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Thread: Lisa the Legend: Chapter 82 - Last Night on Earth now up! (24th June 2013)

  1. #961
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    Default Re: Lisa the Legend: Chapter 65 - Rogue.

    Whee, replies!

    Tara: Yeah, this chapter was deliberately short because I was trying to write myself back into the story after a few months of being stuck. Interestingly, this chapter was written back in around April, from memory, so it wasn't even for NaNoWriMo, but I get what you mean ... I had to kind of write myself back into the story, and this chapter also began my foray into what book three of LTL was always meant to be ... so it felt different, maybe even clunky a bit. In any case, I like the chapter and I think things get smoother from here on in. And I definitely feel the Tomorrow When the War Began mood, too.

    Stay tuned for more very, very soon! Thanks so much for reading and replying dearest Pancake.

    Sike: Howdy! Thanks muchly. The flashback was used for contrast, but also because it's very important. In fact, the whole chapter is - I think it's the kind of chapter that feels like a filler and then when you go back much later you'll be like, "oh, so THAT's why he wasted our time with that flashback!" Well, that's the plan anyway.

    Yayyy, cliffhanger. I do love those.

    Hehe and I love reading the snippets you comment on - it's the best. Charmaine's a lovely girl, isn't she?

    Thanks so much for reading and replying - it's good to see you back here for the new chapters!

    All: I've had a crazy couple of weeks, so I'm sorry I've not been around much. Chapter 66 will hit screens as soon as I'm done editing it!

    Cheers!
    ...Quest for the Truth of the Legend ...

    Lisa the Legend

    Winner of 12 Silver Pencil Awards 2011 - Including Best Plot, Best Character in a Leading Role, Best Moment and Best Fic of the Forum for Lisa the Legend!

    Quote Originally Posted by mr_pikachu
    Feel free to withdraw at any time, Gavin.

    Quote Originally Posted by DragoKnight View Post
    ...Far too many references!! You're like the Swiss army knife of discussion.

  2. #962
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    Default Re: Lisa the Legend: Chapter 66 - Parity now up!

    Chapter 66 – Parity.


    “You’re going to help me escape?” cried Lisa incredulously, as the Union agent turned the key and freed himself from the handcuffs.

    “Keep your voice down,” snapped Larry, plunging the key into the lock on Lisa’s cuff; the metal clasp released, and the cuff fell to the ground with a shimmering, metallic sound. Lisa’s wrist throbbed – there were deep red marks all around it – and she hastened to give it a soothing rub.

    “I don’t understand,” Lisa said, her voice coming as an excited stage whisper; her mind was spinning. “You’re a double agent ...?”

    “There’s no time to get into all that.”

    Apparently convinced that this was a satisfactory response, Larry immediately sought to profit from his liberation from her side. He crossed the room, threw open the top drawer of the olive-green filing cabinet and began fishing around for something within it.

    Lisa watched him for a moment, before the light glinting off the royal blue pin sticking out of the desktop chart caught her eye. She glanced at it, but the map was too far away for her to make out. Her curiosity piqued, she gingerly leaned forward out of her chair, a cautious eye trained on Larry’s turned back, before she cast a surreptitious glance at the chart. The blue pin was stuck into a small section of blue – water, obviously – in the middle of a small mountain range.

    Two black words immediately beneath the pin read ‘Lotus Lake’.

    Abruptly, Larry gave a subdued, but triumphant “aha!”; Lisa jolted and fell back into her seat, face flushed, as Larry spun around to face her. He moved over to the desk Lisa sat behind and dumped a rucksack on it.

    Lisa’s spirits rose.

    “My backpack!” she exclaimed.

    “Still intact,” said Larry, unzipping the largest pocket. “I made sure everything was kept as it was when we took you from the hospital. The only downside is that your pokéballs were all removed and taken to one of our labs, to be studied.”

    Ice flooded Lisa’s arteries.

    “What do you mean by ‘studied’?” she demanded.

    “I don’t know, exactly,” admitted Larry, riffling through the bag frantically. “I’ve only been to that lab once. The work they do there doesn’t seem to be anything like what Lenina Johnson was doing to pokémon, if that’s what you’re worried about,” he added. “But I don’t think it’s what you’d call ethical, either.”

    Lisa’s skin crawled; her worst fears had been realised. Her pokémon had been stolen – maybe even now, as they spoke, Aipom, Fiskmire, Vulpix, Dratini and Electabuzz were having cruel experiments conducted on them.

    “Where’s the lab?” she demanded, a knot forming in her throat.

    Larry’s mouth curved into a wry smile.

    “Lisa, do you have any idea how risky it’s going to be to try to get you away from the Union even just once? There’s no way I’m going to tell you that.”

    Perhaps the fact that Larry wore the black clothes common to Union members made it easier for Lisa to rage at him; in any case, something in her snapped and she rose to her feet, pushing Larry in frustration.

    “TELL ME WHERE MY POKÉMON ARE!”

    To her surprise, the tall, solidly-built man actually pushed her back, sending her reeling backwards. Her legs smacked against the chair, forcing her to fall back into the seat.

    The smile that had fleeted across Larry’s face was long gone now: his mouth was set in a rigid line, his stubbled jaw jagged and fierce, his eyes glowing with indignation.

    “Listen to me, girl, I am risking my fucking life to get you out of here,” he snarled in a dangerous undertone. “I’ve seen Joseph Sterling murder people for a lot less than being a double agent. The chances of me keeping my cover and you actually making it out of here alive hinge upon nobody walking in on us in the next two minutes, so shut your mouth, do everything I tell you to and don’t ask me again about your bloody pokémon.”

    He swore under his breath and opened another pocket of the rucksack.

    “W-what are you looking for?” Lisa asked meekly.

    “Your Buzzball. It was stored in here after you were captured. Aha!” In triumph, he pulled the rubbery red ball, not much bigger than a golf ball, from the backpack and handed it to Lisa. “Pocket that.”

    Lisa squeezed the ball into the right pocket of her faded jeans.

    “Stand up,” instructed Larry.

    Lisa obliged.

    “No. No, that’s not going to work,” he muttered, his voice growing anxious. Lisa looked down at her pocket: the bulge of the Buzzball was abundantly clear to anyone who might look at her. “No, they’ll see it, and then they’ll take it from you, and then I’ll be dead …” fretted Larry. He looked Lisa in the eye. “How old are you? Do you wear a proper bra yet?”

    Lisa felt her face blush deeply. “That’s a bit personal!” she cried.

    Larry seemed uninterested in her embarrassment. “Well, if you are wearing one, stuff the Buzzball into one of the cups.”

    Lisa stared at him blankly. “But it’s still going to be too big …”

    “You’re wearing a jumper,” pointed out Larry, gesturing to the black-and-orange Ecruteak Fruitbats sweater Lisa had on. “It’s bulky – no-one will notice –”

    Lisa removed the Buzzball from her pocket and felt her face glow even more hotly.

    “Could you look away, please?” she implored. Larry nodded in relief and looked away; Lisa pulled the neck of her jumper and T-shirt down and, not without some awkwardness, stuffed the Buzzball into the left cup of her white bra. At once, the ball pressed sharply against her left breast, but she steeled herself and tried to ignore the discomfort.

    “So that’s how I’ll be getting out of here?” she asked, once she was done. “Using the Buzzball?”

    Larry took her words as a sign that he could look back; he regarded her jumper and smiled with relief.

    “Better … much better … you can’t even notice it,” he said. “No, the Buzzball is to give you a chance at fighting the Union if and when they come after you.”

    “I don’t follow,” said Lisa.

    Larry had moved his hands to the back of his neck and was fiddling with something. Presently, he produced a thick, silver necklace with a tribal-looking pendant attached to it – the kind of chain a young surfer might wear – and held it out to her. Without asking questions, Lisa lifted her long black hair off her shoulders, allowing Larry to fasten the chain around her neck.

    Larry glanced at his watch. “Let’s get back to our position and I’ll explain as much as I can.” He deftly zipped up Lisa’s backpack and lugged it back to the filing cabinet drawer.

    “Wait!” cried Lisa. “What about my pokégear – and everything else –”

    Larry laughed without humour.

    “Because that wouldn’t tip the Union off at all, would it?” he murmured. “Sorry, Lisa. I have one shot at getting you out of here, but your things will have to stay here. It would be far too suspicious otherwise, and my cover would be blown fucking sky-high.”

    He slid the drawer shut and walked back to behind the desk, picking the handcuffs up as he approached. He wiggled the tiny silver key out from the lock and handed it to Lisa.

    That, at least, is small enough to fit in your pocket,” he said.

    Lisa pushed the key as deep into her right pocket as she could.

    Larry then looped the cuff around her wrist again and clamped it over the red marks which had only just begun to fade; Lisa winced. Larry cuffed the other ring over his left hand once more.

    “Now, we can speak,” he said, and at once his voice became markedly less tense.

    “Firstly, you should know that Joseph Sterling plans to use you to enter the Sepulchre of Suicune today.”

    Lisa jumped. “Today?!”

    “In about an hour, actually,” Larry clarified. “Don’t underestimate his drive, Lisa. It took him five months to finally get his hands on you, and your escape at Mount Fairfax – which was pure luck on your part; Sterling had thought you were Entei’s Guardian – made him more transfixed on you than ever. He’s not taking any chances or wasting any time. A helicopter leaves in an hour for the Sepulchre of Suicune. You, Den, Veronica and Joseph Sterling will be on it –” (Lisa’s blood boiled at the mention of Veronica.) “– and Sterling intends to complete the mission today.” He looked Lisa squarely in the eyes. “If you don’t escape in time, Sterling will succeed in forcing you into the Sepulchre. He will obtain the fragment of the Sixth Key within that Sepulchre and be a step closer to obtaining all Seven Keys referred to in the Legend of Ecruteak.

    “Moreover, Lisa, after he has used you to get that fragment, Sterling may no longer see a use in you,” said Larry levelly. “He may not hesitate to dispose of you after that, although it’s very possible he would keep you as leverage to manipulate your parents and the rest of the Guard.”

    Lisa shivered. She was still attempting to digest the idea that Sterling was very close to obtaining another fragment of the Sixth Key when she suddenly understood what Larry’s hypothesis meant.

    “My parents are alright, then?”

    He shrugged, almost too casually. “They’re not in Union custody, so I assume they are still on active duty with the Guard.

    “That’s irrelevant right now, anyway. The point is, Lisa, your only window will be during that helicopter flight. Once you land, it will be too easy for Sterling and the others to pursue and subdue you. I think jumping from the chopper will give you the best chance at true escape.”

    Lisa felt her face slacken in disbelief. “You have to be joking.”

    There was nothing but sobriety in Larry’s expression.

    “You’ll need to act pretty quickly once you’re in the air – it will only be a short flight to the Sepulchre, which won’t give you a lot of time. Depending on how many of them are guarding you, you’ll need to free yourself from your handcuffs and jump from the chopper.

    “That chain I put around your neck,” he added, “is a poképort – it’s like a kind of –”

    “Hands-free pokéball,” Lisa said. “I know; I used to have one. What is it you say to make the pokémon come out again?”

    Revelum Altaria ,” said Larry. “It’s my own Altaria. I can’t promise that she will be loyal to you, but she will at least fly you to safety.”

    “And it’s retrahere to make the pokémon go back in?”

    “Right, but you won’t want to do that until you’ve landed safely, obviously. I’d try to make the jump fairly early. You’ll be heading north-east, so if you jump early on, you might get close to the coast of Red Rock Island. Jump too late, and you could find yourself out in the open sea.

    “From Red Rock, you should be able to make contact with the Guard. Be careful, though – there is a much greater Union presence on that island now than there used to be. You’ll need to be discreet.”

    “Right,” Lisa responded, without any thought attached. It was too much to comprehend that she was actually expected to make this leap of faith; it seemed utterly surreal.

    “One last thing – try not to release Altaria until you’re a decent distance away from the chopper,” Larry added. “The less the Union knows about how you escaped, the better. Who knows, you might even convince them that you’ve jumped to your death just to escape them. This all needs to look as if only you had a part to play in it.”

    “So what’s the Buzzball for, then?”

    Larry’s mouth became a rigid line once more.

    “If you run into trouble – if they catch you taking off the handcuffs – which is entirely possible … probable, even ... then use it, but only as a last resort. If you attack them, they’ll know there’s a mole in the group, and it will mean the end of me.

    “Lastly – Lisa, nobody can know that I’m a double agent, even in the Guard,” his voice had become a gravelly whisper. “Lance and his PA are my only contacts. If anyone else finds out about me, the info could leak, and again, that’s the end of me. Promise me that you will never mention my existence to anyone. Ever.”

    “Of course. I promise …” Lisa responded vaguely, her mind scarcely connected to what she was saying. She was overwhelmed by Larry’s calmness when talking about his own potential demise; her mind and heart were both in a tailspin at the thought of her own. Things had gone so horribly wrong – she was meant to be at a safe house, not in the Union’s clutches – and now the only way to escape was to put her very life at risk and jump from a helicopter mid-flight – without a parachute.

    “And this is definitely the best plan?” she ventured tentatively.

    “The other one involves the two of us fighting a few hundred Union agents at once from within their own headquarters,” said Larry dully. “It’s a bit of a no-brainer.

    “The alternative would be try to escape once you’re literally standing outside the Sepulchre, but I don’t give you much of a shot that way. Sterling won’t be expecting a mid-air escape. It’s your best hope.”

    Lisa felt a wave of numbness spread over her limbs, followed by a tingling in her feet. She tried not to think about what would happen if the poképort fell off her neck before she could release Altaria.

    A short silence fell between them; Larry seemed to be anticipating the return of the blond Union agent, but there was no sign of him.

    Eventually, he muttered, “Well, I thought it would be ten minutes at the most. S’pose I’m better at hiding keys than I thought.”

    His speech emboldened Lisa to ask him a question that had risen to the surface of her mind during the pause in conversation.

    “Did you know Derek?”

    Larry coughed. “Yes. He did brilliant espionage work within the Union.”

    “I know. He saved me and Gavin from the Union on Mount Fairfax a month ago. I couldn’t believe there was a mole in the Union. And now, there’s two of you.”

    An odd expression came over Larry’s face: for the first time in their exchange, his voice faltered, and his forehead furrowed in a way that indicated some kind of latent distress. “After Derek defected, I became the sole double agent still reporting to Lance Hudson. It’s been more difficult than ever without the co-operation of another agent …” An unsteady glint came into his eyes; he suddenly seemed unable to stop himself from talking. “You have no idea how hard it is to do what I do alone. When I had Derek at my command, I could place him in key locations and know that I was actively making a difference. I’m Head of Operations with the Union, you see – it’s a high-up position – I take orders directly from Sterling.”

    He paused briefly for breath.

    “Do you remember what happened in the courtroom in Port Valeo? I assigned Derek there that day. I was the one who put forward the strategy of using smoke bombs. My reasoning to Sterling was that it would make it difficult for the police to see, but we used it as cover for Derek to sneak around and attack Union agents without being caught. It was brilliant. He even managed to finish Lenina off without being seen.”

    Lisa gasped, recalling the incident, in which Gavin had been pushed from behind by a mysterious figure, forcing him to fire the bullet that killed Lenina.

    “That was Derek?”

    “It was a bold move,” Larry nodded. “But, fortunately, nobody saw his –”

    He broke off; footsteps could be heard in the corridor outside. He placed his right hand by his side and cast a supervisory glance at Lisa, who placed her left arm against the thick armrests of the wooden chair and looked down at her knees. At least she would look convincingly frightened to the blond agent: the tremor of her limbs was no act.

    “Bloody hell,” scowled the blond agent, switching his torch off as he entered the office. “Had to really hunt for the blasted thing.”

    He held up a miniscule silver key in his hand.

    “Good work, Jovan,” said Larry gruffly; Lisa noted that his voice had become perceptibly harder with the renewed presence of the other man. “Help hold her down while I make the switch.”

    Lisa did her best to flail and curse convincingly as the blond man came over to restrain her arms. Larry unlocked his cuff and, looping the chain around the chair’s sturdy armrest, closed it over Lisa’s left wrist, so that she was now handcuffed to the chair.

    “I’ll get Sterling,” said Larry authoritatively. “Give her something to eat, Jovan, but guard her closely. If she moves to do anything other than eat, Stun her.”

    “Yes, sir.”

    The blond agent produced a sleek Stunner from the filing cabinet and flicked a setting on the side, aiming it at the emblem of the Ecruteak Fruitbats on the front of Lisa’s jumper.

    Without a glance at Lisa, Larry swept from the office, the wooden door clattering behind him.

    *

    Holding half a muesli bar awkwardly in her bound hands, Lisa tried to force herself to swallow, but her mouth had become a mealy desert.

    She closed her eyes as she chewed the mush in her mouth. She had to find the courage. Not just to stop Sterling. Not just to help the Guard. Not even for her own goals, which seemed too convoluted to even deal with given the present circumstances. She conjured up the strongest motivation she could: she simply had to escape and find her pokémon.

    Fighting the lump in her throat, Lisa forced down the ball of dry muesli in her mouth, feeling it burn slightly all the way down her oesophagus.

    Jovan, her guard, cleared his throat impatiently, his weapon still keenly fixed on her.

    Footsteps came from outside the door once again. The door swung open and three people entered the room in quick succession: Den, the stocky agent who had once held Marina captive; Veronica, the platinum blonde woman who had forced Lisa into the Sepulchre of Entei at gunpoint; and lastly, the unmistakable swarthiness of the Union’s leader, Joseph Sterling, his chin jutting out in smug triumph.

    Lisa felt an individual surge of hatred erupt within her for each of them; she harboured the strongest vitriol for Sterling alone.

    “Lower your weapon, Jovan,” Sterling commanded in a ringing voice. “Lisa won’t try anything with the three of us here.”

    Bile bubbled in Lisa’s stomach; she wanted to scream out, “Wanna bet?!”.

    Jovan obeyed. Sterling moved to the other side of the desk, standing right beside Lisa but not looking her directly in the eye.

    “Lisa Walters, you are a ridiculously lucky pain in my arse, and I will not play cat-and-mouse games with you any longer,” he said smoothly.

    He reached into the hip pocket of his black pants and produced the silver key belonging to the handcuffs. Gripping Lisa’s right wrist viciously, he uncuffed her right hand and disentangled the cuffs from the armrest. Lisa was seized by a sudden urge to strike him in the face, but she reminded herself how vital it was to follow Larry’s plan; and in the time it took her to rationalise her fury, Joseph Sterling had placed his right wrist within the cuff and secured it tightly, placing the key in his pocket.

    Lisa gaped, dropping her muesli bar.

    “Get up and walk,” snarled Sterling, yanking her out of the chair roughly.

    Lisa obeyed dumbly. Larry had anticipated that there would be senior Union agents to guard her, but he had said nothing about being handcuffed to any of them, let alone their murderous leader.

    How on earth was she meant to escape from right under the nose of Joseph Sterling himself?

    *

    With a mechanical roar, the helicopter lifted off the ground, rising swiftly in the silver-encrusted inner cone of the extinct volcano that comprised the entry port into the Union’s base. Lisa gazed through the helicopter window with muted amazement at the sheer level of activity going on at the edges of the cone: Union agents were unloading large wooden crates from the cargo hold of two large trucks on the ground level; other agents had donned overalls and fluorescent vests and were occupied building metallic catwalks, linking one level of tunnel to the next.

    All of them waved excitedly at the helicopter as it rose past them.

    The inside of the volcano disappeared, replaced by periwinkle-blue morning sky. As the helicopter turned on its side, the luxurious shrubbery and resplendent boulders that made up the surface of Silver Rock Island were spread out before her in all their glory.

    She tore her eyes from the exotic scenery and focused on the interior of the helicopter’s cabin, which she had already spent some time analysing while the pilots had prepared for takeoff. She and Joseph were seated on a black leather chair along one side of the sparsely-decorated cabin, chained together by the metal handcuffs. Veronica and Den were seated on a similar leather bench opposite them, Stunners slung over their shoulders and pointed directly at Lisa. There were two oval-shaped ports, to the left and right sides of the craft, but how Lisa was supposed to reach either of them without being caught was beyond her.

    The only good thing was that none of the agents had bothered to use the seat belts, not even on her. An old television advertisement – “Safety first!” – bubbled to the forefront of Lisa’s mind, almost cutting through her fear long enough for her to smile.

    The chopper banked again, the window now looking out over a vast stretch of cerulean-blue sea, interspersed with a few turquoise whirlpools and a couple of patches of pinkish-grey coral reef, upon which small waves were cresting, sending up geysers of seafoam.

    The Union agents had scarcely spoken amongst themselves since boarding the helicopter; Lisa could feel the electric tension between them, the knowledge that a great deal was riding on this expedition. She looked up at Joseph Sterling’s tanned, prematurely lined face: his lips were pressed tightly against each other, his black eyes motionless. He would be thinking of the fragment of the Sixth Key that awaited him. That mammoth step closer to completing his quest, to obtaining the great power that awaited he who could unlock the mystery of the Legend of Ecruteak.

    Lisa began to despair. Sterling had really thought his options through. He had disarmed her completely, removed her from her pokémon, had her permanently guarded and, furthermore, chained to him personally. Had Larry not intervened, Lisa would have been totally at Sterling’s mercy.

    She looked from the left port to the right, wracking her brains. Perhaps she was at Sterling’s mercy anyway: her options were strangled …

    She glanced surreptitiously around the cabin, begging for one of the guards to spontaneously light a cigarette, or even just turn away for a moment, but Den’s grotesque leer and Veronica’s superior scowl were firmly trained on her, their Stun Guns still aimed at her chest.

    Her heart beginning to hammer, Lisa swung her gaze back to the window in the right port as the helicopter banked still higher. A beach of dirty scarlet sand had come into view, rapidly succeeded by a row of fishing huts and some shops, then a Pokémon Centre, the imposing Water Colosseum … more houses … a patch of luxurious, verdant rainforest … and then, sending a thunderous chill through Lisa, there was another vermilion-coloured beach, followed by an ever-growing expanse of water …

    The Buzzball was digging in against her breast, her heart thumping beneath it. She knew – had known since boarding the helicopter – that there was no other way: it was now or never – but how could she possibly take down three of them at once?

    Lisa casually tucked her right hand into the pocket of her jeans, closing it securely around the key … Veronica’s hawklike gaze tracked her, but saw no reason to be alarmed … Lisa closed her eyes, visualizing the scenario she wanted to see unfold before her eyes …

    Sorry, Larry …

    ELECTRIFY!” Lisa screamed.

    She whipped the tiny silver key from her pocket as three ultra-thin streamers of blue electricity exploded from her chest, burning through her clothes; both Den and Veronica cried out in shock, the jet of green light that issued from Veronica’s Stunner missing Lisa’s head by inches as the blonde woman slumped in her seat, shaking with electric energy from the Buzzball, her Stunner falling to the floor –

    “NO!” roared Sterling, apparently unaffected by the attack, in Lisa’s left ear; she had already jammed the key into its lock but his strong hand batted hers away fiercely.

    Lisa reached for the key again, but Sterling was incensed now; his fist slammed into the side of her head; her head split with agony as silver stars exploded before her eyes; she crumpled to her knees, half-fallen off the bench, but the handcuffs prevented her from falling too far ...

    “SLUT!” he shouted, swinging his left fist into her gut; Lisa dry retched and cried out in pain.

    “Get OFF!” she squealed, pulling her cuffed hand closer to her and trying to scratch at Sterling’s hand with her nails, but he seemed impervious to the pain; he grunted and reached for his belt; Lisa glimpsed what looked like the stiff black barrel of his revolver ...

    Her mind darting to self-preservation, she screamed, “INFLATE!

    She hadn’t thought it through: the Buzzball popped through the hole in her bra and rolled into her lap as it rapidly filled with air; just as it grew greater than a basketball, she saw Sterling flick a catch on the back of the pistol and flinched; glancing at her wrist, she saw that the key was still wedged in the lock – waiting to be turned …

    “NO!” Sterling shouted as Lisa twisted the key; the handcuff opened gloriously and she withdrew her hand just as the handgun swiped through the air and crushed her knuckles …

    “AAAARGH!”

    Panicking, she dove for the metallic floor of the helicopter, holding the now enormous Buzzball between her and Sterling – at the same moment, there was an incensed roar from Den, who had recovered quickly from the electric shock and was now on his feet, pointing his Stunner at Lisa’s face –

    Wincing against the wave of pain in her knuckles, Lisa pulled the Buzzball up to cover her face, just as there was an explosion of cobalt light from Den’s weapon. The Buzzball gave a dull, reverberating throb as the beam of light was reflected – there was another anguished scream from Den; Lisa heard his Stunner, too, drop to the floor with a clatter –

    “NO!” Sterling roared again.

    Lisa saw a shiny black boot sink into the base of the Buzzball she held above her; Sterling’s kick sent the ball flying out of her grasp and rolling toward the right-hand port of the helicopter, exposing her completely. Sterling stood over her, feet spread apart, his pistol pointed directly at her head.

    “DO – NOT – MOVE!” he boomed; his swarthy face was paler than Lisa had ever seen it; his forehead was a deranged knot of furrows.

    Shaking, Lisa forced herself to meet his mad black eyes with her golden-brown ones. In her peripheral vision, she glimpsed the handle of a Stunner, the trigger almost touching her right hand.

    Slowly … slowly …

    “You won’t shoot me,” she said slowly, steeling her resolve despite being almost overcome by the hunger in Sterling’s eyes; he appeared quite determined to defeat her gaze. “I’m too important to your plans – you can’t risk it … without me, you have nothing –”

    “You are wrong,” snarled Sterling, “I won’t think twice about –”

    Lisa felt her fingers tighten around the Stunner at last; gripping the handle tightly, she wheeled it around in Joseph Sterling’s direction and pulled the trigger firmly.

    A pulse of green light sliced through the second half of Sterling’s sentence; his open-mouthed gape froze on his face as his entire body spasmed and then crumpled to the floor.

    For a millisecond, Lisa idled, unable to believe her luck; however, almost instantly, Sterling began to stir; and Veronica was beginning to mutter something under her breath. Trying to ignore the acute throb of her knuckles, Lisa scrambled to her feet and spun around – the right port of the helicopter was now unguarded, and scarcely a metre away …

    Pocketing the Buzzball, which had now shrunk down almost to its original size, she scanned the red text printed beside a small box on the surface of the port, below the glass window:

    FOR EMERGENCY EXIT, BREAK GLASS COVER AND PULL LEVER HARD TO RIGHT.

    Covering her hand with what remained of her favourite jumper, Lisa punched through the small cover of the box, shards of glass raining to the ground. She took hold of the bright red lever within the box and, checking swiftly that the chain was still safely around her neck, she yanked it the lever as hard as she could to the right.

    For a second, it seemed that nothing had happened; but, abruptly, there was a loud hiss of air escaping from a lock. Lisa braced herself. A moment later, the port tumbled from its hinges; instantly, the cabin was filled with an enormous rush of freezing wind and the deafening chatter of rotor blades … there was an anguished yell from behind Lisa, but it was too late – she didn’t even have time to jump – the wind sucked her from the cabin of the helicopter and pulled her roughly into thin air …

    Deaf from the cacophony of the blades and blinded by the razor wind, Lisa tumbled into freefall. Almost impossibly quickly, the chaos of the helicopter seemed to diminish into a distant, nearly inaudible buzz.

    Considering Larry’s plan to have been all but shredded anyway, Lisa pressed her thumb and forefinger on the tribal-looking pendant and shouted, “Revelum, Altaria!

    There was a burst of yellow-gold radiance around her; the light clustered together to form the sleek, cobalt-blue shape of Larry’s Altaria, which plummeted alongside Lisa for a second before apparently realising something was wrong. The draconic pokémon cooed in an oddly pleasant voice before flapping its fluffy white wings and swooping beneath Lisa without question, catching her atop its back. Lisa opened her hands and grabbed tight rein of the woolly wings, wrapping her legs around Altaria’s torso.

    At once, the rush of wind became no more than a gentle breeze. Altaria was cruising at a steady altitude, singing softly. Blinking to clear her windswept vision, Lisa looked below her and felt a pang of fear at the full realisation of how high up she was: unbroken blue sea stretched in all direction beneath her; in the distance, almost on the horizon, she could see the dark outline of a landform which, hopefully, was Red Rock Island.

    “Set –” Lisa coughed abruptly as the cool wind attacked her vocal chords. “Set course – for that island over there, Altaria!” she called into the pokémon’s ear, as clearly as possible, pointing to the shadowy land mass.

    As Altaria began to pick up speed, Lisa raised her eyes skyward, scanning for the distant shadow of the Union helicopter.

    Her heart stopped.

    A dark shape was streaking downward through the firmament, plummeting almost as fast as she and Altaria had a moment ago, except this fall looked ludicrously controlled. Lisa gasped, incredulous, as the dark shape grew nearer and more visible … indeed, it was coming so fast that, as she watched, it slowed and became level with her and Altaria.

    “No…”

    Twenty metres away on their left – and rapidly approaching – was what looked like a giant, razor-taloned Murkrow. Perched upon its back was Joseph Sterling, the madness on his face visible even from such a distance.

    “I – DO – NOT – LOSE!” he roared across the sky.

    “MURKRON – HYPNOTIC STARE, NOW!”
    ...Quest for the Truth of the Legend ...

    Lisa the Legend

    Winner of 12 Silver Pencil Awards 2011 - Including Best Plot, Best Character in a Leading Role, Best Moment and Best Fic of the Forum for Lisa the Legend!

    Quote Originally Posted by mr_pikachu
    Feel free to withdraw at any time, Gavin.

    Quote Originally Posted by DragoKnight View Post
    ...Far too many references!! You're like the Swiss army knife of discussion.

  3. #963
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    Default Re: Lisa the Legend: Chapter 66 now up!!! (16/12/09)

    I've got to say, I thought there was a nice sense of realism about Larry. He exhibited concern for his own safety, and he made it clear that his was not an easy job to do, and I just found that really believable--I daresay that people who have little to no concern for their own lives and are immune or oblivious to the pressure of a tough or dangerous job (or who thrive on the pressure) are fewer in number than people who would be likelier to think and react to a situation like that in the ways that Larry is.

    And holy crap, "murkron" is a cool name for a pokémon species.

    Other highlights:

    Perhaps the fact that Larry wore the black clothes common to Union members made it easier for Lisa to rage at him; in any case, something in her snapped and she rose to her feet, pushing Larry in frustration.

    “TELL ME WHERE MY POKÉMON ARE!”

    To her surprise, the tall, solidly-built man actually pushed her back, sending her reeling backwards. Her legs smacked against the chair, forcing her to fall back into the seat.

    The smile that had fleeted across Larry’s face was long gone now: his mouth was set in a rigid line, his stubbled jaw jagged and fierce, his eyes glowing with indignation.

    “Listen to me, girl, I am risking my fucking life to get you out of here,” he snarled in a dangerous undertone. “I’ve seen Joseph Sterling murder people for a lot less than being a double agent. The chances of me keeping my cover and you actually making it out of here alive hinge upon nobody walking in on us in the next two minutes, so shut your mouth, do everything I tell you to and don’t ask me again about your bloody pokémon.”
    Dude means business. o_o I found it kind of neat to see a character viewing a situation like that so pragmatically; I don't think I've seen that sort of thing in fiction very often, so "hearing" something like what Larry said there was kind of refreshing in a way.

    “No. No, that’s not going to work,” he muttered, his voice growing anxious. Lisa looked down at her pocket: the bulge of the Buzzball was abundantly clear to anyone who might look at her. “No, they’ll see it, and then they’ll take it from you, and then I’ll be dead …” fretted Larry. He looked Lisa in the eye. “How old are you? Do you wear a proper bra yet?”

    Lisa felt her face blush deeply. “That’s a bit personal!” she cried.
    I laughed at this bit. XD

    “Lisa Walters, you are a ridiculously lucky pain in my arse, and I will not play cat-and-mouse games with you any longer,” he said smoothly.
    Awesome line there.

    He reached into the hip pocket of his black pants and produced the silver key belonging to the handcuffs. Gripping Lisa’s right wrist viciously, he uncuffed her right hand and disentangled the cuffs from the armrest. Lisa was seized by a sudden urge to strike him in the face, but she reminded herself how vital it was to follow Larry’s plan; and in the time it took her to rationalise her fury, Joseph Sterling had placed his right wrist within the cuff and secured it tightly, placing the key in his pocket.
    That got a nice "oh crap" reaction out of me.

    The only good thing was that none of the agents had bothered to use the seat belts, not even on her. An old television advertisement – “Safety first!” – bubbled to the forefront of Lisa’s mind, almost cutting through her fear long enough for her to smile.
    Those little thoughts that can pop into people's minds are awesome. X3

    Shaking, Lisa forced herself to meet his mad black eyes with her golden-brown ones. In her peripheral vision, she glimpsed the handle of a Stunner, the trigger almost touching her right hand.

    Slowly … slowly …

    “You won’t shoot me,” she said slowly, steeling her resolve despite being almost overcome by the hunger in Sterling’s eyes; he appeared quite determined to defeat her gaze. “I’m too important to your plans – you can’t risk it … without me, you have nothing –”

    “You are wrong,” snarled Sterling, “I won’t think twice about –”

    Lisa felt her fingers tighten around the Stunner at last; gripping the handle tightly, she wheeled it around in Joseph Sterling’s direction and pulled the trigger firmly.

    A pulse of green light sliced through the second half of Sterling’s sentence; his open-mouthed gape froze on his face as his entire body spasmed and then crumpled to the floor.
    That was cool.

    At once, the rush of wind became no more than a gentle breeze. Altaria was cruising at a steady altitude, singing softly.
    I liked the contrast between that pleasant image and the action and peril that preceded it.

    As Altaria began to pick up speed, Lisa raised her eyes skyward, scanning for the distant shadow of the Union helicopter.

    Her heart stopped.

    A dark shape was streaking downward through the firmament, plummeting almost as fast as she and Altaria had a moment ago, except this fall looked ludicrously controlled. Lisa gasped, incredulous, as the dark shape grew nearer and more visible … indeed, it was coming so fast that, as she watched, it slowed and became level with her and Altaria.

    “No…”

    Twenty metres away on their left – and rapidly approaching – was what looked like a giant, razor-taloned Murkrow. Perched upon its back was Joseph Sterling, the madness on his face visible even from such a distance.
    That got another nice "oh crap" reaction.
    Last edited by Sike Saner; 20th December 2009 at 06:32 PM.

  4. #964
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    Default Re: Lisa the Legend: Chapter 66 now up!!! (16/12/09)

    Okay, not a particularly deep and provoking reply from me, but I'm getting back on the LTL bandwagon so give me time! I just wanted to say that I gave the latest Chapter (66) a quick glance, and the description you used was fantastic. Really layered, well thought out writing.

    I think one of my favourite aspects is the way you tell so much without using dialogue. That's done really well, and it's really got me fired up to do some writing of my own.

    As I said on MSN, I need to sit down and catch up with LTL, but it's looking better than ever at this point. Can't wait to get my teeth stuck in.

    Chris

    Show-Off
    Contest fic
    *Chapter 37 up*
    Posted September 22nd, 2013


    ________________________________________________



  5. #965
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    Default Re: Lisa the Legend: Chapter 66 now up!!! (16/12/09)

    Hullo readers! ^_^

    Okay ... a long time between chapters for which I have little excuse, because Chapter 67 was finished a very long time ago, but one particular passage in this chapter kept niggling at me, which meant that the flow of chapters being posted was halted in its tracks purely due to this tiny annoyance.

    And so much has been going on in my life since I posted the last chapter, but I won't bore you guys with the details. Suffice it to say, this evening I blocked everything else out and sat down at my laptop and fixed that niggling passage until I was happy with it.

    To Sike Saner and Chris 2.1, I do apologise for not replying to your feedback and comments a lot sooner; I had convinced myself that the next reply I made ought to also contain the next chapter, and that was my undoing, also. It feels a little late to respond but I'm stoked that the two of you are still reading and that you enjoyed Chapter 66 so much (Sike, if I can keep hitting you with those Holy Shit Moments, then I'll feel like I'm still doing my job; and Chris, thanks for the comments about my use of description and exposition to propel the narrative rather than dialogue - that kind of feedback really solidifies my confidence in the particular style I've developed over the years).

    To all readers, sorry to have kept you waiting. With any luck, it shan't happen again!

    And so, let the flow of Book Three continue onwards, fluid and free, as it should have back in December! Last time we were with Lisa, she was plummetting through the sky above the Whirl Islands on the back of a borrowed Altaria, the murderous leader of the Union - Joseph Sterling - in hot pursuit, his Murkron just beginning to unleash the nefarious Hypnotic Stare technique ...

    +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+


    Chapter 67 – No Such Thing.


    “Don’t look, Altaria!” Lisa screamed in the cobalt-blue pokémon’s ear.

    A palpable red glow began to emanate from Sterling’s Murkron’s eyes: waves of vermilion energy pulsed across the air toward them. Lisa felt her mind become suddenly light; she shut her eyes instinctively, and at once the lightheadedness disappeared. Gripping Altaria’s fluffy back with one hand, she used the other to shield its eyes from Murkron’s Hypnotic Stare attack.

    “Altaria – use Swift attack to your left!” she called, blindly hoping that the creature knew the attack.

    She opened her left eye just enough to see Altaria blindly launch a volley of radiant white stars from its mouth; to Lisa’s complete bemusement, most of the stars veered off in the wrong direction, but three were squarely-aimed at Murkron. The red pulse of the Hypnotic Stare broke as the dark pokémon was forced to produce a shimmering brown Reflect to protect itself, which knocked back all three stars in quick succession.

    The adrenaline was pumping now. Lisa found herself back in trainer mode; this was no different to an ordinary battle, she told herself, though the massive emptiness below still chilled her. She moved her hand from Altaria’s eyes.

    “Good work, Altaria, now keep flying toward Red Rock Island!” she commanded. “And try a Speed Star attack, if you know it!”

    Keeping pace with them, but still fifteen metres off, Sterling and Murkron were glowering viciously. As Altaria burst forth with a buoyant soprano note, simultaneously producing five enormous golden stars, Sterling roared, “Faint Attack!”

    Sterling and Murkron shimmered in the high morning sun before disappearing entirely. Altaria sang an uneasy off-note as the five golden stars arced toward the place where the black bird had been, only to circle back toward it, hovering over Altaria’s head like a protective charm. Lisa tensed herself, scanning the sky … any second now …

    “HA!”

    The shout came from barely two feet away; Lisa jumped as Murkron and Sterling spontaneously materialised almost on top of her and Altaria. She felt Sterling’s hand roughly grab the back of her jumper and attempt to pull her off; wrapping her legs tighter still around Altaria’s middle, she swiped at the dark, hairy arm clutching her hood, but Sterling’s grip was intense –

    “Taa wooo!”

    “Croooo!”

    “NO!”

    Lisa felt Sterling’s hand relinquish her jumper as the glowing halo of stars circling Altaria’s head mobilised on demand: all five sliced through the air with breakneck speed, slamming hard into Murkron’s feathered underbelly. The bird squawked in pain and veered off to the left, forcing a gap of about five metres between the two combattants as they rocketed toward the earth.

    “You have nowhere to go, girl!” Sterling shouted, his sallow face damp with sweat. “You have no parents to hide behind this time – no dumb luck. Surrender to me and I will release you once I am done with you.”

    More from giddy adrenaline than anything else, Lisa laughed.

    “You must take me for an idiot!” she cried. “You think I’d believe the word of a murderer?”

    “I am a VISIONARY!” Sterling roared defensively. “I am building an empire and you will yield to it! My genius is no different to that of any of the other great emperors. There is always a revolution before the Golden Age!”

    “Do you hear yourself?” Lisa cried into the wind, unsettled. “You’re INSANE. You’re absolutely insane!”

    Murkron swooped ever closer, the two flight paths collimating just three metres apart as Sterling spoke.

    “I am the only one on this planet wise enough to know that fulfilling the Legend is the key to an immeasurable power. A power that would render me invincible … a power that would make all my endeavours eternally successful …”

    “A power that isn’t yours to take!” Lisa shot back. Out of the corner of her eye she spotted the rapidly-growing landmass down below; the island was close.

    “And whose IS it, then?” Sterling barked. “Is it the birthright of a precious few? People too dumb and too small, and too trapped in the conventions and superstitions of ancient myths to ever aspire to greatness?” His eyes darkened dangerously. “I have always hated that kind of exclusive bullshit.” He reached for his black pistol again and aimed it at Lisa. “I will give you one last offer. Surrender to me now, and I promise to spare your life after you give me your fragment of the Sixth Key!”

    Lisa swallowed the lump in her throat.

    Never!”

    Sterling cocked his pistol.

    “I thought we already established this in the helicopter!” Lisa cried, her voice cracking as a shiver of terror danced down her spine. “You need me too much … You won’t risk shooting me!”

    Sterling’s eyes flashed.

    “Again with your precious birthright!” he snorted, and his black eyes looked genuinely unbalanced for the first time. “You’re showing your ignorance of the Legend, Lisa. Haven’t you ever wondered what would happen if a guardian were to die?” He seemed to savour the greedy smirk spreading across his face. “Your family’s blood does not make you immortal, Lisa Walters,” he said levelly, flicking the safety off the pistol.

    As his finger closed on the trigger, Lisa felt her heart jump-start itself in panic.

    “ALTARIA, DIVE!”

    If there was a shot fired, Lisa didn’t hear it: her ears were battered by the force of the wind tunnel Altaria created as it speared through the air toward the approaching form of Red Rock Island. After only a few seconds of flight, however, Altaria jolted wildly, shuddering and almost throwing Lisa off as it squealed in pain.

    Lisa spun round: Altaria’s left wing had been scorched black by some kind of ranged attack from Murkron. Sterling was still pacing them in hot pursuit.

    “Altaria, try an Aurora Beam,” Lisa ordered, brushing the embers from Altaria’s wing. Deciding it was hardly a time for ethical battling, she retrieved the crimson Buzzball from her pocket and, holding it out in Sterling’s direction like a weapon, cried, “Electrify!

    A crackling streamer of ultramarine electricity irrupted the air as a wide beam of rainbow-tinged light from Altaria’s mouth exploded toward the two foes. Sterling shouted something at Murkron and a shimmering, protective Light Screen suddenly enveloped them. The Aurora Beam bounced soundlessly off the orb-like shield and arced off toward a low cloud; the bolt from the Buzzball zapped the Light Screen and shattered it, but failed to penetrate, leaving Sterling and his charge undamaged.

    “MURKRON, SHADOW BALL!” commanded Sterling.

    “TRY A HYPER BEAM!” Lisa cried, but Altaria shook its head vehemently. “Oh – God – another Aurora Beam then!” she amended, panicking.

    She glanced at the rapidly-moving landscape below. They were now almost above Red Rock Island. They had descended so far now that people could be seen on the beach, pointing up at the fierce battle in the sky.

    As Murkron crowed and jettisoned a pulsating purple-and-black orb toward them, Altaria cooed and projected a second Aurora Beam at its adversary. The two ranged attacks collided with a bang; momentarily, everything seemed to freeze and hang in the air – Lisa could barely feel the wind whipping at her bare skin – and then, devastatingly, the Shadow Ball glowed and rolled right through the rainbow beam.

    Both Lisa and Altaria screamed as the violet ball of Ghost energy slammed into them: Lisa felt as though her left side had been washed in acid, such was the intense burn of the attack; her left hand involuntarily relinquished the fur of Altaria’s damaged wing, but she squinted through the pain, clutching her right hand ever tighter –

    – but to no avail. She screamed as she realised that Altaria had gone limp, plummetting through the air in free-fall.

    Sterling was cackling. As Lisa fell, she caught, from the corner of her eye, a glimpse of several white boats. Then it came – the rat-tat-tat of gunfire – and a flood of cold water drowned out the rest of the world.

    *

    “Don’t touch me!”

    Strong hands were sliding over Lisa’s wet neck.

    “Calm down …” said a voice.

    “I’ll NEVER help you, you son of a bitch!”

    “Mate, calm down, we’re just tryin’ to help you.”

    It was the ocker voice that brought Lisa to her senses. She stopped brandishing her arms around and opened her eyes. A tanned, blond man wearing a plain white polo shirt that had the word ‘COASTGUARD’ emblazoned on the chest was kneeling over her, his thumb and forefinger placed on the poképort around her neck.

    Retrahere, Altaria,” he said, pronouncing the Latin word in a broad Australian accent. “Poor thing looks buggered.”

    Lisa was aware of a flash of golden light as Altaria was returned to the poképort, but the pokémon was the last thing on her mind.

    “Where is he?” she demanded, sitting up abruptly and feeling a sharp pain in her chest. “Where’d he go? He won’t be far away …”

    She turned her head back and forth, frantically surveying her surroundings. She was seated on a beach of fine vermilion sand, about two metres from where the waves were breaking and hissing. There was a wooden jetty nearby that extended far into the water, where about a dozen white boats were moored. A cluster of people was standing on the beach behind the coastguard, looking at her curiously.

    Lisa’s heart hammered: there was no sign of Sterling or Murkron …

    “Where is he?” she repeated, now looking at the bleached-blond coastguard for answers.

    He straightened up and crossed his muscled arms.

    “You mean Sterling? He bailed, ay,” he said, his youthful face insouciant.

    “You’re wrong,” Lisa shot back, scanning the faces in the watching crowd in case the Union leader had hidden himself among them. “He wouldn’t stop chasing me – he’ll be here somewhere –”

    “No, he won’t,” said the coastguard firmly. “We scared ‘im off.”

    “Oh right, how did you do that?” Lisa said disbelievingly.

    An older, even bulkier man, who also wore the coastguard uniform, leaned in from the onlooking crowd and said, in a guttural voice:

    “We shot ‘im.”

    “What?!”

    “We shot at ‘im,” corrected the younger man. “Our boats’ve got pretty good guns. Dunno if we pegged ‘im though …”

    “I did,” interjected the other man, who had the appearance of an experienced, middle-aged seadog. “Got ‘is fuckin’ shoulder, but.”

    “Spewin’,” said the younger man.

    “So he just – left?”

    The younger man nodded as he began to roll a cigarette. “Pissed off on ‘is bird, the bastard. We had that many clear shots at ‘im, too … woulda been legendary …”

    Lisa scanned the sky for the umpteenth time, but it was unnervingly clear. Had Sterling really given up?

    “I called the coppers,” added the blond man, meticulously packing the tobacco. “So you can give ‘em a statement when they get ‘ere. What’s yer name anyway?”

    Lisa had opened her mouth to reply when two thoughts simultaneously jostled for pole position in her brain: Larry telling her, barely an hour ago, that the Union now had a strong presence on Red Rock Island; and the thought that, if the Army guarding Redwood Hospital had been infiltrated by Union agents, it was entirely possible that the Red Rock Police could have been, too.

    Coughing, she said, “Charmaine.”

    The man tucked the freshly-rolled cigarette into his mouth and extended his hand. Lisa allowed him to shake hers without expending any energy herself – her exhausted mind was racing again.

    “I’m Darren,” added the man. “Senior Officer in the Whirl Islands Coastguard.” He released her hand. “So, Charmaine, ya gonna tell us what ya were doin’, havin’ it out with Joseph Sterling?”

    Lisa barely heard him; she was checking her pockets for the Buzzball. As she looked down at her body, she realised how bedraggled she looked. She was completely soaked, her hair matted and the left sleeves of her both her sodden jumper and her T-shirt had been torn apart by the Shadow Ball. The strap of her broken bra was hanging beneath the bottom of her jumper. She was a mess, her ribs and knuckles were aching sharply … but she had made it out alive.

    “Was there a red ball on me when you pulled me out of the water?” she asked bluntly.

    Darren raised a dark eyebrow toward his crop of bleached hair, clearly affronted that she had ignored his question.

    “Um – there was,” he said. “Abe, where’d ya put that ball?”

    The old seadog turned and called out in a gruff voice, “OY, BLUEY, GET ‘ERE!”

    A Growlithe bounded out from beneath an overturned dinghy and ran up to his feet, dropping a crimson, saliva-coated ball from its mouth onto the sand.

    “There ya go,”growled the seadog, patting Growlithe affectionately.

    Lisa crawled forward to retrieve the Buzzball. Just as she was wiping the drool off against the sand, she noticed that the old seadog’s eyes seemed intently trained on her chest. Uneasy, she looked down to notice that her frayed jumper had torn even further, almost exposing her through her soaked white T-shirt.

    Shooting a disgusted look at the man, and feeling rather disgusting herself, she grabbed the Buzzball and used her other arm to hold her jumper against her chest.

    “Is there somewhere I could dry off?” she asked Darren, who was apparently unaware of the seadog’s leering.

    He took a look at the rent in her jumper and nodded, emitting a puff of smoke from his mouth before he said, “Absolutely. If ya go to the red and yellow tent just up the beach there –” He pointed to an enclosed marquee twenty metres away. “– ya can use our towels. We have Surf Lifesaver shirts in there too, if you need to change into something,” he added, understandingly. “Don’t be long, though, the coppers are just around the corner.”

    Lisa clambered to her feet. “Don’t worry, I won’t take long!”

    Pocketing the Buzzball, she jogged through the still-gawking crowd, some of whom were still excitedly whispering about sighting the notorious Joseph Sterling in the flesh, and headed for the tent.

    The flap closed behind her, shutting her in the cool semi-dark of the tent. It was a welcome break from the attention of Darren and the others: the only thing she could hear in here was the seafoam rushing against the red-tinted sand, and the distant calls of deckhands on the jetty.

    There was a pile of fluffy white towels on an empty milk crate on one side of the tent. Checking to make sure she was completely alone, Lisa stripped off her destroyed jumper and T-shirt, and threw her bra to the ground, shuddering slightly at the memory of the old seadog’s close attention. As she dried herself down, she realised she was trembling quite violently.

    No wonder, she thought. For a minute there, escape had seemed impossible.

    Pressing her ebony hair against the towel, she scanned the tent for clothes. There was a lot of junk strewn about the place – surfboards and paddles for dragon-boats, a couple of battered eskies, an unwieldly collection of grey lever-arch files stacked precariously on a bodyboard – but eventually, Lisa spied a plastic bag overflowing with traditional red-and-yellow T-shirts and, grabbing the first one she saw, threw it over her head. It was a size or two too big, but it was dry and welcome.

    She considered abandoning her sopping clothes in the tent, but there was no point leaving clues. She emptied a plastic bag and shoved her jumper, T-shirt and bra into it, along with the towel, and tied the bag up tightly.

    She crept back to the flap through which she had entered and peered through it. Near the start of the jetty, Darren was standing beside a group of four blue-clothed policemen, talking and pointing at the sky. Lisa decided not to take any risks. She hurried across to the other side of the tent and opened the flap on that side. This part of the beach was further away from the boats and fishermen, and thus far less frequented: aside from a young couple sunbathing about fifty metres ahead, the shoreline was deserted.

    Nearby, a wooden sign fixtured at the mouth of a broad, sandy track proclaimed, “Town Centre – 1.2 km”. Without looking back, Lisa began the arduous jog inland.

    *

    The main street of Red Rock Island was much as Lisa remembered it: colourful market stalls spilled out onto the flagstones as brightly-dressed locals haggled with merchants and fishermen. Despite the approach of the cooler months, the throng of tourists seemed just as great as in November – a fact Lisa appreciated as she weaved her way, eyes on the ground, through the cobbled mall. At least she would be less visible in a crowd – and wearing a Surf Live Saver’s uniform would hopefully keep any Union spies off guard.

    Dodging an obese man who seemed to be wrestling a live chicken into a cage, she raised her eyes briefly from the ground to get her bearings. The local pokémon centre was just a few shops down – it was the only place she could think of that would offer a free telephone service.

    “BERRIES!” a greasy-haired hag appeared from nowhere, roaring in Lisa’s face and brandishing a handful of bulbous purple berries. “Pseudoberries for sale! Trick your opponents in battle by making them think you have berries attached to your pokémon, when in fact they are purely ornamental! Only forty dollars for four! What do you say, dear girl?”

    Lisa’s face screwed itself up involuntarily against the woman’s musty halitosis.

    “I’ll pass,” she muttered briefly, sidestepping the old woman, who launched into a brief tirade of abuse before recycling her spiel on the next passer-by.

    The pokémon centre had apparently undergone renovations since Lisa’s last visit. The exterior façade was now comprised of bamboo, and the roof was now thatched, perhaps in an attempt to make the place appear more exotic, although the entrance, Lisa noticed, was still an electric sliding door.

    Dodging another pushy vendor who thrust a vial of cloudy liquid in front of her (“Second-hand Mystic Water!”), Lisa made her way inside the centre and immediately felt as though she had stumbled into a party. The place where the front counter used to be was now occupied by a high dais, upon which a calypso band was jamming. The dreadlocked lead singer was gazing at the ceiling and chanting the same syllable over and over while a small collection of spectators – who lazed, lizard-like, on cushions and beanbags clustered on the cement floor – looked on, apparently entranced.

    Lisa surveyed the rest of the foyer. Apparently the traditional trainer’s lounge had been replaced: in the far corner of the room, there was a multicoloured mat splayed across the floor, upon which two pigtailed trainers were stretching into yoga positions.

    “What the hell …” Lisa mumbled to herself, just as she felt a hand push roughly into her back. Startled, she wheeled around, her hand leaping for her pocket until she realised the person behind her was simply a pale, peroxide-blond teenager who seemed to be having trouble keeping his balance.

    “Whoa …” he muttered, straightening up and holding a hand in Lisa’s face. “Sorry, dude … Peace, ay?”

    Had she not had other matters on her mind, Lisa probably would have laughed at him. “Peace. Sure …”

    As she turned away, the young man tapped her on the shoulder again.

    “You seen Trent? He owes me money ay …”

    Lisa nose crinkled; she could smell a savoury, intoxicating scent wafting from the teenager’s clothes.

    “I don’t know, sorry,” she said. “Listen, is this still the pokémon centre or have they converted it into … something else?”

    The teenager’s bloodshot eyes darted around the bamboo walls, as though he had just realised where he had wandered into. “Yeah, yeah, this is it,” he mumbled. “You need to fix up your pokes?”

    “Yeah – but I don’t see where I’m meant to go,” Lisa added, rapidly feeling as though she was asking a blind person for directions.

    The young man yawned and scratched his crotch unabashedly. “Outside, dude,” he muttered, pointing vaguely in the direction of the two girls on the yoga mat. Following his gaze, Lisa realised there was a bamboo door cut into the wall just behind the girls.

    “Right – thanks, then,” she said, keen to get away from the thick odour surrounding the young man.

    “Peace!” slurred the voice behind her.

    It was with relief that Lisa opened the door and saw a breezy courtyard filled with trainers who looked at least slightly less doped up. Beneath a crossing of two palm branches stood an auburn-haired, middle-aged Nurse Joy, loading pokéballs into a healing apparatus.

    “Morning,” the nurse greeted in a lazy, lilting voice as Lisa approached the counter. “What can I do for you?”

    “I just need my Altaria healed,” Lisa said, releasing the catch on her poképort and handing it over to Joy. “And, if it’s possible, could I use your telephone?”

    Nurse Joy wrapped the poképort in a square of white material and placed it in a clear plastic dish. “Totally. What was your name, honey?”

    “Charmaine,” Lisa lied.

    “Lovely to meet you. I’m Joy, of course,” she smiled, adjusting a rainbow ribbon she had braided into her hair. “Now – we don’t let trainers use the phone for free anymore, but I make exceptions for you Surf Lifesavers. I really admire the work you people do. How long have you been with them – you look quite young …?”

    “I just started this week,” Lisa said casually, ashamed of how easily the lies were coming. “I really do need to make this call though …”

    “Totally, totally,” Joy muttered. She lifted a cordless handset from beneath the counter and handed it to Lisa. “Take as long as you need, Charmaine, I’ll give you a call when your Altaria’s fighting fit.”

    “Thanks.”

    Lisa grasped the handset and scanned the courtyard for a free seat. Groups of trainers were clustered around wooden table settings, many of them surrounded by hazes of putrid smoke; a safe distance from the fumes, Lisa spotted a free table beside the green hedge that bordered the courtyard and took it hastily.

    She cradled the sleek handset in her palm for a few seconds, trying to work out what to say, and then dialled one of the few numbers that she could remember from the top of her head.

    The line trilled four times before there was an electronic beep and a crisp voice said dully: “You’ve reached the voicemail of Ryan Walters. I’m unavailable at the moment, but if you leave your name and number with a message, I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.”

    Lisa pursed her lips and pressed the red button on the handset. Sighing, she entered a new number and pressed the green ‘dial’ button. There was the sound of background noise and a female voice said, “Hi…”; Lisa’s heart leapt and she cried, “Mum!” before she registered.

    “Hi, this is Maria Walters. I’ve got my hands full right now, but leave a message and I’ll call you back. Ta!”

    Lisa flushed with disappointment; a dreadlocked girl from a nearby table pointed at her and laughed loudly – it seemed she had heard Lisa’s vulnerable exclamation.

    Dialling Tom’s number yielded a similar result: the call simply rang out; apparently he had not yet invested in an answering machine for his mobile.

    Lisa tapped her fingers against the table apprehensively. Surely they couldn’t all be out of range? She waited a few minutes, staring at the handset as though waiting for one of them to call her back, before she frustratedly punched in the last useful number she could remember by heart and pressed the green button.

    The line trilled once, twice, three times … and then, with a click, a breathless voice cried, “OH MY GOD … LISA!”

    Goosebumps popped into being all over Lisa’s body upon hearing the familiar voice: it seemed like an age had passed since they had spoken.

    “Marina … hi.”

    “Oh my God … Lisa … you’re okay? Friggin’ hell, I can’t believe it …”

    Lisa fought to keep her voice neutral and hushed; there were simply too many people around. “I’m alright, relatively speaking,” she nearly whispered. “Listen, I need –”

    “Darius! Darius, it’s Lisa! On my phone!” Marina interjected; her voice sounded slightly further away. Lisa could hear a male voice in the background and battled to stay focused.

    “Marina, listen to me, this is really important. I’ve escaped from the Union and I need the Guard to come and get me.”

    “Oh this is insane …” Marina gasped, apparently on the verge of hyperventilating. “Okay, where are you?”

    “I’m on Red Rock Island, in the pokémon centre –”

    “Red Rock Island?!” Marina exclaimed, as though this fact was of mindblowing significance. “Oh, my God. Sorry, I sound like an idiot. I just can’t believe you’re okay … Where are you exactly?”

    “At the moment, at the pokémon centre, but I’m not safe here,” Lisa hissed. “Listen – where are you? Are my parents there? Or Lance?”

    Lisa could hear Darius murmuring something in the background.

    “Why don’t you go to the police station, you’d be safe there,” said Marina, ostensibly relaying the message from Darius.

    “No, I wouldn’t. It’s a long story. Are Mum and Dad there?”

    “Yes. Yes, everyone’s here. They’ve all come up to the safe house this morning to have one of their meetings.”

    “I need to speak to Lance, if he’s there.”

    “Okay. Alright … I’ll get him,” blustered Marina. “Oh my God …”

    Trying to swallow her sense of urgency, Lisa held the line while Marina ran through the safe house to find Lance, peppering Lisa with questions all the way, which Lisa could only parry with comments like “I can’t say right now” and “I’m not sure”. The longer she sat in the courtyard, the more exposed she felt. This was a very public location, and the policemen that Darren had called down to the beach could well be searching for her already.

    “Charmaine!” Nurse Joy called airily. “Your Altaria is ready!”

    “I’ll be right there!” Lisa called back, without moving the handset.

    The direction of Marina’s fervent questioning promptly changed. “Since when are you called Charmaine?” she asked, her tone somewhere between sarcastic and suspicious.

    “Since using my actual name became too dangerous,” Lisa whispered. “I’ll explain everything when I can, Marina, I promise.”

    “You’d better,” said Marina. “God knows I’m up for a good yarn. You have no idea how boring it’s been, stuck in this hellhole for the past month.”

    “Marina – Lance?”

    “Chill out, Leese, I’m getting there. It’s a big house, you know. They have like, eighty-five rooms, and I’m hardly exaggerating.”

    “Who’s ‘they’?”

    “Oh, the Stones, they’re the people who own this place,” Marina said, panting as she ran. “They’re this old couple and it’s like they’re stuck in the 1930s or something –” Lisa heard a wooden door slam shut through the receiver, and another one creak open. “– and they make us get up at six every morning, and they give us all these chores. Darius gets all the good outdoorsy ones and I get stuck doing the dishes and helping Mrs. Stone put marmalade into jars.”

    Despite her apprehension, Lisa chuckled. The thought of Marina in the kitchen was laughable.

    “Oh, finally,” Marina murmured. When she spoke again, her voice had become loud and urgent. “Excuse me – hi, security guard man – I need to see Lance straight away. I’ve got Lisa Walters on the phone and it’s really, really important!”

    The next few minutes were difficult for Lisa to decipher. She overheard a fairly heated argument, apparently between Marina and a security guard, which culminated in a minute-long, earsplitting screech from Marina which seemed to gain her entry to the meeting. This was followed by a louder argument between several people whose voices Lisa couldn’t distinguish. After several minutes of chaos, however, the sound of a wooden door slamming reverberated down the line and a refined, familiar voice said: “Lisa – it’s Lance. Where are you?”

    Finally.

    “Lance – hi – I’m on Red Rock Island, in the pokémon centre,” Lisa gushed. “I blew Larry’s cover – I’m so sorry, I didn’t have a choice, there was no way out!” Against her will, her eyes overflowed with tears; and the shakes that had struck her on the beach suddenly returned in full measure. Across the courtyard, she heard the dreadlocked girl laugh derisively.

    “It can’t be helped, Lisa,” said Lance, after a short, but significant, silence. “The most important thing is that we got you out. How did you get to Red Rock? Does the Union know you’re there?”

    “The helicopter – um –” Lisa wiped her eyes and tried to clear her thoughts. “Sterling was taking me to the Sepulchre … I had to jump from a helicopter. He chased me and got shot by the coastguard and he backed off, I don’t know if he’s on the island looking for me or not … but the coastguard called the police, and I don’t trust them, so I ran …”

    “Good move,” said Lance sharply. “My sources tell me the police on Red Rock Island are definitely corrupt and under Union influence, which means they will be tracking you down as we speak –”

    “I used a fake name –”

    “Which means nothing, Lisa, if they have your description and Sterling has already raised the alarm. They will have made the connection and will be hunting you down. You need to get out of the pokémon centre right now.”

    Lisa felt her heart begin to hammer; her hands were shaking more violently still.

    “But where will I go?” she implored despairingly. She couldn’t keep the exhaustion from her voice; she wanted to curl up in one of the beanbags and escape into sleep.

    Lance hesitated. “I don’t know Red Rock very well. Just get out of public sight – find a thicket and hide in a bush or something. Yes. That’s your safest bet, just get out of sight until I can send some agents to extract you. Do you know where the Water Colosseum is, Lisa?”

    “Yes.”

    “Midnight tonight, the Guard will meet you at the trainer’s entrance. I’ll send someone you recognise. Stay hidden until they call your name.”

    “O-okay.”

    “But for now, Lisa, get out of there, fast! Good luck!”

    As Lisa was replying with a feeble “thanks”, the monotonic beep through the telephone told her that Lance had already hung up on her.

    “You ‘right, hon?” Nurse Joy asked as Lisa stood at the counter, latching Altaria’s poképort around her neck with difficulty; she was still trembling uncontrollably.

    “Too much coffee,” Lisa tried to smile. “Thanks again for the phone.”

    “No worries, Charmaine,” said Nurse Joy after her. “Peace!”

    As Lisa bolted through the courtyard, past the yoga mat and calypso band and out into the midday sun of the cobbled street, she felt a humourless smile creep over her face.

    People could be so deluded, she thought. There was no such thing as peace.
    Last edited by Gavin Luper; 6th April 2010 at 07:50 AM.
    ...Quest for the Truth of the Legend ...

    Lisa the Legend

    Winner of 12 Silver Pencil Awards 2011 - Including Best Plot, Best Character in a Leading Role, Best Moment and Best Fic of the Forum for Lisa the Legend!

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    Default Re: Lisa the Legend: Chapter 67 now up!!! (06/04/10)

    Hey, when it comes down to it, better that it's done right than done fast. ^^ I think you did the right thing by waiting until you were satisfied with the chapter to post it; after all, you're the one member of your audience that you can never escape. None of us are going to go stand by your bed at night, prodding you and saying, "You can do better."

    Anyway... Abe ogling Lisa was ew, yet for some reason I still also couldn't help but laugh a bit at her little wardrobe malfunction there. XD;

    On a similar note (i.e. the "gross yet funny" note):

    The young man yawned and scratched his crotch unabashedly.
    Oh gee, now that's a lovely detail. X3;

    Pseudoberry-lady was funny, especially given the holycrapsudden entrance she decided to make. Also, "BERRIES!" is a hilarious quote out of context. XD

    You know that dreadlocked girl who kept laughing at Lisa? I totally wanted to throw a shoe at her, even though after like the second time she did that I was starting to hear her as Nelson, which amused me. X3

    It's clear that Lisa is by no means out of the woods yet--I'm certainly liking the level of suspense you've got going on here. ^^ I look forward to seeing what might happen with regards the Guard's planned rescue of her.

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    Default Re: Lisa the Legend: Chapter 67 now up!!! (06/04/10)

    I am crying with happiness.

    No seriously there are tears in my eyes.

    It's taken on a very tomorrow when the war began feel. I am disappointed chapters aren't longer. One day I will print and bind this whole book and read it all again from the start.

    Dude, you need to give Lisa a bra. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT HURTS TO RUN WITHOUT A BRA?!?!?!?!?!?!? It is simple ignorance if Lisa is continually running away and has no support. >=( It makes your writing flawed .

    I'll give some more detail when I'm not rushing to get to work



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    Quote Originally Posted by shazza View Post
    Mt. Moon gives me that similar feeling I used to get when I would wake up first thing in the morning as an 11/12 year old and get excited about browsing TPM.

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    Default Re: Lisa the Legend: Chapter 67 now up!!! (06/04/10)

    Whee, readers!

    Sike Saner: That's a good point, and kind of puts it into perspective for me. The most important thing is how it sits with me. I just wish I hadn't taken so long to fix it all up, but better to do it right, as you said. Thanks for reading again! Hehe. Sorry to have grossed you out (hopefully in an amusing way, right?); the young man is quite a personality, isn't he? ^_^ Hehe, pseudoberries lady cracked me up too. Anyhoo, I shan't spoil what happens in the next chapter, but hopefully I shall see you around for that when it comes (in a few days, I think). Thanks heaps for reading and replying, Sike!

    PancaKe: I'm glad my writing has moved you emotionally! Okay, if you liked that chapter because of the Tomorrow When The War Began feel, then I have a shrewd suspiscion that you are going to love Chapter 68 ... without giving anything away, of course! ^_^ Oh, and your wish will be granted, incidentally ... from memory, the chapters start to get longer pretty soon. Also, thanks for the detail about running without a bra XD. Seriously ... that's something I never would have even thought of, so thanks muchly ... I shall make a mental note to add it in to the detail of the next chapters. (Or ... maybe I'll just get Lisa a bra!) Thanks so much for reading and replying so promptly, you madcap gal!

    The next chapter will be posted shortly, guys! I don't want to rush ahead with 4564545 new chapters within a week for fear of leaving behind any of the closet readers/readers who haven't been able to keep up, so as a general question to all readers, what kind of timeframe is a good one in between new chapters? A few days? A week? A fortnight? Some general feedback would be good so I know what kind of pace suits you guys.

    Thanks again for your continued readership, everyone.

    Cheers!

    - Gavin.
    ...Quest for the Truth of the Legend ...

    Lisa the Legend

    Winner of 12 Silver Pencil Awards 2011 - Including Best Plot, Best Character in a Leading Role, Best Moment and Best Fic of the Forum for Lisa the Legend!

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    Feel free to withdraw at any time, Gavin.

    Quote Originally Posted by DragoKnight View Post
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    Default Re: Lisa the Legend: Chapter 67 now up!!! (06/04/10)

    Post the whole thing right now. I would read it all.
    Although I'm fairly sure I will cry at the end of this book.

    It's such a shame that pokemon is copyright otherwise you could make millions. Don't you wish pokemon was real now? Then you would be the John Marsden and I would be the J K Rowling of the pokemon world? Ahhhhhhh *dreams*

    More indepth stuff...

    I like the way that there is a constant reminder that nobody can be trusted. I think what a lot of people tend to do is have chapters as sort of episodes (and I know I did this with LVH), where I would have one major thing happen, and then characters would continue on as normal. I am glad that no matter the chapter, the same level of tension is held, and the same ideas about peace and safety are held.

    I am missing Gavin though. what happened to him? I forget. Did he just disappear? I want him to come back and marry Lisa.

    I am just a bit concerned about Lisa's personality. I mean... I do find it hard to remember what's distinctive about Lisa and Gavin. Maybe it's just me and I find all protagonists to be similar, but what is Lisa's personality like? I think something that helped me understand who Ellie was was the fact that her conversations with Homer about strength and weaknesses (especially in book 2 and 3) really brought out how others percieved Ellie and how she saw herself. Maybe that's something you could use to help clear up who Lisa actually is... aside from being the heroine?



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    Quote Originally Posted by shazza View Post
    Mt. Moon gives me that similar feeling I used to get when I would wake up first thing in the morning as an 11/12 year old and get excited about browsing TPM.

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    Default Lisa the Legend: Chapter 68 - The Colosseum by Night now up! (2nd May 2010)

    Hullo readers! How are we all?

    Tara: Sorry I took so long to respond. (And no, I cannot wait until we become JK Rowlings and John Marsdens ...)

    Thanks for the comments on tension. Reflecting on this, I agree that this high level of tension persists in most chapters of LTL, but this is starting to take a toll on the characters, as you'll see pretty soon.

    With regards to Gavin ... well, read on!

    Mm, I like that point of view on my characterisation. I've always struggled with that aspect of my writing, and although I think I've improved over the years, it's still something I have to work hard to develop and build upon and make realistic. I think - I feel - that the following chapters and arcs will expand upon both Lisa and Gavin's characters in a number of ways ... Let me know what you think.

    Cheers for the commentary! <3

    Everyone: Okay, so four weeks have passed since I posted the last chapter, which is far too long, so here's Chapter 68!

    I hope you enjoy it!

    Cheers!

    +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+

    Chapter 68 – The Colosseum by Night.


    From beneath the luxuriant foliage of her shrub, Lisa eyed the fingernail moon with mounting disdain. Its enigma taunted her: it had been hanging there, silent and serene, for immeasurable hour upon immeasurable hour, betraying no sign that the thing humans called “midnight” was approaching – or, indeed, that it had already passed.

    It was not until well after she had frantically concealed herself in the thicket of native shrubs that Lisa realised the Union had stolen her watch.

    She squeezed her eyes closed in discomfort as her stomach rumbled for the thousandth time that night. She could not even remember the last proper meal she had eaten. She had amused herself for the past few hours with thoughts of a hot plate of pasta, like her grandmother used to make back in Ecruteak, or even a plain sandwich. She had long since worked the remains of the Union’s muesli bar out of her teeth in desperation.

    She ran her hand along one of the thin, leafy stems that comprised the bush under which she was crouched. There were little red berries clustered at the ends of each swishy branch, enclosed by a floret of maroon leaves. She clasped the nearest floret, peeled it open, and picked half a dozen berries. Her guts growling, she stared blankly at the red berries in her palm for a long moment before inverting her hand and letting the fruits fall onto the soft red dirt below as she extricated herself from the shrub and, feeling unaccountably exhilarated, stood up. Whether it was the fear of missing the midnight rendezvous or merely hunger that made her abandon her hiding position, Lisa wasn’t sure, but she knew she couldn’t take it any longer, trapped in that tiny bush.

    She scanned her environs carefully: the small, suburban park around her, replete with motionless swing sets and a shadowed playground, was devoid of any sign of life. A stream of detached fear mingled with the gnawing hunger in her guts: the Union could easily have spotted her in the town centre earlier and followed her back to the park where she hid. At the same time, though, it seemed impossible for such a danger to exist in such a quiet nook of Red Rock suburbia: across the road from the park, Lisa could see an actual white picket fence at the front of a rickety weatherboard house.

    She hesitated for a moment, contemplating the plastic bag nestled beneath the bush that contained her favourite, and now torn and sodden, Ecruteak Fruitbats jumper, and realised she could not bear to leave it behind. She tied it around her waist purposefully before beginning to retrace her steps back toward the town centre. Once she started moving, the fear of Union intervention seemed to melt away. The cover of dark was welcome; the fact that it was almost a new moon emboldened Lisa all the more as she crept, first from tree trunk to tree trunk and then, as she left the park behind, from telephone pole to telephone pole. She failed to suppress a smile as she passed a house with a television programme blaring loudly from its open front window. Her lips curved once again a few blocks later as she passed a drunk middle-aged couple sitting at a table on their front patio, a couple of empty wine bottles resting on the concrete as they gossipped loudly.

    “That’s what I said, love, I told her not to keep it. She’s only twenty, for God’s sakes, she’s got her whole life ahead of her!” nattered the plump woman as Lisa passed on the opposite side of the street, feigning a casual night-time stroll instead of her earlier creeping, which she realised, in hindsight, must have looked highly suspicious.

    “She’ll come around, love,” soothed the woman’s moustached husband, helping himself to a new bottle of wine. “Refill?”

    There were people in the world whose lives did not revolve around the Union. Lisa found herself morbidly fixated on the thought as she moved further toward the darkened town centre. As sordid as the couple’s discussion was, it was gloriously normal.

    Presently, she reached the street immediately parallel to the island’s cobbled main street. She took cover under a broad-leafed palm and tried to scope out her surrounds. The fact that she had passed no fellow pedestrians on her walk, nor any cars, seemed to suggest that it was indeed quite late in the evening, but it still seemed like a foolish idea to walk boldly down the main street. If the Union was indeed searching for her, walking past the pokémon centre would be tantamount to handing herself in. She gazed over the top of the centre’s thatched roof at the enormous, shadowed form of the Water Colosseum that presided over the town hub. It was unavoidable: she would have to cross the mall to make contact with the Guard.

    Patting the lump of the Buzzball in her pocket and double-checking the silver poképort around her neck, she forced herself to walk at a steady pace from the palm tree to the awning of a fruit and vegetable store across the road. As she approached the shop front, the sounds of distant calypso music jagged her ears: the nearby pokémon centre was still alive with visitors. Abruptly, the terror of being caught by the Union washed over Lisa, an awesome thrill of adrenaline and panic breaking her skin into gooseflesh; woozy, she gripped onto an empty wooden crate to steady herself. All at once, it seemed impossibly stupid to be walking anywhere near the pokémon centre – surely the first place the Union would go to look for her.

    Trembling, she looked back at the palm tree, and the winding street beyond it that led back to the silence and security of the residential area. Something awful crawled over her skin, more unpleasant than goosebumps. It was cowardice, and for the first time in her life it seemed like a better choice than courage.

    Loathing herself, Lisa breathed in deeply and took a step toward the palm tree from whence she had just come – and at that exact moment, a pair of headlights shone directly on the tree’s trunk.

    Such electricity had never coursed through Lisa before in her life. Retracting her foot back into the darkness offered by the awning, she spun round in panic to see a white van, perhaps a hundred metres off, trundling slowly in her direction.

    When she relived the moment ten minutes later, Lisa felt her throat tighten in terror at her recklessness, but in the moment, fear dictated her actions; and fear dictated that the risk of being caught by Union members in that van was circumstantially greater than that of being caught by possibly non-existent Union members in the mall. Lisa bolted: pelting away from the awning of the grocery store, she followed the red brick wall of the next shop as it curved around into a narrow alleyway that led directly to the main street. She did not even attempt subtlety, her sneakers clapping loudly on the cobblestones and her arms flailing around her as she fled the oncoming van; as she approached the mall, the dull throb of the van’s engine was replaced by the cacophonous calypso music pumping from the pokémon centre – which, turning the corner, she realised was only twenty metres away.

    No longer in the van’s line of sight, Lisa allowed herself a brief pause, leaning against a vermilion letter box as she caught her breath. She scanned the main street in both directions: there were no Union patrols, no nearby shouts of recognition. To the west end of the mall, the bamboo pokémon centre was illuminated by multicoloured party lights, and the raucous singing and laughter of a veritable crowd emanated from the enormous open windows over the chaotic calypso drums. There were three or four figures loitering on the front steps, cigarettes or joints aglow in the dark of the street, and Lisa knew they were looking right at her. Adrenaline still flowing, she about-faced and sprinted east along the open-air mall, the dark shape of the colosseum now pressing in from above.

    She racked her brains for memories of the Whirlpool Cup tournament back in November. The trainer’s entrance had been accessible through a promenade that ran off the mall – but where? Lisa scanned the shopfronts as she ran down the street: a patisserie … a pharmacy … a cloistered-off bookshop … Aha! Her eyes fell on the familiar art nouveau signwork of a corner florist’s: Millie’s Flowers and Gifts. Recollections falling into place, Lisa veered off the main street and down the cobbled, tree-lined promenade which wound from the florist’s shop, through a sparse, manicured public garden, right up to the base of the imposing structure of the colosseum.

    It wasn’t until she was shrouded in the darkness of the colosseum’s broad, high-ceilinged terrace that Lisa felt the full weight of what she had just done, but even self-reproach couldn’t fight the adrenaline buzz still playing through her nervous system. Nonetheless, she sharpened her sense of purpose and walked briskly around the terrace, which hugged the entire perimeter of the colosseum, scanning the white marble walls closely. She only had to walk fifteen metres before the dull aqua glow of a digital clock came into, fixed above a mesh-enclosed desk that said ‘Enquiries’.

    Lisa exhaled heavily. The clock’s luminescent letters and numerals read:

    SUN
    30.03.03
    09:47 PM


    Relieved, Lisa strode back along the terrace until she found the trainer’s entrance: a high, rectangular roller-shutter that led to the trainer’s lounge, pre-battle facilities and the battleground itself. There were several small nooks hewn into the marble mouth of the entrance, well out of sight of anyone who might survey the building from a distance. Lisa clambered into one such cranny, sitting herself down quite snugly between two ivory-coloured pillars, and, waiting for her heart to stop hammering, tried to distract herself from the thought of Union agents ambushing her with the memories of Jack the sailor, Anna, Marina and Gavin, and the good times they had had during the Whirlpool Cup.

    *

    The bang came from nowhere. How she could have fallen asleep, Lisa didn’t know – nor for how long – but her eyes, flying open in shock, immediately fell on a black-clothed figure barely two metres in front of her, crouched at the base of the roller shutter.

    She must have made some kind of noise upon waking, because the figure turned his head sharply in her direction; but her fear provoked her battle instinct: she flew into action, wrestling the Buzzball out of the pocket of her jeans and crying hoarsely, “Electrify!

    The male figure before her swore and held his hands out as if to protect him from the attack; the crackling streamer of electricity that exploded from the red Buzzball forked in two, each fork seizing one of the attacker’s arms. He shook for a second before the electric charge broke, and a limp body lay at the foot of the roller shutter.

    There was a second of anticlimactic silence. Then, using her arms as levers, Lisa propelled herself from her nook and swung around to face the agent’s partner: aside from Lucas, the agent who had tracked her from Goldenrod, she had never known Union members to operate alone. However, as she scanned the dark terrace, and then the gardens, she was unable to find the second agent. Surely he or she wouldn’t have fled?

    “Uuuurgh…”

    Lisa spun on the ball of her foot: the man was already stirring. She glanced at the Buzzball, incredulous. She had wondered if it was her own imagination that Joseph Sterling had barely been effected by the electric shock in the helicopter, but it seemed that the Buzzball had, again, only subdued its victim for only five or ten seconds. Nervous, she touched her thumb and forefinger to the silver pendant around her neck and whispered, “Revelum, Altaria.

    A burst of golden radiance moulded itself into the sleek, cobalt-blue form of Altaria. Lisa swiftly appraised the terrace once more – it was still deserted – before spinning back to face the agent, who was now lifting his head.

    “Freeze!” she barked. “Don’t move – or I’ll attack again!”

    The agent regarded her with a lopsided smirk and said, in a heavily slurred voice, “Who the fuck are you?”

    Lisa recoiled. She recognised the young man; he was the one who had pointed her in the right direction at the pokémon centre earlier that afternoon.

    He looked even more wretched now than he had then, his peroxide blond hair visibly matted and his eyes red and sore-looking. His black T-shirt was emblazoned with violent splashes of colour and the name of a well-known punk band.

    “Stands to reason,” Lisa spat. “I should’ve known you were with the Union, bumping into me like that today. What’d you do, follow me all the way to the park and back?”

    The young man – who didn’t look much older than her – rubbed his eyes with his knuckles and surveyed her again, his bloodshot eyes scanning the length of her body, before he burst into a spate of nervous giggling.

    “And I thought I got fucked up tonight … What the hell’ve you been smokin’?”
    Lisa blinked.

    “Nothing…”

    The young man burst into a fit of giggles again and, looking away from Lisa, returned to fiddling with a latch at the base of the roller-shutter, completely indifferent.

    Altaria craned its head at Lisa, apparently in confusion. Lisa returned the look.

    “I don’t know what you’re playing at,” she said, trying not to sound unnerved as the youth turned a key in the latch and removed the padlock. “But you’re not to make another move – I mean it – stop whatever you’re doing …”

    Turning her head, Lisa inspected the terrace and gardens once again – if the Union were expecting her to let her guard down, this would be the perfect time for them to launch an attack – but still, the grounds were entirely deserted.

    The teenager rose to his feet, pulling the roller shutter up with a tremendous clatter which echoed out into the night.

    He turned to face Lisa squarely. “Wanna come in? I’ve got beer.”

    She blinked incredulously again.

    “I don’t know what you’re doing, but you need to stop now,” she spluttered again, breaking eye contact with the young man to rapidly scan the grounds for a third time, but there was still no sign of an ambush.

    The teenager raised a black eyebrow toward his platinum-blond hairline.

    “I got a friend who gets real paranoid when she’s been smokin’ shit,” he said. “It’s cool. Just chill out – and join me inside when you’re on the comedown, orright?”

    And, delivering a nonchalant wink, he strode baldly beneath the roller shutter and into the dark trainer’s lounge beyond, leaving Lisa, gaping, in his wake.

    *

    Beneath the same fingernail moon, on the rocky east shore of Cianwood Island, a hooded figure stood at the haphazardly-hewn door of an old seaside hut and knocked three times.

    After five minutes, there was no response. He had second and third-guessed himself: could his knock be heard over the roar of the night trade winds and the nearby hiss of breakers slamming into the shore?

    Shivering beneath his heavy grey jumper, he raised his hand to knock again; and at that moment, he saw, through the grubby window, a flare of green light within the hut, and heard, within the bounds of his own head, a raspy voice speak:

    //Knocking is quite an insult to me, you know, boy.//

    The hooded figure leapt back from the door, as if forewarned; a second later, it burst open, swinging back on its hinges and slamming against the wall.

    “I’m sorry –” began the hooded figure.

    //You have sought me so assiduously for so long, and at the final obstacle, you bother with a pleasantry such as knocking on my door? I am disappointed. You shouldn’t think for a second that you would have been able to find me if I did not wish you to.//

    The luminescent green aura emanating from within the hut dulled before changing to a deep violet. From the doorway, the hooded figure could see a gnarled hand beckon him to enter.

    //Come in, then, and find out everything you ever wanted to know about yourself...//

    Heart pounding, Gavin Luper removed his hood and entered the hut.

    *

    Lisa’s back was pressed firmly against a marble pillar, her honey-brown eyes flicking routinely from side-to-side, sweeping the Colosseum’s Romanesque colonnade.

    “It’s too freaky,” Lisa muttered under her breath to Altaria, who was perched obediently at her feet, still expecting some kind of confrontation. “An innocent bystander randomly showing up in the place where I’m supposed to meet the Guard?” She gritted her teeth. “I don’t think so.”

    But the facts didn’t register with her paranoia. What kind of Union agent wouldn’t recognise her, and would actually walk away from an encounter with her? Moreover, how many Union agents looked as though they were seventeen years old?

    There was a quiet clink from somewhere nearby. Lisa started; a moment later, she saw a bottle cap roll out from the trainer’s entrance, followed presently by the blond teenager, who seemed to have stuck his face under a tap and who now had two brown bottles of beer dangling from each hand.

    “Want one?”

    “No.”

    The teenager shrugged indifferently and leaned against the pillar nearest him.

    “Not a beer girl, then?”

    “No,” said Lisa. “I’m also fifteen.”

    The teenager cough-laughed and took a swig from his stubby.

    “Maybe I got you pegged wrong,” he mumbled. “You’ll get high but you’re too much of a princess to drink beer?”

    “High?” Lisa exclaimed. “I don’t do that – what made you think that?”

    He regarded her at length, but said nothing at all and took another swig of beer, leaving Lisa’s question to hang limply in the air.

    “Look – what are you playing at?” Lisa said finally, her nerves getting the better of her. “What are you up to hanging around here at this time of night?”

    The teenager guffawed.

    “I could ask you the same question!” he scoffed. “Actually, I think I’ve got more of a right to be here than you do!” He reached into his pocket and produced a small set of keys, which he swung around on his index finger casually. “I work here part-time and I’ve got the morning shift. Sometimes I crash here if I’ve had a big night, if that’s okay with you.” He pocketed the keys and took up his bottle once more. “So, you gonna give me an excuse not to call the cops on you?”

    They’re corrupt and out to get me.

    “I’m not doing anything illegal …” Lisa said quickly.

    “I’m pretty sure you attacked me,” said the teenager calmly, though he seemed supremely unfazed by this fact.

    “I thought you were going to attack me. It was self-defence.”

    “Self-defence my arse!” he cried. “I wasn’t anywhere near you!”

    Lisa sighed heavily, still pressing her back firmly against the pillar. There was nothing more comforting than feeling something solid against her back when she was unnerved.

    “You don’t know what I’ve been though,” she said eventually, a wry bitterness creeping into her voice, partly against her will. “People don’t need to be close to you to attack you, you know. Have you heard of guns?”

    To her surprise, the blond teenager simply chuckled at her pronouncement.

    “Has anyone ever called you a drama queen?” he asked. “Because you know, if they did, they’d be totally off-base.”

    He dissolved into a fit of guffaws.

    “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Lisa snarled, prickling.

    He shrugged. “If you think there’s anyone out there who wants to shoot you, I’d say you’ve been paying too much attention to the mainstream media,” he said, his words slightly slurred. “The way they talk on the news, Jesus Christ! You’d think the Union were walking around the streets gunning little kids down on their way to school.”

    Lisa clenched her teeth.

    “The Union ambushed Redwood Hospital yesterday,” she said in the most measured voice she could manage. “The danger’s real.”

    The teenager laughed again, tilting his head and knocking back the last of his beer in one smooth motion before starting work on the second one.

    “No shit, that’s seriously what you’re worried about? Fuck me, what is the world coming to?”

    “Joseph Sterling is a dangerous man.”

    The teenager threw up a hand in mock-surrender.

    “I’m not denying that. Fuck, everyone knows he’s a psycho. But the bullshit that the media’s stirred up …” His voice became impassioned suddenly, almost aggressive. “They print bullshit headlines that make ignorant kids like you actually believe that the Union is after them directly. Seriously, is there anything more ridiculous?”

    Lisa bit her tongue.

    “Okay, look, I’m sorry if you really believe you’re in danger, okay? It’s just that, once you see through the media paranoia, you realise this whole ‘gang war’ thing is just a construction, you know? They’re trying to create a state of mass hysteria but the fact is most people are safe as houses.”

    It was at that point that something snapped in Lisa’s head: the restraint she had exercised over her frazzled emotions broke, and before she knew it, she had lunged forward, pointing an indignant finger at the teenager and screaming at him to shut his mouth; and in the same instant, a beam of brilliant vermilion light exploded into being somewhere in the grounds. Lisa had not even turned when it struck: a column of flames ploughed into the wall of the Colosseum, sending out an explosion of marble dust as the wall crumbled; a massive wave of intense heat emanated from the attack, the force of which was so great that she was thrown roughly to the concrete floor, smashing the side of her head.

    For a few seconds, the world was fire and smoke: fighting to keep her eyes open against the heat and airborne dust, not to mention the splitting pain in her skull, Lisa saw Altaria struggling to remain upright, the previously creamy fur on its front and wings now encrusted with embers and charred a hideous black. The pokémon released a melodic coloratura before, stumbling clumsily, it emitted an Aurora Beam from its mouth and collapsed to the ground, motionless.

    The rainbow-coloured beam arced uselessly into the ceiling, slicing a sharp shard of marble from it, which fell barely a metre from Altaria’s head.

    Retrahere, Altaria!!” Lisa screamed, touching her necklace.

    Vaguely aware of a golden globule of light returning Altaria to safety, she leapt to her feet, hunting for the blond-haired boy. No sooner had her eyes landed on his spread-eagled form on the ground than she saw another explosion of light rapidly approaching; with an involuntary scream, she dove for the cement as a jet of ice-blue light whizzed over her …

    “What the fuck is going on?!” whimpered the blond boy from somewhere very close; Lisa uncovered her face to see that she had landed right beside him on the floor. His face was deathly pallid: the sneer that had been on his face before was long gone, replaced by genuine terror.

    “Just media paranoia!” she gasped breathlessly, wishing she could have savoured the moment more. “Come on, we need to get inside …”

    The boy nodded blankly. Lisa looked up and peered through the plumes of white smoke that were suffocating the terrace: the trainer’s entrance was directly in front of them … if they could get the shutter closed, she might be able to buy some time …

    “Crawl on your stomach!” Lisa shouted in the boy’s ear.

    Side-by-side, arms grazed by the cement, they commando-crawled the couple of metres to the roller-shutter. Lisa could hear voices shouting to one another in the grounds; just as she reached the other side of the roller shutter, there was another explosion of marble dust as a new attack pounded the colosseum’s walls.

    “Close it!” she cried, as the blond boy joined her in the darkness of the trainer’s entrance.

    He leapt to his feet and grabbed the bottom of the roller shutter, pulling it down with a clatter. When the shutter was perhaps three feet from the ground, an azure beam of light zipped beneath it and slammed, with a muted crunch like a snowball, into the boy’s knee.

    “Aaaaargh!”

    He collapsed to the ground, his arms flailing in the air; at the same moment, the shutter slammed shut, plunging them into darkness.

    “Lock it!” Lisa screamed. “Illuminate!

    The Buzzball flared to life in her hand, a golden globule of light erupting out of nowhere to orbit around the red ball, casting long shadows on the trainer’s entrance.

    The boy was still doubled over on the floor.

    “It’s burning, FUCK, it’s burning!”

    Lisa held the Buzzball out toward his knee; his jeans had been ripped open by the force of the attack that struck them; his knee was now encased in a ring of ice.

    “It’s just an Ice Beam, you’ll be OK!” Lisa cried. “You need to lock this door NOW or we’re stuffed!”

    Grimacing, he thumbed through his key ring until he found a yellow-ringed key and jabbed it into the padlock on the inside of the shutter. No sooner had Lisa breathed a sigh of relief than she heard a male voice on the other side of the roller door shout, “Fire Blast again, Blaziken! Melt it down!”

    Lisa’s eyes locked with the boy’s.

    “Get away from the door!” she cried. He looked bewildered, utterly incapable of movement, one hand still on his knee.

    Lisa grabbed his hand and yanked it in her direction. Abruptly, a wave of heat began to emanate from the other side of the shutter; the acrid smell of burning paint reached Lisa’s nostrils and made her want to throw up.

    “Let’s GO!” she roared again.

    Perhaps the pungent odour brought the boy to his senses: he allowed Lisa to pull him up to a standing position and together, they began to run further into the darkened trainer’s lounge.

    “Please tell me there’s an easy way out from here,” Lisa muttered as they jogged down the marble-walled hallway, Buzzball lighting their way.

    “There’s – yeah,” muttered the boy distractedly, hobbling slightly and glancing constantly at his frozen knee.

    “Well – which way?!” Lisa screeched as they reached the circular trainer’s lounge, with its four exits. Further back, she could hear the shouts of humans and the exultant roar of a Blaziken.

    “Straight ahead!” cried the boy. “We can exit onto the battlefield and get out that way!”

    Pelting beside him through the lounge and into another marble tunnel, Lisa shivered.

    “How are you planning to get out from there? Do you have any flying pokémon?”

    He made an odd noise, as though there was something sharp stuck in his throat.

    “I don’t train pokémon,” he muttered hoarsely. “It always seemed so – uh – lame…”

    Lisa’s intestines turned to ice. “Well, does it seem lame now?” she snapped impulsively, before regaining her composure. “What’s your plan, then?”

    They had reached an intersection in the tunnel: they could either continue straight ahead or take a right or left turn into the circular passage that ran the perimeter of the battlefield; Lisa realised they must be directly underneath it.

    “The repository!” the boy cried suddenly.

    “What?”

    “We have a storeroom of pokémon that some regular trainers keep here – we can use one of them!”

    He took a left turn into the circular tunnel, with Lisa running in hot pursuit. Her heart was pounding in her chest: ahead of her, the boy was swearing profusely under his breath. Presently, they reached a green door with the word “REPOSITORY” inscribed on a metal plaque affixed to the door. The boy placed his finger on a scanner (“I am so fucking fired, dude!”) and pulled the door open.

    A medium-sized storeroom lay beyond, lined with shelves and cabinets. Several Ultra Balls reposed in glass cases on the far side of the room. The boy pelted across to an olive-green filing cabinet and began to hunt around in one of the drawers.

    “We need a flying-type or something!” Lisa implored.

    “Got it!”

    “Already?!”

    The boy turned around to face her: he cradled half a dozen pokéballs in his T-shirt.

    “Yeah – trust me – let’s go!”

    Lisa didn’t bother questioning him: racing from the room, they pelted further down the tunnel. There were other voices echoing through the tunnels: a man was shouting out for back up; another was ordering a Radar Eye technique.

    “Here!” gasped the boy, reaching a small enclave in the side of the tunnel. Lisa recognised it at once: it was a sleek metal elevator that took trainers up to the battlefield. She had used it several times during the Whirlpool Cup battles. The elevators were only designed for one trainer, but she didn’t idle: she squeezed herself in against the boy’s body, feeling the pokéballs pressing against her back painfully.

    The curved elevator door slid closed with a sleek hiss. Trying to think of anything but the lift at Redwood Hospital, Lisa shut her eyes and felt the slight nausea that always seemed to accompany the rapid ascent of elevators. Behind her, she could hear the boy still muttering the occasional swear word.

    The elevator stopped moving; the curved door retracted with another hiss and Lisa and the boy spilled out onto the trainer’s box of the Water Colosseum.

    There was just a second of disbelief for Lisa: the fingernail moon was reflected serenely in the sparse pool of water that made up the battlefield; the night air here was still and crisp; the stands were devoid of human life; water lapped gently against the edge of the trainer’s box. Nothing betrayed the fact that they were under siege.

    The blond-haired boy shuffled the pokéballs in his T-shirt.

    “You’ll need to grab it,” he said urgently. “It’s the Great Ball I think.”

    Lisa shone the Buzzball over the collection of balls in the makeshift bag of the boy’s T-shirt, located the blue-and-white one and, prising it open in her hand, said, “Please God, let it be a flying-type!”

    There was a burst of radiant energy; the full, regal form of a cream-bodied Pidgeot emerged beside them on the podium.

    Tears of relief streaked down Lisa’s face as she clung beside the blond-haired boy on the giant bird’s back and, with a powerful flap, the winged pokémon took flight, soaring up and out of the colosseum and into the freedom of the midnight air.
    Last edited by Gavin Luper; 2nd May 2010 at 05:19 AM.
    ...Quest for the Truth of the Legend ...

    Lisa the Legend

    Winner of 12 Silver Pencil Awards 2011 - Including Best Plot, Best Character in a Leading Role, Best Moment and Best Fic of the Forum for Lisa the Legend!

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    Default Re: Lisa the Legend: Chapter 68 - The Colosseum by Night. (Posted 2nd May 2010)

    You know, I wondered if Lisa would wind up "defending" herself against someone who actually wasn't a threat, being as on-edge as she was there. Looks like I might have found out the answer to that one... X3

    When the attack on the colosseum started, that was rather the HSM there. o_o I also liked that it led to this:

    “What the fuck is going on?!” whimpered the blond boy from somewhere very close; Lisa uncovered her face to see that she had landed right beside him on the floor. His face was deathly pallid: the sneer that had been on his face before was long gone, replaced by genuine terror.

    “Just media paranoia!” she gasped breathlessly, wishing she could have savoured the moment more.
    Oh, don't worry, Lisa. I think I'm enjoying it enough for the both of us. X3


    And Gavin's scene was certainly quite interesting... o.o

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    Default Re: Lisa the Legend: Chapter 68 - The Colosseum by Night. (Posted 2nd May 2010)

    FINALLY have enough breathing time to read this.

    Ok. Totally loved it. Nothing happened until the very end of the chapter, which brought a silent suspense over my heart. I was pounding as she ran through what seemed like safe streets. It was maginificently written. Her character has formed to be somewhat paranoid, which suits the situation fine. I think its more than necessary for her to be paranoid.

    I'm not so sure about the ending though. I feel like what you've done for the last few chapters is had this suspenceful beginning, then a big event and then a quick end to the chapter. Perhaps the battle at the colosseum could have been drawn out more, perhaps more could have happened... i just felt like it ended too suddenly.

    moar moar moar plox



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    Default Re: Lisa the Legend: Chapter 68 - The Colosseum by Night. (Posted 2nd May 2010)

    G'day readers,

    Okay, it's been a long time, I know, so I have to say a huge thank you to all my readers for your unwavering patience and commitment to Lisa's unfolding story: it will be, I hope, rewarded in due course.

    Firstly, I did address my extended absence in some detail in Smiley Town, but I feel like I owe my LTL readers - as distinct from all other fanficcers - a more specific apology, so, I have to say I'm sorry for leaving you all in the lurch for the last few months. Though I have checked TPM regularly, I have scarcely posted or contributed since May, and I'm sorry about that. My absence can be explained by a combination of my job, my relationship and new villa with my partner, and also - more specifically - by a convalescent period of giving up a problematic addiction to alcohol and going sober to basically grow up and deal with my issues. (Five months sober now, and counting!)

    Now that we've got that out of the way, I'll get on with responding to your replies from May.

    Sike: Indeed, Lisa's mental state was pretty paranoid at that point, so it's no wonder she was quite so trigger happy. I think the result was quite amusing, as well as realistic, I hope. I'm glad you enjoyed the HSM and yeah, I chuckled to myself when I wrote that line, it was ridiculously satisfying. As for Gavin's scene, it will come into play, but not for quite some time yet ... Thanks for reading so loyally as you always do, and I hope you enjoy the upcoming chapters ... I think there will be quite a few HSMs ahead, and not in the usual style, either. Cheers!

    Tara: Yay, I'm stoked that the mood of the chapter had such a strong impact on you. I think it was much more frightening when Lisa is sneaking around the streets of Red Rock as opposed to actually being confronted with the Union. The threat is always more frightening than the actual agent posing the threat, it seems - at least in writing. And thanks for your feedback about the general shape of the chapters and the way they end. It's something that I think changes a lot over the next five or so chapters ... but I'd love your feedback on whether or not it actually does differ from the present structure or not. Thanks as always for reading, and I hope you'll have enough breathing space to read the next instalments!

    Guys, chapter 69 has been written for ages, but there are a couple of sentences (seriously, that's all) that need to be rewritten before I post it. I'm going to work on it tonight (I'm currently absorbed with the current new chapter I'm writing) and so it will hopefully be up very shortly.

    Thanks again everyone for sticking around.

    Cheers!

    - Gavin.
    ...Quest for the Truth of the Legend ...

    Lisa the Legend

    Winner of 12 Silver Pencil Awards 2011 - Including Best Plot, Best Character in a Leading Role, Best Moment and Best Fic of the Forum for Lisa the Legend!

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    Default Re: Lisa the Legend: Chapter 68 - The Colosseum by Night. (Posted 2nd May 2010)

    So as it turns out, I worked on the new chapter instead of this one last weekend! But I've fixed up the things that were bothering me about this chapter this afternoon, so - here it is! A short and sweet chapter, but a pivotal one, I think.

    Bonus points to the reader who can guess the real-life TV show where the quotation on the poster comes from!

    Cheers!

    +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+

    Chapter 69 – The Awakening.


    A chink of sunlight found its way onto Lisa’s face, warming her cheek.

    She stirred and opened her eyes. At once, her eyes fell upon a loud poster affixed to a brick wall barely two inches from her face. Dimly aware of a dull pain on the right side of her face, she wriggled back from the wall slightly to examine the poster. On a lurid yellow background, heavy black text proclaimed:

    SO YOU’RE JUST GONNA ROLL OVER AND GIVE UP LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO? OR ARE YOU FINALLY GONNA GET MAD AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT?

    Lisa rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and reread the poster.

    Abruptly, a voice very close to her ear said, “It’s from a TV show I like.”

    Without meaning to, Lisa let out a shocked yelp. Swivelling around, her eyes fell onto a teenager with bleached-blond hair sprawled in the bed beside her, naked except for a pair of satin boxer shorts emblazoned with the logo of a beer brand.

    “Ohhhh…”

    She clutched her hands to her head and rolled back to face the wall, as though turning away would somehow make the young man disappear. Her momentary peace lasted all of three seconds.

    “You feelin okay?” asked the boy. “You hit your head pretty bad when we landed.”

    Lisa gritted her teeth against the throbbing in the right side of her face. “No, I’m fine,” she said brusquely. Memories of a bird screeching as the ground spiralled closer were spiralling in her mind. “What happened to the Pidgeot?”

    “Dunno,” the boy said, too indifferently for Lisa’s liking. “Those people didn’t chase us, but I think they shot something at us. Maybe the bird copped a bullet in the wing.”

    Her face still averted, Lisa scowled. She peeped out through her fingers at her body: she was still dressed in the red-and-yellow Surf Life Saver shirt and damp jeans (the sheets of the double bed were visibly dampened), with her old jumper thrown over her as a makeshift blanket. She shifted and glanced around the room, vaguely recalling stumbling into it the night before: there was a distinct lack of furniture – only the bed on which she lay and a bland wooden sideboard – and the carpet was a dull cream colour. The haphazard collection of various posters on the face-brick walls, however, made it clear that the room belonged to a teenage boy: the number of punk band posters was dwarfed only by the number of near-nude female pin-ups.

    She rolled back to face the boy, who was now laying flat on his back, regarding one of the naked pin-ups with mild interest.

    “We’re at your house, then?”

    The boy sniffed and absent-mindedly scratched his hairless chest.

    “No, I told you last night …” He looked at Lisa with a raised eyebrow. “How hard did you hit your head? Anyway … no, it’s my mum’s place. Well, actually, my ex-mum’s place.”

    “Your what?”

    “Long story. I don’t call her my mother anymore.”

    Lisa felt her contempt toward the boy augment.

    “That’s ridiculous.”

    “That’s reality,” snarled the boy, looking at Lisa with affront.

    Lisa perched herself on her elbow and examined the boy’s stubborn expression. “What could she possibly have done to deserve that?”

    “None of your business,” the boy shrugged, unabashedly scratching his crotch.

    Lisa rolled onto her back and gazed blankly at the patterned white cornice. “So you’ve written her off completely, and yet you still live in the same house?”

    “Who are you, Judge Judy? I don’t live here anymore. FYI, I only came here last night because the Pidgeot fell about a block from here.” He coughed and slid out of bed. “I’m getting food.”

    Without a second look back at her, he left the room, slamming the door in his wake.

    Lisa cast her eye over the unmade double bed, a gnawing anxiety in the pit of her stomach. She had only ever slept beside one other boy – Gavin – and they had never been so close as to share the same sheets. In any case, she was comfortable with Gavin; this boy, on the other hand, was a stranger – a repulsive one, at that – and he had not even been so chivalrous to sleep elsewhere but rather, had thrown Lisa into his own bed. She shuddered. She knew nothing could have happened, but she felt inexplicably guilty at having spent the night there, like she had broken some cardinal rule of purity. She glanced at the black, orange and white logo of the Ecruteak Fruitbats jumper her father had given her and felt slightly nauseous. The thought of what Dad would say about where she had spent the night was downright terrifying, yet at the same time, Lisa felt suddenly empowered, as though by inadvertently breaking her parents’ rules she had somehow, all at once, grown up.

    She returned to gazing up at the cornice and trying to gather her frazzled thoughts. It was odd to find that she was not surprised by the Union’s ambush at the Colosseum: indeed, even at the time, she had practically been anticipating it. The Union’s doggedness was quickly becoming nothing more than a horrible fact of life.

    Had the Guard members ever made it to the Colosseum? Would they have arrived at midnight, as planned, to find the trainer’s entrance destroyed by fire? Would they assume the worst?

    Lisa’s heart leapt; her eyes scanned the room until they landed on a black-and-white analogue clock resting on the sideboard: it was only seven-thirty. Could the Guard members still be on Red Rock Island? Perhaps, if she could make contact again, they might still be able to extract her to the safety of the Guard’s care?

    As her brain played over the possibility, she found her eyes drawn to the bold poster by the bed once more.

    The door creaked as it swung back open. Still half-naked, the blond-haired boy walked in carrying a wooden tray with two bowls perched atop it.

    “Corn flakes,” he said shortly, placing the tray on the sideboard. “All we’ve got.”

    “Oh – thank you,” Lisa spluttered, genuinely thrown. She had not expected the boy to have any regard for her. Sitting up and crossing her legs, she took the bowl and began to satisfy her aching stomach.

    The boy sat down beside her and began to munch at his own breakfast, though with far less vigour than she.

    “Go easy,” he said, in the closest thing to an amused tone Lisa had heard from him yet.

    Lisa swallowed down her fourth mouthful and wiped a drop of milk off her cheek.

    “I haven’t eaten anything in a day,” she explained thickly.

    The boy raised an eyebrow.

    “Well, you’re not overweight, you know,” he said, apparently nonplussed. “You don’t need to starve yourself.”

    Lisa laughed.

    “It wasn’t voluntary.”

    She shovelled another spoonful of soggy corn flakes into her mouth and ate gratefully. After a few minutes of silence, punctuated only by the sound of chewing and the clinking of the metal spoons on bowls, the boy spoke up.

    “So … what the fuck happened last night?”

    Lisa lifted the bowl up to her mouth to drain some of the milk away; she was several exhausting days past giving any consideration to decorum.

    “Well, that ‘media paranoia’ you spoke of tried to kill us,” she said dryly, evoking the most deadpan voice she could manage. “Actually, they were only trying to capture me. But I’d bet everything I have that they’d’ve killed you on the spot.”

    The boy’s black eyebrow rose again toward his bleached-blond hairline.

    “You act tough, it’s cute,” he said, smirking.

    Lisa felt a balloon of indignation pop within her chest.

    “You’re hardly one to talk!” she shot back. “Who did I have to drag along behind me last night because he copped a piddly Ice Beam to the leg? ‘It’s burning, it’s burning’!” She laughed, partly out of mirth but mostly out of derision.

    “That was serious!” the boy cried, jabbing a finger in the direction of his knee. There was a faint pink ring around it, residue of the ice burn.

    “No,” Lisa said. “This is serious.”

    She reached over to the neck of her shirt and pulled it down, exposing her bare shoulder blade and the ugly purple scar that still covered part of it.

    “Duuuuude … what is that?”

    “That’s where the Union shot me a month ago,” Lisa replied coolly, readjusting her shirt. “Don’t call me cute,” she added scathingly.

    The boy’s eyes had widened: he looked both shocked and deeply impressed.

    “So why did they attack us last night?”

    Lisa scooped the dregs of her cereal into the spoon. “I’d need about a whole day to actually explain the whole thing to you, to be honest,” she said. “The short version is, they need me more than just about anything, and I keep getting away from them.”

    The boy’s mouth was hanging slightly open.

    “Come on, you can’t just leave it at that …”

    Lisa beamed at him. “Can I use your phone?”

    A devious expression stole over the boy’s pale face.

    “No. Not until you tell me about the Union,” he grinned exultantly.

    Lisa sighed.

    “Come on, you had that coming!” the boy cried. “Besides … this is hardcore, dude! Come on, I wanna know how you got mixed up in this!”

    “If I tell you, do you promise to let me use your phone straight away?”

    “Totally. I promise.”

    Lisa scratched her head, silently making up her mind.

    “Right,” she said eventually, “Pay attention, then.”

    The little hand on the clock had moved around to the number eight by the time Lisa had finished running the boy through her (much abbreviated) story. His eyes seemed to have bulged further and further out of his head with each twist and turn; at times, there was a wry smirk on his face that suggested he did not believe a word she was telling him, and at other times, his mouth was slack with genuine astonishment.

    “And so that’s where our paths crossed,” Lisa finished. “I was meant to be meeting some Guard members at the trainer’s entrance. When I saw you there, I assumed you were a Union agent, that’s why I attacked you. Sorry about that.”

    The boy blinked dismissively.

    “Well, that’s … a lot to take in,” he managed at length. “It’d be a lot easier to believe if I was wasted …”

    Lisa rolled her eyes, and made no attempt to hide the action.

    “If you think I made all that up –”

    “Nah, nah, I believe ya dude!” he cried hastily. “It’s just – a bit out there, you know?”

    Lisa shrugged. “Mm, I can imagine. Anyway, now you know what you wanted to know.”

    The boy nodded seriously; for the first time, he had a look of mild intelligence on his face, as though he was formulating some kind of theorem.

    “Can I use your phone, then?” Lisa pressed.

    The boy nodded again, and moved over to the other side of the room, where a mountain of dirty jeans and black band T-shirts nearly reached the height of the window. “My mobile’s in my pocket somewhere … gimme a sec …” he grunted. “So you’re calling the Guard?”

    “Yeah,” Lisa said. “I’ll try my parents again, and if I can’t get onto them, I’ll call Marina.”

    “That’s the chick that goes with Raikou, yeah?”

    Lisa stifled a half-laugh. “Yeah, that’s her.”

    “Right …” he trailed off, hunting in the pockets of a pair of jeans with white spray paint splattered over them. He stood up rigidly suddenly and looked at Lisa with a bemused expression on his face.

    “Can I just get this straight? You’ve been attacked, like, how many times now?”

    “Pretty sure I’ve lost count,” said Lisa blankly.

    “But they’re attackin’ ya because you can open Suicune’s Chamber of Secrets?”

    “Sepulchre,” corrected Lisa.

    “Yeah, whatever dude. But that’s the reason they need ya?”

    “Yes …” Lisa said slowly. There was a dogged clarity in his tone that unnerved her, because she had no idea where he was going with this. “What’s your point?”

    “Ah, nothin’,” he muttered indifferently, finally producing a grubby white mobile phone from the pocket of a pair of shredded jeans. “There ya go – make yer call, don’t take too long though ‘cause I don’t have much credit left.”

    Lisa took the phone in the palm of her hand but didn’t dial.

    “Come on,” she said presently. “What was your point? Where were you going with that?”

    He sat back down on the edge of the bed. “I woulda thought that’d be obvious, dude.”

    “Well it’s not!” snapped Lisa impatiently; among other things, the fact that he continually referred to her as ‘dude’ was rapidly growing tiresome. “What are you saying?”

    The boy began to pick nonchalantly at his big toenail. “Well, I just reckon … if it was me … I’d just go to the Chamber of Secrets myself and get the fucken key thing once and for all and just – get rid of it. Destroy it. Give it to the Guard. Whatever. But once the key’s outta there, your value’s gone right? The Union wouldn’t need you anymore; they’d go after the Guard instead.” He stopped dead at Lisa’s gawking expression. “Is it just me or does that totally make sense?”

    Lisa felt nerves prickling at the back of her cerebellum.

    “I don’t think it’s just you,” she said, her arm falling limply by her side. “But – I don’t know where the Sepulchre is.”

    “Well, who does?”

    “The Union, obviously. And – oh!”

    Lisa clapped a hand to her mouth in sudden comprehension. The memory of the topographical chart in Larry’s office at the Union’s headquarters had swum back to the surface of her mind. Electrified, she remembered the royal-blue pin stuck into the map. There was no way to be certain – but maybe …

    Lisa’s heart began to pound in excitement. Looking vaguely nonplussed, the boy raised an eyebrow and kicked a black jumper over to join the pile of dirty laundry. “Right … well … I’ll be out on the patio when you’re done,” he said, gesturing to the phone. “Come join … we’ve got a good view of town.” He left.

    *

    For some time, Lisa Walters sat on the bed of the stranger whose name she still hadn’t asked for. The grubby white phone was warm in her hand, but she was rapidly losing the desire to use it. Her mind was bubbling with new possibilities, new choices – choices she had never even realised she had …

    If I entered the Sepulchre of Suicune without anyone knowing … If I could get the fragment of the key on my own terms …

    She recalled her father’s words in the makeshift hospital ward at the Fairfax Inn:

    “ The Union wants to break into the shrine. To succeed they’re going to need all seven keys. But what we want to do is protect the shrine, prevent the Union getting in. And to do that we need only to deprive the Union of one single key, one single fragment, even, to succeed.”

    Lisa’s heart seemed to be climbing into her throat.

    My fragment.

    Her mind was darting wildly from one thought to the other: it was as though a beam of light were bouncing hysterically off the inside of her skull.

    The Union was everywhere. The Guard had been compromised. The authorities had long since been corrupted.

    MY fragment.

    The comprehension came thick and fast. The Safe House – the Guard’s plans for her … it wasn’t the only way. All of a sudden, she had something she had never realised she had before: the power to make a choice.

    I don’t have to be a pawn anymore.

    Lisa stared at the face brick walls of the depressingly small bedroom, her mind processing the enormity of her newfound clarity. Barely aware of what she was doing – and yet keenly focused at the same time – she had taken her black jumper and spread it out over her lap. The orange logo of the Ecruteak Fruitbats was still visible, despite the large hole that had been rent in it by Sterling’s Murkron’s attack. Lisa ran her fingers over the damp jumper, tracing each letter of the logo as though she were in a trance. She remembered lazy Sunday afternoons clustered around the television family room watching the game and cold winter nights when she had huddled beneath the bulky warmth of the thick fabric. She ran her fingers up to the edge of the hole that Murkron’s attack had made and pulled at the fabric – gently, gently – until, slowly, it began to tear further. The black fibres of cotton were rent apart as Lisa gripped one hand on either side of the jumper and pulled harder. There was a neat, almost zip-like sound as she tore through the middle of the orange logo, and further still, past where her belly-button would be, until, with the crisp snap of the last, stubborn, stringy thread, the jumper was torn completely open, exposing its innards.

    Lisa breathed in slowly, her skin breaking into goosebumps, and realised that she had to move before she fatally second-guessed herself.

    She stood up abruptly, the shredded jumper tumbling to her feet. Her eyes fell on the lurid yellow-and-black poster by the bed:

    SO YOU’RE JUST GONNA ROLL OVER AND GIVE UP LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO? OR ARE YOU FINALLY GONNA GET MAD AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT?

    She kicked the jumper off her foot with a loud cry, jettisoning it into the pile of dirty clothes across the room; her heart pounding, she pulled the Surf Life Saver shirt from her body and hurled it with an aggressive “argh!” at the same pile before stripping off her sodden jeans and lobbing them into the mess too. She sifted through the pile, extracted the most shredded-looking pair of jeans she could find and pulled them on. They weren’t a perfect fit, but they would hold up. She then hunted through the top of the pile and found a ridiculously oversized black T-shirt emblazoned with the image of a white skull and neon green writing that proclaimed “The Decay”. A savage grin emerging on her face, she threw it over her body, immediately aware that she smelled like pungent day-old smoke, but she had never cared less.

    Throwing the bedroom door open, she wheeled into the dingy hallway. After stepping into a couple of unused spare rooms and the toilet, she eventually found her way to the drab white bathroom. She hunted through the drawers until she found an enormous red-handled pair of scissors. Gathering her long ebony hair up into a ponytail, she opened the scissors and moved them up and down the length of her hair, trying to work out where to make the cut. She looked at her reflection in the mirror and saw that her face was pale, her mouth quivering slightly. She took a deep breath in and moved the scissors higher up than she had ever intended, above shoulder length, before wincing and closing the blades down on her hair.

    It was more awkward than she had anticipated: it was as though her hair was too thick to be properly cut through the first time. She ended up hacking at it slightly haphazardly, tendrils of shiny black hair tumbling to the grotty tiles as tears began to streak down her cheeks. She surveyed her red-eyed reflection again and gruffly wiped her eyes on the sleeves of the T-shirt before reaching for the top drawer beside the basin.

    The teenage boy was sitting on a sun-damaged deck chair on the brick-paved patio, his head tilted back as he took a puff on his joint. As he exhaled calmly, his eyes opened and fell on Lisa standing, feet apart, before him.

    The joint tumbled from his hands and landed on the bricks, leaving a trail of embers in its wake.

    “Duuuude. What the hell did you –”

    “Where’d you keep your bleach?” Lisa cut through him.

    “Wha–?”

    “The hair,” said Lisa, gesturing to his shoddy, damaged blond hair. “It must be your work, right?”

    “Uh – it is, it is – I’ll help you find the bleach …” he muttered, hunting beneath his chair for the joint. He seemed to have difficulty tearing his eyes from her. “Uh – I forgot to introduce myself, by the way … I’m Jamie.”

    She smirked.

    “I’m Lisa.”
    Last edited by Gavin Luper; 27th September 2010 at 04:20 AM.
    ...Quest for the Truth of the Legend ...

    Lisa the Legend

    Winner of 12 Silver Pencil Awards 2011 - Including Best Plot, Best Character in a Leading Role, Best Moment and Best Fic of the Forum for Lisa the Legend!

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    Feel free to withdraw at any time, Gavin.

    Quote Originally Posted by DragoKnight View Post
    ...Far too many references!! You're like the Swiss army knife of discussion.

  15. #975
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    Default Re: Lisa the Legend: Chapter 69 now up!! (27/9/10)

    Wow. o.o That was one heck of a chapter there. From the part where Lisa got to really thinking about Jamie's little suggestion regarding her key, things just got really powerful, really memorable.

    All of a sudden, she had something she had never realised she had before: the power to make a choice.

    I don’t have to be a pawn anymore.
    Loved that bit. ^^

    Further on the subject of the aforementioned key-related suggestion... I do wonder if it's really gonna turn out to be the brilliant solution that Lisa currently seems to think that it is. But then, I always tend to have some degree of doubt about such seemingly brilliant solutions.

    At any rate, this is quite the interesting turn things have taken here--I'm really looking forward to seeing what follows. ^^

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    Default Re: Lisa the Legend: Chapter 69 now up!! (27/9/10)

    Quote Originally Posted by Sike Saner View Post
    Wow. o.o That was one heck of a chapter there. From the part where Lisa got to really thinking about Jamie's little suggestion regarding her key, things just got really powerful, really memorable.



    Loved that bit. ^^

    Further on the subject of the aforementioned key-related suggestion... I do wonder if it's really gonna turn out to be the brilliant solution that Lisa currently seems to think that it is. But then, I always tend to have some degree of doubt about such seemingly brilliant solutions.

    At any rate, this is quite the interesting turn things have taken here--I'm really looking forward to seeing what follows. ^^
    Hooray, I hoped you'd be back to read this!

    I'm stoked that you liked the chapter so much, and in particular the line where Lisa says she doesn't want to be a pawn anymore - because that was one of the two sentences that I was struggling with prior to posting the chapter. It's rather redeeming to know that it was a well-received line.

    More on the key-related solution to follow! In fact, from this chapter onwards things start to accelerate quite rapidly and get pretty exciting, in my opinion at least. I hope you'll like it.

    Thanks again for reading, Sike!

    I should also add that I'm doing NaNoWriMo again this November, to make another 50,000 words of progress on finishing off LTL completely. It's already progressed a long way from what I have posted, but there's still a way to go before everything's tied up and finalised neatly.

    With that in mind, how often would people like to see new chapters posted? Sike, specifically, but if there are still some closet readers out there, I would so love to hear your feedback on how frequently you would like to read a new update! I would like to pump them out on a weekly or fortnightly basis for a while - would that work for you guys?

    Please please please let me know ... it would be awesome to get some feedback not just on the recent chapters, but also, on how often you would like to see the new ones put up.

    Cheers guys - oh, and in the spirit of Collingwood winning their first AFL Grand Final since 1990 on the weekend - GO PIES!

    ...Quest for the Truth of the Legend ...

    Lisa the Legend

    Winner of 12 Silver Pencil Awards 2011 - Including Best Plot, Best Character in a Leading Role, Best Moment and Best Fic of the Forum for Lisa the Legend!

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    Feel free to withdraw at any time, Gavin.

    Quote Originally Posted by DragoKnight View Post
    ...Far too many references!! You're like the Swiss army knife of discussion.

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    Default Re: Lisa the Legend: Chapter 69 now up!! (27/9/10)

    Fortnightly sounds good, at least as far as I'm concerned. Any faster than that and I tend to struggle at least a bit in keeping up, especially in times like these when I'm doing especially much writing of my own. X3;

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    Default Re: Lisa the Legend: Chapter 69 now up!! (27/9/10)

    Okay, thanks Sike! I'm thinking every 2-3 weeks I'll put up a new chapter then.

    Just going to iron out the bugs in chapter 70 and I'll get that posted. IMHO, things get a bit exciting post chapter 70.

    Also, I am so looking forward to NaNoWriMo - I've taken two weeks off work during November so it should be brilliant. This year has been hellish and given me basically no time to write, so writing another 50,000 words again will be bliss.

    Chapter 70 coming soon!

    Cheers!
    ...Quest for the Truth of the Legend ...

    Lisa the Legend

    Winner of 12 Silver Pencil Awards 2011 - Including Best Plot, Best Character in a Leading Role, Best Moment and Best Fic of the Forum for Lisa the Legend!

    Quote Originally Posted by mr_pikachu
    Feel free to withdraw at any time, Gavin.

    Quote Originally Posted by DragoKnight View Post
    ...Far too many references!! You're like the Swiss army knife of discussion.

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    Default Re: Lisa the Legend: Chapter 69 now up!! (27/9/10)

    Whooooooo!

    Just finished reading up to now, and may I congratulate you on an especially awesome piece of work. This series has kept me in with it the whole time, and I think you've done a great job so far. Your writing always seems to be able to elicit the right feelings at the right times, especially with the recent chapters.

    It doesn't surprise me that Lisa would try to be herself, but I think she should maybe have at least checked in with the Guard, 'cause as Sike said, I wonder about super solutions, especially when she only has one pokemon to defend herself with (I'm surprised Altaria has been totally loyal to her so far). She must know that the Union knows she's around and may be able to track her so we'll see.

    I also liked Gavin's part, and if he's in training, I would definitely love to see what that entails sometime in the future. I think he's a much more thoughtful character since he got tortured, although sometimes he does become kinda just like every other guy, hehe.

    Anyways, I look forward to reading all the new chapters, as soon as you feel ready to post 'em.


    Stay chill, bro.

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    Default Re: Lisa the Legend: Chapter 69 now up!! (27/9/10)

    Dryk: Thanks mate! I have to say I really appreciate the effort you must have put in to get through all 69 chapters so far ... and I'm absolutely stoked that the story has kept you engrossed all the way.

    Lisa's feeling the first rush of self-liberation, but I think her past experiences will stand her in good stead for keeping a level(ish) head. As for Altaria, I think she struck gold with a particularly gentle and open-hearted pokemon - lucky for her!

    Glad you dig Gavin, too - his character is definitely interesting, merging his usual teenage self with that seen-way-too-much tortured side. Things get more interesting for Gavin a little further down the line, too.

    Thanks so much for reading, mate, I really do appreciate that you took the time to read - and to reply, as well. Grazie!

    Everyone: As for the next chapter - ha - I laugh at my post from last year asking about whether fortnightly chapters would suit or not. I actually used NaNoWriMo again this year to work even more on LtL and succesfully advanced the story another 53,000 words ... to the point where I now have a ridiculously large amount of exposition ready to be posted and a frighteningly small number of chapters left to write.

    What's holding me back, you ask? Mostly perfectionism. When you get this close to the end of something as absurdly complex as this story, the last thing I want is plotholes to crop up in recent chapters and destroy the absolute genius (if I do say so myself) of the climax. ^_^ So, it's all coming, my patient readery friends. All in good time!

    Cheers!
    ...Quest for the Truth of the Legend ...

    Lisa the Legend

    Winner of 12 Silver Pencil Awards 2011 - Including Best Plot, Best Character in a Leading Role, Best Moment and Best Fic of the Forum for Lisa the Legend!

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    Feel free to withdraw at any time, Gavin.

    Quote Originally Posted by DragoKnight View Post
    ...Far too many references!! You're like the Swiss army knife of discussion.

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    Default Re: Lisa the Legend: Chapter 69 now up!! (27/9/10)

    Hey LTL readers!

    As part of the weekly prompts being held in the sticky thread in this forum, I've devised Lisa's "bucket list" and thought I would post it here for a wee insight into her character - and one of the rare occasions I've delved (very slightly) into her first-person narrative. Kind of makes me want to rewrite all of LTL in the first person, but the very thought of such an onerous task has me hating the idea as well.

    Anyhow, here's the list:

    Lisa Walters' (from LTL) Bucket List:

    1. Learn bass guitar (or keyboards).
    2. Do the hiking and kayaking trip in Tokor's jungle that Marina always talks about.
    3. Sleep with Darius.
    4. See pop music LEGEND Julienne Brextar live - and meet her backstage!
    5. Visit Emma's grave and apologise to her.
    6. Have a career that puts Alena White's to shame.
    7. Learn a foreign language (French or Italian probably).
    8. Travel though Johto with Gavin again (how many awesome sights have we had to overlook while running away from the Union?) - once the world is at peace.
    9. Re-do Paddy's contest on Mt Fairfax for real - and win it. (I want the buggy!)
    10. Do the whole love/marriage/family thing when I'm old, like 28 or 29ish.


    If you haven't already done the writer's prompt this week, I would recommend it! You just basically write a list of 10 things for one of your character's bucket lists (ie. things to do before they die). It was really fun and gets you looking at your character in a new way.

    (Incidentally, number 6 is maybe a bit cryptic, but I don't want to spoil any of the unposted chapters by revealing anything about Lisa's potential career directions in the future. Also, the list is more of a fun/personal one, instead of focusing on Lisa's mission with the Legend/Union/Guard.)

    Hopefully more updates to follow soon. I still have many chapters sitting in a massive word document, ready to be posted, and I can now count on two hands the number of chapters remaining to be written, which totally freaks me out. And that's still the reason I've not posted anything up yet. My perfectionism doesn't want me to post all these chapters only to realise there was a big plot hole in one of them or something. So I want to hold off as long as I can. Possibly will post chapter 70 very soon, though, as I don't think there's too much potential for plot holes in it.

    Anyhow, thanks for all the patience guys.

    Cheers,

    Gavin.
    ...Quest for the Truth of the Legend ...

    Lisa the Legend

    Winner of 12 Silver Pencil Awards 2011 - Including Best Plot, Best Character in a Leading Role, Best Moment and Best Fic of the Forum for Lisa the Legend!

    Quote Originally Posted by mr_pikachu
    Feel free to withdraw at any time, Gavin.

    Quote Originally Posted by DragoKnight View Post
    ...Far too many references!! You're like the Swiss army knife of discussion.

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    Default Re: Lisa the Legend: Chapter 69 now up!! (27/9/10)

    Quote Originally Posted by Gavin Luper View Post
    3. Sleep with Darius.
    Uh-oh... Don't get into trouble Lisa!

    Really good list, and I see what you mean about insights into her character. You have successfully piqued my interest in Alena White. As always, looking forward to new chapters, but only when you think they're ready.

    Good Luck.

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    Default Re: Lisa the Legend: Chapter 69 now up!! (27/9/10)

    Quote Originally Posted by Dryk View Post
    Uh-oh... Don't get into trouble Lisa!

    Really good list, and I see what you mean about insights into her character. You have successfully piqued my interest in Alena White. As always, looking forward to new chapters, but only when you think they're ready.

    Good Luck.
    Dryk: Haha don't worry, Lisa is a relatively sensible girl. Although at the end of the day, she is a teenage girl after all, so we'll see what happens. I almost wanted to write 'make love to Darius' but that just sounds a bit too girly or something, I reckon Lisa would write 'sleep with' if she were writing a list.

    Glad you are piqued by the Alena White reference ... although it will be a while before she pops up in the story!

    I did a frenzy of planning last night and I think I have overcome a massive obstacle that was holding me back - so things might come quickly now. In any case, if I haven't already finished LTL by November this year, I'll use NaNoWriMo to finish it off ... so worst case scenario, I think everything will be written and done by the end of this year, and then posted this year/2012. It's scary to think of letting go of Lisa and co, but I think I've held onto them for long enough.

    Cheers!
    ...Quest for the Truth of the Legend ...

    Lisa the Legend

    Winner of 12 Silver Pencil Awards 2011 - Including Best Plot, Best Character in a Leading Role, Best Moment and Best Fic of the Forum for Lisa the Legend!

    Quote Originally Posted by mr_pikachu
    Feel free to withdraw at any time, Gavin.

    Quote Originally Posted by DragoKnight View Post
    ...Far too many references!! You're like the Swiss army knife of discussion.

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    Default Re: Lisa the Legend: Chapter 70 now up 10th April!

    Hullo readers!

    I have a Chapter 70 for you. I was actually spurred onto posting this because I wrote a piece for this week's writer's prompt, but it would be a spoiler unless I posted this chapter first. Hence posting this up before I post my 'nightmare' piece.

    Also trying a new 'previously on LTL' kinda thing - let me know what you think!

    Please enjoy - this chapter is a nice prelude to the awesomeness of the next few chapters!

    Cheers!

    - Gavin.

    PS: Brownie points to whoever can guess where the chapter title came from.

    +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+

    Previously on Lisa the Legend:


    Gavin left on a mission ...


    “Once they discharge me, when I’m healthier and stronger, I’m going to make my way to Olivine City. I’ll take a boat across to Cianwood Island. There’s an old seer there who lives up in the Island’s wildlands. Apparently he might know something about how to harness my psychic powers.”


    Lisa escaped the Union, but freedom was not as safe as it appeared:


    “The helicopter – um –” Lisa wiped her eyes and tried to clear her thoughts. “Sterling was taking me to the Sepulchre … I had to jump from a helicopter. He chased me and got shot by the coastguard and he backed off, I don’t know if he’s on the island looking for me or not … but the coastguard called the police, and I don’t trust them, so I ran …”

    “Good move,” said Lance sharply. “My sources tell me the police on Red Rock Island are definitely corrupt and under Union influence, which means they will be tracking you down as we speak –”



    And after being attacked by the Union once again, Lisa fled to safety with a dubious ally, Jamie, who led her to a life-changing decision:


    For some time, Lisa Walters sat on the bed of the stranger whose name she still hadn’t asked for. The grubby white phone was warm in her hand, but she was rapidly losing the desire to use it. Her mind was bubbling with new possibilities, new choices – choices she had never even realised she had …

    If I entered the Sepulchre of Suicune without anyone knowing … If I could get the fragment of the key on my own terms …

    She recalled her father’s words in the makeshift hospital ward at the Fairfax Inn:

    “ The Union wants to break into the shrine. To succeed they’re going to need all seven keys. But what we want to do is protect the shrine, prevent the Union getting in. And to do that we need only to deprive the Union of one single key, one single fragment, even, to succeed.”

    Lisa’s heart seemed to be climbing into her throat.

    MY fragment.



    +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+

    Chapter 70 – Island of Lost Souls.


    They could have been an awkward teenage couple striding down the palm-lined boulevard. He was a boy with platinum-blond hair, decked out in a threadbare punk band T-shirt and grafittied jeans, a cigarette hanging from his mouth. She was his female equivalent, her jagged, bleached hair not even reaching the collar of her black tee. Though a pair of beaten aviator sunglasses obscured her eyes from the view of the villagers and merchants heading into town, she wore the same disenchanted scowl as her apparent boyfriend.

    The boulevard they followed was one that circled the isle. To their left were rows of red-brick cafés and artisan stalls, already brimming with tourists and locals, set among parks, a red-dirt battlefield and various cottages. To their right was the crisp coastline, with its almost resplendent cinnabar sand and eager surfers already hitting the swell. The entire place had the air of a luxurious, crowded tropical resort: a casual onlooker would have no idea that the place was now heavily infiltrated by the Union. Lisa glanced at the rows of tanned faces in the crowded street, repeatedly quelling her fears with the knowledge that if anyone was looking for Lisa Walters, they would not even look twice at the ragged figure she had now become.

    “You sure the place is this way, dude?” Jamie muttered, exhaling a pungent jet of smoke in her direction.

    Lisa coughed. “Can you not smoke near me? It’s disgusting,” she snapped, waving the stench away with her hands. A swarthy deckhand who was passing by in the opposite direction shot her an obtuse look.

    Jamie sniggered derisively as they quickly passed the marine stench wafting from the open doors of a seafood restaurant.

    “Ya know, this disguise is only gonna work from a distance,” he said acerbically. “If anyone actually talks to ya, they’re gonna realise what a total prude you are.” He laughed. “You’ll blow yer own cover.”

    “It doesn’t make me a prude to not want my lungs to rot and die,” Lisa shot back sardonically. “I don’t know why you think it makes you so awesome to smoke,” she added, screwing up her nose at Jamie.

    He responded by cheerfully blowing several smoke rings into the air.

    “It’s called punk rock …” he muttered obnoxiously. “Anyway, I was serious, do ya know where yer going? ’Cause there’s not many houses out this way …”

    He gestured to the streetscape ahead. The boulevard rose up to a small grassy crest a few hundred metres ahead, at which point the café strip seemed to peter out into a cluster of coastal cottages, and then, further on, nothing more than luxuriant viridian foliage.

    Lisa scanned the way ahead through her tinted aviators. Granted, it had been six months or so since she had set foot on the island, but she recalled this café strip quite well – and the seaside hut was just over the crest, she was sure.

    “Yeah, we’re on the right track,” she said irritably. “Look, I know what I’m doing, so just stay close and act like we’re together, like I told you. Once we get there undetected, you can go back to your mum’s place and light up again, alright?”

    Jamie shrugged. “No complaints there, dude. Gotta stop by the pokémon centre though, see if Trent’s there. Bastard still owes me fifty bucks for last week …”

    Lisa clenched her teeth as the boy rambled on about one of his fellow drug-addicted mates. She hadn’t meant to come across as agitated, but for most of the walk from the boy’s mother’s house to the boulevard, he had rabbited on – with apparently no regard for Lisa’s rolled eyes or short answers – about his favourite hardcore punk band, The Decay, and about the drunken antics he and his mates got up to in the newly Caribbean-esque Pokémon centre.

    “… up his arse!” Jamie half-laughed, half-coughed as he reached the punchline in what was likely an unabashedly low-brow tale. Lisa managed a mild chuckle and pursed her lips.

    “So are you going to tell me your plan then?” Jamie prodded unabashedly, sidestepping an eager newsagent who had left the confines of his store and was bustling about on the footpath among them, thrusting copies of the Red Rock Recorder under the noses of the passers-by.

    “I already told you, I’m going to try to find an old friend,” Lisa said shortly, lowering her head against the sun beating down from overhead; it was rapidly becoming a very warm day. “Well, more of an acquaintance than a friend, I guess, but I think we were close enough that he’ll help me.”

    “Help you get into the Chamber of Secrets?”

    “You know that’s not what it’s called,” Lisa sighed. “He’s a sailor. I’m hoping he’ll be able to take me to the mainland without having to go through checkpoints or anything.”

    Jamie nodded, apparently impressed.

    They walked past the final café in the strip, right near the grassy crest. As Lisa squeezed her way through the cluster of outdoor tables with their bright yellow umbrellas, she bumped unceremoniously into a young, tanned girl around her own age, knocking the girl slightly off balance.

    “Watch it!” cried the other girl indignantly, screwing up her nose slightly at Lisa.

    Lisa opened her mouth to say sorry, but the apology died on her lips. She stood stock-still amid the café tables, watching Jamie stride several paces ahead before realising that she was no longer with him, turning around and approaching her with a look of mild bemusement.

    “What’s up?”

    Lisa’s mouth was still hanging open in shock. She forced her tongue into action.

    “That girl I just ran into –” she spluttered. “It was Marina.”

    Jamie’s eyes widened, his forehead crinkling.

    “Duuuuude …”

    Lisa hesitated, holding his surprised gaze for a moment, before she about-faced.

    “Wait here for me!” she cried over her shoulder, running after the blue-haired girl ahead in the crowd. “I’ll be right back!”

    *

    Shane’s Shark Shack wasn’t the most attractive establishment on the boulevard: a tiny take-away shop wedged between two much larger and ritzier restaurants. Despite this, Shane, the stubbled owner in his early thirties, did a roaring breakfast trade: locals and tourists alike crammed into his store for his famous surf ‘n’ turf breakfast.

    Lisa followed Marina into the Shack, her heart thumping with excitement at seeing her friend again. The ultramarine-haired girl stood beside a short man in a white polo shirt and blue jeans, apparently conversing with him in hushed undertones. Lisa stood by the drinks fridge, feigning an interest in a new energy drink whilst examining Marina and the man’s reflections in the glass door of the fridge. Was he an escort from the Guard? There was no other explanation: Marina showed no sign of being held against her will. Lisa furrowed her brow. Was this the rescue party Lance had sent for her? He had promised to send someone she would recognise, true – but Marina, of all people? The Guardian of Raikou? It seemed like an impossibly reckless move for Lance – and indeed, Marina – to make.

    Then again, Lisa remembered, the Union had already used Marina to access the Sepulchre of Raikou, back on Emerald Plains. Had the Guard deemed her less valuable now? Her frown deepened.

    As the man in the white polo moved to the counter to place his order, Marina moved absent-mindedly toward the aquarium display nearer the door. Lisa stole her chance. Pushing through a bunch of dreadlocked trainers and their Mankeys and Ivysaurs, she moved up alongside Marina by the aquarium. Now that she was closer, Lisa could see Marina’s new turquoise-tinged Guardian Butterfree perched on the strap of her white halterneck, apparently at the ready.

    Speaking in the lowest voice she could manage, Lisa said, from the corner of her mouth, “Don’t react. It’s Lisa. Meet me in the toilets. Don’t mention me to your guard.”

    Then, only barely aware that Marina had stiffened beside her and the Guardian Butterfree had risen, wings abuzz, Lisa strode calmly away from the aquarium and headed in the direction indicated by the sign over the counter that proclaimed “Toilets at rear”.

    *

    The unisex bathroom was in a state of near-disrepair: Lisa could barely make out her own reflection in the grubby mirror that hung above the cracked basin. The floor was soaking wet and covered at odd intervals with toilet paper and dog-eared copies of the Red Rock Recorder. Just as a dubious headline from the most recent issue – “Joseph Sterling: Foe or Friend?” – caught her eye, the peeling white door creaked open and Marina Frost entered.

    “LISA!”

    “MARINA!”

    The two girls embraced, Lisa taking care not to crush Marina’s Guardian Butterfree with her chin.

    “Oh my God!” Marina cried. “What did you do to your hair?”

    They pulled apart.

    “I needed a change,” Lisa grinned.

    Marina crinkled her nose. “Oh Lisa … you looked fine as a brunette,” she said crisply, casting an eye over Lisa’s hair before moving on to her clothes. “Now you’re some kind of female bogan …” She trailed off. “Anyway – I’ll give you hell for that later …” Her eyes suddenly became fierce. “More importantly … What the hell happened to you last night?

    Her voice, far from being aggressive, cracked slightly. She sounded upset.

    “The Union got to me, I can explain everything,” Lisa rushed, Marina’s emotion reminding her of her mission. “Listen –”

    “We thought you’d been captured again,” Marina interrupted anxiously. “Giles and I got to the Colosseum at midnight and the trainer’s entrance was practically in ruins …”

    “They ambushed me,” Lisa said shortly. “I was lucky to get away –”

    “But why didn’t you try to find –”

    “Marina, please – LISTEN!” Lisa spoke over the top of her. At once, the miniscule Guardian Butterfree on Marina’s shoulder pricked up its wings and hovered two inches into the air, apparently unnerved by Lisa’s volume; a small violet glow appeared around its antennae.

    “Easy,” Marina said swiftly to the Butterfree, and it fluttered back to her shoulder, the purple glow disappearing. Marina turned to Lisa, clearly peeved at being interrupted. “What?”

    Lisa verged on apologising before deciding there wasn’t time for it.

    “I didn’t call you today ’cause I decided not to,” she said quickly. “I’m not going to go to the safe house.”

    Marina looked baffled.

    “What do you mean?”

    “I’ve decided to – well – look, do you promise not to say anything about this to your guard, or anyone from the Guard?”

    Marina regarded her, nonplussed. “Lisa, of course not. Whatever you say stays with me.”

    Lisa felt a warmth spread in her chest. She should have known that she could count on Marina.

    Without idling, Lisa leaned over and whispered her plan into Marina’s ear.

    When Lisa had finished, Marina gaped at her with shining eyes and a devious expression on her face.

    “I am so coming with you.”

    *

    The sun was high in the sky and the dubious breakfast menu had changed to the even greasier-looking lunch menu by the time Marina Frost returned to find Lisa and Jamie sitting at the outside tables at Shane’s Shark Shack.

    “Well, I feel like the worst person in the history of the world,” she announced cheerfully, sinking into a grafittied plastic chair between them.

    Lisa sipped at her lemonade. “Guilt setting in?”

    Marina sighed. “Mm hmm.” She folded her arms on the table and rested her head on them wearily. “Mum’s going to have an absolute heart attack when I don’t show up at the airport.”

    “I told you you didn’t have to come,” Lisa said hastily. “I mean, I was really planning to do this alone –”

    “Don’t get all noble, I’m the one who put my hand up for it,” Marina snapped, waving Jamie’s smoke away from her face aggressively. “I’m just feeling bad about it … It’ll pass …”

    “You can still change your mind –”

    Forget it, Lisa. I’m coming with,” Marina said firmly, pressing her cerise lips together. “Plus, the more I thought about it, the more I realised you’d need somebody with you in the Sepulchre anyway.”

    “I will?”

    “You’ll see,” said Marina enigmatically. “Anyway, look, I figure Mum and everyone will be happy, ultimately, once they find out what we’ve done. They’ll probably revoke my membership to the Guard once I get back, though.”

    Lisa coughed. “So you’re actually like … a proper Guard member now?!”

    “Well, it’s not like we get badges and a membership number or anything,” Marina said, almost defensively. “But yeah, after your phone call yesterday, I argued – and Mum argued – for me to be able to come to get you. I’m no use to the Union anymore, and plus, I was going insane at the safe house. It’s all jam-making and cleaning. Honestly …” She trailed off in exasperation. “Anyway … point is, I’m in.”

    Lisa nodded and drained the last of her lemonade, crushing some of the ice between her teeth.

    “And you slipped away from Giles without him knowing?”

    Marina nodded. “Yeah, it was easy. He saw me board my flight but I know he had to rush away to catch his own. So I waited five minutes, staged a medical emergency with Mudkip and then got the hell out of there.” She sighed heavily. “Should I be worried how easily it’s becoming to flat-out lie to people?” she added, a sardonic lilt to her voice, but her frown looked quite genuine.

    “Nope,” Jamie chimed in, ashing his cigarette, which Lisa direly hoped contained only tobacco. “It means you can think for yourself, dude.” Without even trying to hide it, he gazed over Marina’s lean, tanned arms and the part of her chest exposed by her halterneck. “I’m Jamie, by the way.”

    Marina exchanged a disgusted look with Lisa and muttered back, “I’m Marina, nice to meet you” in the most unconvincing tone Lisa had ever heard.

    *

    “Bubblebeam, Altaria!”

    “Awooo!”

    The cobalt-skinned dragon pokémon let off a gleeful coloratura before opening its mouth and releasing a volley of gleaming bubbles at the wild Cubone. The ground-type pokémon spun the bone in its hand, using it as a high-powered fan to blow the rush of oncoming bubbles into a nearby cluster of saltbushes and reeds, where they promptly burst harmlessly.

    “You can get him, Leese!” came Marina’s distant voice.

    Lisa narrowed her eyes at the resilient Cubone.

    “Altaria, Aurora Beam!”

    “Riiiiii!”

    Cubone raised its bone club defensively, but it was no match for the explosion of rainbow-coloured light that emanated from Altaria’s mouth. The Aurora Beam struck the lonely pokémon’s unprotected stomach, blasting it off its back and sending it spiralling through the air into another saltbush, where it lay motionless.

    “Good one!” Marina called.

    Lisa grinned and pulled out the red-and-white pokéball Marina had given her.

    “Go!” she cried, hurling it at Cubone’s stirring form.

    The orb bounced off Cubone’s macabre grey skull helmet and opened: with a flash of radiant light, the brown pokémon became a translucent scarlet colour before disappearing into the ball. The pokéball landed on the ground, shaking a couple of times, before it stilled.

    “Yesssssss!” Lisa cried, high-fiving Altaria, who looked composedly exultant. “Finally!”

    “Go Lisa!” Marina called.

    “So now the once innocent pokémon becomes a mindless slave to the human poacher who decided to collect it,” came Jamie’s laconic drawl. “Tell me honestly – how is catching pokémon not illegal yet?”

    Lisa rolled her eyes at him and walked over to the bushes to claim her prize. After leaving Shane’s Shark Shack an hour ago, Lisa had led Marina and Jamie to her destination – the seaside residence of Jack Criddle, the sailor who had given her Elekid in November – only to discover that there was nobody home. Resigned to the fact that they would have to try again later, Lisa and Marina had decided to fill in some time by going to a deserted beachside thicket nearby to catch a temporary pokémon team for Lisa to replace Aipom, Fiskmire, Dratini, Electabuzz and Vulpix, who were still, as far as Lisa knew, being held in a Union lab somewhere.

    So far, Lisa had not had a great deal of luck: she had attempted to catch a Cloyster and a particularly resplendent Beedrill, but had failed on both counts: Cloyster had been too strong to stay in the pokéball, and the agile Beedrill had fled before Lisa could order a second attack from Altaria.

    “There’s nothing wrong with pokémon training,” she said, pocketing Cubone’s pokéball and scanning the seaside thicket for Marina. The blue-haired girl was several metres away, ordering Herby, her Bayleef, to launch a Razor Leaf attack at a vermilion Kingler. “Hey Marina, let’s try Jack’s house again after you finish that battle!”

    “Okay!” Marina cried.

    “There are about a hundred things wrong with it, dude,” said Jamie, who was standing back a bit from the long grass, hands stuffed in the pockets of his paint-splattered jeans. “It’s the most aggressively capitalist bullshit I’ve ever seen, and people sugar-coat it as a kid’s hobby. I mean, seriously, it should qualify as animal cruelty at least –”

    “Pokémon aren’t animals,” interjected Lisa, recalling Altaria to its poképort.

    “No, exactly! Animals at least have some rights. Pokémon don’t. People just treat ‘em like tools, work ‘em and abuse ‘em until they pass out, then run them through a machine that heals them and start the process all over again. And what for? Personal gain. Glory. Sometimes money. It’s fucking sick.”

    Lisa ground her teeth. “It’s not sick, it’s a fact of life,” she argued. “Pokémon and humans have coexisted for centuries. As friends. Humans train pokémon and pokémon are willingly trained … You make it sound like there’s some kind of mind-control or something horrible happening. It’s just the way it is. Pokémon trainers have been around since forever … and I’m proud to call myself one.”

    Jamie pulled a cigarette packet from his jeans and fumbled for his lighter.

    “Slavery existed for centuries too,” he sneered coolly. “Just because something is, doesn’t mean it should be.”

    Lisa riled. “That’s a stupid example! It’s not the same thing,” she shot back hotly. “I treat my pokémon like I would any human friend.”

    “So you call your human friends ‘boy’ and ‘girl’, then?” he said baitingly. “Or even just ‘human’, for that matter?” He scowled. “You don’t even give your pokémon names.”

    Marina gave a whoop of excitement; both Lisa and Jamie glanced across the verdant thicket to see the Kingler disappear into a pokéball.

    “I got another one for ya, Leese!” she called excitedly.

    “And another one bites the dust,” Jamie sighed under his breath, nose upturned slightly as he lit his cigarette and began walking back up the path that let to Jack Criddle’s hut.

    “I think I like you better when you’re stoned,” Lisa snapped, deliberately loudly enough for him to hear.

    *

    The front door of Jack Criddle’s beachside hut was little more than a roughly-hewn plank of rotten-looking wood. Lisa searched for a section that looked relatively splinter-free before knocking three times.

    After a moment, the door creaked open. A grey-haired man with rough, leathery skin stood before them, a pipe hanging from his sun-damaged lips and an unfathomable grimace on his face as he held his hand up above his face against the bright afternoon sun.

    “’Lo?” he grunted in an almost impossibly guttural voice.

    Lisa recognized the man at once, but it was abundantly clear from his expression that he could not place her.

    “Hello, Frank?”

    “’S me. Oo’re you lot?”

    “My name’s Lisa Walters, if you remember me? I travelled on your boat last November? From Cianwood Island … ?”

    Lisa tapered off. Frank had simply stared at her blankly in response to each of her questions.

    Jamie guffawed. Marina nudged Lisa in the back encouragingly.

    “I was with a sailor called Jack Criddle?”

    Some flicker of recognition flared in the old captain’s eyes.

    “You mates o’ Jack’s?”

    “Yes, I’m a friend of his,” Lisa pressed vehemently. “Um … do you know if he still lives here? I’m looking for him.”

    “’Ee’s gon’ out to Cianwood,” Frank grunted. “’Eel be back in a bit. Make yerselfs at ‘ome.”

    Without a second look at the three of them, the old man shuffled back into the cool shade of the hut, leaving the door open behind him.

    Lisa led Marina and Jamie into the hut. It was much as she remembered it from her brief stay in November: creaking wooden floorboards, faded green wallpaper and mostly-bare rooms. Frank sat at the flimsy-looking dining room table, arms folded as he watched the small wall-mounted TV set, chuckling every now and then.

    Lisa, Marina and Jamie loitered at the end of the dining table.

    “So now, what, we just wait for Jack to get back from his trip?” asked Marina. “Even if he takes hours?”

    “And just hope he’ll agree to take us to the mainland,” Lisa nodded. “I’ve got no other plan, and there’s nothing else for it.”

    Jamie took out a small pouch and some cigarette papers from his pocket and moved over to the open window, which overlooked the scarlet-tinged sand of the beach and the crystalline waters of the Cianwood Sea beyond them. Marina rolled her eyes at Lisa, who returned the sentiment. Turning their backs on Jamie, they sat down at the end of the dining table and stared up at the black-and-white TV set, trying to absorb themselves in a very dated episode of The Goldeen Girls.

    She must have fallen asleep at the table, for the next thing Lisa knew, there was a loud slam of the front door. She jolted and stared around in disbelief: night had fallen! Only blackness and a few distant beacons in the ocean could be seen outside the windows; the only light in the hut came from the old TV set, which cast a spooky blue glow over the room.

    “Morning,” Marina joked from beside Lisa. It looked like she had fallen asleep, too, for tendrils of blue hair were still strewn across her face.

    Beneath the window, Jamie had his head slumped against the wall at a painful-looking angle; he was otherwise almost laying horizontally on the floor. His eyes were open but they were very bloodshot: he barely looked awake.

    “’Zat you, Jackie?”

    Still seated at the end of the dining table, though now with a plate of baked beans on his lap, Frank peered down the passageway to the front door.

    “Just me and the boy, Snowy,” came the gruff reply, accompanied by not one but two sets of footsteps. “Just throw your things in there,” came Jack’s voice to his companion. A moment later, Jack Criddle walked into the dining room.

    He looked much as Lisa remembered him: young, tanned face, short, dusty golden hair, a blue wife-beater and tanned, muscular arms; however, he had since marked his right bicep with an enormous tattoo of what looked like either a dragon or an eagle, or perhaps both mixed together. Lisa thought she had never seen anything quite so ugly on a person before.

    “Havin’ a party, Snowy?” he boomed, glancing at the dark shapes of Lisa and Marina, and Jamie mumbling to himself in the corner. He extended his hand to Lisa enthusiastically. “G’day, I’m Jack, nice t’ meet – oh!” Recognition flooded his oddly-lit face. “It’s … Lisa, isn’t it?”

    Lisa shook his hand back firmly. “Hi again, Jack.”

    A look of mild confusion crossed Jack’s face.

    “’S’bin a while, ay? What y’ done t’ y’ hair? What brings y’ back ’ere?” he asked, apparently disconcerted by her reappearance on Red Rock Island.

    Slightly apprehensive now that the moment had arrived, Lisa tried to keep in mind the poster on the wall in Jamie’s bedroom.

    “Well, I’ll be straight with you,” she began. “I came here for a favour. I need to get back to the mainland, and I was wondering if you would be able to take me on your boat. If that’s possible …”

    She expected for her proposal to linger in the air; perhaps a pregnant pause, or an awkward look on Jack’s face. But, to her complete surprise, he grinned and said, “No worries.”

    From the corner, Jamie contributed a vague giggle for no apparent reason.

    “So – that would be okay, then?” Lisa clarified, as the second pair of footsteps approached the dining room.

    “’Course,” Jack boomed, moving over to the wall and flicking a light switch. A grubby fluorescent tube above the dining table flickered four or five times before casting a depressing glow over the dining table. “I’m headin’ there in two days, anyway, to drop your mate back home.”

    He said this as if Lisa would understand what he meant: however, she found herself exchanging a bemused glance with Marina.

    Just as she opened her lips and said, “Which mate?”, a teenage boy wearing a navy blue fisherman’s beanie and a heavy grey jumper entered the dining room.

    Marina gasped audibly; Lisa’s jaw dropped.

    “Hey guys,” said Gavin Luper.
    Last edited by Gavin Luper; 10th April 2011 at 11:10 AM.
    ...Quest for the Truth of the Legend ...

    Lisa the Legend

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  25. #985
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    Default Re: Lisa the Legend: Chapter 70 now up! (10th April)

    Another great chapter. Great descriptions, invigorating dialogue, nice little cliffhanger at the end, what else can I say? My only qualm seems to be that I don’t want Lisa to commit too many evil or accidentally evil acts before the end, but then that would make her perfect, so that story wouldn’t be fun. Also, Jamie's getting pretty interesting, and I think you did pretty well with the difference between when he's high and when he's not, It'll be interesting to see whether or not we ever see him again. I think you’re finding the right balance right now so that’s all I’m gonna say.

    On another note, I have absolutely no clue what the island of lost souls is, unless it’s some reference to a piece of classic literature. I also think the lead-in is a good idea, because if you have long times in between chapters, it’s easier to remember what happened.

    Looking forward to more LTL chapters and to reading the nightmare story. See ya later.

  26. #986
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    Default Re: Lisa the Legend: Chapter 70 now up! (10th April)

    “Well, more of an acquaintance than a friend, I guess, but I think we were close enough that he’ll help me.”

    “Help you get into the Chamber of Secrets?”
    *could not help but chuckle-snort* X3


    Alas, I don't get any brownie points. But anyway! The notion of Marina accompanying Lisa on her mission adds an interesting new facet to the situation. And speaking of characters coming along and adding interesting new facets to situations... the ending of that chapter! That was great. :D

  27. #987
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    Default Re: Lisa the Legend: Chapter 70 now up! (10th April)

    I do like the 'previously on' segment -- great for lazy readers like me. I was mightily impressed with Chapter 69. It makes me realize how craftily you've sucked us into believing in the Guard's authority, and believing that going with wat the Guard says is the only way the plot can progress. The emphasis on people's choices reminds me of Harry Potter. And Lisa's emotions upon assuming her guise and cutting her hair. For Chapter 70, the point about Pokemon training is an interesting one. And it fits that Jamie would be the one to object to Pokemon training, seeing as he's so cpable of seeing things from an unconventional perspective. I'm glad to see Gavin and Marina back, although I didn't buy Lisa just bumping into Marina. Gavin I could live with, since there's a logical reason he would seek Jack's help, but Marina just happening to be there seems too much of a coincidence. About the list, 'make love' being too girly, eh? I'd say too old-fashioned -- I don't know a single girl who says 'make love'. Hehe, if only if there were another EBTV crossover...
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    Default Re: Lisa the Legend: Chapter 70 now up! (10th April)

    Hullo readers!

    Dryk: Thanks for your review and glad you liked the cliffhanger. I'm working hard on the characterisation so your comments on both Lisa and Jamie and finding the right balance is good feedback, cheers.

    Okay, so "Island of Lost Souls" is a Blondie song from the 80s. ^_^ It was the fanboy in me.

    Reading your comment about the nightmare story just reminded me of it! My computer crashed just after I wrote it and I've since bought a whole new laptop, but I'm pretty sure I saved the nightmare thingo. Might have to try to dig it up now.

    Thanks again for reading and replying - more material very soon - chapter 71 if not the nightmare story just prior to it.

    Sike Saner: I'm so glad that you chuckle-snorted! That line just burst out of Jamie/me and it just felt really authentic when I wrote it, so I'm stoked it worked. Hoorah, yes, the old gang is reforming it seems, with first Marina then Gavin! Next chapter gets VERY interesting indeed ... hopefully it will be well-received (it leads into a bombshell kind of chapter). Thanks, as ever, for your loyal readership and reply.

    Ada: Hey! So glad to see you back here. My bad for taking, what, a whole month to respond?! Honours plus work plus visa application plus personal life is putting a whole load of pressure on, hence writing seems to suffer.

    Yay, I'm thrilled that C69 worked. It was definitely one of those "what if the Guard isn't perfect?" moments that mirrors that kind of disillusionment you go through in adolescence, you know, "what if my current worldview isn't the only one?" And it certainly, in many ways, reflects my own disillusionment and embracing the idea that we are, through our own choices, quite in control of our own lives and destinies; the world can exert its pressure on us and make us change and respond to suit it, but at the same time, we have the autonomy and the power to exert our pressure on the world, and change it in our image and make it respond to us. And that's what Lisa's started to go through.

    For C70, it's quite funny - I wrote that chapter with Jamie's slightly radical perspective on pokemon training way back in 2009 (yes, that's how much of a backlog of chapters there is), and I also just played Pokemon Black and discovered that the exact same theme is running through it via the character of N. So that's interesting.

    I agree that Gavin's return makes more sense than Marina's: my rationale for getting Marina back to the island is, I'm pretty sure, actually discussed in a few chapters' time, though I have no idea why I didn't find a way to edit it in to this chapter instead, since it would have made Marina's return more convincing. Ah well ...

    And yes, we'll go with "old-fashioned". Wasn't meaning to be sexist in any way, but "make love" to me conjures up some kind of 1990s syrupy romcom or something, hence the girly reference. Though I also know plenty of girls who hate romcoms - argh, you get my drift!

    Thanks for coming back to read and reply, and I hope I can entice you back again once C71 drops!

    Everyone: Judging on the comments so far, the lead-in to new chapters is a winner, so I'll try to employ that with every new chapter from here on.

    I'm going to look for my backup disc from my old laptop and see if the nightmare story is on there, and if it is, I'll upload it soon, probably before chapter 71. I'm freaking out about releasing the bombshell of C72 too soon, because so much comes spilling out after this and in very rapid succession, and since I haven't written the finale of LTL yet, I have this perfectionistic need to ensure that everything in the finale is watertight before I decide for sure that C72 is ready to go. But C71 will probably be released very soon, so stay tuned!

    Thanks all, for your continued support and reading of this fic! Makes me most happy.



    Cheers!
    ...Quest for the Truth of the Legend ...

    Lisa the Legend

    Winner of 12 Silver Pencil Awards 2011 - Including Best Plot, Best Character in a Leading Role, Best Moment and Best Fic of the Forum for Lisa the Legend!

    Quote Originally Posted by mr_pikachu
    Feel free to withdraw at any time, Gavin.

    Quote Originally Posted by DragoKnight View Post
    ...Far too many references!! You're like the Swiss army knife of discussion.

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    Default Re: Lisa the Legend: Chapter 70 now up! (10th April)

    I'm about to start Chapter 8 (just watched the movie you mentioned prior to that chapter, so I'm all ready to start!), so I'm very new to this story, but I am really enjoying it so far, even as someone with limited knowledge about the background of the characters. And I like Lisa a lot!
    ------------------------------
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    Thank you TPM Friends for the nice Award!
    Signature courtesy of Mikachu Yukitatsu

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    Default Re: Lisa the Legend: Chapter 70 now up! (10th April)

    Quote Originally Posted by Becky View Post
    I'm about to start Chapter 8 (just watched the movie you mentioned prior to that chapter, so I'm all ready to start!), so I'm very new to this story, but I am really enjoying it so far, even as someone with limited knowledge about the background of the characters. And I like Lisa a lot!
    Hi Becky!

    Thanks for reading and replying! Glad you've started on this fic and I hope you're enjoying it. Good that you've watched the movie recently too, although I'd say the plot of this fic and the characterisation of all of the characters, especially Lisa, ends up extending far beyond the initial scope of the early chapters. I hope it keeps you entertained at any rate - and I'm stoked that you're liking Lisa!

    Thanks for stopping by - oh, and tell your fiance that TPM is missing its grammar nazi!

    Everyone: Tried three times to get the nightmare story off my backup disc, and it keeps crashing MS word for some reason. Will try again tomorrow, blurrrrrgh. Thank God I have other backups of the LTL chapters!

    Cheers!
    ...Quest for the Truth of the Legend ...

    Lisa the Legend

    Winner of 12 Silver Pencil Awards 2011 - Including Best Plot, Best Character in a Leading Role, Best Moment and Best Fic of the Forum for Lisa the Legend!

    Quote Originally Posted by mr_pikachu
    Feel free to withdraw at any time, Gavin.

    Quote Originally Posted by DragoKnight View Post
    ...Far too many references!! You're like the Swiss army knife of discussion.

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    Default Re: Lisa the Legend: Chapter 70 now up! (10th April)

    Having to scroll down the page is a test of willpower so that I don't spoil myself. I just finished Chapter 24 of Lisa the Legend. I'm glad to see Gavin making sense of his psychic powers. I was getting frustrated with him since the radio tower incident. I didn't realize it until recently, though, that I even felt that way with his character. That's probably a good thing, though, because I really like the fact that the characters in this story are really well developed, very rich.

    I loved the Whirlpool Championship chapters because they were so well written, and I felt lost in the story at that point. I'll post if I think of anything else I can add as I progress!
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    Signature courtesy of Mikachu Yukitatsu

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    Default Re: Lisa the Legend: Chapter 70 now up! (10th April)

    Quote Originally Posted by Becky View Post
    Having to scroll down the page is a test of willpower so that I don't spoil myself. I just finished Chapter 24 of Lisa the Legend. I'm glad to see Gavin making sense of his psychic powers. I was getting frustrated with him since the radio tower incident. I didn't realize it until recently, though, that I even felt that way with his character. That's probably a good thing, though, because I really like the fact that the characters in this story are really well developed, very rich.

    I loved the Whirlpool Championship chapters because they were so well written, and I felt lost in the story at that point. I'll post if I think of anything else I can add as I progress!
    Happy to hear you're enjoying it so much, Becky - and it sounds like you're going through the chapters at a pretty speedy rate! Pleased to hear that you find the characters rich and well developed (if frustrating) - many of my long-term readers have probably heard me comment that I've always thought my character development, at least earlier on, was a bit sucky, so it's good to hear positive feedback about that.

    I love the Whirlpool Championship chapters, too ... largely because I wrote them during a hot summer and in retrospect I think it was a kind of wish-fulfilment thing, the idea of being somewhere on a nice tropical archipelago having an adventure, when in reality I was bored on my summer holidays.

    The next chapters after C24 start to get a bit deeper and murkier and altogether a step up, so I hope you enjoy them muchly! Thanks again for reading and replying!

    Lisa's Nightmare/next chapter up as soon as I get my damn back-up disc to work. I have the chapters saved elsewhere so they are all safe, but I was hoping to put the nightmare piece up (which, now, seems ridiculously overhyped, because it's nothing much). Anyhow, if I can't get this to work soon, I'll go ahead with C71 ... exciting!

    Cheers!
    ...Quest for the Truth of the Legend ...

    Lisa the Legend

    Winner of 12 Silver Pencil Awards 2011 - Including Best Plot, Best Character in a Leading Role, Best Moment and Best Fic of the Forum for Lisa the Legend!

    Quote Originally Posted by mr_pikachu
    Feel free to withdraw at any time, Gavin.

    Quote Originally Posted by DragoKnight View Post
    ...Far too many references!! You're like the Swiss army knife of discussion.

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    Default Re: Lisa the Legend: Chapter 71 up! (10th August)

    Sup homies,

    Here is Chapter 71 at last. A short, not-so-sweet one before I unleash the next succession of rather explosive chapters. Argh. Letting go of long-planned secrets is going to hurt and be exciting all at the same time. So, let it begin!

    Hope you enjoy!

    +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+

    Previously on Lisa the Legend:


    Having escaped Joseph Sterling's clutches and finding herself alone on Red Rock Island, Lisa met Jamie, an apathetic punk whose attitude led her to a startling revelation:



    She recalled her father’s words in the makeshift hospital ward at the Fairfax Inn:

    “ The Union wants to break into the shrine. To succeed they’re going to need all seven keys. But what we want to do is protect the shrine, prevent the Union getting in. And to do that we need only to deprive the Union of one single key, one single fragment, even, to succeed.”

    Lisa’s heart seemed to be climbing into her throat.

    MY fragment.




    And after Marina abandoned her Guard escort to join Lisa in her new mission, Lisa enlisted the help of another old friend - Jack Criddle, the sailor who housed her during the Whirlpool Cup and who gave her her Elekid.



    “Well, I’ll be straight with you,” she began. “I came here for a favour. I need to get back to the mainland, and I was wondering if you would be able to take me on your boat. If that’s possible …”

    She expected for her proposal to linger in the air; perhaps a pregnant pause, or an awkward look on Jack’s face. But, to her complete surprise, he grinned and said, “No worries.”

    “So – that would be okay, then?” Lisa clarified, as the second pair of footsteps approached the dining room.

    “’Course,” Jack boomed, moving over to the wall and flicking a light switch. A grubby fluorescent tube above the dining table flickered four or five times before casting a depressing glow over the dining table. “I’m headin’ there in two days, anyway, to drop your mate back home.”

    He said this as if Lisa would understand what he meant: however, she found herself exchanging a bemused glance with Marina.




    And, to her complete surprise, Lisa found that her oldest and most dear friend of all had also just walked back into her life.



    Just as she opened her lips and said, “Which mate?”, a teenage boy wearing a navy blue fisherman’s beanie and a heavy grey jumper entered the dining room.

    Marina gasped audibly; Lisa’s jaw dropped.

    “Hey guys,” said Gavin Luper.



    +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+


    Chapter 71 – Scars.


    The shock of seeing Gavin alive and well again bound Lisa firmly to her chair. While Marina leapt up from the wooden table to greet Gavin with a warm hug and a jocular high-five, Lisa goggled at him, eyes vacant.

    “Nice to see you again, Debbie Harry,” Gavin said in a mock-professional voice, extending a cordial hand to Lisa after extricating himself from Marina.

    Lisa felt a rush of emotions flood her arteries; despite herself, the prevailing one was joy. She laughed at Gavin’s sarcastic quip and stood up at once, limbs revitalised by his familiar tone. She threw her arms around him, hooking her hands quite tightly around his back and kissing him gently on his unscarred cheek. To her mild surprise, he hugged her back quite as firmly, and she was almost certain she felt his lip against her earlobe, but, quite suddenly, he pulled away; Jack was speaking.

    “S’like a reunion, innit?” he boomed, opening the small bar fridge in the hut’s depressingly-lit kitchen. “Who’s up for a beer?”

    “I’ll go one,” said Gavin promptly, sinking into the chair opposite Lisa and beside Marina.

    Jamie muttered something incoherent across the room; it seemed that even in his drugged-out state the prospect of alcohol was still attractive.

    Gavin regarded Jamie’s slumped form with something like disgust before casting an obtuse look at Marina and Lisa.

    “Who’s he?” he hissed.

    “A – friend,” said Lisa at length, trying not to respond to the feeling that Gavin was quietly assessing how good a judge of character she was. “He helped me out a lot …”

    Jack shuffled up to the table, setting down six blue-and-gold cans of beer. “There youse all go!”

    “Cheers, Jack,” Gavin said, eagerly taking one of the cans and cracking it open with a faint hiss.

    “Lisa?” Jack pressed.

    “Oh … no thanks Jack … I really don’t drink beer or anything …”

    His handsome face looked crestfallen. “But we’re all back together again – s’like a reunion! Nothing like a bit o’ grog to celebrate! Come oooooon …”

    “Erm …” Lisa hesitated, glancing at Gavin’s can without affection; she could already smell the bitter liquid inside; it reminded her strongly of the smell of vomit. “Well – do you have any wine?”

    As one, Jack and Frank stared at Lisa in apparent disbelief that she could have mentioned any alcoholic beverage other than beer.

    “Me and Lisa will both have a shandy, Jack, if that’s okay?” Marina chimed in quickly.

    He nodded heavily and trudged back to the kitchen; Frank tore his eyes from Lisa and returned to his reruns.

    Marina giggled.

    “What’s a shandy?” Lisa asked quickly, simultaneously judging Marina for her knowledge of alcoholic beverages and wondering what she was now obliged to drink.

    “Beer and lemonade, it’s not bad.”

    “Beer on its own is better,” interjected Gavin, burping unabashedly.

    Lisa rolled her eyes at him, but could not remain annoyed at him for long. She had a million questions bubbling in her mind for Gavin, but she was not sure she could freely discuss anything with him in front of Jack and Frank.

    Gavin seemed to read her mind.

    “Not now, Leese,” he said stiffly. Then, apparently realising how coldly he had come across, he offered, more kindly, “Talk later?”

    Lisa nodded.

    They spent the next hour playing along with Jack’s illusions of a party: the young sailor seemed oblivious to the fact that his guests were only consuming one drink to his four. Slowly sipping her shandy (which she scarcely found an improvement over the bitterness of beer, though it was mildly sweeter), Lisa jovially revisited the times she, Gavin and Jack had had while they had competed in the Whirlpool Cup last November. Surrounded by old friends again, Lisa found it easy to push the Union out of her mind, and laughed heartily with Jack and the others.

    Eventually, as Jack chugged down the final, foamy swirl of amber liquid, he declared himself to the room as “fucken buggered”, and, after sweeping each of them into affectionate bear hugs, stumbled back toward his bedroom, slamming his considerable mass into several door frames along the way before a loud click suggested that he had located his quarters at last. Apparently taking this as a sign that the evening was at an end, Frank muttered a vague “goodnight,” to the table at large and followed suit, leaving Gavin, Marina and Lisa alone at the table; Jamie was definitively sprawled on the wooden floor, snoring loudly.

    “Alright, now we can talk,” Gavin said, after listening for the click of Frank’s bedroom door.

    “Where have you been?!” Lisa exploded.

    “Well, I kind of wanted to ask you that …” Gavin muttered.

    “She asked you first,” said Marina sleekly.

    Lisa grinned appreciatively in Marina’s direction.

    “Well, it’s no big mystery, Leese. You already know where I’ve been,” said Gavin slowly, taking a hearty swig from his beer can. “I told you in the hospital – I went to Cianwood Island to see that Seer.”

    “Well, this sounds interesting,” noted Marina, interlocking her fingers and resting her chin on them, an intrigued expression on her face.

    Lisa tried to articulate herself without revealing too much emotion.

    “I know that but –” she faltered; quite against her will, her voice began to quiver. “I never knew for sure if you made it out of the hospital okay or not.”

    She bit her lip. The terror of the hospital siege was rushing back to her: the horror of Emma’s dead, open eyes in the elevator; the door of Gavin’s room being shattered by the Union agents; her shock at not being taken with Gavin when he teleported away; the pressing realisation that she had been captured … Hot, salty tears began to splash down her face.

    She felt Marina’s hand rubbing her left arm soothingly, but rather than feeling comforted, Lisa simply felt embarrassed.

    “Sorry guys – I’m fine – it’s just hard to think about –” she spluttered, shrugging Marina’s hand away. Then, unable to compose herself, she looked Gavin directly in the eye and shot him a question that she had tortured herself with for days. “Did you ever come back to try to find me?”

    Gavin squirmed uncomfortably in his seat, his hands occupied with attempting to bend a small pull-ring out of shape.

    “I tried, Lisa,” he said in a leaden tone. “I – I freaked out a bit when I got to the river bank and you weren’t with me.” His voice, too, was hoarse and broken, though he was far too self-conscious to shed a tear. “I tried to teleport back, but it was useless, my energy was so drained. I kept trying but nothing happened. I eventually flew back on Skarmory, but the room was empty – you and the Union were long gone … and I had no idea where.”

    “So you just – left?”

    “Skar and I flew to a Pokémon centre, where I contacted Lance. He told me what happened to you – that you’d been captured. I –” he hovered over his next words uncertainly, “I took out a lot of my anger on him …” he said abashedly. “Anyway, he said I should keep following the plan we’d established before – and do it as secretly as possible. With Skar, I made my way to Olivine and then surfed here on Staryu. I tracked Jack down and asked him to take me to Cianwood – and he’s a good guy, he was totally happy to do it. So, that’s that,” he said, matter-of-factly.

    “Well, you could’ve told me Gavin was okay, at least!” Lisa rounded on Marina in her frustration.

    Marina raised a dark eyebrow – mercifully, without firing up.

    “Lisa, I told you before I didn’t know anything about Gavin, and that’s true, Lance didn’t tell me a thing, nor did Mum. I didn’t know the Guard knew he was safe.” She paused. “Don’t take your frustration at Gavin out on me.”

    Lisa’s face flushed slightly; Marina had taken the high road, and worst of all, Gavin was now regarding Lisa with a look of bemusement, as though he couldn’t quite believe that she was frustrated with him.

    “What about the Seer?” Marina quizzed Gavin swiftly. “What was all that about?”

    “Lance had located a Seer on Cianwood Island who was apparently a full bottle on everything to do with psychic powers. He thought the Seer might have some information about – you know – my family’s curse and stuff.”

    “Sounds like there’s a ‘but’ coming,” Marina said.

    “Exactly,” Gavin said, nodding at her. “I found the Seer last night, and he was a really creepy guy, too. Lives in a beach hut that’s even shittier than this, and it’s overrun with Wurmple and Rattata, it’s disgusting.”

    Marina grimaced.

    “He told me a lot of things about psychic powers,” Gavin continued. “And he gave me some really good tips on how to train myself and take control of my abilities. And he did know a freakish amount about me, if you know what I mean.” Even now, Gavin’s face looked slightly unnerved. “Like, he knew about everything I do, little OCD habits and what pokémon I have on my team and how I used to work at the Radio Tower. And he knew about my family curse, but when I asked how to solve it, how to end it, he just said I should keep training myself, practise my psychic powers …” There was a note of disappointment in his voice that was rather a great deal more bitter than Lisa’s shandy. “It was … kind of anticlimactic, to be honest.”

    “Did he mention anything about the psychic creature that you have to fight?” Lisa asked, too curious to remain sullen and silent any longer.

    “Oh – yeah,” said Gavin. “He confirmed what we thought – it’s Lunanine. I have to fight a ten-foot-tall rabid black dog that can fire Hyper Beams from its mouth. As you can imagine, I’m pretty much doing backflips about it.”

    His sardonic tone sliced through the rather gloomy atmosphere of the dining room; all three of them laughed, mostly because there was nothing else for it; by the bay window, Jamie was still snoring violently.

    “So that’s me,” said Gavin, scratching his scar absent-mindedly. He looked at Lisa with a melange of disbelief and admiration. “Lisa, seriously, how the hell did you manage to get away from the Union?”

    Lisa filled him in on what had happened to her in the past few days, though, as she had done while recalling the events to both Jamie and Marina, she glazed over the existence of Larry; she was still clinging to the hope that Joseph Sterling hadn’t discovered the double agent in his ranks; that her actions hadn’t directly resulted in the death of an extremely brave man. She fudged a tale of how she had hidden the Buzzball in her bra, and that, when the Union had left her in a small office with only one guard, she had taken the chance to electrocute him, overpower him, steal his Stunner and escape from the Union’s headquarters.

    As she trudged through the motions of her lie, Lisa felt a familiar pang of guilt in her stomach at being dishonest with her closest friends – she wondered if she sounded authentic or not – but Gavin did not question her tale. He gasped in all the right places, assuming, like any friend would, that he was being told the truth. She knew, too, that she was only telling a white lie, but it felt foreign and unsettling to not be upfront with her two closest friends. Perhaps the worst thing was, as Marina had remarked earlier that day, how easily the lies now came. But what other choice did she have?

    “So I got to the trainer’s entrance to wait for the Guard, and that’s where I met Jamie,” Lisa recounted.

    An apprehensive look stole over Gavin’s pale face.

    “What’s the go with him?” he asked Lisa directly.

    “What do you mean?”

    “I mean, why is he here?”

    Lisa suddenly understood: Gavin’s chestnut-brown eyes were alert with mistrust.

    “He’s not a Union agent, Gavin.”

    “You don’t know that,” Gavin bulleted back.

    Lisa searched for Marina’s face – however, to her surprise, she found that Marina, too, had an apologetic expression.

    “Et tu, Marina?”

    “I don’t mean to be horrible, Lisa,” Marina said earnestly, her cerise lips downturned slightly. “But – I dunno – I just can’t trust him.”

    Lisa felt as though she was backing slowly into a corner.

    “Well, I do trust him,” she said defensively. “I know he’s – well – a bit rough around the edges – but he saved me from the Union when they attacked us at the Colosseum. If he were a Union agent, he never would have bothered trying to help me. And besides, the Union attacked him …” She tapered off, rapidly losing confidence in herself, as Gavin regarded her sternly.

    “Lisa,” said Gavin. “The Union took the time to infiltrate the Army Reserve so they could take you from the hospital. They tricked you into thinking Morty – a friggin’ Gym Leader – was a good guy, then he stabbed you in the back. They put time and effort into capturing you. Don’t you think that they would do anything – even pretend to attack one of their own – if it meant they would capture you?”

    Lisa clenched her teeth as he spoke; she found his voice exceedingly condescending.

    “But it makes no sense for him to have done that!” she protested hotly; Gavin raised a finger to his lips, which Lisa found utterly obnoxious in her aggravated state. “They would have had me at the Colosseum anyway – but Jamie helped me get away. He even let me stay at his mother’s house all night, and he never alerted the Union. He even gave me the phone so I could call the Guard.”

    Gavin seemed politely indifferent to Lisa’s argument, which only infuriated her further.

    “Yeah, Leese, but that doesn’t mean –”

    “Oh, for God’s sakes, you two!” Marina cried loudly, making them both jump. “You’ve been back together five seconds and you’re already bickering! Can we just keep it casual, PLEASE? You’re meant to be friends, dammit!”

    There was a prolonged silence, broken by Jamie’s rattling breaths. Lisa promptly mumbled her assent, feeling slightly flushed; Gavin cast a surly glance at Marina before following suit.

    “Look, I don’t like him much either, Gav,” Marina began, “but it doesn’t make any sense for him to be a Union agent. I think Lisa’s right. And besides, if it weren’t for Jamie, Lisa would never have got the idea for this new plan.”

    Gavin blinked. “What new plan?”

    Apparently relieved that the tension had broken between Gavin and Lisa, Marina took it upon herself to lighten the mood.

    “Lisa’s bleached her hair and gone into renegade action-fighter mode,” she said dryly. “We’re gonna break into the Sepulchre of Suicune and get the key fragment ourselves! Come along for the ride, it’ll be heaps fun!”

    Gavin’s face had gone slack. “Wait – what?”

    “I’m not going back to the safe house,” Lisa said.

    “Why the hell not?”

    Lisa fought the urge to snap at him.

    “Because I’m so sick of this constant running, the constant hiding from the Union, hoping they don’t find me,” she said tersely. “And I’ve realised the sooner I get the fragment of the key that’s in the Sepulchre, the sooner the Union will have no use for me anymore.”

    “But that’s what the Guard is for,” Gavin argued. “Your parents – what did they say about this?”

    “We’re not telling anyone,” said Marina smoothly, and not a moment too soon; Lisa had already begun to get defensive. “We’re doing this alone.”

    “So you’re doing it too?” Gavin said, sounding more concerned by the minute.

    “Yep,” Marina replied simply. “The Union already used me to get into Raikou’s Sepulchre, I’m no more special to them than any other random off the street now.”

    “But –” Gavin seemed to be struggling with the concept. “Surely the safest thing of all would be to just go to the Safe House. All three of us could go, we’d be protected, the Union wouldn’t even have a chance to get at you …”

    “But for how long, Gav?” Lisa cried. “All we’ve been doing is running and hiding. The Safe House is just a stall tactic. And even you just mentioned the fact that the Union’s infiltrated the Guard in the past. How do we know that the owners of the Safe House aren’t Union spies themselves, waiting for me to get there so they can turn me in?”

    “I wouldn’t put it past them,” Marina chimed in uselessly. “That Mrs Stone is a real bitch. She heard me say the word ‘crap’ to Darius and she made me wash out twenty empty jam jars. TWENTY! Crap’s not even a real swear word!”

    “The best step we can take is to take matters into our own hands,” Lisa forged onwards, trying to visualise the poster in Jamie’s bedroom that had given her so much of her newfound confidence. “We can either sit around or we can try to actually do something about it. This is something we could actually do that could make a difference – we could do something without either the Union or the Guard knowing about it – we’d have one-up on both of them …”

    But it was clear from Gavin’s grimace that he wasn’t sold on the idea.

    “So your plan is to risk your life trying to do, essentially, exactly what the Union wants you to do?”

    “They won’t expect me to go willingly to the Sepulchre, Gavin. Actually, it’s probably the last place they’d ever expect me to be. I’d be safer there than at the Safe House.”

    Gavin opened his mouth, probably to argue with her, but Marina got in first.

    “It does make sense, Gavin,” she said. “Think about it: If we can somehow get Lisa’s fragment without anyone knowing, then we can destroy it ourselves, or if that doesn’t work, we could give it to the Guard directly. It would stop the Union in their tracks.”

    Gavin shrugged indifferently and Lisa scowled; it annoyed her that he freely argued with every point she made, but quietly accepted everything when Marina presented it in a slightly different light.

    “How is this even going to work, though?” Gavin asked dully. “How are you going to find the Sepulchre?”

    “Lisa’s already found it,” Marina said.

    “Well, I think I have,” Lisa corrected her. “When I was locked in that office in the Union’s headquarters on Silver Rock Island, I saw a map on the table with a pin stuck in it. The pin was stuck in a place called Lotus Lake. Since they were planning on taking me to the Sepulchre that day … it kind of seems like the Sepulchre must be at Lotus Lake, wherever that is.”

    “Mm,” mumbled Gavin.

    “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of Lotus Lake,” Marina put in. “And I’ve kayaked through most of the water systems in Johto …”

    “I’m pretty sure the map was of Johto,” said Lisa. “We can try to find a map anyway and work it out in the morning.”

    “And then traipse through the Union-infested fields of Johto, totally exposed, sounds fun,” said Gavin acidly.

    It was the straw that broke the camel’s back: Lisa’s chair slid back as she rose to her feet, jabbing a finger in Gavin’s direction.

    “What the hell is your problem, Gavin?!” she cried, tears springing to her eyes for the second time that evening.

    “Lisa – easy …” came Marina’s voice.

    Gavin was on his feet, too.

    “My problem is that after everything that’s happened to you, you still haven’t learnt shit!”

    “Gavin, that’s enough,” Marina said sternly.

    “No, seriously!” Gavin cried, now facing Marina; his pale face was alive with indignation. “This is so typically Lisa! She gets herself out of one predicament and, instead of taking the safe, sensible option, she goes and throws herself into the dumbest possible scenario again!”

    “Dumbest?” Lisa spluttered, lost for words. “Gavin, I –”

    “I mean, first she decides to go out on this stupid mission, then she decides to invite some random pothead along for the ride …”

    Marina placed her head in her hands as if trying to block out the argument; Lisa prickled at Gavin’s words.

    “Gavin, you’re not even making any sense! I didn’t invite Jamie along, he’s not coming with us –”

    “– and that’s the first sensible thing you’ve said all night –”

    “WHY ARE YOU SO ANGRY WITH ME?”

    Lisa nearly shrieked it; she wouldn’t have been surprised if everyone in the household had woken up at once, but she was beyond caring: she couldn’t fathom why on earth Gavin was so incensed with her, nor why she was so incensed with him.

    “Because,” Gavin said bitterly, locking eyes with her; his chestnut-brown irises were steely, “you’ve had so many chances, so many lucky escapes, so many people who’ve stuck their necks out for you, and apparently it means absolutely nothing to you!”

    Without another look at her, he stormed off down the hall, his door slamming so loudly that Jamie, oblivious to the entire argument thus far, suddenly started and murmured, “Wassat?” before falling back to sleep.

    There was a long beat.

    After a few seconds, Marina removed her head from her hands, her face miserable. She stood up awkwardly and began tidying up the dining table, crumpling beer cans and throwing them into the kitchen bin.

    After standing perfectly still for some time, Lisa joined her, eager for any activity that would take her mind off the argument.

    “He’ll come around,” said Marina eventually, offering Lisa a friendly smile as they scraped the remains of their baked beans into the rubbish bin.

    “The weirdest thing is that … I don’t even know what we were arguing about, really,” Lisa admitted, flicking a stubborn baked bean into its plastic grave.

    The two girls finished clearing the kitchen and then, aware that midnight was approaching, decided to sleep. Unwilling to approach Gavin’s room – where she and Marina were also supposed to sleep – Lisa decided to curl up near Jamie on the wooden floor.

    Marina sighed heavily before sinking to the hard floor beside her and sprawling out, clearly uncomfortable.

    “The things I do for you, girl,” she grinned jokingly, before rolling over.

    Though comforted by Marina’s presence, Lisa lay awake for some time, staring through the bay window at the patchwork of twinkling stars in the warm night sky. Gavin’s final words to her played on loop in her brain:

    “Because you’ve had so many chances, so many lucky escapes, so many people who’ve stuck their necks out for you, and apparently it means absolutely nothing to you!”

    With a sickening ache in her stomach, she finally understood what he had meant. The horrible dream she had had on Mt Fairfax flashed back to her; the dream where, somehow, she had glimpsed a morsel of Gavin’s entrapment with the Union.

    Even when he was tortured for information on her whereabouts, he had never given her up.

    The needling pangs of guilt in her stomach kept Lisa awake long after Marina’s snores mingled with Jamie’s. When finally she fell into sleep, she dreamt of how pure Gavin’s face had been before he received that scar.
    Last edited by Gavin Luper; 10th August 2011 at 07:50 AM.
    ...Quest for the Truth of the Legend ...

    Lisa the Legend

    Winner of 12 Silver Pencil Awards 2011 - Including Best Plot, Best Character in a Leading Role, Best Moment and Best Fic of the Forum for Lisa the Legend!

    Quote Originally Posted by mr_pikachu
    Feel free to withdraw at any time, Gavin.

    Quote Originally Posted by DragoKnight View Post
    ...Far too many references!! You're like the Swiss army knife of discussion.

  34. #994
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    Default Re: Lisa the Legend: Chapter 71 now up! (10th August)

    “Where have you been?!” Lisa exploded.

    “Well, I kind of wanted to ask you that …” Gavin muttered.

    “She asked you first,” said Marina sleekly.

    Lisa grinned appreciatively in Marina’s direction.
    Heh. Good move, Marina.

    As she trudged through the motions of her lie, Lisa felt a familiar pang of guilt in her stomach at being dishonest with her closest friends – she wondered if she sounded authentic or not – but Gavin did not question her tale. He gasped in all the right places, assuming, like any friend would, that he was being told the truth. She knew, too, that she was only telling a white lie, but it felt foreign and unsettling to not be upfront with her two closest friends. Perhaps the worst thing was, as Marina had remarked earlier that day, how easily the lies now came. But what other choice did she have?
    Yeah. Having to lie to people you care about sucks.

    “Oh, for God’s sakes, you two!” Marina cried loudly, making them both jump. “You’ve been back together five seconds and you’re already bickering! Can we just keep it casual, PLEASE? You’re meant to be friends, dammit!”
    There is just something I like about this quote. Especially the "You're meant to be friends, dammit!" part.

    That Mrs Stone is a real bitch. She heard me say the word ‘crap’ to Darius and she made me wash out twenty empty jam jars. TWENTY! Crap’s not even a real swear word!
    Pfff... XD I shudder to think how many jar-washings it'd cost were she to find out that she'd been called a bitch.

    “WHY ARE YOU SO ANGRY WITH ME?”

    Lisa nearly shrieked it; she wouldn’t have been surprised if everyone in the household had woken up at once, but she was beyond caring: she couldn’t fathom why on earth Gavin was so incensed with her, nor why she was so incensed with him.

    “Because,” Gavin said bitterly, locking eyes with her; his chestnut-brown irises were steely, “you’ve had so many chances, so many lucky escapes, so many people who’ve stuck their necks out for you, and apparently it means absolutely nothing to you!”

    Without another look at her, he stormed off down the hall, his door slamming so loudly that Jamie, oblivious to the entire argument thus far, suddenly started and murmured, “Wassat?” before falling back to sleep.
    I like that last paragraph there following what it did. There was that really intense moment, and then Jamie went and sort of opened a valve on it there. Kind of a fun little bit of contrast.

    “The weirdest thing is that … I don’t even know what we were arguing about, really,” Lisa admitted, flicking a stubborn baked bean into its plastic grave.
    I have no idea why I like a trashcan being referred to as a "plastic grave" as much as I do, but, well, there it is.


    Lisa's certainly been given something to think about. I wonder what she'll decide to do.

  35. #995
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    Default Re: Lisa the Legend: Chapter 71 now up! (10th August)

    Hey Sike, thanks for reading and giving a nice reply as always!

    Quote Originally Posted by Sike Saner View Post
    Heh. Good move, Marina.

    ...

    There is just something I like about this quote. Especially the "You're meant to be friends, dammit!" part.

    ...

    Pfff... XD I shudder to think how many jar-washings it'd cost were she to find out that she'd been called a bitch.
    Hehe, I'm glad you liked Marina's contributions to the discussion. I figured it broke up the tension between Gavin and Lisa to make for a more nuanced interaction, especially since I think in that kind of confrontational situation, a character like Marina would work overtime to do her best to defuse things, and yet assert herself when needed.

    I have no idea why I like a trashcan being referred to as a "plastic grave" as much as I do, but, well, there it is.
    Hehe, glad you liked it!

    Lisa's certainly been given something to think about. I wonder what she'll decide to do.
    Indeed, Gavin certainly added a weight to her shoulders, but perhaps for good reason. You'll see what happens next quite shortly!

    Thanks again for reading and replying - I appreciate your feedback a lot!

    Cheers!
    ...Quest for the Truth of the Legend ...

    Lisa the Legend

    Winner of 12 Silver Pencil Awards 2011 - Including Best Plot, Best Character in a Leading Role, Best Moment and Best Fic of the Forum for Lisa the Legend!

    Quote Originally Posted by mr_pikachu
    Feel free to withdraw at any time, Gavin.

    Quote Originally Posted by DragoKnight View Post
    ...Far too many references!! You're like the Swiss army knife of discussion.

  36. #996
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    Default Re: Lisa the Legend: Chapter 71 now up! (10th August)

    Well, I now I'm waaaaaaaaaaayy behind on this, since I just began reading it, but I'm already getting reading pulses.


    Jean paused for a moment. “I’ll ring Mum and Dad,” she answered finally, her eyes still bright.

    Wesley nodded in agreement, then strained his ears to hear any noise from the Elite Four battle on the downstairs TV.

    “One step ahead of ya,” Lisa said, once again making sure her chin was jutting forward confidently. “Right now they’re in Mt Moon: no mobile phone coverage. They’re probably knee deep in Omanyte by now, anyway.”

    Jean's eyes lost their fiendish glow. She knew she was beaten...
    - This part made me feel "satisfied", not because I'm vengeful or anything, but because, being the 2nd of 5 children, I know what is like to have a little brother who loves to screw one's plans and get away with it. Obviously, it reminded me of my childhood, so I really felt this part. Awesome job!

    After all, there was nothing scary about the piles of debris, wooden planks, pieces of tarp and cloth and general litter that covered the floor of the Burned Tower.
    This part made me laugh. I don't know if it was meant to be sarcastic, but if it was, it was nicely done too. Also, it was a very accurate description of a burned lace and of course, of the brass tower we loved so much from GSC where the three legendary dogs awaited.

    ... And then, with speed Lisa had never witnessed before, Suicune bounded upward, through the hole in the floor, charging through the ancient wooden door of the Burned Tower and south – out of Ecruteak.
    ...when I finished reading this, for some reason, I thought of the following: "Suicune - Bounce attack". I know, its a crazy thought, and a really random one (since Suicune doesn't learn Bounce), but that's honestly what came to mind. Apart from this, I have to say that this is a nice cliffhanger, since it leaves the reader with the question: Could Lisa and Aimom resist the blinding speed of Suicune when it jumped one floor and rushed outside the building? Is she still holding on to Suicune's fur? I have to say it's nicely done.

    Well, I hope to read some other chapters soon, but I'll go 1-2 chapters at a time, since I don't want to read a lot of chapters and lose the essence of serious reading.

    See you around!

    PS: I have to say that I'm a bit embarrassed, but I guess this is the first step in becoming a reader.

    Louis (Shadow Wolf)


    Optimist award 2012.

    “There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.” (Linda Grayson)

    Thank you everyone... for being so kind and for bringing out the best in me! You are definitely awesome! ^_^

  37. #997
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    Default Re: Lisa the Legend: Chapter 71 now up! (10th August)

    Louis: Hello and welcome to LTL, and can I just say, thank you so much for replying to this thread! It means a lot to get new feedback and especially from someone new to the fic, too. And hey - you're officially a reader now, hoorah!

    Quote Originally Posted by Shadow Wolf View Post
    This part made me feel "satisfied", not because I'm vengeful or anything, but because, being the 2nd of 5 children, I know what is like to have a little brother who loves to screw one's plans and get away with it. Obviously, it reminded me of my childhood, so I really felt this part. Awesome job!
    Ah, another member of a big family, I see! Yes, this was coming partly from personal experience - I'm number 5 of 6 kids - so I was partly referring to a younger sibling and, I think, partly referring to myself who probably used to irritate my older siblings in that way! Haha shame on me.

    This part made me laugh. I don't know if it was meant to be sarcastic, but if it was, it was nicely done too. Also, it was a very accurate description of a burned lace and of course, of the brass tower we loved so much from GSC where the three legendary dogs awaited.
    I admit I had to go reread this to see what you meant, because out of context it looks extremely sarcastic! But nope, that was Lisa being pragmatic and deciding that even though things looked maybe a bit spooky, when you break it down to each individual thing, it's not actually scary at all.

    ...when I finished reading this, for some reason, I thought of the following: "Suicune - Bounce attack". I know, its a crazy thought, and a really random one (since Suicune doesn't learn Bounce), but that's honestly what came to mind.
    This is how out of touch I am haha - I didn't even know Bounce was an attack. But nope, it was just Suicune bounding away.

    Apart from this, I have to say that this is a nice cliffhanger, since it leaves the reader with the question: Could Lisa and Aimom resist the blinding speed of Suicune when it jumped one floor and rushed outside the building? Is she still holding on to Suicune's fur?
    Good question, mate. You will see shortly once you keep reading.

    Thanks again for reading and replying, dude - I appreciate it so much (I say this all the time to the point where it must sound insincere by now, but hell, I do, it's the truth).

    New chapter is right around the corner ...

    No, seriously. Will be up in about 1 week - I'm thinking two weeks between chapters works for people without anyone falling too far behind?
    ...Quest for the Truth of the Legend ...

    Lisa the Legend

    Winner of 12 Silver Pencil Awards 2011 - Including Best Plot, Best Character in a Leading Role, Best Moment and Best Fic of the Forum for Lisa the Legend!

    Quote Originally Posted by mr_pikachu
    Feel free to withdraw at any time, Gavin.

    Quote Originally Posted by DragoKnight View Post
    ...Far too many references!! You're like the Swiss army knife of discussion.

  38. #998
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    Default Re: Lisa the Legend: Chapter 71 now up! (10th August)

    So over this past weekend, I decided I'm going to sit down and start reading LtL. The attempt at reading this gargantuan tale has extended into the middle of this week already, and I've only just reached Chapter 20 at this writing, but it's a start, at the very least. I also decided I would do my best to offer comprehensive reviews of each chapter as I go along, and I also want to make sure you get a running score from me. So here goes!

    -----------------------------------------

    Chapter 1: I'm immediately hooked. Most kids of Lisa's age have a sense of adventure and a wandering mind, but at the same time parents who don't really want them going off and doing anything on their own just yet. Don't much care for Tom, but the way it's written, sounds like that was sort of the point - foisting responsibility off so he can go do what he wants. The kids are little hellions... they remind me almost too much of my sister when she was that age, looking to get me in trouble over something or other. The battle with Ray was good, very descriptive... and it was silly to see Lisa putting down his Koffing when she'd done nothing yet to demonstrate her Aipom could do any better. Touch of overconfidence, maybe? And finally, the legendary dogs. If none of the rest of your chapter got me, this did, seeing her "jump on board" and hang on for dear life. (Sounds a little familiar to me! ) I'm enthralled with your vocabulary - a writer who uses a broad range gets major kudos from me. A wonderful first entry in what looks to be a very promising read.

    Chapter 2: Haha, nice try, attempting to capture Suicune! But a Wooper works, too - it's invaluable. I could swear I've met people like Anna all my life... hated every one of 'em and, like Lisa, would go out of my way to oppose everything they told me. And Lisa's behavior at her loss to Kris and Hiro sounds about how I'd feel, I think, at losing at pretty much anything. So I'm really feeling like I can identify with her.

    Chapter 3: Gotta love Aipom gnawing on Lisa's ear. Those little tics and eccentricities help make it feel more real. Also... three hundred dollars? Good lord, I certainly hope she meant three! Ribbing at the currency inconsistencies in the games, perhaps? And Kipp Anderson - the name itself made my skin crawl. Visceral reaction, I suppose, but looks like it was well-founded when I saw his description. Tom's phone call came at an inconvenient and unexpected point in Lisa's activities, but that's the way these things usually go... and I'm tilting my head at him. He's letting Lisa go, as long as she comes back to explain herself and he won't be blamed for anything? What, is he three years old? I fully expect that their parents will still go nuts on him for allowing it. Dude just doesn't want to make an effort. He can't avoid responsibility forever. Moving on to the contest... that's now the second time - third time! - in a row Lisa's had a ball hit a Pokemon she didn't mean to catch. I sense her luck's going to continue in this fashion. I like Hiro's despondence... "I won! But now I have to hang out with a ladykiller... damn!"

    Chapter 4: Uh-oh, here comes the rival. I suspected when I read his description but knew it had to be him when Hiro and Kris were suddenly hush-hush. I'm rather glad I never had friends who became enemies, but I know many who do. Usually it involved superiority complexes or misunderstandings. Tyler's personality reflects a spoiled brat... and obviously accustomed to getting his way. Attacking during evolution, how cheap. Poor Hiro. Hoping to see him kick Tyler's ass later on... assuming we'll see him again!

    Chapter 5: My my. Sounds like a pretty cool librarian... if a bit of a five-year-old at first. Though I'll bet that was mostly revenge for Lisa calling him "Eugene". I like that he's a nerfed psychic; you'd want him not to be able to do much, at least in the beginning. Maybe as he gains more Psychic Pokemon, he'll be able to do more? Cursing galore towards the end, but then again, I probably would be letting loose a blue streak of my own if I was under that sort of attack... ready to find out what it was!

    Chapter 6: Eusine strikes me as a very strange sort... also, it doesn't seem to have struck Lisa how lucky she is to be alive when there were twenty other people killed. Then again, I suppose I shouldn't expect it... she's fourteen, and still trying to deal with the fact that she lost two days. I was wondering what happened to Natu... after all, it seemed to be the one responsible for getting them OUT of the tower... and it seems kind of a funny descriptor, emotion "stealthily" creeping into his voice. He's yelling at her - sounds like it's pouring off him in waves! But still, I'm interested to find out what happens next. Onward!

    Chapter 7: I wonder how the conversation between Lisa and Gavin went down so that they were able to make up with each other. I also wonder what happened to Natu in the interim, beyond evidently appearing to Officer Jenny... Hmm, Tom shows concern, but I'm left to wonder how genuine it is in regards to the safety of his sister, versus his level of complicity. Feh, that's a bad reporter, asking how they feel - how are they expected to answer that question? Nice retort from Aipom, though. There's your answer. Gavin being kind of a jerk about Jenny for no apparent reason, though. Moving on to the battle... a Granbull and a Mankey weren't quite what I expected to see in those balls at all, never mind seeing Lisa decide to battle with them. But hey, it worked. I notice that Gavin has a habit of opening his mouth and then closing it again, as though constantly second-guessing himself on what to say... it appears enough in the story to be a tad nagging. But I'm going to assume there's a reason for it. Someone likes Lisa, maybe? Looks like it...

    Chapter 8: Aha, now we have a Gavin-centric opening. Good - I was hoping for a different perspective soon, since it lets you inhabit the head of another character and show us his take on situations. Can't tell you how many times I've done the dine-and-dash rush you describe... in fact, almost exactly that way, head under the tap and all. Pretty desperate to go leaping out the window, though... I'd have thought his fifteen minutes of fame were already gone. Guess they're lasting more like half an hour. Woop, Halloween... and why's Suicune angry at Lisa? Well, duh, she's instructing Quagsire to attack it! Who WOULDN'T be a bit peeved at that? Still, Gavin to the rescue! And my my... Lisa's a bit quick to offer Girafarig to Gavin... and odd that she would forget Quagsire on the beach, the poor thing was still "in battle" with Suicune... hmm... sure, NOW the beach has Pokemon on it, like they knew she was coming to catch them before... but now Quagsire's pissed, and I get why. Wonder what'll happen next...

    Chapter 9: Heh, the image of a Staryu walking - I figured it might try to tumble its way to her like a wheel but yours is a more striking and memorable image. It might be worth noting that the time it takes you to write/post chapters is evident in the way they're written; in the continuity of your story, Lisa only caught Girafarig the day before, but it's made to sound like it had been a long time since the capture was accomplished. Anyway, on with the review - nice interlude with Lock and the evil grunt-type dude... bwahaha, Aipom caught Dratini! Wait, does that mean Aipom has to give it orders now? Probably not. I'm surprised Irene agreed to a rematch for Quagsire, since she won the first time... and how's she to truly know it was Lisa's to begin with? Hell of a Poliwhirl... what'll happen to Aipom?

    Chapter 10: I see a little narrator's bias against Irene - spoiled, accustomed to having her way, carefree, doing anything to win, evil - so I can only conclude this was not to be a nice person from the very beginning. But then, at the end of the battle, she's actually being informative and even a fair sportsman. What a contradiction. ... Green Lanturns? Guardians of the ocean? "In brightest day, in blackest night..." Nice catch. Lisa's jealous, since I haven't seen her make a "proper" one yet! Funny how she almost tried to get Gavin to "return" in a ball. I like Aipom's jealousy - "Hey! That's MY spot!"

    Chapter 11: Been a while since Aipom's nibbled on her ear. And that is one seriously cranky Nurse Joy - I've only ever seen her slightly huffy, not full on grouchy. But evidently her mood doesn't even compare to Lisa's after Jack just vanishes like that. I'd want to hear a "thank you" as well. But even then it wasn't good enough... I like that the smallness of what she's after only catches up to her once she's in his face, as it so often happens in real life. The start of the battle reads more like something out of ASB, and I do like that the Pokemon know more than four attacks. That makes more sense to me. Though why does Lisa get annoyed with him calling for two attacks in a row when she called for three in the very beginning? But she won, so it's all good. And another whirlpool? Well, all right, then...

    Chapter 12: Knock Gavin out and oh, he can wait. Feh. Poor guy gets no respect. Lisa could demonstrate a little more thanks to him - she can be so awkward sometimes, as I suppose befits someone of her age, experience, and temperament. She gets an Elekid for her trouble? Hot damn, I want one. Gavin's cousins with Sabrina and Will? Yikes. Yes, that would be a fairly cuckoo family. And an odd curse to have to endure. Poor guy, though, always having to look over his shoulder - psychically speaking, I guess.

    Chapter 13: There's a bit of a scary experience, waking up somewhere unknown with nary a clue as to how you arrived... at least, at first. The familiar faces must've been a welcome sight. I like Jack's inflections now, slurred and blurry. I note that at first Gavin has no truble running, then suddenly is panting for breath - a sprinter and not a cross-country marathoner, I take it. Nice trigger for his abilities, unbearable pain. May as well use it if he's got it. Moving on to the Cup - rolling my eyes at randomly sexist Lisa. Alicia's hair... green or blonde? I saw it described as both. But I did enjoy the battle; sometimes I wonder if Pokemon just suddenly "know" a move or if they concentrate as you describe Staryu doing.

    Chapter 14: At first I was wondering if Lisa was going to catch the Vulpix or not! Seems cruel to leave a Fire-Type Pokemon floating there in the water... all it wanted was a bath, dammit! She's pretty randomly rude, slapping Gavin around, knocking around defenseless Pokemon... I'm never sure whether to like her or hate her. Though I do worry for her after the dude with the knife attacked Irene. ... Ugh, Anna. Awesome battle! Great description and effect. I can visualize it. But - what's to become of Dratini and Psyduck?

    Chapter 15: Professional commentator, I'll give him that much, but at this point, it's pretty clear it's no longer standard battling environs. Finally Anna tries to help, and Gavin... nobody else wants to throw a Pokemon or two in there? Diffusion of responsibility for the fail. Whoop, spoke too soon... or maybe too late! Fifteen minutes and NOW they come rushing in. Gavin comes to the rescue in a very different way - shame he ends up in a bigger mess than the one he's trying to resolve. Hah, I knew Lisa was liking him. And now Tom knows about Gavin's psychic "problem"? Makes sense, he does train under Morty. But Gavin's trying to blow off the legend as not a big deal... not such a good idea for him.

    Chapter 16: Hah, stray Water Gun hitting a spectator. I've wondered what happens to attacks that go astray in a colosseum. Gavin thinks Octillery looks happy, then thinks it's too hard to tell? The boy's a mound of indecisiveness, poor guy. Hey, lookie there, a win for him. Nice digs they're in - once again, I enjoy your description, and I also like Gavin's attempt to make the best of a less-than-mediocre setting. I wondered when Lisa would remember that she'd been out to find Legendaries... no kidding, she got massively sidetracked. The "Psyspin" idea fascinates me - up until the point it heads for Quagsire.

    Chapter 17: Gavin punching himself in the head to activate his abilities? That's sort of asking for it, right there in the middle of the battle. Until that point he had no indication that he could control the amount of energy he unleashes each time it happens. He's ballsy, though, turning it all around on Lisa and Marina by using psychic instructions instead of spoken ones, and letting them think the spoken ones were what he wanted. Ah, well, good show to Lisa. But on to the rest of the fight - it's been a few weeks since Lanturn's capture? Only a few days, I thought... and what in the world? Tentacraw? A ghost jellyfish? Sheesh, keep me away. Lanturn would have some resistance to its own electricity, so I wouldn't expect much damage to it, if any. But it seems it wasn't enough - and probably that's for the best. There'd be too much resentment between Lisa and Gavin if one of them had won. Besides, she and Golduck had done the smart thing by withdrawing from the fight until those two got their issue worked out.

    Chapter 18: Heh, that Aipom just can't resist a nip. And I'll be honest, Lisa's reaction was more amusing than anything else - "You're a STALKER!" I'm more curious about Gavin's exploration of the cave, although this Westwood character is exceedingly strange. Lugia? Yes, please... though to find it in a cave would be weird for me, as I'd expect to find it in the water. Perhaps that's part of its strategy, though - keep people from finding it too easily. And... well, if I were Lisa, I wouldn't bother consulting Gavin, either. A room is a room, after all! And... a Ditto? Now that's funny. Looking forward to seeing what happens with the Black Beast - that is to say, Lunanine...

    Chapter 19: A sweltering December... I sometimes forget weather on the southern hemisphere opposes that of the north. The story's moved ahead quite some time now. Ha, I knew we'd be seeing Kris and Hiro again - except this seems to be without Hiro for the moment. Poor Gavin, feeling left out of the loop. And now Suicune is behaving even more oddly than before - there's been nothing about its behavior so far that indicates any sort of normalcy when dealing with these kids. Hmm... I wonder what that Raichu was up to. Quite a random encounter. Once again, nice battle. But the aside at the bottom confuses me - if Suicune (and the others, for that matter) can turn invisible, why hasn't it done so on previous occasion so it can be left alone? Why keep appearing to Lisa and Gavin? Guess I'd better keep reading to find out.

    Chapter 20: Gavin's less than enthused, I see, but Lisa's got his number. But I wonder how it is Lisa's feeling back at the start of her journey - didn't it have to do with legendaries? She doesn't really seem to know what it is she wants out of the journey. Giving up Vulpix? I wouldn't! But I'm not her. I wonder what's happening to Professor Oak. For that matter, I wonder what's going on with this Rocket - what is it Lisa's been "interfering" with that's set him after her? Not much of a contest for Gavin, but it looks like Julia's feminine wiles (and other attributes) seem to be wowing him. But so much for romance. Maybe he'll be a bit more careful next time! And Lisa gets a Magneton - well, maybe two Electric Pokemon are better than one. And above it all, the burning question: why are the legendaries so interested in her and her friends?

    Too many questions and not enough answers at the end of Book 1. I guess that's why I'll have to keep reading. Congrats, Gavin, you've gotten me into this. Twenty chapters down... fifty-plus to go. Hooray?
    Last edited by mattbcl; 17th August 2011 at 07:09 AM.

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    Default Re: Lisa the Legend - Chapter 52 up!!

    Well, I have a practice interview in a few hours, so I needed to calm down a bit. Why not read a bit more about LTL?

    Suicune was faster than any car on the Ecruteak Expressway. Lisa was sure that it never became tired at all, and it hadn’t stopped once in the whole hour Lisa had been on the mysterious creature’s back.
    You know? I wonder how she managed to hold on for a whole hour. I mean, hanging onto Suicune's fur would be somehow similar to riding a motorcycle, except that you aren't controlling it. Still, it was a fitting description for the legendary pokemon.


    Suicune raced along through the forest, not actually wanting to shake off his passengers. He needed them … he just needed to see what to do about them.
    This definitely caught my attention. Why would Suicune "need" Lisa, a young and inexperienced trainer? The only thing that came to mind was that, just like a master recognizes a student's potential, Suicune must have felt the potential within Lisa. If this is right, then this promises to be an interesting story.

    “No, Suicune, don’t go!” Lisa yelled. In a last, desperate attempt to keep Suicune with her, Lisa threw a Pokeball at the legendary aurora Pokemon. The water type shrugged it off, and the pokeball fell down onto tiny Wooper, who turned red and dematerialised into the ball.

    “ Hey…” Lisa said slowly, as the ball wobbled to and fro, and finally came to a halt, and rolled onto it’s inverse.

    “ Ai?” Aipom said.

    “ I … caught Wooper.” Lisa said, in a shaky voice that sounded nothing like her usual one. “ I caught another Pokemon!”
    Lisa might not have notice it, but Suicune had just helped her catch a pokemon, Hey, that's quite a priviledge! To have a legendary pokemon (which does not belong to her) help her... it reminded me of the time Haunter helped Ash with Sabrina. I wonder if I will see a Wooper/Quagsire vs. Suicune battle in a near future?

    The rest of the story was simple, so I just followed it while reading normally. But anyways, I have to say that this promises to be interesting. And even though this was written a long time ago, I could feel the ability you had at that time as a writer. I can say for sure that I'll be expecting much from the progress of this story, as well as the progress of your writing skills.


    Optimist award 2012.

    “There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.” (Linda Grayson)

    Thank you everyone... for being so kind and for bringing out the best in me! You are definitely awesome! ^_^

  40. #1000
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    Default Re: Lisa the Legend: Chapter 71 now up! (10th August)

    Wow. I never would have thought, after more than nine years, I would still have new readers picking up this story and actually finding it interesting, despite the dubious thirteen-year-old writing skills for the first twenty chapters or so. And yet here the two of you are (Louis and Matt). Thanks so much to both of you for your feedback - I absolutely love hearing it, whether complimentary or critical.

    Quote Originally Posted by mattbcl View Post
    So over this past weekend, I decided I'm going to sit down and start reading LtL. The attempt at reading this gargantuan tale has extended into the middle of this week already, and I've only just reached Chapter 20 at this writing, but it's a start, at the very least. I also decided I would do my best to offer comprehensive reviews of each chapter as I go along, and I also want to make sure you get a running score from me. So here goes!

    -----------------------------------------

    Chapter 1: I'm immediately hooked. Most kids of Lisa's age have a sense of adventure and a wandering mind, but at the same time parents who don't really want them going off and doing anything on their own just yet. Don't much care for Tom, but the way it's written, sounds like that was sort of the point - foisting responsibility off so he can go do what he wants. The kids are little hellions... they remind me almost too much of my sister when she was that age, looking to get me in trouble over something or other. The battle with Ray was good, very descriptive... and it was silly to see Lisa putting down his Koffing when she'd done nothing yet to demonstrate her Aipom could do any better. Touch of overconfidence, maybe? And finally, the legendary dogs. If none of the rest of your chapter got me, this did, seeing her "jump on board" and hang on for dear life. (Sounds a little familiar to me! ) I'm enthralled with your vocabulary - a writer who uses a broad range gets major kudos from me. A wonderful first entry in what looks to be a very promising read.
    Indeed, Lisa might have thought she was more of a hot shot than she actually was. What does the Suicune-jumping-aboard thing seem familiar to? I can't place it. Thanks for the vocab comments.

    Chapter 2: Haha, nice try, attempting to capture Suicune! But a Wooper works, too - it's invaluable. I could swear I've met people like Anna all my life... hated every one of 'em and, like Lisa, would go out of my way to oppose everything they told me. And Lisa's behavior at her loss to Kris and Hiro sounds about how I'd feel, I think, at losing at pretty much anything. So I'm really feeling like I can identify with her.
    Yep, Annas are out there. And an important first loss - she did really need to be brought down to reality a bit, I think.

    Chapter 3: Gotta love Aipom gnawing on Lisa's ear. Those little tics and eccentricities help make it feel more real. Also... three hundred dollars? Good lord, I certainly hope she meant three! Ribbing at the currency inconsistencies in the games, perhaps? And Kipp Anderson - the name itself made my skin crawl. Visceral reaction, I suppose, but looks like it was well-founded when I saw his description. Tom's phone call came at an inconvenient and unexpected point in Lisa's activities, but that's the way these things usually go... and I'm tilting my head at him. He's letting Lisa go, as long as she comes back to explain herself and he won't be blamed for anything? What, is he three years old? I fully expect that their parents will still go nuts on him for allowing it. Dude just doesn't want to make an effort. He can't avoid responsibility forever. Moving on to the contest... that's now the second time - third time! - in a row Lisa's had a ball hit a Pokemon she didn't mean to catch. I sense her luck's going to continue in this fashion. I like Hiro's despondence... "I won! But now I have to hang out with a ladykiller... damn!"
    Tom is classically irresponsible and self-serving at this point, I agree! I swear there are Kipps out there in the real world, as well as Annas.

    Chapter 4: Uh-oh, here comes the rival. I suspected when I read his description but knew it had to be him when Hiro and Kris were suddenly hush-hush. I'm rather glad I never had friends who became enemies, but I know many who do. Usually it involved superiority complexes or misunderstandings. Tyler's personality reflects a spoiled brat... and obviously accustomed to getting his way. Attacking during evolution, how cheap. Poor Hiro. Hoping to see him kick Tyler's ass later on... assuming we'll see him again!
    Mayyyybeeeee ...

    Chapter 5: My my. Sounds like a pretty cool librarian... if a bit of a five-year-old at first. Though I'll bet that was mostly revenge for Lisa calling him "Eugene". I like that he's a nerfed psychic; you'd want him not to be able to do much, at least in the beginning. Maybe as he gains more Psychic Pokemon, he'll be able to do more? Cursing galore towards the end, but then again, I probably would be letting loose a blue streak of my own if I was under that sort of attack... ready to find out what it was!
    Yes, Lisa again was a little bit tactless - shows how nascent she is on her journey, I feel.

    Chapter 6: Eusine strikes me as a very strange sort... also, it doesn't seem to have struck Lisa how lucky she is to be alive when there were twenty other people killed. Then again, I suppose I shouldn't expect it... she's fourteen, and still trying to deal with the fact that she lost two days. I was wondering what happened to Natu... after all, it seemed to be the one responsible for getting them OUT of the tower... and it seems kind of a funny descriptor, emotion "stealthily" creeping into his voice. He's yelling at her - sounds like it's pouring off him in waves! But still, I'm interested to find out what happens next. Onward!
    Hmm, interesting thought. I think I imagined the emotion gradually building in his tone as he spoke, but perhaps "steadily" would have been a better word, since it wasn't that hidden. I think when I wrote it I meant it from his point of view: i.e. the emotion was creeping in stealthily whether he wanted it to or not, if that makes sense?

    Chapter 7: I wonder how the conversation between Lisa and Gavin went down so that they were able to make up with each other. I also wonder what happened to Natu in the interim, beyond evidently appearing to Officer Jenny... Hmm, Tom shows concern, but I'm left to wonder how genuine it is in regards to the safety of his sister, versus his level of complicity. Feh, that's a bad reporter, asking how they feel - how are they expected to answer that question? Nice retort from Aipom, though. There's your answer. Gavin being kind of a jerk about Jenny for no apparent reason, though. Moving on to the battle... a Granbull and a Mankey weren't quite what I expected to see in those balls at all, never mind seeing Lisa decide to battle with them. But hey, it worked. I notice that Gavin has a habit of opening his mouth and then closing it again, as though constantly second-guessing himself on what to say... it appears enough in the story to be a tad nagging. But I'm going to assume there's a reason for it. Someone likes Lisa, maybe? Looks like it...
    You could put Gavin's behaviour down, at least in part, to classic teenage boy insecurity and uncertainty.

    Chapter 8: Aha, now we have a Gavin-centric opening. Good - I was hoping for a different perspective soon, since it lets you inhabit the head of another character and show us his take on situations. Can't tell you how many times I've done the dine-and-dash rush you describe... in fact, almost exactly that way, head under the tap and all.
    Yep, me too, before running out to the pub etc.

    Pretty desperate to go leaping out the window, though... I'd have thought his fifteen minutes of fame were already gone. Guess they're lasting more like half an hour. Woop, Halloween... and why's Suicune angry at Lisa? Well, duh, she's instructing Quagsire to attack it! Who WOULDN'T be a bit peeved at that? Still, Gavin to the rescue! And my my... Lisa's a bit quick to offer Girafarig to Gavin... and odd that she would forget Quagsire on the beach, the poor thing was still "in battle" with Suicune... hmm... sure, NOW the beach has Pokemon on it, like they knew she was coming to catch them before... but now Quagsire's pissed, and I get why. Wonder what'll happen next...
    I'm gonna do a Gavin on this one and open my mouth and close it again without saying anything. You'll know why in due course.

    Chapter 9: Heh, the image of a Staryu walking - I figured it might try to tumble its way to her like a wheel but yours is a more striking and memorable image. It might be worth noting that the time it takes you to write/post chapters is evident in the way they're written; in the continuity of your story, Lisa only caught Girafarig the day before, but it's made to sound like it had been a long time since the capture was accomplished. Anyway, on with the review - nice interlude with Lock and the evil grunt-type dude... bwahaha, Aipom caught Dratini! Wait, does that mean Aipom has to give it orders now? Probably not. I'm surprised Irene agreed to a rematch for Quagsire, since she won the first time... and how's she to truly know it was Lisa's to begin with? Hell of a Poliwhirl... what'll happen to Aipom?
    I think it had been a couple of days since Girafarig was caught, but yes, good point, the kind of sweet moment between Lisa and Girafarig doesn't work much given they probably only had two battles together. I'll put that down to the writer being young and a little more rampantly sentimental at the time. ^_^

    Chapter 10: I see a little narrator's bias against Irene - spoiled, accustomed to having her way, carefree, doing anything to win, evil - so I can only conclude this was not to be a nice person from the very beginning. But then, at the end of the battle, she's actually being informative and even a fair sportsman. What a contradiction. ... Green Lanturns? Guardians of the ocean? "In brightest day, in blackest night..." Nice catch. Lisa's jealous, since I haven't seen her make a "proper" one yet! Funny how she almost tried to get Gavin to "return" in a ball. I like Aipom's jealousy - "Hey! That's MY spot!"
    Guilty as charged of the bias - Irene was a bit of a cow, let's face it. Also, I genuinely had no idea what I was alluding to with the Green Lanturn: I literally just wanted to make a shiny one that was green instead of blue. It was only when my early readers responded with "ha, we see what you did there!" that I looked it up and realised the unintentional reference. Interestingly, Green Lantern is now my favourite superhero. Glad you liked Lisa returning Gavin.

    Chapter 11: Been a while since Aipom's nibbled on her ear. And that is one seriously cranky Nurse Joy - I've only ever seen her slightly huffy, not full on grouchy. But evidently her mood doesn't even compare to Lisa's after Jack just vanishes like that. I'd want to hear a "thank you" as well. But even then it wasn't good enough... I like that the smallness of what she's after only catches up to her once she's in his face, as it so often happens in real life. The start of the battle reads more like something out of ASB, and I do like that the Pokemon know more than four attacks. That makes more sense to me. Though why does Lisa get annoyed with him calling for two attacks in a row when she called for three in the very beginning? But she won, so it's all good. And another whirlpool? Well, all right, then...
    Haha, I had never even noticed the hypocrisy before. I'll put it down to Lisa being in the heat of battle. ^_^

    Chapter 12: Knock Gavin out and oh, he can wait. Feh. Poor guy gets no respect. Lisa could demonstrate a little more thanks to him - she can be so awkward sometimes, as I suppose befits someone of her age, experience, and temperament. She gets an Elekid for her trouble? Hot damn, I want one. Gavin's cousins with Sabrina and Will? Yikes. Yes, that would be a fairly cuckoo family. And an odd curse to have to endure. Poor guy, though, always having to look over his shoulder - psychically speaking, I guess.
    Indeed, Gavin's got quite a burden, really, poor dude.

    Chapter 13: There's a bit of a scary experience, waking up somewhere unknown with nary a clue as to how you arrived... at least, at first. The familiar faces must've been a welcome sight. I like Jack's inflections now, slurred and blurry. I note that at first Gavin has no truble running, then suddenly is panting for breath - a sprinter and not a cross-country marathoner, I take it. Nice trigger for his abilities, unbearable pain. May as well use it if he's got it. Moving on to the Cup - rolling my eyes at randomly sexist Lisa. Alicia's hair... green or blonde? I saw it described as both. But I did enjoy the battle; sometimes I wonder if Pokemon just suddenly "know" a move or if they concentrate as you describe Staryu doing.
    I love Jack a lot, I have to say. Yes, Lisa's little thought was quite sexist yet it is quite fitting to how girls are encouraged to view boys, I think.

    Whoa, never noticed the green/blonde hair slip-up before. Will fix - it was meant to be green. I'd wager the descriptive line about the blonde hair was added in during a hurried edit during the second posting of this fic on the ezboard; this version here is the third posting of the fic.

    Chapter 14: At first I was wondering if Lisa was going to catch the Vulpix or not! Seems cruel to leave a Fire-Type Pokemon floating there in the water... all it wanted was a bath, dammit! She's pretty randomly rude, slapping Gavin around, knocking around defenseless Pokemon... I'm never sure whether to like her or hate her. Though I do worry for her after the dude with the knife attacked Irene. ... Ugh, Anna. Awesome battle! Great description and effect. I can visualize it. But - what's to become of Dratini and Psyduck?
    It's so cool to hear feedback on Lisa's character, because to a large extent she seemed a petulant, teenage girl but overall, quite lovely to me when I initially wrote her, then got feedback saying things like, "wow, what a bitch" or "can't believe she said that". Which probably reflects on me a lot more than her. ^_^ I think it's good, she's a tough and carefree kind of character at this stage - maybe because she's fourteen and she hasn't had a whole lot of life experience to shape her yet?

    Chapter 15: Professional commentator, I'll give him that much, but at this point, it's pretty clear it's no longer standard battling environs. Finally Anna tries to help, and Gavin... nobody else wants to throw a Pokemon or two in there? Diffusion of responsibility for the fail. Whoop, spoke too soon... or maybe too late! Fifteen minutes and NOW they come rushing in. Gavin comes to the rescue in a very different way - shame he ends up in a bigger mess than the one he's trying to resolve. Hah, I knew Lisa was liking him. And now Tom knows about Gavin's psychic "problem"? Makes sense, he does train under Morty. But Gavin's trying to blow off the legend as not a big deal... not such a good idea for him.
    Indeed, trying to ignore your demons doesn't banish them in the slightest, only gives them more time to gestate.

    Chapter 16: Hah, stray Water Gun hitting a spectator. I've wondered what happens to attacks that go astray in a colosseum. Gavin thinks Octillery looks happy, then thinks it's too hard to tell? The boy's a mound of indecisiveness, poor guy. Hey, lookie there, a win for him. Nice digs they're in - once again, I enjoy your description, and I also like Gavin's attempt to make the best of a less-than-mediocre setting. I wondered when Lisa would remember that she'd been out to find Legendaries... no kidding, she got massively sidetracked. The "Psyspin" idea fascinates me - up until the point it heads for Quagsire.
    Haha glad you liked the stray Water Gun!

    Chapter 17: Gavin punching himself in the head to activate his abilities? That's sort of asking for it, right there in the middle of the battle. Until that point he had no indication that he could control the amount of energy he unleashes each time it happens. He's ballsy, though, turning it all around on Lisa and Marina by using psychic instructions instead of spoken ones, and letting them think the spoken ones were what he wanted. Ah, well, good show to Lisa. But on to the rest of the fight - it's been a few weeks since Lanturn's capture? Only a few days, I thought... and what in the world? Tentacraw? A ghost jellyfish? Sheesh, keep me away. Lanturn would have some resistance to its own electricity, so I wouldn't expect much damage to it, if any. But it seems it wasn't enough - and probably that's for the best. There'd be too much resentment between Lisa and Gavin if one of them had won. Besides, she and Golduck had done the smart thing by withdrawing from the fight until those two got their issue worked out.
    Yep, Tentacraw is a scary beast. Indeed, Marina played the game very well there - she's quite a good trainer.

    Chapter 18: Heh, that Aipom just can't resist a nip. And I'll be honest, Lisa's reaction was more amusing than anything else - "You're a STALKER!" I'm more curious about Gavin's exploration of the cave, although this Westwood character is exceedingly strange. Lugia? Yes, please... though to find it in a cave would be weird for me, as I'd expect to find it in the water. Perhaps that's part of its strategy, though - keep people from finding it too easily. And... well, if I were Lisa, I wouldn't bother consulting Gavin, either. A room is a room, after all! And... a Ditto? Now that's funny. Looking forward to seeing what happens with the Black Beast - that is to say, Lunanine...
    Westwood is a bit intriguing, isn't he?

    Chapter 19: A sweltering December... I sometimes forget weather on the southern hemisphere opposes that of the north. The story's moved ahead quite some time now. Ha, I knew we'd be seeing Kris and Hiro again - except this seems to be without Hiro for the moment. Poor Gavin, feeling left out of the loop. And now Suicune is behaving even more oddly than before - there's been nothing about its behavior so far that indicates any sort of normalcy when dealing with these kids. Hmm... I wonder what that Raichu was up to. Quite a random encounter. Once again, nice battle. But the aside at the bottom confuses me - if Suicune (and the others, for that matter) can turn invisible, why hasn't it done so on previous occasion so it can be left alone? Why keep appearing to Lisa and Gavin? Guess I'd better keep reading to find out.
    Oh, what a question! Indeed! Read on, my friend.

    Chapter 20: Gavin's less than enthused, I see, but Lisa's got his number. But I wonder how it is Lisa's feeling back at the start of her journey - didn't it have to do with legendaries? She doesn't really seem to know what it is she wants out of the journey. Giving up Vulpix? I wouldn't! But I'm not her. I wonder what's happening to Professor Oak. For that matter, I wonder what's going on with this Rocket - what is it Lisa's been "interfering" with that's set him after her? Not much of a contest for Gavin, but it looks like Julia's feminine wiles (and other attributes) seem to be wowing him. But so much for romance. Maybe he'll be a bit more careful next time! And Lisa gets a Magneton - well, maybe two Electric Pokemon are better than one. And above it all, the burning question: why are the legendaries so interested in her and her friends?
    Why, indeed?

    Too many questions and not enough answers at the end of Book 1. I guess that's why I'll have to keep reading. Congrats, Gavin, you've gotten me into this. Twenty chapters down... fifty-plus to go. Hooray?
    Hahaha, I can only imagine the looming task of fifty chapters - I hope they are all interesting enough to keep you engaged. My writing style develops enormously over the second book, I think, so hopefully it is more captivating from here on in.

    Thanks so much for the Book 1 review, mate. It was awesome to get the feedback and as always, I felt the need to reply, since you took so much time of your own to give me the feedback. Also, getting a full recap on Book 1 was quite helpful for me, it made me re-examine a few things in previous chapters and refresh myself on a few plot points. Some of them are about to be very, very relevant in the next few chapters!

    Thanks Matt for your readership and detailed responses and I hope I have you on board for the rest of this ride!

    Quote Originally Posted by Shadow Wolf View Post
    Well, I have a practice interview in a few hours, so I needed to calm down a bit. Why not read a bit more about LTL?
    Glad that LTL can be of service, my friend!

    You know? I wonder how she managed to hold on for a whole hour. I mean, hanging onto Suicune's fur would be somehow similar to riding a motorcycle, except that you aren't controlling it. Still, it was a fitting description for the legendary pokemon.
    She clung on for dear life!

    This definitely caught my attention. Why would Suicune "need" Lisa, a young and inexperienced trainer? The only thing that came to mind was that, just like a master recognizes a student's potential, Suicune must have felt the potential within Lisa. If this is right, then this promises to be an interesting story.
    I'll say nothing on this subject for fear of ruining the future chapters.

    Lisa might not have notice it, but Suicune had just helped her catch a pokemon, Hey, that's quite a priviledge! To have a legendary pokemon (which does not belong to her) help her... it reminded me of the time Haunter helped Ash with Sabrina. I wonder if I will see a Wooper/Quagsire vs. Suicune battle in a near future?
    True, it was through Suicune's presence that that capture occurred. As for the aforementioned potential battle ... I'll say nothing, either! ^_^

    The rest of the story was simple, so I just followed it while reading normally. But anyways, I have to say that this promises to be interesting. And even though this was written a long time ago, I could feel the ability you had at that time as a writer. I can say for sure that I'll be expecting much from the progress of this story, as well as the progress of your writing skills.
    Thanks Louis! I have to admit I'm torn between thinking "oh man, how crap was I?" and "well, for a thirteen-year-old, it wasn't too shabby, really". So, thanks. I definitely will say that I feel and have received feedback that my writing improves dramatically over the course of Book 2, so I hope you enjoy those chapters when you get to them.

    Thank you so much to both of you. I'm going to go do some final Chapter 72 editing and will post it up later today!

    Cheers!
    ...Quest for the Truth of the Legend ...

    Lisa the Legend

    Winner of 12 Silver Pencil Awards 2011 - Including Best Plot, Best Character in a Leading Role, Best Moment and Best Fic of the Forum for Lisa the Legend!

    Quote Originally Posted by mr_pikachu
    Feel free to withdraw at any time, Gavin.

    Quote Originally Posted by DragoKnight View Post
    ...Far too many references!! You're like the Swiss army knife of discussion.

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