nice person from the very beginning. But then, at the end of the battle, she's actually being informative and even a fair sportsman. What a contradiction. ... Green Lanturns? Guardians of the ocean? "In brightest day, in blackest night..." Nice catch. Lisa's jealous, since I haven't seen her make a "proper" one yet! Funny how she almost tried to get Gavin to "return" in a ball. I like Aipom's jealousy - "Hey! That's MY spot!"

Chapter 11: Been a while since Aipom's nibbled on her ear. And that is one seriously cranky Nurse Joy - I've only ever seen her slightly huffy, not full on grouchy. But evidently her mood doesn't even compare to Lisa's after Jack just vanishes like that. I'd want to hear a "thank you" as well. But even then it wasn't good enough... I like that the smallness of what she's after only catches up to her once she's in his face, as it so often happens in real life. The start of the battle reads more like something out of ASB, and I do like that the Pokemon know more than four attacks. That makes more sense to me. Though why does Lisa get annoyed with him calling for two attacks in a row when she called for three in the very beginning? But she won, so it's all good. And another whirlpool? Well, all right, then...

Chapter 12: Knock Gavin out and oh, he can wait. Feh. Poor guy gets no respect. Lisa could demonstrate a little more thanks to him - she can be so awkward sometimes, as I suppose befits someone of her age, experience, and temperament. She gets an Elekid for her trouble? Hot damn, I want one. Gavin's cousins with Sabrina and Will? Yikes. Yes, that would be a fairly cuckoo family. And an odd curse to have to endure. Poor guy, though, always having to look over his shoulder - psychically speaking, I guess.

Chapter 13: There's a bit of a scary experience, waking up somewhere unknown with nary a clue as to how you arrived... at least, at first. The familiar faces must've been a welcome sight. I like Jack's inflections now, slurred and blurry. I note that at first Gavin has no truble running, then suddenly is panting for breath - a sprinter and not a cross-country marathoner, I take it. Nice trigger for his abilities, unbearable pain. May as well use it if he's got it. Moving on to the Cup - rolling my eyes at randomly sexist Lisa. Alicia's hair... green or blonde? I saw it described as both. But I did enjoy the battle; sometimes I wonder if Pokemon just suddenly "know" a move or if they concentrate as you describe Staryu doing.

Chapter 14: At first I was wondering if Lisa was going to catch the Vulpix or not! Seems cruel to leave a Fire-Type Pokemon floating there in the water... all it wanted was a bath, dammit! She's pretty randomly rude, slapping Gavin around, knocking around defenseless Pokemon... I'm never sure whether to like her or hate her. Though I do worry for her after the dude with the knife attacked Irene. ... Ugh, Anna. Awesome battle! Great description and effect. I can visualize it. But - what's to become of Dratini and Psyduck?

Chapter 15: Professional commentator, I'll give him that much, but at this point, it's pretty clear it's no longer standard battling environs. Finally Anna tries to help, and Gavin... nobody else wants to throw a Pokemon or two in there? Diffusion of responsibility for the fail. Whoop, spoke too soon... or maybe too late! Fifteen minutes and NOW they come rushing in. Gavin comes to the rescue in a very different way - shame he ends up in a bigger mess than the one he's trying to resolve. Hah, I knew Lisa was liking him. And now Tom knows about Gavin's psychic "problem"? Makes sense, he does train under Morty. But Gavin's trying to blow off the legend as not a big deal... not such a good idea for him.

Chapter 16: Hah, stray Water Gun hitting a spectator. I've wondered what happens to attacks that go astray in a colosseum. Gavin thinks Octillery looks happy, then thinks it's too hard to tell? The boy's a mound of indecisiveness, poor guy. Hey, lookie there, a win for him. Nice digs they're in - once again, I enjoy your description, and I also like Gavin's attempt to make the best of a less-than-mediocre setting. I wondered when Lisa would remember that she'd been out to find Legendaries... no kidding, she got massively sidetracked. The "Psyspin" idea fascinates me - up until the point it heads for Quagsire.

Chapter 17: Gavin punching himself in the head to activate his abilities? That's sort of asking for it, right there in the middle of the battle. Until that point he had no indication that he could control the amount of energy he unleashes each time it happens. He's ballsy, though, turning it all around on Lisa and Marina by using psychic instructions instead of spoken ones, and letting them think the spoken ones were what he wanted. Ah, well, good show to Lisa. But on to the rest of the fight - it's been a few weeks since Lanturn's capture? Only a few days, I thought... and what in the world? Tentacraw? A ghost jellyfish? Sheesh, keep me away. Lanturn would have some resistance to its own electricity, so I wouldn't expect much damage to it, if any. But it seems it wasn't enough - and probably that's for the best. There'd be too much resentment between Lisa and Gavin if one of them had won. Besides, she and Golduck had done the smart thing by withdrawing from the fight until those two got their issue worked out.

Chapter 18: Heh, that Aipom just can't resist a nip. And I'll be honest, Lisa's reaction was more amusing than anything else - "You're a STALKER!" I'm more curious about Gavin's exploration of the cave, although this Westwood character is exceedingly strange. Lugia? Yes, please... though to find it in a cave would be weird for me, as I'd expect to find it in the water. Perhaps that's part of its strategy, though - keep people from finding it too easily. And... well, if I were Lisa, I wouldn't bother consulting Gavin, either. A room is a room, after all! And... a Ditto? Now that's funny. Looking forward to seeing what happens with the Black Beast - that is to say, Lunanine...

Chapter 19: A sweltering December... I sometimes forget weather on the southern hemisphere opposes that of the north. The story's moved ahead quite some time now. Ha, I knew we'd be seeing Kris and Hiro again - except this seems to be without Hiro for the moment. Poor Gavin, feeling left out of the loop. And now Suicune is behaving even more oddly than before - there's been nothing about its behavior so far that indicates any sort of normalcy when dealing with these kids. Hmm... I wonder what that Raichu was up to. Quite a random encounter. Once again, nice battle. But the aside at the bottom confuses me - if Suicune (and the others, for that matter) can turn invisible, why hasn't it done so on previous occasion so it can be left alone? Why keep appearing to Lisa and Gavin? Guess I'd better keep reading to find out.

Chapter 20: Gavin's less than enthused, I see, but Lisa's got his number. But I wonder how it is Lisa's feeling back at the start of her journey - didn't it have to do with legendaries? She doesn't really seem to know what it is she wants out of the journey. Giving up Vulpix? I wouldn't! But I'm not her. I wonder what's happening to Professor Oak. For that matter, I wonder what's going on with this Rocket - what is it Lisa's been "interfering" with that's set him after her? Not much of a contest for Gavin, but it looks like Julia's feminine wiles (and other attributes) seem to be wowing him. But so much for romance. Maybe he'll be a bit more careful next time! And Lisa gets a Magneton - well, maybe two Electric Pokemon are better than one. And above it all, the burning question: why are the legendaries so interested in her and her friends?

Too many questions and not enough answers at the end of Book 1. I guess that's why I'll have to keep reading. Congrats, Gavin, you've gotten me into this. Twenty chapters down... fifty-plus to go. Hooray?