Lisa the Legend: Chapter 82 - Last Night on Earth now up! (24th June 2013)

[starjake]

Well, it only took me...two days or so to read the whole thing...thank mr. pikachu...

I really must congratulate you on your writing, and your loyalty to the fic. This has obviously been many years in the making, but you've stuck with it!

One minor thing from WAAAAAAAAAAY back in the beginning of the story; is Lisa Walters the name of the girl Ash meets in the Entei pokemon movie? I can't remember, but if it is...talk about giving life to a minor character!

I can't wait to see the next chapter and the third (and, I assume, final) leg of this journey! While I certainly can't complain about not posting chapters frequently enough...post the next sooner as opposed to later!

[Gavin Luper]

starjake: Thanks muchly for reading; I can't imagine how onerous a task it would be to read the entire fic in just two days. I think it'd give me a headache.

Yes, Lisa is the girl from the beginning of the third pokémon movie. This was really just a reference point for me to begin with - I actually began writing this story about the character Lisa as a trainer (in the very very beginning, this was going to be a trainer fic). However, I grew attached to her and her character developed far more than the movie would ever have allowed, so now, I think it is safe to say, Lisa has become very much her own entity, quite separate from the pokémon anime.

I'd been at a (very frustrating) mid-way standstill with Chapter 58 for many weeks until today, when I finally figured out a way to move past a particular blockage. The chapter is now back on track and shaping up very nicely ... lots of questions hopefully answered, etc etc.

Thanks for waiting so patiently, everyone. I'll get the chapter done eventually.



Cheers!

[darktyranitar]

Hi there Gavin. New reader here, just started reading from last Wednesday until today... wow, 5 days...

And what a really good piece of story this is. I'm surprised that it had been 4 years, and people are still reading this fic. And you're very dedicated to this fic.

Well, this story, which seems to start of as a trainer fic, then added with the quest legend, and then, who could have guess, took into a dark moment. The last few chapters are full of suspense, that they kept me to continue reading.

And it didn't occur to me that Lisa is the character from the third Pokemon movie until some people began to speculate on her, and you also refered to the movie.

So, I'm looking forward to the next chapter. This has obviously came a long way. Also, good luck on the nominations of this fic in the FF awards!

(Off to sleep) Yeah, I read until it's late night here... This fic is fun!

[Gavin Luper]

Well, hi there darktyranitar, and thanks very much for reading!

I'm as surprised as you are that it's been four years for this fic (in some ways it actually feels like much longer!!) and I'm equally amazed that not only are old readers still reading, but somehow new readers like yourself and starjake, among others, start reading such an established fic. It's really flattering, and very very welcome.

Your post functions as a rather composed summary of the fic: from trainer, to quest, to dark ... and, in the future chapters, it's going to be a quixotic mixture of all three genres, which will be incredibly interesting to write.

Thanks once again, for reading and for your good wishes.

To everyone - still nothing very exciting to report. This is one of those chapters that takes a lot of dedication and perseverence to complete, but it's only because I want to get it just right, and so far things just haven't unravelled quite as I want them to, so the chapter could still be a few weeks away. Believe me, it is more frustrating for me, the writer, than it would be for any reader, though I understand how annoying such a long wait can be.

Anyhow, I'll keep pushing ahead with Chapter 58 and hopefully will have it completed just the way I want it as soon as possible.

Cheers!

- Gavin.

[MeLoVeGhOsTs]

Well expect something from me this week. I'm going to start reading ^^.

EDIT: The rain is falling with enormous quantities. Not a better day for reading and spending time on TPM. I better get myself some snacks, sit comfortable and start to read ^^

[Gavin Luper]

^^ Cheers, MeLoveGhosts. (I won't even try to get the capitalisations right, sorry!) I hope you enjoy reading this!

Just posting really to thank everyone who read and voted for LTL/me in the Silver Pencil Awards! Had a really great result this year - the Awards Award, plus 13 others, including:

Best Fiction Overall (LTL)
Best Pokémon Fic (LTL)
Best Action in a Fic (Chapters 55-57, LTL)
Best Writing Style (LTL)
Best Plot (LTL)
Best Cliffhanger (End of C56, LTL)
Best Plot Twist (Lisa's parents seemingly being involved in the anti-Union force, LTL)
Best Pokémon Battle Scene (Melee in C56, LTL)
Best Chapter (Chapter 56 - The First Battle, LTL)
Best Character in a Leading Role (Lisa, LTL)
Best New Pokémon (Fiskmire, LTL ... somehow he always gets nominated in this category)
Best Writer
and
Most Likely to Become a Couple (Me and Tara, just for a change )

So a massive thank you to everyone who nominated/voted/even just read the fic, it's the first time LTL's ever scooped up a heap of awards, despite being nominated a LOT over the years, and only ever snatching a couple (which is still good, obviously).

Progress Report: Still slow. I'm really sorry, but it is not going well at all. On the upside, though, I've been producing pages and pages of handwritten notes for the next book, as well as the next chapter - lots of backstory and character profiles, because there are soon going to be lots of new characters, though only a few of them will be major.

Cheers!

[Hyperness is a Good Thing]

Hello, I'm back! I last commented(and read) this fic...14 chapters ago(an amazing two years I think). So I didn't do such a massive job on catching up as some people, who had to read all 57 chapters, but heck, I just spent about half a day reading this. ^_^

Good job on that super long chapter...haha, and even though I know Lisa's safe and all there are still soooo many questions... I want to know more about the legend, and more about the three dogs, and what happened to Lunanine after it was electrified and so many other things....¬_¬ I'm dizzy. yay.
So yeah...basically..UPFATE! and congrats on all your awards. =) When it's done, it definitely has to be archived away. haha.

[Gavin Luper]

Thanks, Hyperness, it's really great to see you back here. Glad you're enjoying. As for the answers to the many questions abounding in Lisa the Legend, they will be answered very soon.

Everyone: Well, hi! An update at last! It's been almost a month since I last posted anything in here. I'm very, very pleased to say that Chapter 58 is now about 2/3 complete (I think it's getting close to 6000 words now - yay!) - and is shaping up very nicely. I did a lot of it today, actually, working off some incredibly valuable notes I made a week or two ago - notes that pretty much plot out the explanations behind lots of things. I can't say how much longer the chapter will be, you all know how patchy I can be with writing speed. Could be tomorrow, could be weeks - but after the progress I made today, spurred on by a very welcome burst of writing confidence, I'd be leaning towards the former. Here's hoping.

Anyway, back to doing a bit more of the chapter before The Amazing Race comes on. Ah, how I love that show!

Cheers!

- Gavin.

[mr_pikachu]

You know, I'm rather glad you didn't have the new chapter ready by that post, Gavin. With my obsessively reading each chapter as soon as it's posted combined with the final exam I had to take not 17 minutes and 4 seconds after that post... let's just say the result wouldn't have been a good one. (...And I still haven't forgotten that nomination, Gavin. I don't forget things like that. Ever.)

Anyway, I'm glad to hear that things are going well with the new chapter. 6,000 words already, and you're only 2/3 of the way through? This must be one really important piece of work. I'm really looking forward to see what Lisa has to say to her parents... and what they have to say to her. And, of course, the continuation of the plot will be important, as well. But since I have next to no idea where it'll lead next, I can't really conjecture on that very well. Oh, the pain of not knowing!

But yeah, I'll be earnestly looking forward to the next chapter. Enjoy your favorite reality show, because afterward, the shackles go back on!

[Master Kirby]

Hi Gavin, Its been a while since there have been any updates. I'm sure you have a life outside of TPM, so that would explain the delay.

Your last post said you were 2/3 finished with the next Chapter. Have you done anymore since May? Maybe if your are having writer's block, you should sit at the computer late at night when you are real tired, and just write whatever comes to mind. Read what you have written already, and then daydream about what could happen next.

Hope you post soon.

[Gavin Luper]

Hi Master Kirby - and hello to all.

I have been writing at every chance I get for the last few months, but with nearly full time work now, plus hurried planning for my trip to Europe, these chances have been brief and usually futile. I have written, deleted and rewritten this chapter a ridiculous amount of times, and I mean a ridiculous amount of times, probably well over twenty by now; it's never actually been completed though.

The reason it's so hard is this: this chapter is the one in which an absolutely enormous leap has to be made, both by Lisa and by me as the writer. After this chapter, the plot will change, the writing style will change a little and even Lisa will change, in that she will have to grow up very quickly. I find it very hard to pull off such a climb, especially all in one (or two) chapter(s), but I'm doing my best.

I honestly can't say when I will have this chapter ready to post. I still have most of the "2/3" that I had written in May, but I am quite sure that it will all need to change. Above all, I need to strike a balance in this chapter between what is strictly necessary for the reader to see and what can be left to the imagination and/or later explanations; I really need to be economical here. That said, it will quite probably end up being an oversized chapter.

It's tough, and it's been very frustrating for you guys, and for me, even more so. I'll continue to plough away until I think I have the right thing to post. In the meantime, direct your good wishes my way so that I might have a burst of inspiration that will spur me onwards.

Thanks muchly for your support! Cheers!

- Gavin.

[Gavin Luper]

Hi, everybody!

I didn't get time to do this before I left Australia, and it slipped my mind until just then. But better late than never, I suppose. As I'm currently backpacking around Europe for 3 more months (been in London for 2 1/2 weeks), Lisa the Legend is on (a definitely temporary) hiatus until October 21, which is the day I fly back into Perth. There simply isn't the time to write over here, and even if I really want to write, computers are costly as hell. So, it's officially going to be another 3 months at least until the next chapter. I know how bleak that looks (chapter 57 was in January ... egad) but I hope (as ever) to get the ball rolling once I return. I have been feeling the urge to write for the last few days, so perhaps I will soon get a burst of inspiration, I don't know. In any case, the rest of the fic is coming ... it's just a matter of time. I don't care if I don't write the words "The End" until 2015, I'm going to get it done!

Anyhow, I'd best be going as I need some sleep (I'm currently in Bruges, Belgium and I've been travelling constantly for 2 days).

Thanks for your patience, guys, and please curb your urges to chain me to a desk and force me to produce Chapter 58.

Cheers!

- Gavin.

[Master Kirby]

That sounds like fun, backpacking across Europe! And for 3 months. Thats a lot of walking. You will probably have plenty of time to think about the future of LTL since your legs will be doing all the work and you won't have a lot to think about. (No school to keep your brain in use). Have fun travelling!

Maybe if you carry around a notebook in your backpack, you could sit down and write, whenever you have a break during the evenings.

I'll be sure to check back this fall.


EDIT: Countdown.................. 2 more Months to go!

[Gavin Luper]

Hi!

I'm back from Europe at last. The trip was awesome, the best thing I've ever done with myself, and I'm now slowly returning to the bittersweet reality of home. Bitter because I wish I could have kept travelling forever (it felt like I was gone for years, not months) and sweet because I get to see my family, friends and home once more.

In any case, now that I'm back (arrived home last night) I felt it was about time I posted to take Lisa the Legend off its temporary hiatus and let you all know I'm back at work on the next chapter in front of the computer, or at the kitchen table, depending on whether I'm actually writing or just plotting away. I won't be so insolent (after a nine-month wait) as to say something so bland as "It's going -well"; suffice it to say, I'm doing my best to make this chapter worth waiting for. I hope you all enjoy it when eventually hits your screens.

I'm writing hard!

Cheers!

- Gavin.

[Gavin Luper]

I debated whether or not to make a double post for this, but I suppose it's about time I gave you guys some good news, so here's a progress update.

I've been writing hard for the last week and finally churning out some good work. Chapter 58 is now (dare I say it?) about 2/3 finished. I've done just over 9000 words and it's still growing - this is going to be a massive chapter!

I've also planned out Chapter 59 and some of the next book, which is going to be very interesting with regards to both the developing plot and development on new and existing characters, including Lisa, of course. For now though, it's back to chugging away on Chapter 58.

Coming soon! I hope!

Cheers!

EDIT 5/11/06: Hovering around the 13,000 word mark now and still a fair way to go. It's working out very well! I'm really, really going to try to keep it below 20,000 words ...

EDIT 6/11/06: Obsessive progress reports because I'm so happy. Things have worked out well. Around 16,500 words and still going. Almost definitely going to keep it under 20,000 now, thank God, but it's still going to be an onerous task to read. I'm considering splitting the chapter but that probably won't happen, I'm too keen to get it all out there at once.

[Master Kirby]

Thats OK. I'm sure by now, most of us have gotten used to long chapters. I like them better than short ones because you can enjoy them longer before they end. I'm glad you are getting back into the flow of writing.

Lisa stood rooted to the dais in utter shock. The man who had been fighting the Union, with his Heracross and five other pokémon, turned around to face Lisa, and she gasped. Her father, Ryan Walters, stared back at her.

“Lisa,” he said, very quietly.

At a loss of anything else to say, Lisa said softly, “Hi Mum. Hi Dad. Fancy meeting you here.”

And then, at long last, she collapsed from exhaustion.

Soon we will be learn more about Lisa's parents, the "researchers", who have been found fighting the Union! I'm going to have to reread the last chapter to refresh my memory on the past events.

[Master Kirby]

That was definitely a major chapter in the history of LTL! Up until now, Lisa was just traveling around trying to solve these mysteries, not knowing what role she played in them. Now that she has learned of the Guard, it changes everything. Her world has been turned upside down, and her view of her parents has been completely changed.

You did a great job showing everything Lisa was going through and how she reacted to it. The sections where you mentioned the things that Lisa had been doing up to this point were real helpful since it has been ages since those chapters were written.

I'm glad to hear that Gavin is still in the land of the living, though that was a surprise to hear Joseph Sterling say he killed Professor Oak. The only flaws I could find were minor grammatical errors such as what mr_pikachu mentioned. There also seemed to be more profanity than the average chapter, though compared with the massive length and quality of your writing, I have to say, this turned out pretty well. I bet you sure are glad that you finally finished this chapter, and don't have to hide all these mysteries anymore. Though ........... now that we know what Lisa's parents explained of the legend, that still leaves us with plenty other plot twists. We still don't know how Gavin's psychic abilities are linked to the family curse of an inevitable battle with a Psychic Pokemon. I also was wondering where Lunanine fits into the legend with the other 3 dogs. And why was Entei working with the Union and killing people (a girl in a tree if I remember correctly)? I guess over the 20 years since they were awakened there must have been some falling out between Entei and other two?

You definitely have plenty of writing material and possible directions to take us, so keep up the good work. While it is never "fun" waiting months for a new chapter, when it turns out this well done, I'm glad you didn't sacrifice quality by rushing it. I'm looking forward to Chapter 59 (almost to 60!).

[Gavin Luper]

Replies!

Brian: I'm stoked that you found this chapter so good. In regards to the grammar stuff, I fixed most of it but left the "k's" thing - that was one of the things I was referring to in the intro to the chapter, it feels better left like that. With the people telling Lisa where to go, it was like that - "Go to hell", and so on in that same vein. Frankly, I thought I might have overdone the emotion in this a little bit - at least from a rational, me-as-the-writer point of view. But when I looked at it as Lisa would, it felt right that she would be going through these feelings, so I knew I had to leave it in, and I'm glad I did. There was a feeling upon finishing this chapter that everything had come to a satisfactory close - not that all of it has been resolved, but it's reached an intermediate resolution of sorts in the storyline of the fic. I wouldn't call the end a cliffhanger in a conventional sense, but I do see what you mean by the broader sense of the term; and I tentatively assure you I won't be murdering anyone in the first sentence of Chapter 59.

MTR: Hey, good to see you back again. Thanks muchly for the reply, I'm really glad you felt it was worth the long wait, though I don't intend to spend so long on a chapter next time. (I've probably cursed it now. Yay.) Anyhow - thanks for the awe.

Oz: You know what, I quite seriously thought of Dr Blight (sp?) from Captain Planet when I wrote that too. It's quite bizarre actually. Moving on from our clearly very 1990s childhoods, good to hear your feedback, as always. As you said, it's setting the stage for a new scenario, aka, the rest of the fic. Darius and Marina are indeed part of it, and the full-on warfare wasn't a joke, either, as you'll see later in the next book. I felt quite Rowling-ish tying in that old floaties-drowning-flashback to this, but it was enjoyable, and it had been a long time coming. I left Gavin's story out intentionally: partly because I would have had some kind of breakdown if I tried to fit every aspect of the plot into one chapter; but mostly because he was still unconscious. There's so much more to come for Gavin, and it'll happen in the natural course of events, but right now it's about Lisa and the other two. Finally, don't ruin the last Ellie book for me! I'm convinced someone's finally going to get killed off or something. And it might even be Ellie, who knows? Anyway, I only just struggled through the mundaneness of that second one (skimmed it briefly), and I have yet to even buy the last one. *holds breath*

Ada: ^_^ Thank you. It's good to hear you could empathise with Lisa from a reader's viewpoint, I've always felt that I had trouble connecting her and you guys in the fic. Glad it all fitted together nicely, too. I see exactly where you're coming from with the whole Lance summing-up thing - truth be told, if there had only been a few months between these last few chapters instead of years, I might not have bothered with it. But, looking back, it seems right that he elaborated to the rest - it's not just about the continuity aspect, but about the realism of the story: some of the other people in that room had no idea what had taken place, and they deserved to be filled in. Lastly, your observation of the Guard's behaviour and motives is very interesting. I'm not going to give anything away, but I think you've pondered the politics more critically than Lisa has yet.

Master Kirby: You're spot on: that was kind of the pivotal chapter of LTL, the major turning point in the fic. Up until now, Lisa was essentially in the dark, and despite events, she could retain vestiges of (dare I say it?) nescience. But not anymore. Now, she knows the truth, she knows who she is, she knows the Legend, she knows who her enemies are and why they seek her: everything is set to change now. As you mentioned, there was a lot more swearing in this chapter, and it was wholly intentional; it would seem artificial to me to have people going through these strains, these emotions, and stay completely in control of themselves, to stay civil. That's not what I've noticed from my observation of life: people swear, they get angry and irrational when they are put under stress or trauma. You're right: I'm extremely relieved and satisfied to have this chapter finished and posted; the mysteries are all out there now. However, there are many more things to cover and work on - including the matters involving the Legendaries, and Gavin's mystery. As for Professor Oak, you'll see about that next chapter. Everything in it's own time ...

Phew!

*wipes sweat from brow*

OK, now to everyone, I've been kicking back and lazing around, just thinking about the next chapter and sequencing it all in my head. I'm actually thinking about making a Fanart request for someone to draw a few characters and maybe a scene from the fic; but I can't make up my mind because I don't want my imagination of these things to be ruined. I'll let you know if I follow this up or not.

As for the writing of Chapter 59, I haven't made a concrete start yet but I'm not bothered by this: it's going to be a short chapter; there's not much happening other than some thoughts, some loose ends tied up and a bit of important dialogue. Ultimately, it's the ending of Book Two.

Hopefully it will grace your screens shortly!

Cheers!

[Gavin Luper]

Brian: Thanks for the quick read and reply, as always. You're right in seeing that this chapter didn't have much by the way of plot progression. As far as I could see, everyone would be completely bombarded by the sheer volume of information revealed in Chapter 58 - from every angle, it seemed a wise move not to keep throwing out the high-intensity revelations, especially seeing as this was the summing-up chapter of the book. The conflict and the climax have already passed: Chapter 59 was the resolution, the tying-up of things for the time being - and as you said, it serves to bridge the gap from the hospital awakening to the departure from Mt Fairfax. I couldn't end my entire book on Chapter 58 - it didn't feel right or complete enough - so this was essentially a closing chapter, a short bridging chapter to book III. I'm glad you liked seeing Gavin again - he and Lisa haven't been together for a few chapters now - and I'm pleased that the end sequence with Paddy and the helicopters was effective, as it initially seemed a little bumpy to me.

Everyone: Hope you all had a great Christmas and New Year's celebrations! The contents page and book titles I promised before Christmas are on hold - I've had a change of heart with the titles, and I've got to decide which ones suit best.

I've had my post-book II rest now and I'm back working away at Book III. It's a mixture of the older LTL style merged with the new direction that Behind the Glass and Burnt Sunset began to take, and I hope you all like it when the first chapter comes along. In the meantime, if there's any more feedback from Chapter 59 and Book II, please let me know! Only having heard one response from readers makes me unsure whether you found the conclusion good or terrible, whether you like what has happened to Lisa or not, or what criticisms and advice you have for the whole fic and my writing! I really love to hear it, and it's the only way I grow as a writer, so feedback is much appreciated.

Cheers!

- Gavin.

[Master Kirby]

I think it makes sense not to end the book with an action packed chapter that changes a lot of things. By just concluding the events from Chap. 58 you place the book in a good place where you could leave it for a while until the next book comes around. If this was a published book, this kind of ending would make sense.

War has been declared on the Union, Lisa is on her way to the hospital, and we are waiting to see what will happen next. At this point you could even pull off a "One Month Later" opening to the next book if you wanted to, and it would still fit well. The future is wide open, with many possible directions to direct the plot. Now it is up to you to take us there.

You have done a great job keeping us interested in the first two books since you started years ago, and I'm sure you will continue to do so. LTL is probably the biggest reason I am still here at TPM. Good luck on the next chapter, and the final book. We'll probably all be old an have our own kids by the time you finish it, but thats OK! The purpose of a Fic like this shouldn't be in reaching The End. The fun comes from just learning how we get to that point.

[Sike Saner]

……………WHY did I not read this sooner?! D:

Well, at least I finally have, and damn, am I glad I did. o.o Best…*thinks a moment*…sixteen-or-so non-consecutive hours I’ve spent in a while. There’s just a hell of a lot to like about this, not the least of which are the terrific suspense and a plot that has steadily grown deeper and more engrossing as it’s progressed.

I love all the surprises; Gavin’s “baby Lugia” turning out to be a Ditto, Morty turning out to be part of the Union, and Lisa’s parents turning out to have been with the Guard were among my favorite moments. Characterization is strong and emotions are very adroitly depicted, particularly in the later chapters. AND THE ORIGINAL POKÉMON! =D Yes, I’m very much a fan of seeing new Pokémon in fanfiction, and the ones here are pretty boss. I especially like Lunanine and Issechu. ^^

I’m quite fond of the darker, more complex turn the story has taken; I love dark fanfiction in general, and muchly. But I’ve enjoyed the lighter side of this fic, too; in addition to the nice, tasty action, suspense, and tragedy, there’s also been some great, humorous moments. Issechu being used as a gun…the “Incredible Bouncing Furret”…the “suite”/“sweet” mix-up…classic stuff. ^^


Simply put, this is a damned good story. I will most certainly be back for more; until then, boss work so far. *salutes*

[Gavin Luper]

A few days ago at work I stumbled directly into a box-thorn. As I extricated myself from the sharp thorns stabbing me, I suddenly remembered how often I've had Lisa run into box-thorns at various points during the story, and thought, I'd better reply to people's comments. Of course, it's taken me about three days to get around to it, but better late than never, I suppose.

Brian: Thanks for the ever-punctual reply! I'm pleased you found the end appropriate to the mood of the chapter - something really was bugging me about it and it took some work to fix it up. As for the "deep and meaningful" ... that WAS a noun ... I mean, not technically, but it's used as such, as least in Australia, and (mostly) with teenagers I suppose ... mostly girls. It means a deep and meaningful talk, sometimes shortened to a D&M ... at least in WA. I didn't even think about it as being a bit odd, but there you go. As for the law-breakers/criminals thing ... I don't see the difference, really, they are just synonyms. Anyway, as you pointed out, this chapter was a way of calming things down from the more action-packed chapters of the last book's finale.

Master Kirby: Possibly psychic, yes, or perhaps just intuitive. Thanks for the congrats, too. I'm so glad you liked the description in this chapter - I actually really enjoyed writing the scene where Lisa was at the window: I just created this description of Redwood City on the spot, and I could really picture it in my mind, it looks beautiful to me. I'm glad it was real for you, too.

Sike Saner: The spider thing was actually a little bit based on a spider we used to have in our kitchen - my mother grew particularly fond of it for some reason and none of us were allowed to kill it - it hung around for months. I don't know why, but it entered my head during the writing of this chapter and it seemed like a nice kind of friend for Lisa during her loneliest times. ^^ Doctor Rogers just kind of came to me, and what a perfectly nasty piece of work she is - glad you found her amusing. And as to the other quotes - they were both chapter highlights for me, too. Seeya next chapter!

Everyone: I sat down the other day to write Chapter 61, but I couldn't get going. Pretty frustrated, I tried several times before giving up and deciding to instead write a few notes about the fates of the characters at the end of the fic. Well, I couldn't have expected what happened. All these ideas that have been skulking around my imagination for five years or more suddenly came spilling out: not just ideas for what will happen at the end, but pages of backstory from before Lisa began her quest, as well as detailed plans for the rest of book three. After a few hours I looked back and there was about four or five thousand words of solid notes - I'm more pleased with this than I would have been if I'd finished Chapter 61 that day. As such, I'm probably going to focus on finishing off all those notes before I get on to Chapter 61, which could mean the chapter is a few weeks away yet, but I'm convinced the notes are infinitely more important at this stage in the fic.

Cheers!

[mr_pikachu]

Brian: Thanks for the ever-punctual reply! I'm pleased you found the end appropriate to the mood of the chapter - something really was bugging me about it and it took some work to fix it up. As for the "deep and meaningful" ... that WAS a noun ... I mean, not technically, but it's used as such, as least in Australia, and (mostly) with teenagers I suppose ... mostly girls. It means a deep and meaningful talk, sometimes shortened to a D&M ... at least in WA. I didn't even think about it as being a bit odd, but there you go. As for the law-breakers/criminals thing ... I don't see the difference, really, they are just synonyms. Anyway, as you pointed out, this chapter was a way of calming things down from the more action-packed chapters of the last book's finale.

Okay, I have to reply to this. I never would've expected that a "deep and meaningful" was actually a slang noun. It just seemed so much like a word had been dropped that the thought of a region-specific slang term never occured to me... frankly, even if I'd considered the thought, I probably would've absconded myself for being afraid to criticize. My apologies for the confusion, though.

With the law-breakers/criminals part, you're right about them being synonyms. I guess the latter just sounds a little crisper to me as a shorter term, but I see your point nonetheless. Just an aesthetic opinion.

By the way, I'm glad to hear you got so much done in notes. That can be extremely helpful; expanded into prose, such notes could comprise several chapters. So it's good to hear that you're making such great progress even if the chapter itself is going to be delayed a little while. Keep up the good work!

I guess that's it. I look forward to seeing the fruits of your labor, whenever you're ready to present more material! Until then!

[Karania]

Holy cats! I got swamped with work from school and from a job I had over christmas at the DIsney store and now a law firm where I'm helping preparing files for a big Zyprexa settlement against a drug manufacturing company, to find at least 4 if not more updates in my absence!

@@

I got some serious reading to do now!!! Hope you didn't think I fell off the face of the earth or something, I've just been incredibly busy.

From what I skimmed over the story, it looks like incredible update material. I'll tell ya more of what I think after I get caught up on the reading.

~*~

On another note, I've begun writing two fics based off of Pokemon Mystery Dungeon. One's called 'Destiny of a Rescued Eevee' and the other is called 'Human in a Pokemon World'

Oh yes... And I managed to get a wondermail generator so I Can make my own wondermail codes and I'm having way too much fun with that!

~*~

Though, I will say this, I'll be back with feedback on the content of your chapters as soon as I have time to read them!

[mistysakura]

Look who can't be bothered to reply on time... Anyway, a good start to Book III. It follows on nicely from the end of II; it could be said to be another filler, but its logical that these guys need a bit of rest and recuperation before the next massive action scene or plot twist. You did a good job with this chapter; it could have been very boring, but little things like the spider, Doctor Rogers and the letters between Gavin and Lisa (particularly the touch with the "Lisa the Legend" title). Very good word choice when describing the spider's scuttling actions. What else did I want to say... can't remember. That'll teach me to procrastinate on writing a hundred measly words.

[Gavin Luper]

After I made my last reply in this thread, I promised myself that I wouldn't post here again until I had completed all my notes and planning for the entire fic. Over the past month, it became clear that that wasn't the most practical decision ever: first was working full-time, then moving to Perth, and last week I started Uni. So things have been pretty full-on in the last month.

Despite that, I did get quite a lot of ideas down on paper - in particular, a lot of info about characters (mostly Lisa, Gavin, Marina and Darius) and their personalities: the hours I spent doing that were some of the most rewarding and enjoyable I've had in a while. I also picked up on a few themes running beneath the surface of the story, and dredged up some of the key ideas that I really want to explore in Lisa's story - so I've come a very long way. The whole story seems to be coming into it's own now, like it now has a purpose as opposed to being a piece of fanfiction. There's things I want to say to people through these characters and scenarios, messages I want to put out there through my writing, which is something I've never really sought to do before. As such, it feels like the whole story is growing up quite rapidly from what it was - which has me very excited, because the original Lisa the Legend is now merging with it's proper purpose - the same story, the same characters, but now it feels like it might really have a point.

Anyway - I'm waffling. The long and the short of it is, I'm still making notes, I'm still planning things for the rest of the fic, and when I get frustrated with that, I throw my pen down and nonchalantly sidle up to the computer, luring it into a false sense of security as I casually open the word document entitled "Chapter 61", before abandoning my cool pretences and launching vehemently into Lisa's next adventures. The results? Mixed, which isn't surprising considering how many things I have my mind on in real life at the moment. But I'll get there soon!

Now - replies! Sorry to leave you guys hanging for so long!

Brian - No worries - I suppose 'deep and meaningful' as a slang noun is kind of unassuming. Anyway, no big deal. You're spot on about the notes though: it's becoming clearer and clearer how the rest of the book is going to play out now, and I really like that.

Karania - Good to see you back! Read whenever you can - at the rate I post new chapters, there's really no rush. Thanks, and seeya next chapter!

Ada - ^^ Nothing wrong with procrastinating. Thanks for the read, as always. These chapters really are something of a break for Lisa and Gavin - like you said, they need a rest. The amount of stuff they're been through in such a short time really does take it's toll. Glad you liked the letters, cause I had heaps of fun writing them - when you're writing the lives of characters in third person all the time, it's really cool to be able to go in their heads and write as them, even just for a little bit. Having Lisa sign the letter as 'Lisa the Legend' was entirely spontaneous, and yet it seemed to work so well I couldn't not keep it in ... I really enjoyed doing that. Anyway - thanks for reading!

Chapter 61 coming. One day ...

Cheers!

[mr_pikachu]

Don't fuss about the time writing takes, Gav. If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times - actually, I probably have said it a thousand times by now - if it takes a long time to make your writing as good as it can be, then take as long as you need. You're one of those writers who we know isn't just sitting on his hands during the downtime; you're working hard to refine everything before continuing. That's a mark of true dedication.

[Gavin Luper]

Brian: Hey man, thanks for the prompt review as usual. It looks like I was right in being a bit concerned about how the emotion in this chapter would be received. Oddly, I was more worried about the Lisa-Gavin scene being overly melodramatic than the earlier parts of the chapter which focus on Lisa's isolation. In any case, I can't help but agree with you that it was a very off-kilter chapter; I kind of knew, as I wrote it, that it was rather different, yet I was also positive that it was the right thing to happen. I even considered re-writing chapter 60 before I posted 61, but that felt like a terrible step backwards, so I left it as it was. I thought I'd put enough hints in there as to Lisa's mental state, but I think it all got lost in the interaction with Emma, and the recapping, and the letters, and the spider. But, despite the way people have responded to chapter 61, I'm still sure it was all necessary, but I suppose that's because, as the writer, I have a different perspective on the story to the readers.

Ada: I hear you, and well, yeah - see what I wrote for Brian, I suppose, since it's the same explanation really. I suppose it didn't fit particularly well, but in my head it seemed logical, because I had been expecting Lisa to have this kind of breakdown-therapy thing for some time now. What I've learned from this is that I'll have to start looking at things a bit more from the reader's point of view. ^^ Thanks for reading though - and I'm really pleased that the Dr. Tanner scene and the Lisa-Gavin parting scenes worked, as they were probably the most vital things in this chapter plot-wise. I liked the way you spoke of Gavin and Lisa as 'two parts of a whole', too.

Sike Saner: Hi again, thanks for reading and replying once more! It's really good to hear that you found those discussions believable and engaging, because as I wrote them I thought I might get readers rolling their eyes at me or something. Yes, Gavin was rather proud of this particular wound, wasn't he? Rather more so than the scar the Union gave him earlier. His scar holds connotations of being trapped, helpless and, of course, tortured; while his latest wound reflects his (rather brave) fight on Mt Fairfax, hence the contrast. Oh, and the moment with Gavin was quite sweet I spose, but it was also a bit more than that.

About the panic attack: I'm glad you all thought it was depicted well - I tried to get the details as close as possible to described accounts of panic attacks. The reason it came out of nowhere was actually simply in the nature of those attacks, though: As Dr. Tanner explained, 'panic attacks' are kind of a latent response of fear and anxiety to something that has already happened. Whether or not Lisa was feeling calm and safe and emotionally sound one second before the attack is irrelevant, because they characteristically strike without warning and without any trigger.

About the next chapter: Lisa will be getting out of this damn hospital next chapter, I assure you. I've written some of this but I'm sure it will change, it always does with time. The planning of the rest of the book is still continuing, with very good results. I'm grabbing hold of all these flyaway threads and forcing them to weave. Much fun!

EDIT: 900 posts! I thought we'd never make it! Thanks to all my readers and reviewers and critics for all your feedback and support thus far, it's been great! [/unnecessary speech]

[mistysakura]

But, despite the way people have responded to chapter 61, I'm still sure it was all necessary, but I suppose that's because, as the writer, I have a different perspective on the story to the readers.

I'm not doubting that everything was necessary. I agree that Lisa had to let all this stuff out before she reenters the world and the war. It's just that I thought the transition was icky, as you said, lost in all the spider and Emma stuff.

[Gavin Luper]

I'm not doubting that everything was necessary. I agree that Lisa had to let all this stuff out before she reenters the world and the war. It's just that I thought the transition was icky, as you said, lost in all the spider and Emma stuff.

Well said. ^_^ Quite seriously. I'd like to blame the icky transition on the big gap between chapters, but I unfortunately have to accept it had more to do with my own ineptness and the fact that, in Chapter 60, I didn't quite know what I was going to do with Lisa's emotions. It would've been a lot cleverer of me to do this big planning phase BEFORE I started Book III ... better late than never I suppose. I'm just going to redouble my efforts to make the next chapters brilliant.

[Charles Legend]

Hey Gavin, Just lettng you know I am Slowly trying to catch
up to the latest chapter, anyways Gavin I think your done a grate job so far on this Story.

I realy like Lesa's Aipom.... *get's Spaped by my own Aipom Mr.Slaps*

~Charles Legend

[Gavin Luper]

Hey Charles, thanks for the reply! I wasn't sure if you were still reading or if you had disappeared. Good to hear you're catching up. Yes, I too like Aipom, despite the fact that he's inherently irritating as hell. Lisa somehow puts up with him; I imagine that Gavin's pretty much sick of him by this stage, though.

The plans continue! Without any evidence that sounds like an empty statement! But they do!

EDIT 2/8/07: I finally did the contents page! At long last! Now I realise why I put off doing it for so long: it took me, quite seriously, almost six hours to link all the chapters to the first post in this thread and make a nice, new, neat, shiny table of contents for all of us to enjoy. During that time I also made stacks of notes for the fic, edited almost all of the chapter titles (they had a crappy old format) and changed many of those titles, too (the new titles of which are old to me, but I never revised them online, so they will be new to you), and named each book of Lisa the Legend (somewhat dubiously, but I'm reasonably happy with the result). I also merged the old 'Prologue' with the first chapter, and additionally did a revamp of chapters 1 through 4: they now have proper spacing between paragraphs, (mostly) proper grammar and also there have been several new passages slipped into them that might make for interesting reading if you feel like it. It's mostly things that delve slightly deeper into Lisa's thoughts or add a touch more detail and realism than was there before, nothing fancy. Possibly the most important/interesting addition was in Chapter 3, where Lisa's background is actually mentioned properly, and Tuscany and Charmaine are spoken of early in the fic, which makes much more sense than the first reference to them being much later. Anyway, I hope you guys find the new contents cool and helpful: I definitely have already.

Also, during my travels through just about every post in this thread tonight, I discovered that Chapter 48 still suffers from a technical glitch we had back in 2004, which has skewed some speech marks, apostrophes and the like. I'll get around to fixing that as soon as I can, probably tomorrow night. I'd do it now, but I've yet to get document containing Lisa the Legend on the hard drive of this new computer. Plus, it's half-past two in the morning and I have Uni work to do tomorrow - not to mention I'm pretty damn tired.

Goodnight!

EDIT II: All fixed!

EDIT III - 23rd September: It didn't feel right to revive the whole thread just to post this. I just did a bit of a rework of the first chapter, nothing very major but it possibly reads better now. Hope you enjoy it if you decide to reread it. I've had a slow-burning epiphany with Chapter 62 over the past few days, so that's changing shape now. But it's coming soon. My planning continues, also - I'm sorry it's taking so long! Cheers!

[Master Kirby]

Hi Gavin. Its been quite a while since I posted here last, but I finally got around to reading the new chapter. I have a computer at my new job, so I was able to read during my lunch hour.

While the emotions may have been a little uncharacteristic of Lisa, they do a good job in showing you that she is just a normal teenage girl. She has been through a lot over the past months (months for her, years for us), and while she seems to have adjusted well, she is still human. Now that she has let out all her guarded secrets she will probably feel less of a mental/emotional burden when she reenters the world.

I agree with Lance, that it would be a good idea for Gavin to train his Psychic powers. If it is inevitable that he will be attacked by the legendary psychic, he will need to know how to defend himself. He has teleported a few times, and I remember him using a kind of psychic attack in the past (was it during a real big pokemon competition where someone's pokemon was trapped in the frozen water arena? dratini maybe?). If he is able to construct a kind of psychic forcefield and perfect his teleportation, that would help a lot whenever he is attacked.

I'm glad to hear that you are planning out the future chapters. Hopefully they won't take as long to write if you have the general plot figured out ahead of time. I'm looking forward to these future chapters. It will be interesting to follow Lisa and Gavin as they head out on their separate paths.

[mistysakura]

Hehe, I'm impressed with the pace of updates! Eh, I never said I liked the new style. I do, but I kinda miss the old style. Ah well, whatever makes you happy. The military's with the Union? Ouch. I had an inkling something like that may happen... who can you trust any more? The reminder of who "Hispanic guy" is fitted in nicely, and the twist of Gavin only teleporting himself away was executed well (I knew something would go wrong but I didn't know what). I also like Christina's snap summary of what happened when Lisa's parents came. The battle scenes were great as usual; I especially like the bit occurring before and in the stairwell. Overall, the pace of this chapter felt dodgy though. Too often, distractions like comments on Fiskmire water would appear. The battlefield is not a good place to discuss Buzzballs, people? Because you've done such a good job in convincing us that danger is behind every corner, the digressions are really out of place. At least it could have been mentioned that Lisa scoured the area and the coast was clear for the moment or something. I also didn't like the chapter ending because it was way too reminiscent of the last chapter's. It felt as if absolutely nothing was accomplished with this chapter.

Nice chapter, good job, insert sandwich bread here etc. Seriously though, looking forward to the next one.

[mr_pikachu]

When was this posted, and how did I not see it?

Well, this changes things. Thanks to Lisa, Gavin escaped... and thanks to Gavin's screw-up, Lisa was caught anyway. Had he not "charged" enough, then? Or did something else interfere? Curious. Well done with that part, as Ada said. Loved some of the descriptions, too, and the way that Gavin's camera sacrificed itself for Lisa. Very nicely explained; the action as a whole made a lot of sense (never thought of someone falling up stairs, but it worked). On a side note... how long has Gavin had a shaved head? ^^;;

I do agree with Ada, though, that the digressions were a little much. In particular, it seemed odd that Lisa would need any explanation if there was a massive battle just beyond the door. Kind of unrealistic (and reminiscent of battle anime with over-talking). On the other hand, I actually disagree about the ending; I viewed it as a repetition technique that, for the most part, worked. Perhaps you could have waited a few chapters before pulling that rabbit from your hat - although I have no idea how or why you would add filler chapters there - but it still didn't hurt.

(Okay, maybe the repetition kept me from realizing there was a new chapter. But still!)

At any rate, I liked the plot progression, and I'm very curious why you wanted Gavin to escape but not Lisa. It's pretty clear what the Union has planned, but what awaits Gavin on the outside? A rescue mission, perhaps? Or an encounter with Lunanine? Hmm. Of course, yet again, we have a cliffhanger: what happens to Lisa now? And what of her family? At any rate, I'm too tired to think of further comments beyond typos and the like, so I'll just look forward to the next installment. See you then!

[Sike Saner]

DAMN. O___O Things sure have taken a very exciting turn in this story. Those last two chapters were intense--great action in both of them, and each had a shocking surprise of that very special sort that I like to call "Holy Shit! Moments", or HSMs.

Another great surprise was when Gavin teleported but Lisa didn't get taken along with him as she was supposed to have been. I can't help but wonder if he might not have ended up inadvertently leaving her behind like that had he not had to hurry up in the "recharging" of his energy... o.o

Once again, character thoughts, emotions, and reactions were handled well. Lisa's reaction to seeing Emma's corpse is a prime example of this. Speaking of reactions to that, another thing that I thought was done well was the way that those who saw the body didn't all react in an identical way--I thought that was very realistic.

And there was even some great humor in those chapters, with the part where Gavin forgot that he could teleport being my personal favorite funny moment.

Highlights:

“Oh, before you go,” he added, a hand on the silver doorknob, “I meant to ask – do you still have my camera?”

Lisa racked her brains for a moment. “No. Did I ever have your camera?”

Gavin shrugged. “I think I chucked it in your backpack when we were on Mount Fairfax.”

“We were being shot at, and you thought to protect your camera,” she replied with a grudging smile. Sometimes Gavin was so illogical it was amusing.

Amusing indeed. ^^ That part got a smile and a laugh out of me.

The number ‘3’ lit up with a soft yellow glow; a cool voice said, “Level Three” and the silver doors slid open crisply.

And there, sprawled on the carpeted floor of the elevator, was Emma’s body.

That was HSM #1. My reaction upon reading initially reading it: --What?! O___O Yeah, that was definitely not something I was expecting to be on the other side of those elevator doors...

Lisa wasn’t sure if she screamed or not; certainly, she tried, but she could not tell if any sound came from her throat. Her ears had suddenly filled with an otherworldly static, her temples tingling from the volume of blood that had rushed to her head at the grotesque sight before her.

Excellent description of her reaction to what she'd just seen. ^^

The silver doors slid shut with an efficient whirr. Lisa stared at them silently, at her reflection: the pallid mask of horror on her face, her hands contorting, clutching at thin air, the camera slung casually over her red jumper. Her brain reeled; her stomach churned; she knew she was going to throw up. Then the cool patient voice repeated itself patiently, “Level Three” and the silver doors slid open once more, and there was the corpse, still horrendous, still dead, still covered in blood.

This time she knew she screamed.

Everything happened at once. Suddenly, someone was holding her from behind. She didn’t even think to fight them; her stomach lurched and she doubled over, retching horribly.

And there's some more great description of what she's feeling. ^^

There was a collective squeal from the other patients; a second later, Gavin gave a grunt of triumph as he flung the window open.

“Go, Skarmory!” he cried, hurling a pokéball at his feet. A burst of radiant light revealed the sleek, metallic form of the steel-winged pokémon.

“Slash the security screen!” Gavin ordered fervently. “Everyone else, stand back!”

The five adults backed away from the window. Lisa let her mouth fall open as Skarmory raised a gleaming scythe and, in two deft strokes, reduced the security screen to shreds of metal frame and wire.

“Gavin, THAT’S your plan?!” screeched Lisa, losing her cool completely; she had just seen Natu fluttering about the ceiling in distress.

“You got a better one?”

“FOR GOD’S SAKE, YES, YOU CAN TELEPORT!”

Gavin let his eyes roll back in his head in bitter realisation. “Fuck – I forgot.”

XDDDD Again, that was glorious.

“LISA, GAVIN – OPEN THE DOOR!”

“GO TO HELL!” screamed Lisa, backing away from the door and aligning herself with the patients.

“LISA – IT’S DAD – QUICK, WE HAVE TO GET YOU OUT OF HERE!”

“THAT’S NOTHING LIKE MY DAD’S VOICE, YOU ARSEHOLE!”

XP I'm glad Lisa didn't fall for that.

“Okay, Natu, you take the fat guy!”

“EXCUSE ME!”

XD Another moment that made me laugh.

Lisa’s body surged with something hard, something beyond pain; her nerves had become strands of barbed wire, spiking her flesh from within. It was agony; it was hell: she was in darkness, languishing in her own mind … there could be no level of pain past this …

Damn, that does sound seriously agonizing. o_o

Lisa closed her eyes once more, readying herself for the queasy whirlwind of teleportation. She gripped Gavin’s right hand tighter, tighter, until, suddenly, her hand closed on nothing but thin air.

“Gavin – what the -?”

Her eyes flew open in fear. There was nobody standing beside her. She was stranded, still, in the hospital room.

“NO!” She couldn’t stop herself: how could this have happened – how could she be left behind?

Again, that was a great surprise. ^^

With a curt nod to Lisa and a sharp call to Ally to follow, Christina trudged heavily down the first flight of stairs, taking care to step hard on the unconscious Union agent’s back.

XD Awesome.

“It sounds silent out there, Lisa,” she said confidently. “I’m going to go out and scope things out. When and if – AND ONLY IF – I give you the all-clear, you follow me closely, alright?”

“Okay, Christina,” replied Lisa, grasping the Buzzball and retreating a few steps.

Christina winked boldly at her before apparently steeling herself, and pushing the door wide open.

Lisa saw it happen: the flash of metal, the explosion of blue light. The burst of razor leaves scorched by a roar of vermilion flames. Christina’s scream.

And that was HSM #2. Like the finding-Emma-in-the-elevator moment, this took me by surprise in a major way.


The latest chapters were seriously awesome. ^^ I'm definitely looking forward to seeing what happens next.

[Mew2-formally known as Evee67-]

Wow so this thing has been going on steadily since 2002?? Thats insane. Good job man!

[Gavin Luper]

Mew2: Yep, insane is exactly what I'd call it, too. Actually, this has been running since 2001, which is even more of a milestone. Thanks for your congratulations, although it would probably be an even better job if I steeled myself and wrote the rest of this fic at a reasonable pace. One day I'll get there ...

Cheers!

[mr_pikachu]

Hey, no problem, man. It's what I do! ^_^ I look forward to seeing how this particular angle develops. It's the first shadow we've seen from the otherwise infallible Lance. The question is, was it a mistake or was it sabotage?

As for the sentences that ended in prepositions, since you're asking...


The older man halted abruptly.

This does not end in a preposition, but since I noticed it while looking for them, "abruptly halted" would be a tad more correct. Sometimes it's reasonable to bend that rule for effect - you've done it elsewhere, and I can see why in many of those occasions - but I'm not sure it's a helpful technique here.


He shook himself sternly and returned to the thick wad of printed documents he was meant to be reading through.

"through which he was meant to be reading" is a legitimate fix, but I'd almost prefer just scratching the "through."


He also sported a very raw graze on his left cheek, which he had apparently refused any treatment for.

"for which he had apparently refused any treatment."


Sarah twirled a strand of her wavy brown hair nervously.

Adverb use again. "nervously twirled" doesn't lose any of the effect, methinks.


...Yeah, so I ended up including a bit more in that than just the "prepositions ending sentences" stuff. Sorry. However, I figured that, knowing you, you'd probably want to see those sentences too.

[Sike Saner]

Holy crap... o_o The argument between Lance and Donovan was amazing, very intense. I doubt I'll be forgetting that scene anytime soon.

And frell, are you ever good with characters. o_o I'm sure I've said something along those lines before, but it bears repeating, damn it! X3 Anyway, that skill definitely worked to great effect in that chapter, shining through the aforementioned scene that took place in '03, as well as through the scene with Lance and his father. ^^

Highlights and et cetera:

“There are things more important than power,” grizzled the older man, clutching his brown leather briefcase tighter to his body as he passed a homeless man slumped on the pavement outside a hostel. “And why did you go over the word limit? You lose marks for that, you know.”

Lol, brevity's not one of my strong suits, either. X3;

“What is it now, Sarah?” he thudded, several hours past being polite.

Nice choice of words. ^^

“You’re losing focus, Jim,” said Lance in the most level voice he could manage. “The Union haven’t won anything. There are still five keys to be found. We still have our other two guardians, Marina and Darius, safe at the Stone’s station. Losing Lisa is damaging to us, yes, and beneficial to our enemy, but that does NOT mean our operations fall apart. The Legend of Ecruteak still stands, and Lisa is not the cornerstone of that Legend, she is only a part of it!”

But Donovan was now beyond cool reason or dialogue – he was looking at Lance as though he had just committed murder.

“I can’t believe I’m hearin’ yer say these things, Lance. ‘She’s just a part of it’, is she?” he demanded hotly. “S’that whatya told ‘er parents?”

“What was said between Ryan, Maria and I is between us!” snarled Lance, quite forgetting to keep his cool; the wound of that morning’s explosive argument was still very raw.

“Ya dog,” spat Donovan, getting to his feet. “Ya won’t even rescue the child of one of yer best mates –”

Lance was on his feet before he knew it; thoughts of having a cool discussion were long forgotten. “YOU FUCKING HYPOCRITE! Five minutes ago, I was the bad guy for apparently sending you into an ambush, and now you’re losing your head at me for trying to prevent the same thing from happening again!”

“That’s –” Donovan spluttered angrily. “That’s – not the same thing –”

“My position is final, Jim. You don’t know how hard it was to decide –”

“Oh, poor you, having to sit in yer big office with yer big window and decide the fate of another human!” Donovan raged. He pointed his finger at Lance’s face once again, his air both threatening and disillusioned. “I – cannot – believe ya.”

Again, their argument was very well done--I could have quoted the whole damned thing here, really, but instead opted to just post my absolute favorite part of it. It's still a pretty big quote, but eh... like I said, brevity's not one of my strong suits. X3;

Congrats on yet another great chapter, and congrats on your most recently-won Silver Pencil awards! ^^