Lisa the Legend: Chapter 82 - Last Night on Earth now up! (24th June 2013)

[Shadow Wolf]

HI Gavin! Congrats on the 1000th replies. Now Lisa's truly a Legend, woot!

...if a battle was never challenging, there would be no fun in Pokemon.”

Wise words young trainer.

...and about her best friends Tuscany and Charmaine.

Ah, Tuscany... on Tuesday... *is lost in thoughts*

“ What’s so great about bugs?” Lisa asked, rolling her eyes slightly.

Kris sighed and slapped her own face. “ Now you’ve done it, Lisa.” She mouthed behind Hiro’s back.

I have to say that this part made me laugh and feel annoyed at the same time. It definitely is funny to see this in a story, but is definitely NOT funny when you know someone like that. I know, we have to learn to listen, but when you know there's a "rambling trigger" in someone, it's best to leave it off. Nice scene you portrayed here!

That’ll be three hundred dollars.”

You might be wonderign why I quote this, right? Well, think of the face I will put after reading this... priceless right?

As if to emphasise her statement, Aipom dropped to the ground and rolled in the dirt as though it were in pain.

For some reason, I thought of all the soccer players who do this in the FIFA world cup, so it made me laugh a lot. Again, nice scene portrayed here.

A tall, teenage boy entered the gatehouse from inside the park. He was fair-haired, good-looking, tanned and was extremely well-built, muscles bulging out of his shirt as he looked out at the small crowd. Lisa looked at him and rolled her eyes at the boy who seemed to love himself.

“ Hello, everybody.” Kipp said in a deep voice. “ Good morning, girls!”

A gathering of girls in the front row all screamed in a pathetic way.

Did you predicted how some 2010 artists were going to be seen?... Nah, I think it always has been like this...

" Well - this is amazing, what's happened to you. And I always thought Mum and Dad were being too restrictive, they should've let you go on a pokemon journey like this ages ago ... there's kids a lot younger than you doing it, have been for years ..."

"I know," said Lisa, thinking of Hiro and Kris.

" So I’ll let you go along on your quest … on one condition.”

“ What’s that?” Lisa's heart had leapt up in her chest.

“ That you come back to Ecruteak two days before Mum and Dad are due back. That way you’ll be there to explain everything, and I won’t get the blame.”

Lisa nodded, then remembered that Tom couldn’t see her. “ Yeah, of course Tom, that sounds fair.” It was all she could do not to hug herself with glee.

“ Be careful, Lisa; stay attentive, but also have fun,” Tom said, nearly whispering his final words. “ Ring me tomorrow, and keep in touch, you know, every day or two. Good luck, Leese.”

Now that's a wise and loving brother. A big applause for Tom.

The Heracross were pokemon bullies, and they were injuring pathetic pokemon that couldn’t even attempt to stand up to them. They were knocking the littler bugs from their home.

This was a pretty raw description, and it molded in perfectly, because it makes the reader feel empathy for the pokemon. Maybe the word "pathetic" sounds a bit strong, but it was well used on this moment. I almost shed a tear of anger here, honestly.

Lisa tossed a ball at Butterfree, who unfortunately spotted the impending Park Ball, and created a gust that blew the ball backward, onto a sleeping Metapod. The Park Ball zapped open, and the cocoon Pokemon disappeared inside.

“ No!” Lisa cried, picking up Metapod’s Park Ball and opening it. Metapod appeared.

“ Sorry, Metapod, but I’m going to have to release you.” Lisa tossed Metapod up into the tree again, and prepared a new ball. Butterfree had its back to Lisa now. The girl picked up the ball, and tossed it. However, a freak breezy wind set the ball off course, and on course for a Caterpie.

“ Not again!” Lisa cried, as Caterpie was sucked into the ball and it latched closed.

Have you tried comady Gavin? Because this had me laughing for a while (and I'm still chuckling while writing this.

Hiro and Kris came back; Kris looked elated at the berry for some reason, but Hiro didn’t look very happy.

“ What’s wrong, Hiro?” Lisa asked.

Hiro sighed. “ My prize is the rest of the day with that boring Kipp guy.”

Lisa and Kris couldn’t help but to laugh at him.

Poor Hiro, maybe if Kipp asks him about bugs, this will be less boring, hahahahaha

Overall, this chapter has been one of the funniest so far, so well done Gavin. And only three chapters and already three pokemon (if she got to keep Caterpie, which I'm not sure), but Lisa is taking a fast step into this long journey. By the way, I also read somewhere in this chapter (too tired to quote it) about Lisa wishing for company through the journey so.... WHERE ARE YOU GAVIN!?

[Gavin Luper]

Dryk: Man, that "timid" repetition shows how little I proofread that particular scene - it was added in after the rest. Good that you liked Lisa's personality quirks in this chapter - the scene with her missing Aipom quite suddenly, her tendency to rehash the same stories over and over to the same audience, etc. Yeah, the last chapter was exciting from a character perspective because it was a real boiling-over moment which had to happen between Gavin and Lisa.

I'm still in awe of you writing skills, just as I was in the first chapters when you were building tension, but one of my problems is that I can only mostly remember the chapters (all 400-500 pages of them) and everything that happened, so sometimes I miss some of the allusions to past chappies. I do think that your characters are growing in a realistic way (although you do have a lot of them, which must be hard), and you have done a good job of characterizing many of the characters.

Thanks. I remember one time early on thinking I didn't have enough of a real 'cast', but over time that sorted itself out, to the point where there is a pretty extensive cast. I'm working hard to make them realistic - I think I've definitely improved with that over time and will continue to get better. In terms of previous chapters, I reckon that's partly because of how long it's been between those chapters being written and then later referenced. And maybe partly because it's not written down in a book form where you can just flip back to the chapter and rehash it. Do you think there's any way I could improve on making the allusions to past chapters better? Or is it just an observation?

Shadow Wolf: Yep, she's a legend now!

Tuscany was totally inspired by the whole Tuscany of Tuesday thing, I won't pretend otherwise!

I have to say that this part made me laugh and feel annoyed at the same time. It definitely is funny to see this in a story, but is definitely NOT funny when you know someone like that. I know, we have to learn to listen, but when you know there's a "rambling trigger" in someone, it's best to leave it off. Nice scene you portrayed here!

Cheers. Yeah, lots of people have that one subject that, once they start talking about it, they don't shut up. Hiro's is bugs, unfortunately. Lisa has learned her lesson on that front!

For some reason, I thought of all the soccer players who do this in the FIFA world cup, so it made me laugh a lot. Again, nice scene portrayed here.

Hehe, nice observation!

Did you predicted how some 2010 artists were going to be seen?... Nah, I think it always has been like this...

Are you referring to Bieber? Heh. He's just one in a very long line, from Elvis to the Beatles to Justin Timberlake and so on (in fact, I wrote this in 2001 and that was right in the tail end of the teen-pop, boyband era - so there was plenty of fodder there that Kipp was based on).

Have you tried comady Gavin? Because this had me laughing for a while (and I'm still chuckling while writing this.

I haven't, not properly, and I dunno how successful I'd be, but parody and stuff like that I quite enjoy doing and have done a bit during my younger days. Comedy writing could be fun to explore further down the track, actually.

Overall, this chapter has been one of the funniest so far, so well done Gavin. And only three chapters and already three pokemon (if she got to keep Caterpie, which I'm not sure), but Lisa is taking a fast step into this long journey. By the way, I also read somewhere in this chapter (too tired to quote it) about Lisa wishing for company through the journey so.... WHERE ARE YOU GAVIN!?

She does keep the Caterpie! And Gavin is on his way - read on to see!

Dryk and Shadow Wolf, thanks to both of you for your well-wishes for LTL hitting 1000 replies!

Chapter 73 will be up in about a week. It's ready to go, but I know that there are at least a couple of readers (mattbcl and Becky - as well as Louis of course) who are/may be reading through older chapters trying to catch up, plus some other readers (mr_pikachu, mistysakura, PancaKe, and maybe some other now-closet readers?) who are still catching up on the sidelines, so I don't want to leave them all in the dust by going too fast. But it will be up soon!

Cheers!

- Gavin.

[Shadow Wolf]

Chapter 73 will be up in about a week. It's ready to go, but I know that there are at least a couple of readers (mattbcl and Becky - as well as Louis of course) who are/may be reading through older chapters trying to catch up, plus some other readers (mr_pikachu, mistysakura, PancaKe, and maybe some other now-closet readers?) who are still catching up on the sidelines, so I don't want to leave them all in the dust by going too fast. But it will be up soon!

Hey, don't worry about me. I like to go at my own pace while reading, and I get more motivated when new chapters are up, so don't hesitate to keep posting new chapters (I don't know what the others think, but these are my two cents about it, so for me, no worries )

Well, chapter 4 went by really quick, so I don't plan to quote this time. However, I do have some things to share.

-Well, Tyler is an arrogant idiot, that's for sure. I expected that he also used a starter, but the stealing of it is not shown (or if it did happened, then it hasn't been said yet). In any case, I think Hiro might need a water pokemon to deal with Magmar and Golem, since those two are an annoyance to his dear bug pokemon and to his Cyndaquil too (I believe Golem is a Rock/Ground type, so is he can't get a water pokemon, then a ground pokemon will be a nice addition to his team. Overall, nice job describing Tyler.

-The rivalry between them reminds me of the many movies where this has been portrayed (Dodgeball, Grandma's Boy, Just Go With It...). It doesn't matter is it happens in series, movies, games, animes... rivalries are a nice addition; and when their backgrounds are portrayed, it becomes an essential part of the story. Watch out Lisa... a rival-in-the-making might appear soon (for some reason, I thought of Eusine... but who knows. )

-Finally, the last scene was very funny because at first, it seems like a meditating thought, but it suddenly turned to be a funny scene. So nice twist there! You had me laughing for a minute with that one.

Well, Let's see what awaits for young Lisa in the future. Later!

[Gavin Luper]

Well, Tyler is an arrogant idiot, that's for sure. I expected that he also used a starter, but the stealing of it is not shown (or if it did happened, then it hasn't been said yet). In any case, I think Hiro might need a water pokemon to deal with Magmar and Golem, since those two are an annoyance to his dear bug pokemon and to his Cyndaquil too (I believe Golem is a Rock/Ground type, so is he can't get a water pokemon, then a ground pokemon will be a nice addition to his team. Overall, nice job describing Tyler.

Thanks mate. Looking back, he's kind of a cliche, at least at this stage. But when I was a teenager I did know people pretty similar to him in terms of being obnoxious douches. So maybe cliches ring true.

The rivalry between them reminds me of the many movies where this has been portrayed (Dodgeball, Grandma's Boy, Just Go With It...). It doesn't matter is it happens in series, movies, games, animes... rivalries are a nice addition; and when their backgrounds are portrayed, it becomes an essential part of the story. Watch out Lisa... a rival-in-the-making might appear soon (for some reason, I thought of Eusine... but who knows. )

Interesting comment. I do agree about rivalries, they can really enrich a story's plot and also bring out a lot of background and information about both the rival and the main character themselves! I won't spoil anything for you - read on.

Finally, the last scene was very funny because at first, it seems like a meditating thought, but it suddenly turned to be a funny scene. So nice twist there! You had me laughing for a minute with that one.

Thanks for reading, Louis. I'm glad you're enjoying those early chapters - I think you will like chapter 5!

Chapter 73 up tonight or tomorrow hopefully. I'm gonna do one more edit (don't want another "timid"/"timidly" situation arising again) before I put it up. So many precious secrets are about to be unfurled in this chapter.

Cheers!