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Thread: Albel The Wicked // **Chapter 12** + Soundtrack + Act One Recap [7th December 2009]

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    Default Albel The Wicked // **Chapter 12** + Soundtrack + Act One Recap [7th December 2009]





    ALBEL THE WICKED


    "After many sleepless nights, I have decided to tell you this story. Embrace it as it is part of history. Of your history."


    Genre: Adventure/Fantasy.
    Rating: 13+.
    Discalimer: 'Albel The Wicked' is a character from 'Star Ocean 3: Til the end of time' whose image and name I've used in this story. I may use other characters from various works in this story but the story itself (storylines and content) is my own work. Enjoy.

    x x x x x x

    Music:

    01. Main Theme
    02. Dangerous Forest
    03. Battle On
    04. Sleepless Night
    05. Bring It On!
    06. Crimson Albel
    07. Hello, Missed You

    x x x x x x

    Table of Contents:

    Act One
    01. The Village Of Roses
    02. The Visitor
    03. Aftermath
    04. Just A Moment
    05. Dangerous Forest
    06. The Last Guardian
    07. Finding A Direction
    08. To Urgan
    09. Stepping Up The Game
    10. Crescendo

    ~ Recap of Act One ~

    Act Two
    11. He Brought A Revelation
    12. The Queen's Request and Kian's Achievement

    x x x x x x


    I have waited a long time to be able to tell you this story. I wasn't sure at first if I should, but I've had more than enough nights to make up my mind. And on one of those nights, I started to write this. I hope that you will read through it, and most of all, I hope you will understand and embrace this. It is part of history. Of your history.

    Please, bear in mind that due to my old age, some of the pieces might be a little bit blurry, while some might be vivid with imagery and details. But all is true.

    All is true.

    ALBEL THE WICKED
    "The Village Of Roses"

    It all began on a bright summer morning. Grandpa Calja woke up after a rather nasty dream. It wasn't the dream itself which was nasty in fact, but waking up from it. He had dreamt of his late wife. When he woke up, he felt almost the same pain he felt the day they buried her. Being the man that he was, he didn't let the sadness win over and channelled it into something else.

    "Foolish sun, why did you have to wake me up? I curse you!" He said as he shook his fist to the window. Then, after getting out of bed, he felt an ache in his back. "Evil bed, you wish my death, don't you? I curse you!"

    He kept cursing everything that annoyed him, until he was dressed and walking towards his Grandson's bedroom. He was certain that Kian (that was his Grandson's name) hadn't woken up yet. So he opened the door, without knocking, and started yelling and lecturing for a minute before realizing that his Grandson's bed was empty.

    "The little thief! Sneaking away like that! I curse you!"

    To be fair to Kian, he didn't really sneak away like a thief. What actually happened was that he woke up quite early, with dawn itself in fact. That was a new tendency he had developed over the past few weeks. He did his usual few exercises, had a healthy breakfast, and prepared for the day. Since it was the weekend, Kian didn't need to be home, as he and his Grandpa agreed that he would help with the Inn only on weekdays (during the holidays) and the afternoons (during school days). And Kian would've told his Grandpa he was already up if the latter wasn't snoring so loud. And Kian knew it was always best not to wake his Grandpa up, unless it was a terrible emergency.

    So, after breakfast and after dressing up that morning, Kian went to the centre of the town. Why the centre? Because it was the busiest place and that was the best spot for Kian to do his job. Well, he called it his job, but his Grandpa called it "foolishness" on more than one occasion. I could just tell you now what job he had, but here is what happened that morning in town. It should answer the question.

    But before I go on, I should just tell you what Kian looked like, so you can picture him better as he is going to be in the story for quite a while. He had brown hair, brown eyes, fair skin, and was quite average in height and weight. Some would say he was a bit shorter than average but it was barely noticeable. He also had a way of dressing up so as to look older than what he really was. He really was sixteen years old. But unfortunately for him, people always thought he looked younger. Some even dared say he looked more to be like thirteen rather than sixteen. What he also carried with him always was a chain whip and a belt with a few bags attached to it. The reason why he had those will be explained in the same event that explains what was the 'job' he had.

    Which brings us back to Kian who was walking around in the middle of Jaarys (that's the town's name) when something caught his attention. Not far from where he was standing, a man was harassing a woman. He smirked and breathed in as he rushed towards the action.

    "Stop right there!" He said to the man. "How dare you attack a poor defenseless woman? You should be ashamed of yourself! I'll make you crawl back to the hole---"

    "Kian? Oh, it's you, Kian!" grinned the woman all of a sudden. Her name was Mrs. Peachpaii, she used to come to Grandpa Calja's Inn quite often on Saturday nights with her husband. He passed away a year ago. She hadn't been to the Inn since. "You're even cuter than I remember. It's been a while! How are---"

    "Silence, woman! Can't you see I'm trying to save you?" Kian snapped back.

    Poor Mrs. Peachpaii looked around, confused. "Save me?" she said. "From what?"

    Kian rolled his eyes as he pointed to the man who was now as confused as Mrs. Peachpaii. He added, just to make sure she would understand, "From this scum attacking you?"

    Mrs. Peachpaii looked at the man and exchanged a smile with him. She then turned her attention back to Kian and said, with a bit of a blushed grin, "That's my good friend Jalz. We tend to playfight quite often." She couldn't help but let out a giggle as well. The man, Jalz, chuckled with her. They were both old, and cute in a way.

    "Why?" Kian asked after a moment of silence, during which he blinked several times at the pair of friends.

    Mrs. Peachpaii was again confused, so she asked, "Why? Why what?"

    Kian stared at her for another moment before, saying, rather loudly, "WHY WOULD YOU PRETEND TO BE IN DANGER WHEN I COULD BE SAVING SOMEBODY'S ELSE'S LIFE? YOU STUPID WOMAN! I'M A HERO! YOU DON'T WASTE HEROES' TIME! STUPID WOMAN!"

    Poor old Mrs. Peachpaii threw her hand to her heart as if it was about to stop as her good friend Jalz quickly got a hold of her, scared she might faint and hurt herself. Some people passing by even stopped to see what was going on.

    Jalz looked at Kian with severe eyes and said, "Now wait a minute, young ma---Hey! Don't walk away!"

    But Kian didn't listen, and kept going.

    We'll leave Kian for a short moment to focus on something else happening at the same time. The event took place on the outskirts of Jaarys. A group of men, eight of them, all masked, were gathered. They were in an isolated area so the odds of somebody walking in on them were very very low. Only two of them spoke.

    "Stop trying to be smarter and stick to the plan, okay?" said the First one. "We really can't afford to make any mistakes here. Do you want the other groups to beat us? Is that what you want?"

    The Second one seemed a bit deflated. "No... course not. But I really think my idea is good. Better than the plan we have at the moment. We can get to the target now. We can be the first group to get to it."

    "You mean, like for our last mission?" replied the First one. "You DO remember our last mission, right? When we decided to trust you and YOUR idea? Do you remember?"

    Again, the Second one seemed even more deflated. "Are you ever going to let that go? It was an honest mistake. Besides, what I'm proposing now is simple logic. It's fail proof!"

    Finally, the First one simply slapped him across the face. The other masked men went 'Ooh!', but silently. The Second one lowered his face. He couldn't retaliate, as the First one was his superior after all.

    "Good, now, focus! We have to be ready when the time comes! All right?" the First one said. The Second one nodded. Then the First one turned to the other masked men and they also nodded.

    Now that's done, let's go back to Kian, who was now in the company of his friends. Well, he called them his 'associates'. They were not close enough to him to be called proper friends. Kian didn't mind it, neither did his associates either. Those associates were: Jesse (a fairly obese girl with purple hair), Dallo (a boy with hairy pimples on his face) and Dyeran (a boy with black skin, the only boy in Jaarys with black skin actually). Those three kids were outcasted by the other kids and they sort of found each other and stuck with each other. And when Kian wanted some help in his quest for heroism, he was turned down by all those he deemed worthy of being his companions. So, in the end, he tried with those three and they accepted. In exchange for their information about anything related to heroic actions or things revolving around heroism, Kian would give them some money (he'd save up his pocket money for that) or sweet foods or other little things that would interest the three outcasts.

    Those three kids, who were all of the same age as Kian except for Dyeran who was two years younger, were outcasted for different reasons. Jesse, whose unfortunate obesity was due mostly to a family illness, was always befriended because people felt sorry for her. One day she snapped (she couldn't stomach the fact that everybody was nice to her because they pitied her) and caused a very hysterical scene at a school outing. Since then, nobody ever tried to befriend her.

    Dallo, on his very first day at school, was teased by two other boys because of the hairy pimples on his face. He was so hurt that he never believed anybody would want to be friends with him. And even though many tried to be afterwards, he just wouldn't talk to them and always stayed in a corner by himself. And when the loneliness became too much for him, he tried talking again, but since it had been so long since the last time he had a friend, he didn't know how to do it anymore. And whether he liked it or not, the others gave him what he wanted: he became invisible to them.

    As for Dyeran, well, ever since he transfered to Jaarys' school (he was originally from another town, another country even), he wanted to be treated differently from the others. He didn't fail to notice that his skin was the only one which was darker than the others, so therefore he felt special (which never happened where he came from) and always expected preferential treatment. He wanted his classmates to always do what he wanted, to give him their toys and sweet foods, and other things. At first the others humoured him as he was new to town and to the country, but then they got sick of his attitude and they all ignored him. He told them they were underneath him and that he didn't need them. But like Dallo, the loneliness got to him rather quickly, and like Dallo, it seemed that it was too late to repair the damage.

    There was a river in Jaarys, it was called the Shantay River. It is said that the river had a magical property to it. It would call to all the lost souls in the area so that once gathered they wouldn't be alone anymore. Nobody ever knew if it was true or not. They knew that the river was a place for the 'bad eggs' of Jaarys to gather late at night when everybody else was asleep. But, Kian would say later that indeed, the river was magic, because it was there that he met three lost souls, just like him. He would go there to think and train, and one day, he met The Three Outcasts who came to have a picnic there. Ever since then, it became the place where they would meet to share info and whatnot.

    "Apparently someone nearly killed an old woman this morning," said Dallo with a grin. "She was almost shocked to death by some 'hero'".

    Kian glared at him but with the hint of a smile. "She was an idiot and she wasted my time. I don't feel sorry for that kind of people," he replied. "Anyway, do you guys have anything? Some runaway criminal? A murderer on the loose? A well known thief who stopped by our town? Anything?"

    The Three Outcasts looked at each other not knowing what to say, which, of course, was enough of an answer for Kian. He sighed and kicked a rock into the river. "I'm never going to accomplish anything here. This is the middle of nowhere! How am I supposed to become a hero when there is nothing to be done and no one to be saved?!"

    "How 'bout helping out people in their shops and stuff?" proposed Dyeran. "I mean, it's not heaps heroic, but at least it'd be a start." He was going to say more but a look from Kian stopped him from doing so.

    "I've been thinking..." said Kian, and he was going to say more but he decided not to. Instead he grabbed a few rocks and started throwing them in the river. He sighed. Another boring day in a boring town.

    "Actually, I heard about something," said Jesse as she took a bite of a diet biscuit. "Well, more 'seen something' than heard about it." Kian looked at her and urged her to go on. "There's this visitor who came in town early this morning, he came by the shop to buy some food. He said he wanted to wander in the forest. We told him it was dangerous and it would be best for him to go with a group but he didn't listen. I haven't seen him around town since then. And he's someone quite easy to spot I think." She blushed a little as she said that last bit. But none of the boys noticed it.

    "A visitor in danger, eh?" Kian said, more to himself than to his associates. "It's better than nothing, I guess. I'll go and check it out. I'll meet up with you guys later. Cool? Oh, and here's your payment." He threw a little bag at them, it was filled with sweet foods. "Keep your eyes and ears open."

    With that, he left them and headed towards the Forest. It was unofficially forbidden to go into the Forest, especially if you were by yourself. The Forest was rather big and dense and it was rather easy to get lost if you didn't know your way well. Also, as the Forest was dense and almost like a labyrinth, it was a prime location choice for thieves. Now and again, the Jaarys Guards would patrol the Forest, but as it was a little town, most of the time, the Forest would remain unguarded as all the Guards (the few that they were) stayed in town.

    Kian was used to the Forest. His Grandpa had a map and he took it (without asking, as he knew his Grandpa wouldn't approve) and used it to navigate through the dangerous maze. It could be a rather daunting place that Forest as most of the trees were tall and big, and if they weren't, they were bushy with branches everywhere. Kian spent a lot of time in the Forest, and in the end, the map became useless to him. He knew the Forest like the back of his hand. He was quite proud of that.

    Finding the visitor would prove to be a tedious task, as Kian assumed he got lost so he could be anywhere. Kian never believed in chance, but sometimes, he had no choice but to leave things to the whim of randomness. He wandered around, hoping to encounter the visitor. He had to kill a few wild insects along the way too. They were more annoying than harmful at least. Frustration started to get the better of the teenage boy as he killed a rather nasty looking flying bug with his chain whip.

    Finally though, luck finally showed its face. Kian heard shouting not far from where he was, so he rushed towards it. He then carefully approached what was this time, a real fight. Or rather, a real mugging. A big man was threatening a young man (Kian couldn't really see) who was on the ground.

    "No need to be mean," said the young man, his voice shaking a bit. "You got the money, surely that makes your heart happy and not all 'I want to kill', right?"

    The big man grinned a disgusting grin as he replied, "I haven't tasted blood in a long while."

    "Taste blood?" the young man chuckled nervously. "Mine doesn't taste very good. I eat like a pig and I drink bad stuff. Really, you'd be best not tasting my blood."

    But obviously the big man wasn't listening. Kian smirked as he jumped, cracking his chain whip to let himself be seen. The big man looked at him, surprised. The young man looked just as surprised.

    "You look ripe!" the big man grinned again, looking at Kian. "Two ripe fruits in one day. This is my lucky day!" He added as he tightened his grip on a rather big knife.

    "I wouldn't be so sure," replied Kian, a smirk still on his face.

    "Why don't we just talk about this, hmm? Fighting is so violent and ugly. Not to mention pointless." The young man said with a grin as he crawled away with his hands up from them. They both looked at him.

    "Shut up," said Kian. "I'm saving your life!" And with that Kian cracked his chain whip and attacked the big man. It was quick. Kian knocked the knife out of the big man's hand with his first whip crack and then quickly kicked him in his gut. The big man was thrown off by the hit and stumbled back. And when the big man looked at Kian's face, he saw a faint glow in his eyes. That seemed to surprise him, and in a very bad way.

    "Y-You have a..." the big man started saying but was unable to finish it as Kian knocked him out with another chain whip attack.

    "Heh, now that's more like it!" Kian exclaimed with joy as he cracked his whip in victory. He smiled and admired his work before attaching his whip back on his belt.

    "Wow, that was quite impressive," said the visitor as he got back on his feet.

    That's when Kian finally had a better look at him. The visitor who seemed no older than twenty had black hair with what seemed to be blond tips, steel blue eyes, fair skin and was dressed in a dark purple top (his belly was bare), long sleeved gloves of the same colour on his arms (his left arm had protection on it and with what seemed to be claws) and what looked to Kian as a skirt (still the same colour) open on the left side and attached by a red belt and flat black thigh (it covered half of them) high boots. The visitor also had shoulder and knee protection. It was strange to Kian, as the visitor looked half warrior and half...

    "That's an... interesting outfit," Kian commented with the hint of a harsh tone to his voice. He thought the visitor looked rather girly, which he didn't like at all.

    "Oh, thanks! That's nice of you to say!" the visitor replied with a happy grin, obviously not noticing the harsh tone. "You look quite nice yourself! Hehehe!"

    Kian made a few steps back. "Please don't talk like that."

    "Hmm?" The visitor smiled. "What's your name? Mine's Albel!"

    "I'm Kian the Mighty," replied Kian almost absent mindedly. Then a look of shock appeared on his face. "W-what did you just say?"

    "What now?" the visitor asked, never losing his warm smile.

    "Your name is... Albel? It can't... be. No way. You're not 'him', are you?" Kian asked, rather scared. Scared more of the answer rather than if it was really who he thought it was.

    "That's a funny question," replied Albel, grinning. "I am me, hehehe. You're so cute. Definitely the village of roses, I came to, you're the cutest of them all!"

    Kian threw his map at Albel and walked away. "I knew it," he thought. "But why would he name himself like that? Or worse, who's the dumb woman who named her child like that?" He sighed. "That guy was annoying though. I can't stand people like him. Ugh." Kian hated that his town was called 'The village of roses'. It sounded so stupid. The reason the town was named so was because of a man. He wanted to win his love's heart so he planted the most beautiful roses you ever laid your eyes on, shaped in a big heart on the greenest field of Jaarys. Roses of all colours were used and all of them were beautiful. That was a long time ago, and people started calling the town 'the village of roses' as every year, at the same date the man unveiled his gift to his love, lovers would offer roses to each other. A tradition which travelled through the country and others as well. Kian hated that. He hated being in the town that created that horrid tradition. And most of all, he couldn't believe a man would plant roses. That was disgusting to him.

    After that encounter, Kian didn't feel like going back home or anything. So he did what he always did, he went to his favourite spot. It was the spot he went to when he wanted to think (about important things or just things in general), to reflect and sometimes (when he was sure no one was looking) have a bit of a cry if he needed to. But most of all, it was where he and his best friend used to hang out the most. The spot was on the hill near the Forest, it was rather rocky, so not many people went there. And since it was in the open, thieves didn't care to do their work around that area. It was a good spot if you knew how to get there.

    "I miss you," he whispered as the wind softly (and warmly) blew on his face. He was thinking about his best friend. Her name was Sodi. She was fun, bright, strong and always up for adventures. And like Kian, she liked to fight. She was not too bad at it (for a girl, thought Kian). It was her who pushed Kian into fighting actually, and she showed him how boring and stupid his hometown was. She was there for only a year because of her father who had to work in Jaarys. They met at the Shantay River, which used to be the place where Kian would think, reflect and cry. Sodi once caught him crying and told him how ugly it was when a boy cried.

    Kian stayed on the rocky hill for a long while before making his way back to his Grandpa's Inn. He thought of meeting up with the Three Outcasts to tell them what happened in the Forest but decided not to. The story in the end seemed more embarassing than heroic, he thought. It could wait until the next time they were to meet up.

    When Kian got to the Inn, he stopped dead in his tracks. Fear crawled all over his face and eyes because at the counter, checking in, was Albel. Grandpa Calja even seemed to be having a warm conversation with the visitor. Kian remained speechless, even when Albel noticed him and grinned, saying, "Hey little cutie! You staying at this Inn too? How lucky!"

    Kian glared back at him and said, harshly, "What are you doing here?!"

    Grandpa Calja gasped and apologized to the visitor. "Please, forgive my Grandson," he said, "he is having one of his moods! I've raised him better than this!"

    "I'M NOT HAVING A MOOD!" yelled Kian, before taking a breath. "I'm just asking what is this guy doing here."

    Albel chuckled and patted Grandpa Calja on the back. "What a cute thing! If he was a pet, I'd so keep him. Hee!" He said, which brought a big smile on the old man's face.

    If it had been biologically possible, fumes would've been coming out from Kian's ears by this point.

    "To answer your question," said Albel, his smile never fading in warmth, "I saw the address of this Inn on the map you gave me in the Forest."

    Kian sighed as Grandpa Calja was now the one yelling, "W-WHAT?! YOU WENT INTO THE FOREST AGAIN?? AND YOU TOOK MY BLOODY MAP?? YOU SNEAKY LITTLE BASTARD! I CURSE YOU!"

    "Oops, sorry," whispered Albel in Kian's ears. "Didn't know it was a secret."

    Kian jumped as he didn't see Albel move. He then quickly stepped away from the visitor.

    "So, Grandpa," said Albel as if nothing was the matter. "Do I get a room?"

    Kian shook his head violently at his Grandpa, and obviously not in a discreet way. Grandpa Calja grinned and handed the visitor a key.

    "Welcome to the Village of Roses!" exclaimed the old man with pride.

    Kian wished he was at his favourite spot still...

    ...so he could have a bit of a cry.


    Later that night, in an isolated spot, the group of masked men that I mentioned earlier, were discussing their plan.

    They were to act soon. Very soon.
    Last edited by Cadmus; 6th December 2009 at 12:36 PM.

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    Default Re: Albel The Wicked

    It's great to see some new blood! ^-^ Welcome aborde! I like how you have your music theme there. It's a good chapter-story you have goin' here.
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    Default Re: Albel The Wicked

    Thank you a lot for reading and taking time to post a response. I appreciate it.

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    You're welcome! ^_^ Always glad too! Hehe!
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    Default Re: Albel The Wicked

    Finally got around to replying to this.

    I loved the opening. You've thrown a tonne of mystery at the reader with regards to who is narrating the beginning. Someone old, evidently. I wonder why it's important that we be told 'all is true' - is a future event going to make us dubious of this storyteller's veracity?

    The scene with Grandpa Calja at the beginning was a nice touch, too. We get a bit of backstory on his character through a dream, which makes it feel less contrived than having you just baldly tell the reader at some point that Calja's wife passed away. The "I curse you!" touch was cool, a bit juvenile, but it made for a nice comic effect.

    Grammatically, this was pretty sound. It's presented almost perfectly, with good spelling. One of the few things that stood out was the use of the phrase, "that was a new tendency he took in the past few weeks". It just doesn't ring true, and I'm not entirely sure how to substitute it. Maybe "a new tendency he had developed over the past few weeks" or "a new regime he had taken up in the past few weeks". Similarly, "the same event that explains what was the 'job' he had" jars unpleasantly - the bolded part, that is. Maybe try "the same event that explains what 'job' he had", or "the same event that explains what the 'job' was that he had". There was a bit of tense-swapping, too, where you went from past to present accidentally, such as when you mentioned Mrs. Peachpaii - it should have been "she hadn't been to the Inn since", not "she hasn't".

    Not to be a grammar nazi ... but I'll also add that when the first masked man was talking, he should have said "We really can't afford to make any mistakes ...

    Incidentally, I loved the quote: ' "Silence, woman! Can't you see I'm trying to save you?" Kian snapped back.' Hehe.

    Kian is an interesting character. Apparently the hero, and obsessed with heroism, and yet he forms himself a gang of minions who he keeps in his employ by offering them money and food, in much the same way as criminal gangs stereotypically do. As for the gang, I usually don't like lists of description or backstory for each character, but in this case, I think it suited the Lewis-esque writing style you had going here. I ended up feeling really sorry for Dallo, at least until he started speaking. ^_^

    Speaking of the writing style, it took me a little while to adjust to the instructional approach you take. Rather than keeping the narrator as just that, it's almost as if he becomes a character (which, considering the opening monologue, does kind of make sense). Still, it's an unusual approach, one that reminds me a lot of C.S. Lewis, and some readers might be turned off at first. For my part, I've warmed to it (I liked the Chronicles of Narnia) and so I don't mind being guided by a narrator, even if it does give a slightly childish vibe to the story - again, like Narnia.

    I liked the uneven dynamic between Kian and Albel, too. Maybe it's because of his notions of heroism, but Kian seems either repulsed or afraid of Albel's unusual attitude and dress sense. You seemed to underscore that theme when you mentioned Kian's disgust at the man planting roses. This could be interesting: you're setting up a traditional chauvinistic hero, but presenting that chauvinism in a non-traditional negative light. And Albel's spirit is very refreshing in this kind of story, and it cracks me up. The next chapter is going to be interesting - the dynamic between those two characters should make for a lot of comic effect, I suspect.

    All in all, this is a solid first chapter, dude. There are a few areas that need work, but the plot is bound to pick up in pace, and the interactions between the characters seem destined for all kinds of drama and comedy.

    Looking forward to the next installment!

    Oh, and welcome to the fanfic forum, once again.

    Cheers!

    EDIT: OK, so I don't set a great example for the whole "replies don't need to take a long time" line.
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    Default Re: Albel The Wicked

    Whoa, that's quite a long review! Heh. Thanks a lot, Gavin. I'll correct or alter some of the things you pointed out. Hope my other chapters will get such detailed reviews as well. (I'm not greedy!). Thanks again, Gavin!

    Chapter 2 is on its way... ^^!

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    Default Chapter 2

    Like clockwork, Kian woke up that Monday morning with dawn itself. Though it must be said that he didn't have a good sleep at all. You see, the night before, Albel and Grandpa Calja had stayed up late, chatting and playing board games. They had even had a few drinks. Well, more than a few to be honest. Kian could hear them laughing like maniacs from his room. It made him sigh and turn in his bed non-stop. So, waking up with dawn wasn't such a big feat, but the fact that he didn't feel like sleeping in sure was. He didn't want to see more of Albel and even less of Albel and his Grandpa getting along like best friends.

    So, Kian got up as he had been doing in the past few weeks, and went outside to train with his chain whip. He also did a few set of kicks and punches, just to keep fresh. It always made him feel good. The training that is. After that he went to the bathroom for a quick shower before heading into the kitchen for a quick and healthy breakfast. He even managed to smile a little, hoping to do some heroic actions today. But that smile died down as soon as he stepped into the kitchen.

    ALBEL THE WICKED
    "The Visitor"
    2

    "Hey, little cutie!" Albel said with a grin which looked almost childish. "Had a good sleep?" He asked as he sipped on a hot drink. It smelled like coffee.

    The radio was turned on, at a low volume. The latest song by Original Doll was playing.

    "...not really," replied Kian as he opened a cupboard. He took out a box of big biscuits and grabbed two of them. "Too much noise," he added as he poured milk in a bowl to dip his biscuits in.

    "Hee, we did have a good bucket of fun with Calja," Albel said with a giggle that made Kian cringe. "He has some good stories too! I love stories!"

    "...good for you," Kian said coldly as he ate his biscuits real quick. "Anyway," he added after drinking the milk in his bowl and throwing the bowl in the sink, "I'm off. You... have a good day." Kian forced a smile as he walked away. But.

    "Hold on."

    Kian froze.

    He then turned around, his eyes wide.

    "Grandpa...?" He said. "You're up... already?!"

    Old Calja nodded with a stern face. "The world belongs to those who rise early," he said. "Always believed so." He then hummed along to the song playing on the radio.

    "...since when?" Kian asked back, raising his eyebrows.

    "Hush!" Grandpa Calja put his hand up. "Don't think for a second that I forgot how rude you were yesterday. Not only were you rude to our guest, but you also ignored your grandfather all night by locking yourself in your room. And let's not forget that you STOLE my Forest map and went in the said Forest WITHOUT my permission!"

    Kian rolled his eyes with a sigh. "If I hadn't gone in that Forest, your new best friend here would have been killed. So, really, you should THANK me, not YELL at me!"

    "Boy, you got some nerve!" Grandpa Calja was red in the face. "I curse you! No, wait. I've a better idea! You, my dear Grandson, are going to be my new best friend's tour guide! Show him the nice places and spots of our lovely town."

    "Sounds like fun!" Albel grinned, finishing his coffee.

    Kian's face went pale before he suddenly grinned at his Grandpa. "G-Grandpa, come on, that's a bit harsh. I'm sorry if... I was rude... but I'm busy... besides, it's always best to leave the... tourists to explore by themselves... it's more fun. Don't be so mean. Let Mr. Albel have his fun."

    Grandpa Calja stared back at his Grandson, not moving a muscle. Half a minute went by. Albel watched the scene, looking somewhat curious at what was going on. Kian held his grin but as his Grandpa kept his silence, he knew he had no choice.

    "Follow me, Mr. Albel..." Kian said, almost whining, as he walked off.

    "Just call me Albel," said the visitor with a smile as he followed. "See you soon, Calja," he added, waving at the old man who smiled back.

    Kian figured as he was heading into the town centre anyway, it wouldn't be such a pain to have Albel tagging along. But Albel didn't stop asking questions on the way. He wanted to know, it seemed, everything about the village of roses. Kian coldly replied that there wasn't much to know. "Just that stupid gift of love story," he said. But Albel didn't seem to be phased by Kian's harsh view of his hometown.

    "I want to see that water fountain. You know, with the different colours and petals?" Albel asked to see various things that the town was known for. To some people anyway. Kian was surprised Albel knew about those 'monuments' when they weren't that special anyway. He figured Albel was probably from a neighbouring town. Probably from Lancaac. Weirdos usually come from there thought, Kian.

    "I curse you, Grandpa." Kian mutterred under his breath.

    Do you remember that I told you in the previous chapter how sometimes the Town Guards would patrol the Forest to make sure things were okay? Well, today was one of those times. Two Guards: Alto and Saxo (their parents were music lovers) started their patrol an hour ago. It wasn't their first time walking around that infamous Forest. They knew that once the Guards are spotted going into the Forest or spotted in the Forest itself, thieves and other bad guys hide away.

    "How boring," said Alto with a deep sigh. "You remember what I told you the other day? About that transfer?"

    "Oh yeah, I remember you saying that you've put in your request," replied Saxo. "You've already got an answer?"

    Alto nodded with a grin. "Indeed! As from next month, I'll be in DAYZIIR. I can't wait!"

    But that wasn't good news for Saxo. "Wow... Heh. You always talked about going there. It's definitely your kind of place." He felt a lump in his throat. "Guess I will have to find myself a new partner, eh?"

    With a raised eyebrow Alto asked back, "Wait, so you don't want to come?" Saxo was now confused. "I also asked for your transfer. I was a bit sneaky but eh, we're best friends, right? I'm sure you'll forgive me."

    Saxo's face beamed up, and he wanted to thank his friend. He also wanted to go to a more exciting place. But unfortunately for them, they bumped into a group of masked men. And before they could do anything, the masked men attacked.

    After they were done, they hid the bodies in the bushes.

    At the Shantay River, The Three Outcasts were waiting for their 'heroic' leader to show up. They sat under a tree and were enjoying a bag of candy brought by Dyeran. He also brought a small bag of diet candy for Jesse.

    "It's so hot today," Dallo whined. "Maybe we could go for a swim in the river? That'd be so cool. So cool. Get it?" He chuckled at his pun.

    "Yeah, it cools you down before it starts eating your flesh," Dyeran said back. "Don't you know that the water is toxic?"

    "Oh, ha ha. As if. They would put up a barrier around it if the water was poisonous. I'm not that dumb!" Dallo smirked back.

    "Who says there isn't one?" Dyeran asked, smirking as well.

    "Whatever." Dallo threw a candy in his mouth.

    "Well maybe---"

    "Oh, stop it, Dye. He's not buying it." Jesse intervened with a grin.

    "Shut it, fat ass!" Dyeran glared at Jesse. "Yes, I went THERE!"

    Jesse glared back as she threw herself on Dyeran who wasn't quick enough to dodge the attack. He was now suffocating under the weight of the obese girl. "Who's the bitch? Say it!" She said, almost screaming, with a big smile.

    "I am! I am! Get off me!" Dyeran laughed back.

    As they settled back under the tree and ate more candy, they chatted about this and that and then the discussion became about their leader.

    "So, do you guys have new info to share?" Dallo asked.

    "Nope," replied Jesse.

    "Nope here too," added Dyeran.

    Dallo chuckled as he commented, "He's not going to be very happy. I expect big sighs and a long rant."

    "Well, there's not much we can do about it, you know," said Dyeran, biting a licorice. "But yeah, definitely a long rant coming up." He smiled.

    Jesse cringed as she took a bite of her diet candy. "I wonder if he helped that visitor in the end." She looked at her friends.

    "I don't think so." Dallo was playing with a candy, he wasn't really hungry but it kept him busy. "He would've contacted us immediately to tell us the story." He ate the candy. "You know how he is."

    There was a silent agreement.

    Then Dyeran asked, "Do you think he's going to leave town?" His question surprised Dallo. "I heard Osea is leaving next week. You know, the girl with the scar on her cheek? She's like the fifth person to leave town in the past two months."

    "Huh? What makes you think that?" Dallo asked back. "Did he tell you anything? Kian, I mean. Did he say anything about leaving?"

    Jesse rolled her eyes. "Does he really need to?" She asked, looking at Dallo. "You've heard him talk. Or rant, as you say." She turned her gaze to the flowing river. "He's bored. We know he's good at fighting. I believe he'll either join the Town Guards and then move to another town, or simply just go to another city."

    Those words didn't sit right with Dallo. No, he didn't like them at all. "In any case," he said, "he wouldn't leave anytime soon. He'd tell us first. You know, so we can prepare to go along with him. We're his sidekicks!"

    Both Jesse and Dyeran exchanged a look. Dallo didn't need to ask them what that was about. It was easy to read. But he still wished they would back him up. That way, the doubt in his heart wouldn't grow stronger. He stayed silent after that. So did the two others. They stayed silent for a while.

    "Geez, you guys look so depressed!" Kian finally appeared. "What's with the long faces?"

    Dyeran grinned and said, "We have no new info. So we thought we'd look sad so you wouldn't be too angry at us."

    "Way to go genius," Dallo smiled. "You were not supposed to TELL him."

    Jesse smiled too, but she couldn't say anything. She felt like she was about to cry if she utterred a single word.

    Kian sighed and said, "Well, I'm already angry anyway."

    But before he could explain, somebody else joined the group.

    "There you are!" Albel appeared, grinning. "What happened? One moment I'm in the museum with you, the next I'm all alone. Thankfully the people in this town are very nice. Some old lady saw you run in this direction, so I followed you. That's a nice spot. Was this our next stop? Did you want to make it more fun for me? Is that why you ran away? Aw, Kian, you're such a cutie! Hee!"

    The Three Outcasts blinked at the visitor. Kian was fuming, his fists balled up.

    Albel introduced himself to the group. They all seemed shocked when he said his name but Kian quickly added that the visitor wasn't 'that' Albel. The Three Outcasts greeted him. They started chatting. Albel told them how much he was enjoying the town. Jesse was blushing as she looked at the visitor and Dallo noticed. He silently agreed with her. Kian was still fuming and when he saw that his associates were busy talking with Albel, he discreetly escaped. He went into the Forest and headed to his favourite spot. He wanted to be away from them, from everything. He needed it.

    He took his time though to get to the rocky hill. He knew today was Guard patrol day so there wouldn't be any thieves around. Kian wished that wasn't the case, so he could blow off some steam. Things were not going as he planned. He thought he would've accomplished more by now. That he'd be on his way out of Jaarys. The urge to get his frustration out somehow was slowly overpowering him. But he knew he had to wait until he got to his spot. That was the only place he allowed himself to be 'weak'.

    Once he got to the rocky hill, he climbed to the space he usually hung out at. He breathed in and out. It was nearing late afternoon by then. He was about to let himself go and let the frustration out, but a voice interrupted him.

    "I'm going to end up thinking that you don't like me."

    The teenage boy turned around, his eyes lit up with fury. "Dammit! STOP FOLLOWING ME!" He yelled at the visitor.

    Albel grinned and replied, "That's not possible." He then pointed at Kian with his finger with a 'the reason why is so obvious' look on his face. "You're my tour guide! I'm supposed to follow you! Hee!"

    Through gritted teeth, Kian said, "This is MY spot! No one else comes here."

    "Oh?" Albel looked puzzled. "Did you buy it? How much did it cost? I was thinking of buying a house here maybe. Not that I have the money to but if you can buy land at a cheap price, that could work out. I don't mean that since you bought this piece of land it means that it's cheap but I'm guessing that even here, teenagers can't afford to buy property unless you're quite wealthy then of course---"

    "SHUT UP!" Kian yelled back. "Just forget it. Go away. I want to be on my own right now." He turned his back on Albel.

    "Why? Are you sad? Did something happen?" the visitor asked. "Do you want to talk about it? I'm a good listener you know!"

    "For fuck's sake!" Kian said, almost with a sigh. "Don't you understand what I'm saying? Are you trying to drive me mad?!"

    Albel giggled. "Why would I do such a thing?" He asked. "Hey! Why don't we have a picnic here? Wish I brought some food along. Oh, wait. I do have some candy that your friend gave me. Though I suspect they might not be very yummy. See, they're diet candy. You wanna---"

    "GO AWAY! GET LOST!" Kian yelled at the top of his lungs as he turned around to face the visitor. "YOU FR---"

    Kian looked pale. Albel looked back at him funny, but then he noticed that Kian wasn't actually looking at him. Albel turned around and saw it too. Flames.

    Jaarys was in flames.

    Kian didn't lose any more time and rushed down the rocky hill into the Forest. He ran as fast as he could. He wasn't thinking, just running. And when he finally reached the town, he stopped to witness the horror before his eyes. Houses were in flames. People were screaming, running everywhere. Utter chaos. Town Guards were trying their best to help the people but even themselves looked like they needed help. That's when Kian noticed a fireball going past him towards a house. He looked at the origin point and saw two masked men. They were attacking the Town Guards.

    Kian unravelled his chain whip, ready to help, but then he remembered. "Grandpa!" He whispered as he rushed to his house. And again, Kian was slapped in the face with intense shock as he saw his home burning down. He let out a scream as he forced his way in, yelling for his Grandpa. The way to his own room was now blocked and it was getting hotter and hotter by the minute. Kian was forced to get out. He kept screaming and screaming. Then somebody grabbed his arm. Mrs. Peachpaii.

    "Have you seen my Grandpa?" Kian immediately asked her.

    She was frantic, her hand on her heart. "That old fool! He's fighting them off!!" The poor old woman then kept running. She was screaming for her friend, "Jalz!"

    With a tight grip on his chain whip, Kian rushed around the area to look for his Grandpa. Everywhere he looked there was destruction. It felt like he was living a nightmare. And there was a constant buzzing sound. Like a machine. A motor. The smoke made it harder and harder to breathe as well.

    But, finally...

    "Grandpa!" Kian saw the old man fighting with a group of masked men. They were three. Or four. Kian couldn't tell for sure with all the smoke. He quickly joined in the fight. He cracked his whip and attacked two of the men at once.

    "KIAN, NO!!" the old Calja screamed as he cut one of his opponents with the sharp end of a spear. But his Grandson wasn't listening. "Damn you!" Calja threw at him as he kept fighting off his opponents. They were tough.

    Too tough.

    Kian barely saw it happen. His Grandpa was hit at once by three attacks. It was something that the teenage boy had never seen. The attacks were almost like thunderbolts. And in that moment of distraction, Kian's opponents hit him with attacks of their own. Kian fell back. He could taste blood in his mouth and a sharp pain in his chest. His breathing got even harder. But all he could think of was to turn to see if his Grandpa was okay. The old man was lying on the ground, unconscious it seemed. The masked men were ready to give him the killing blow.

    And once more, Kian was hit with something. But not with an attack.

    Shock.

    Out of nowhere, the visitor, Albel jumped in and slashed away at the masked men with a sword. A long and thin sword. Samurai like. There was something different about him now. Even through the smoke and heat, Kian could see it. There was a glow in Albel's eyes. It looked somewhat golden. The masked men all focused on him, they tried that thunderbolt attack. Albel dodged it, at the last second. Then he lashed out and cut through them. They were bleeding profusely.

    "MOVE OUT!" a voice yelled through the chaos and instantly, the masked men jumped on their motobikes (Kian hadn't noticed them before) and made their escape. Albel wasn't going to let them go that easily though. He grabbed a rock and threw it at the mass of masked men leaving. One of them fell down from his motobike. The others kept running away. A Town Guard quickly hit the fallen masked man with what looked like a hammer.

    Kian stood back up, with some difficulty as he saw Albel kneeling down near Grandpa Calja. Albel then looked back at Kian, his eyes, his look, it was different. Colder. Harsh. Cruel almost. A few tears rolled down the teenage boy's face.

    "You really are..." Kian whispered. "Albel the Wicked."
    Last edited by Cadmus; 13th August 2008 at 12:39 AM.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Albel The Wicked // Chapter 2 is up!

    Yes, I'm late in replying again.

    Nice to see a new chapter. I'm getting more into the swing of this writing style, and it's feeling less foreign and more like it might belong with this story.

    I should probably leave this to mr_pikachu to deal with, but there was a sort of problem with your tenses at times. "You see, the night before, Albel and Grandpa Calja stayed up late, chatting and playing board games. They even had a few drinks."

    I'm no expert, but as far as I'm aware, seeing as you're telling the story in the past tense, if you're referring to a past event in that story, you'll have to jump back further in the past and say: "Albel and Grandpa Calja had stayed up late..." and "They had even had a few drinks." It's an easy enough mistake with a second language, and it takes awhile to get your head around, but once you're aware of the rule it should get easier with practice.

    (BRIAN - Am I right with that grammar advice? ^_^)

    I liked the interaction with Kian and Albel in the morning. They're such opposites. Albel's upbeat attitude is very attractive; Kian's too moody. But those traits work best when forced to coexist, I think. Good job.

    I think the description of Kian eating his breakfast "real quick" sounded too casual for prose, at least for this style. It sounds more verbal than written.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cadmus
    Weirdos usually come from there thought Kian.
    Nice quote there. Needs a comma after 'there', though, I believe.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cadmus
    "Alto and Saxo (their parents were music lovers)..."
    XD.

    ... Well, that was nasty to kill such apparently comedic characters.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cadmus
    "Shut it, fat ass!" Dyeran glared at Jesse. "Yes, I went THERE!"

    Jesse glared back as she threw herself on Dyeran who wasn't quick enough to dodge the attack. He was now suffocating under the weight of the obese girl. "Who's the bitch? Say it!" She said, almost screaming, with a big smile.

    "I am! I am! Get off me!" Dyeran laughed back.
    Well, that made me chuckle.

    I like the progression of the character stuff in the first part of the chapter. Albel is a total smart-arse; Calja is a crazy old man, but kind-hearted and well-intentioned; Kian is the brooding protagonist. I have to say, the sudden explosion of action was perfect in this chapter: it really needed something strong to kick off the plot, and it worked well. The way you wrote simply "Jaarys was in flames" was more effective than any long-winded prose.

    Overall, this was a fairly solid second chapter. There's still a sort of juvenile aspect to the story in a few ways, but the subject matter is getting darker, so that might translate to the writing style as time goes on. I would love more description of these events: rather than being told that Albel "cut through them" and the men were bleeding profusely, maybe we could've got a more descriptive image of how he approached them to cut them. Did they try to block? Swear? What did the blood look like? What was Kian's reaction to such a gruesome sight?

    Looking forward to seeing the developments of this fic in chapter three; keep up the good work!

    Cheers!
    Last edited by Gavin Luper; 12th August 2008 at 10:45 AM.
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  9. #9
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    Default Re: Albel The Wicked // Chapter 2 is up!

    Oh, a new review, awesome! ^^

    Thanks Gavin for your (detailed) feedback. That's always nice. I corrected the grammar mistakes in the chapter. So, thanks for pointing them out.

    As for the descriptive style, it's true that I tend to be minimalistic usually, which is not really a good thing I suppose when you write prose, so I'll try and keep your advice in mind. Try and describe more, without overdoing it.

    I'm glad you enjoyed that chapter. I hope you'll enjoy the next one as well. It'll bring a bit of a change, so hopefully that won't turn you (or the other readers) off.

    Thanks again!

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    Default 03 - Aftermath

    It could've been just a moment. Kian stood still, frozen by shock. Ashes, flames, screams, heat... They were all bullying him. He wanted to move and rush to his Grandpa, who was still unsconscious on the ground, but his muscles didn't obey his will.

    At the same time, Albel checked on Grandpa Calja. He checked the pulse and the breathing. Then he caught the eye of a wounded Town Guard who seemed to be looking for something to do. The Town Guard approached and Albel and him exchanged a few words, then the Guard took the old man and carried him away.

    Kian wanted to speak, but again, his body betrayed him. Albel stared at the teenage boy for a moment before walking towards him. Kian's vision blurred and then he blacked out. After that, he vaguely remembered being carried in strong arms. He even remembered a moment when his vision came back and he saw Albel's (cold) face. Then he blacked out again.

    ALBEL THE WICKED
    "Aftermath"
    3

    His mouth was dry. That was the first thing that Kian realized when he next opened his eyes. He also didn't fail to notice that the bed he was on wasn't his usual mattress. Then it all came back to him. The attack on Jaarys. People screaming for their lives. Albel showing his true face. His Grandpa getting hit by some weird magic spell.

    "Grandpa!" Kian exclaimed as he sat up.

    His heart began to beat fast. He looked around and saw something that made him want to throw up. Around him were dozens and dozens of beds with wounded people lying on them. Some even seemed like they were dead. Children with burnt skin, some were bleeding still. A woman's face was frozen in terror. The man next to her couldn't stop looking around everytime a sudden noise or scream would occur. And the smell... the smell was hideous.

    Getting up was quite painful for some odd reason. Kian placed a hand on his chest as he recalled being hit by something. There was a bandage there now. Was it an arrow? Was it a magic spell? He shook his head, trying to focus on what was really important at the moment. Finding his Grandpa. As he stepped on the cold floor, he realized he didn't have shoes on, or socks for that matter. He caught the eye of the person lying in bed next to his. That person pointed downwards, underneath the bed. Kian looked where she was staring at and saw all his gear. He gave the person a smile. He couldn't tell if it was a man or a woman. Too many bruises and burns. And Kian's eyes were quickly tearing up.

    After putting his shoes and socks on, and after putting on his belt (with the chain whip and the little bags), he walked around the area. He wondered if he would recognize his Grandpa amongst all the wounded people. Some of them, like the person who had been lying in the bed next to his, were so badly injured that it seemed impossible to identify them. He went around three or four times, and still couldn't see anyone who looked, at least even remotely, like his Grandpa. He even asked a few of them if they knew where was Calja, the Innkeeper. He only got shrugs or complete ignorance. Finally, he decided to walk out of the makeshift hospital ward.

    Not too far away from there, in one of the few buildings that completely survived the attack, the Mayor of Jaarys was having a meeting with his people. The people who made the town work, so to speak.The building, which was somewhat burnt, became the new Mayor's office. Rakey Cordon had been elected earlier that year. He was a fairly weedy looking man with a fragile face.

    "I've sent a courier to Lancaac. They're the nearest town. Hopefully help will be on its way soon," he said, rubbing his forehead. He then looked up at his 'team'. They were six. Four men and two women. They all looked rather down (understandbly). "In the meantime," added the Mayor standing. "Can somebody please explain to me why the fuck did these guys come here for? Has anybody even heard of them? Do they have a fucking name?" Rakey Cordon was known for his colourful language and loud mouth. (That's why some say he was elected.)

    The other officials stayed quiet. They were used to his loud mouth and his severe attitude but they had no answers to give him. Not one. The attack, as far as they were concerned, was completely random. A barbaric act.

    "I want answers for fuck's sake!" The Mayor yelled. "Who are those sons of bitches who destroyed my fucking town?!"

    "Nobody knows."

    The unfamiliar voice made all of the officials' heads turn. Rakey Cordon looked at the stranger with fury.

    "Who the fuck are you?"

    "My name is Albel," replied the stranger. "Albel Nox."

    All of a sudden, the officials' faces grew into quite shocked, stunned even. The Mayor's fury died almost instantly.

    "Oh..." was the first thing that came out of Rakey Cordon's mouth. "I'm sorry," he continued. "I had no idea you were in our town."

    "I didn't want my presence to be known," replied Albel coolly. "I was asked to come here. Somebody suspected the town was going to be attacked."

    "What?!" The Mayor's fury returned with a vengence. "Somebody KNEW?! Why the fuck wasn't I informed? We could've been prepared for those sons of bitches!!"

    Albel never lost his cool. "That somebody actually tried to warn the Lastellan Guards about it. But unfortunately, they didn't deem the information worthy of any attention."

    "Still!" The Mayor said through his gritted teeth. "YOU could have come to me!"

    Albel looked at the head of Jaarys with a deadly stare and said, "I knew you wouldn't be able to do anything, maggot."

    The other officials gasped, most in a discreet way. They waited to see the Mayor's reaction. But surprisingly to them, he stayed silent and looked rather helpless.

    After a rather long moment of that awkward silence, the Mayor was about to say something when they heard a ruckus coming from outside. "Are we being attacked again?!" The Mayor asked, absent-mindedly almost. But Albel had this knowing feeling in his eyes and went to see what was going on.

    "He's a thief! A murderer! He wanted to kill me!" That was Kian, cracking his chain whip. He was red in the face and yelling at the top of his lungs, trying to convince a group of people (including three Town Guards) that someone was a bad guy. "And he wanted to kill Albel too!" The teenage boy added.

    "It's a misunderstanding, little boy..." The person accused of being bad was that big man Kian encountered in the Forest the day before. This time though, he looked a lot friendlier. He was smiling nervously. "Let me explain..." Kian cracked his whip to keep him quiet. "Eeesh... smells like I'm in nasty trouble..." He said quickly, almost whispering.

    "Shut up!!" yelled Kian. "You wanted our blood!"

    "That kid..." That was Mrs. Peachpaii, addressing the others. "He made up some strange story the other day. Said I was being attacked when in fact I was just with my friend. He's a silly boy."

    Kian glared viciously at her, saying, "Quiet woman!" after which the others, in whispers, agreed with the old woman.

    "Enough, idiot."

    Everybody looked in the direction from where that chilling voice came from. It was none other than Albel.

    "But it's him!" Kian pointed at the big man who wanted his blood. "He attacked you!"

    Albel had his arms crossed and looked rather severe. He said, "This is my friend Harmony."

    The big man bowed his head with a smile.

    "Friend? FRIEND?!" Kian was out of breath it seemed.

    "I was trying to explain..." Harmony intervened. "When you saw us in the Forest, we - Albel and I - thought you might have been one of those who attacked the town. We didn't want to raise any suspicion. We wanted to catch them."

    Kian now glared at Albel with even more viciousness than ever before. "What the hell is wrong with you?! What's with all the lies??"

    "Shut your mouth, fool." Albel snapped, glaring back.

    But Kian was too angry. "You damn liar!" He said. "You pretended to be some weak little GIRL when really you're..." He paused, as though the words were too difficult to mouth. "When really you're Albel the BLOODY wicked!"

    Again the people around whispered vividly amongst themselves.

    "I never pretended to be a 'weak little girl'," replied Albel. His tongue was an icy blade. "That's what you saw me as."

    Kian balled up his fists and seemed like he wanted to use his chain whip. And for a moment there, the people around held their breath as they expected a battle to break out. Even the Town Guards thought so. But in the end, Kian looked like he didn't want to keep going down that path.

    "Whatever," he said back, his voice conveying the anger inside. "Where's my Grandpa? I want to see him."

    "Oh my, the poor kid," said Mrs. Peachpaii. "He doesn't know?" She was addressing the others, but of course, it was loud enough for the boy to hear.

    "Know what?" Kian asked, looking at the old woman.

    They all fell silent. No one wanted to break the news to him. And when the boy looked around and saw their faces... He realized what happened to his Grandpa.


    One of the masked men who attacked the town was having a hard time in the makeshift holding cell he was in.

    The makeshift cell was simply a room in what used to be a coffee place. He was tied up and all bruised up. His mask was off and it turned out that he was a middle aged man, with a few days' beard growing.

    The Town Guard who had been interrogating him didn't refrain from using some violence. He was given a thumbs up by the Mayor. But even with the use of violence, the prisoner wouldn't speak. He would make noises when slapped, punched or eletrocuted but he wouldn't utter any words. His face would stay blank.

    The Town Guard was sweating and growing more and more impatient by the minute. The thought of killing off the prisoner crossed his mind.

    "Leave, maggots."

    The Town Guard, and the two others present, were quite obviously surprised. But as they saw it was Albel, they didn't argue. The Mayor had given him free reign. The Town Guards left the room and Albel stared right in the eyes of the prisoner. And judging by the look on the prisoner's face, it was as though he was smirking at Albel. But the 'visitor' wasn't phased at all. He approached the prisoner, his eyes cold and murderous, and placed a hand on his throat. It wasn't a hard grip, Albel wasn't trying to strangle him. The prisoner, surprised by the non-violent action, looked at his new interrogator with curious eyes. It was almost like Albel was caressing his neck with his fingertips.

    Then, he felt it. A slight pinch on the right of his neck.

    Pain. Fucking horrible pain.

    Worse than anything he had ever felt before.

    Warmth on his face... It was blood pouring down from his nose.

    He couldn't even scream, or talk, he was paralysed. He felt his blood boil and he felt like he was about to implode. He looked at Albel with tears in his eyes.

    Albel looked back. Cold eyes. Murderous stare.


    "What happened?" asked the Mayor as Albel walked out of the coffee place. "Did he talk?" He added as the visitor stayed silent for a moment. There were the officials and some other people around as well.

    Albel exchanged a look with his friend Harmony.

    "There was only one thing that worm knew," answered Albel finally, turning back to the Mayor and the others. "Attack the town."

    The Mayor, as well as the others, waited for more. But when nothing came. He said, "T... That's it? THAT'S IT?! WHAT THE HELL???" His face was crimson. "Are you sure he's not holding back information?!"

    A glare from Albel was enough to silence the Mayor or the whispers of the other people present. "He knows nothing else," he said. "You can do as you please with him now." He added before walking off.

    The people started chattering about what they just heard and also commenting on how weird Albel was. The Town Guard who interrogated the prisoner first approached the Mayor and asked, "What are we to do with the man?"

    The Mayor looked back at him, shocked, "What do you think?! We execute the hell out of that scumbag!"

    The people cheered.

    Away from that, a teenage boy kneeled down in a newly designated secluded area. It was where the bodies were laid to rest (for the time being) covered by sheets. Numbers were placed near each body to identify them. The teenage boy stayed silent, staring at the covered body before his eyes. His eyes showed his mind was elsewhere though. His fists were balled up.

    Slowly, he reached over and uncovered the face... He was breathing hard. Then he saw the face. Frozen. Pale. He felt a lump in his throat and before covering the face back, he placed a kiss on his Grandpa's forehead. His vision began to blur and he immediately closed them. He breathed faster, then slower... Opened his eyes again. He whispered something inaudible.

    A long moment passed.

    Then he got up.

    "How long have you been standing there?" He asked.

    "Only a minute or so," replied Albel coolly.

    "You could've said something," said Kian, a bit annoyed.

    "Didn't want to interrupt." Albel looked directly in Kian's eyes, who didn't seem comfortable with it. "I notice the lack of tears."

    The boy glared back at Albel, saying, rather harshly, "I don't do crying."

    Albel remained stoic. And silent.

    "What are you doing here anyway?" Kian wondered.

    "I wanted to pay my respects," replied Albel. "He was a good man."

    "Yeah?" Kian's tone got even more bitter. "And yet you lied to him about who you were and pretended to be his friend." He let out a forced laugh. "Funny you should talk about respect... Do you even know what that word means?"

    Albel smirked back and said, "Funny how you love to make assumptions."

    Kian was so pissed off at that point that he was ready to grab his chain whip and attack the visitor... but the screams, coming from where the others were, stopped him.

    And before he knew it, Albel had already rushed away to the origin of the noise. Kian followed. He hoped the masked men were back... so he could have his revenge. He wanted revenge very badly.

    When the boy reached the scene, he had to freeze in his tracks. The coffee place had now completely collapsed. And there was... a giant... fighting off another giant. They were at least 3 metres high and their muscles were pumped to the max, almost ready to pop. Kian had never seen anything like it. Then, he recognized one of the giants.

    It was the murderer he stopped in the Forest. The guy he beat to save Albel. Well, that's what he thought. Harmony. That was his name. But the other guy...

    "Who's that?" Kian asked to a Town Guard who was as entranced as he was.

    "..."

    "It's the prisoner," said a now quite familiar voice.

    "No way!" replied Kian, forgetting for a moment how angry he was at Albel. "W-what happened? WHAT is he?"

    Albel seemed to be thinking a thousand things as he watched the fight. "Something utterly disgusting," he said as he took his sword out of its shear. Again, Kian saw the golden glow in his eyes as Albel jumped into the fight.
    Last edited by Cadmus; 28th August 2008 at 01:13 AM.

  11. #11
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    Default Re: Albel The Wicked // Chapter 3 is up!

    Hullo! Late reply again. I'm notoriously bad for stuff like this.

    I really enjoyed this chapter, probably more than the last two because it feels like the plot is starting to pick up now and we're getting an idea of the characters. It's nice that we get a chance to see things from a few different angles here - such as the scene with the Mayor (angry and abrasive though he is).

    Poor Kian. Though you could tell that Calja was going to die, it was still sad for the character. I'm still not really clicking with Kian though - I feel much more affiliation with Albel. He seems much more likeable; Kian, though he has a strong personality, is difficult to really relate to thus far, maybe cause he's either gung-ho and heroic, or just plain pissed off. In any case, I'm still enjoying the dynamic between these two, and I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next.

    And where did the giants come from? Did the humans morph into them or something? That felt a bit odd, but I'll roll with it. Actually, it was during reading this chapter that I realised what it is that's both intriguing and slightly off-kilter about this fic: it's kind of torn between a very old-fashioned style of adventure writing (like the CS Lewis stuff I mentioned earlier) and an ultramodern approach to some characters (like the Three Outcasts - they seem like contemporary spoiled teenagers) and to the dialogue and some wordings (like the Mayor swearing so much in that way, or Kian being referred to as 'pissed off' in the narrative). There's nothing wrong with this - it just makes for an odd clash of styles. I'm interested to see how it develops: if it ends up making the whole fic more colourful and cohesive, or makes it feel, as I said, torn between different eras.

    It was interesting to see the context you used 'bullying' in at the very opening of the chapter. On one hand, it was refreshing to see it applied to non-human objects like ashes and stuff. On the other, it seemed to break the mood, almost trivialising the seriousness of what was going on around Kian. But it was nice to see the term used in a completely different way: love it.

    One thing that jarred though: the "icy blade of ice" simile. Too much ice there. An icy blade, sure. A blade of ice, fine. But one or the other - definitely not both. It's like saying "there was a lot of rainy rain" or "the grass was awfully grassy that day". ^_^

    Quote Originally Posted by Cadmus
    He caught the eye of the person lying in bed next to his. That person pointed downwards, underneath the bed. Kian looked where she was staring at and saw all his gear. He gave the person a smile. He couldn't tell if it was a man or a woman. Too many bruises and burns.
    I really liked that touch, Kian not being able to tell the gender of the person because they were so badly burned. Very visceral ... and it hammers home the extent of the damage more than a metaphor might have.

    Anyway, I've rambled on enough. I like the direction this story is taking, and though it needs a bit of work in places, it's starting to shape up and look really promising. Good writing. See you next chapter, mate.

    Cheers!
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  12. #12
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    Default Re: Albel The Wicked // Chapter 3 is up!

    Quote Originally Posted by Gavin Luper View Post
    Hullo! Late reply again. I'm notoriously bad for stuff like this.

    I really enjoyed this chapter, probably more than the last two because it feels like the plot is starting to pick up now and we're getting an idea of the characters. It's nice that we get a chance to see things from a few different angles here - such as the scene with the Mayor (angry and abrasive though he is).
    Yeah, things are picking up a bit now. A bit more action coming.

    Poor Kian. Though you could tell that Calja was going to die, it was still sad for the character. I'm still not really clicking with Kian though - I feel much more affiliation with Albel. He seems much more likeable; Kian, though he has a strong personality, is difficult to really relate to thus far, maybe cause he's either gung-ho and heroic, or just plain pissed off. In any case, I'm still enjoying the dynamic between these two, and I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next.
    Yeah, Kian would be a bit hard to relate to, and he's quite 'closed up' (is that the right expression? I hope so, lol). I'm glad you do like Albel (funniest character at the Silvers' 08, yay!) but Kian should get some more 'fans' later down the road, I think. ^^

    And where did the giants come from? Did the humans morph into them or something? That felt a bit odd, but I'll roll with it. Actually, it was during reading this chapter that I realised what it is that's both intriguing and slightly off-kilter about this fic: it's kind of torn between a very old-fashioned style of adventure writing (like the CS Lewis stuff I mentioned earlier) and an ultramodern approach to some characters (like the Three Outcasts - they seem like contemporary spoiled teenagers) and to the dialogue and some wordings (like the Mayor swearing so much in that way, or Kian being referred to as 'pissed off' in the narrative). There's nothing wrong with this - it just makes for an odd clash of styles. I'm interested to see how it develops: if it ends up making the whole fic more colourful and cohesive, or makes it feel, as I said, torn between different eras.
    Yeah, I tend to prefer writing this way, mixing up different things (usually elements I like from various 'eras' or 'genre stories') and I go with it. Some people dislike it, but thankfully others do like it. Hehe. As for the Giants ... well, keep reading!

    One thing that jarred though: the "icy blade of ice" simile. Too much ice there. An icy blade, sure. A blade of ice, fine. But one or the other - definitely not both. It's like saying "there was a lot of rainy rain" or "the grass was awfully grassy that day". ^_^
    LMAO! Thanks for pointing it out. I don't even know why I wrote that. I do know it's supposed to be 'icy blade' and not 'icy blade of ice' haha. ^^'

    Anyway, I've rambled on enough. I like the direction this story is taking, and though it needs a bit of work in places, it's starting to shape up and look really promising. Good writing. See you next chapter, mate.
    Thanks so much for the in-depth review. It helps a lot.

    Chapter 4 coming up soon!

  13. #13
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    Default Re: Albel The Wicked // Chapter 3 is up!

    The most surprising thing happened. Albel hit the now giant prisoner with the blade of his sword but it didn't hurt him. Not even a scratch. Kian couldn't believe his eyes, neither could the other people present who began to panic hysterically. They screamed and ran in all directions, trying to escape being massacred by that thing they had never seen in their lives. But Kian cracked his chain whip and joined the battle. He slapped the prisoner's huge back a couple of times, but like Albel's sword, it had no effect at all. Well, except for the fact that it made the prisoner focus on him. He went for a punch, which Kian managed to dodge. It left a hole in the ground.

    "Get the fuck out of here, idiot!" Albel yelled as he went for another attack on the big opponent. This time though, Kian could clearly see a red mark.

    And of course, Kian didn't listen and tried attacking the prisoner again. Whack! Whack! Whack! He went for the back again. Unfortunately for him, there were no red marks. The prisoner went for a double punch this time as counter attack. Kian would've been a goner if Albel hadn't pushed him out of harm's way.

    "Fuck off!!" Albel yelled again at Kian as Harmony jumped on the prisoner from behind, punching him in the head.

    Harmony went for the ribs and began punching them as hard as he could. The prisoner was now grunting and saliva was pouring out of his mouth by the buckets. He let out a roar and got up, Harmony on his back, and spun around and around and then fell on its back, thus crushing Harmony to the ground. Harmony let out a groan and wasn't given a second to rest as the prisoner began giving back the punches he received. Face, chest, ribs, the prisoner was like an animal. He was so busy with Harmony that he didn't notice Albel creeping up and jumping on his back to plant his sword through his chest. Albel wanted to get to the heart, but the sword didn't go deep enough. The prisoner screamed louder than he roared and jumped around like crazy to get Albel off, but Albel was holding on, applying pressure to the wound. The prisoner decided to use the same tactic that he used against Harmony and threw himself on his back, but Albel quickly pulled out his sword and jumped off.

    The prisoner hit the ground hard, creating another mini crater. But he got up as quick as he could and saw that Albel was now facing him, his sword at the ready. Albel's eyes were as cold and murderous as ever. The prisoner growled and sprinted towards the smaller opponent, ready to tackle him and crush him to death. But... again, he was so focused on Albel that he didn't notice Kian creeping up behind him and using his chain whip as a lasso to catch him. The prisoner was stopped in his tracks and when he turned to see what stopped him, he saw that it wasn't Kian holding the whip, but a massive rock. The whip was tied around it. And when the prisoner turned back to Albel, his head got sliced off.

    Kian couldn't help but be in awe... Albel beheaded the giant so quickly that there wasn't any blood on his sword's blade. But blood did come out of the now severed neck of the giant. Lots of it. And the body seemed to be deflating, emiting some weird and putrid smell. Kian also noticed that Harmony's body was going back to what it was when he first met him.

    "Al!" gasped Harmony as he saw his friend grabbing Kian by his neck, strangling him almost. He rushed to help the boy but a look from Albel was enough to stop him.

    "You fucking moron," said Albel looking at Kian. "I told you to get away. Why the fuck did you stick around?" He tightened his grip. Albel was holding the boy with his 'clawed' hand (he wore what seemed to be a metallic clawed glove). You could see the claws scrapping the flesh. "Do you remember what happened the last time you stuck around during a fight?" Albel asked, his voice cold, as he threw Kian to the ground.

    Kian didn't move. He didn't even look up at either Albel or Harmony (who looked really sorry for the boy). Kian stayed immobile. Albel stared at him, saying nothing. Harmony who couldn't stand the scene looked away and noticed something. "Al..." he said, tugging his friend's arm. "Look..."

    Albel looked and saw that the prisoner's body was glowing red. He nodded to Harmony who began walking away. Albel then grabbed Kian's arm and made him stand up. He then said to him, "Run as fast as you can."

    Kian had teary eyes when he stared back at Albel. "What?" He asked, his voice almost breaking up.

    "Run. As fast. As you can," Albel whispered almost. Then he broke into a sprint, with a firm grip (using his non-clawed hand this time) still on Kian's arm. Harmony also started to run.

    A moment later...

    ALBEL THE WICKED
    "Just A Moment"
    4

    ...there was an explosion.

    Sadly, it was big enough to eradicate what little was left of the town. The remaining buildings which still stood after the masked men's attack, I mean. But fortunately, it wasn't big enough to cause the death of Albel, Kian and Harmony. They managed to find shelter behind one of the massive rocks which surrounded the area, though at first they were shook by the explosion and nearly got hit with debris. It also caused something quite unusual to happen. To Kian anyway.

    He was in Albel's arms.

    Albel had pulled the boy closer when the explosion occurred and sheltered him. Kian took a moment to register the position he was in and when he did realize it, he pulled himself away from Albel. He added a glare in, for good measure. Albel was unphased, as usual. Harmony exchanged a glance with him as Kian got up. The boy was then the first to witness the destruction. He lost his breath for an instant as he saw that...

    ...Jaarys was no more.

    He fell on his knees. The boy could hardly believe what his eyes were showing him. He often dreamt of leaving his hometown and he never thought he'd want to go back. He felt nothing but disdain for what people called 'the village of roses'. But now... it was gone. Surprisingly, it did hurt him.

    His Grandpa was gone. And his... friends... Jesse, Dallo, Dyeran... Did they manage to escape? Was he... completely alone? Now he had nothing but the clothes on his back, his chainwhip and his little bags filled with either food or other battle items. Kian balled up his fists and closed his eyes. Shut them tight actually. He didn't want to be weak. He wanted to be strong. He wanted to be strong enough to have revenge.

    He got up and walked over to Albel and Harmony who were talking to each other a few metres away. They got silent when Kian approached. He guessed they wanted to give him a moment or something...

    "Are you going after those bastards?" Kian asked bluntly, looking at Albel. "The masked men," he precised. "Are you going after them?"

    Albel stared back at Kian, his face not showing any signs of how he reacted to that question. "What if I am?" he asked.

    "Take me with you," replied Kian, in one breath. "I want to bring them down," he said, stuttering a bit as he tried to control his emotions. "Please..."

    "You seriously think I'm going to take someone like you with me?" Albel asked back, coldly. "You don't listen, you are so closed-minded it's not even laughable, it's fucking sad. Do yourself a favour and go find a place to hide. You wouldn't last a minute against reality, you moron."

    Kian clenched his fists tightier than he had ever done... before loosening them, saying, his voice on the verge of breaking, "I helped in the fight against the giant. Surely that counts for something."

    "That counts for shit," Albel quickly retorted. "Your skills won't help you quench your thirst for revenge, fool."

    There was a silence that followed. Albel stared at Kian, Harmony looked like he didn't want to interfere in the conversation, and Kian, well, he seemed like he was lost in his thoughts. But finally, he looked back at Albel.

    "Do you know them?" the boy asked. "You knew what that giant was, didn't you?"

    Albel glanced at Harmony, then back at Kian. For a moment, it was as though he was deciding if it was something the boy deserved to know.

    "They are called the 'Azoans'." Albel looked in the distance. "A couple of years ago, it was said that they were killed by the Lastellan Army in an ambush." He turned back at Kian, and stared at the ruins of Jaarys. "Guess it was just a rumour."

    "Are they mercenaries or something?"

    "Not exactly," replied Albel. "They are under the command of a man who was once a warlord. But it is said that he takes 'missions' by third parties in exchange for either money or other 'favours'. Again, it was thought that he died during the ambush by the Lastellan Army."

    Not really thinking about it, Kian looked at Harmony for a second, remembering what his body did a short while ago. "So... are they all... giants?"

    "No," replied Albel as he looked at Harmony as well. The latter seemed a bit embarassed by the stares. "Harmony is a genuine giant. He can morph his body at will and still be in control of his emotions and, for a lack of a better word, his sanity." He smirked at his friend, then turned to Kian. "But the prisoner... he wasn't genuine. They implanted something in him to trigger the morph. It can only be done once. Then, after the morph, the prisoner lost the control of his emotions and basically became like an animal. And as you saw, once killed or fatally wounded, they... self-destruct."

    Kian could feel his breath wanting to leave his lungs. Giants? How come he never heard of them before? His Grandpa would've told him about them. He travelled quite a lot when he was younger. Kian's head was spinning. But through the dizziness, he didn't lose track of what he wanted the most right now.

    "And where does, or did, that warlord live?" the boy asked.

    Albel nodded to Harmony, who walked away towards The Forest. Then he turned his attention back to Kian.

    "I told you before," he said, "and I'll tell you again. You are not going after those guys. They will kill you. Your skills are worthless, maggot."

    "I will find them," replied Kian with violence. "I don't care if they are better fighters. I will take them down, one way or another. I don't care if I die trying!"

    Kian could feel anger and disgust build up inside him. But instead of going on arguing with Albel, he walked off. Determined, he didn't even look back. Albel frowned and caught up with the boy, grabbing his arm and forcing him to turn around.

    That's when he saw something new.

    Kian in tears for the first time. The boy's face was getting redder by the second and his eyes weren't even trying to hold back the tears, or the tears were too much for them to handle.

    "Help me then..." Kian pleaded, his voice shaking. "With you I'd stand a chance... Please... They destroyed everything...." It was hard to breathe, even harder to stand straight and still. He didn't know whether he stumbled or if Albel gave him a push, but he ended up in Albel's arms again. Now it was impossible to keep it all in. He sobbed louder and even let out a scream.

    "I cursed him..." the boy sobbed. "I cursed him when he forced me to be your guide..."

    "He knew you loved him, fool..." Albel replied with warmth.

    They stayed like that for a while. Kian kept crying and sobbing, but gradually, it became less and less. It was only when Kian pulled himself away that Albel loosened his hold on the boy. Kian cleared his throat and stared at the ground.

    "Will you help me then?" Kian asked, with a little voice, sounding even younger than his age.

    "You're such a moron and an annoyance that no matter what, you will go after those Azoans," said Albel with a sigh. "I guess it'd be best if you come with us, at least you will get to live a little bit longer, maggot."

    It took a few seconds, but Kian looked up at Albel and said, "Thank you."

    Albel and the boy's eyes were locked with each other. None of them could turn their gaze away, feeling like time had stopped. It can't be explained, really. It was what it was. Just a moment.

    Then, Harmony at the wheel, a buggy drove out of The Forest. It was red and black, but looked a bit old. Harmony waved at the guys. "So, what we doing?"

    "Lancaac. That's where we're going," Albel said as he walked to the buggy. "Maybe if we're lucky, we'll get a lead there. If the town hasn't been destroyed as well, obviously."

    "Obviously," Harmony nodded. "Smells like a good idea. You're so full of good ideas. If greatness was to be personified---"

    "Shut it, fool!" Albel closed his friend's mouth with his hand.

    Harmony blushed, saying, "Sorry." And then couldn't help but add, "It's just that you smell so---"

    "I said, shut it, fool!" Albel growled back, but with a hint of a smirk.

    "Ooh, is the new fragrance coming with us?" Harmony grinned.

    Kian stood near the buggy and looked at Albel. For confirmation.

    Albel smirked, "If you like annoying and stupid, I guess you won't be complaining then, Harm."

    With a glare, Kian jumped in the buggy and strapped himself in.

    "Off we go! Lancaac, here we come!" Harmony pressed the accelerator pedal.

    Before the ruins were out of sight, Kian looked back.

    He whispered, "Goodbye".
    Last edited by Cadmus; 24th September 2008 at 11:47 AM.

  14. #14
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    Default Re: Albel The Wicked // Chapter 4 is up!

    It only took me, what, a month to reply?

    This was a pretty short chapter, which, as I always say, isn't necessarily a bad thing at all. I think it worked well in establishing a bridge between the first three chapters - which, looking back, were probably just setting up the plot - and the rest of the story, which seems as though it will become a sort of quest/adventure story from chapter 5 onwards.

    There were quite a few charming aspects to this chapter. Harmony's weird affinity with people and their smells is quite amusing, and was a really expert way to inject some light-heartedness at the end of such a heavy chapter. The buggy was cool too (I like these for my own reasons), though I'm still getting my head around things like vehicles coexisting with an apparently medieval way of life, but hell - it's fiction, right? I also thought the moment between Albel and Kian was interesting. A romantic subplot between the two, maybe? Or just a moment of respect? Could kind of go either way, though it felt like it was given too much focus to just be a mark of respect. I guess time will tell, but anyway, it's an interesting angle to incorporate into this kind of adventure story.

    Opening with the action scene was intense, if slightly surreal with the giants, though I'm glad that was explained by Albel later in the chapter, otherwise it would've stuck out as a really odd thing. My only advice for the action sequence would be that it felt a bit too perfect; that is, we, the reader, could see quite clearly everything that was going on, and the narrative voice that you use in this fic seemed too calm or story-like to induce any real sense of danger in us. It may just be a case of personal preference, but I think action scenes are at their strongest when both the character and the reader feel as though something is really on the line; there is a real sense of danger. I like it to feel uncertain and immediate. Maybe sharper details could be used, or a more urgent voice. For example, the following paragraph:

    And of course, Kian didn't listen and tried attacking the prisoner again. Whack! Whack! Whack! He went for the back again. Unfortunately for him, there were no red marks. The prisoner went for a double punch this time as counter attack. Kian would've been a goner if Albel hadn't pushed him out of harm's way.

    ... could be rewritten as something like this (I'm not trying to be egotistical or an expert or anything, I'm just trying to apply my view on good action writing, which could be horribly flawed, so take it with a grain of salt):

    But Kian had no intention of listening to reason. His eyes were transfixed on the chaotic form of the prisoner before him. Like a reflex, his hand leapt for his chain whip; he tensed his forearm and flung the chain at the prisoner's rippling back; it struck, but there was no sign, no mark, to suggest the prisoner was hurt. The giant rounded on Kian, thrusting his arms forward in a double punch; Kian was still reeling in his chain whip, defenceless; he winced and closed his eyes as the prisoner's gigantic fists swiped at him, but the pair of hands that struck him in the back, forcing him to the ground, were comparitively tiny.

    Action scene aside, it was an interesting inversion to see Kian in tears in this chapter. Personally, I would've felt more inclined to sympathise with him if he were a nicer guy, but I guess I can't change who he is. Maybe we'll start to see an unravelling of this angry, insular hero? I definitely like the effect Albel is having on him.

    A couple of last points I noted. The line "This time though, Kian could clearly see a red mark" near the opening of the chapter was a bit unclear. Where could Kian see a red mark? In the sky? On the back of his hand? Or on the prisoner's back?

    Also, I think 'Dallo' was referred to as 'Callo' somewhere, looked like a typo.

    Far out - I hope that reply makes up for how long it took me to get around to it. I'm looking forward to seeing what you're going to do with this plot and these characters. While there are a few flaws here and there, there is a lot of potential in this story and I think with some work this could be a really strong piece. So bring on Chapter 5!

    Cheers dude!
    ...Quest for the Truth of the Legend ...

    Lisa the Legend

    Winner of 12 Silver Pencil Awards 2011 - Including Best Plot, Best Character in a Leading Role, Best Moment and Best Fic of the Forum for Lisa the Legend!

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  15. #15
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    Default Re: Albel The Wicked // Chapter 4 is up!

    Thanks for the detailed feedback, Mr. Luper.

    I'll keep in mind what you said about the action sequences and do my best to make it more thrilling and all.

    Concerning the time period of the story, it's mostly a mix of times really. You can have buggies and yet be in a town which seems to belong to an earlier time period. I guess a comparison could be 'Full Metal Alchemist' (anime) and how they mix things with their architecture and technology.

    Thanks again for review!

    Chapter 5 will be coming soon...

    (Hopefully! ^_^)

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    Default Re: Albel The Wicked // Chapter 4 is up!

    I know I'm hardly one to talk, but will we be seeing more of Albel and Kian and co.? Just that the updates were pretty regular before, and I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes.

    Yes, I'm more impatient then most of my readers. I apologise. Good job again so far dude!

    Cheers!
    ...Quest for the Truth of the Legend ...

    Lisa the Legend

    Winner of 12 Silver Pencil Awards 2011 - Including Best Plot, Best Character in a Leading Role, Best Moment and Best Fic of the Forum for Lisa the Legend!

    Quote Originally Posted by mr_pikachu
    Feel free to withdraw at any time, Gavin.

    Quote Originally Posted by DragoKnight View Post
    ...Far too many references!! You're like the Swiss army knife of discussion.

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    Default Re: Albel The Wicked // Chapter 4 is up!

    Thanks. I'll be updating soon.

    I know, it's not a definitive date but... yeah, soon.

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    Default Re: Albel The Wicked // Chapter 4 is up!

    Quote Originally Posted by Cadmus View Post
    Thanks. I'll be updating soon.

    I know, it's not a definitive date but... yeah, soon.
    I totally know the feeling, don't worry. And yet, I'm not sure why it always seems so hard for me to just sit down and write a bloody chapter. It's clear as day in my mind's eye, but sometimes it seems to take either a magical bolt of lightning on a good day, or just a sluggish superhuman effort, to get it done.

    ... I'm rambling ... it's late. ^_^ My apologies!
    ...Quest for the Truth of the Legend ...

    Lisa the Legend

    Winner of 12 Silver Pencil Awards 2011 - Including Best Plot, Best Character in a Leading Role, Best Moment and Best Fic of the Forum for Lisa the Legend!

    Quote Originally Posted by mr_pikachu
    Feel free to withdraw at any time, Gavin.

    Quote Originally Posted by DragoKnight View Post
    ...Far too many references!! You're like the Swiss army knife of discussion.

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    Default Chapter 5: Dangerous Forest

    The drive from Jaarys to Lancaac was about five hours long on a good day. Harmony was at the wheel of the buggy with Albel next to him on the passenger seat and Kian in the backseat. Both Albel and Kian's minds were roaming elsewhere whereas Harmony was busy changing the stations on the radio to find a song he could sing along to. Finally, he found a good one. Albel turned to his friend and smirked. He turned the volume up. It was the latest song by Original Doll.

    "You like that song?" Kian asked with obvious disdain. "Can you turn it down a little bit? It's hurting my ears."

    "Oh?" Albel turned the volume up even more and bopped his head to the beat.

    Kian let out a growl and pouted at the back of the buggy. He squinted as well, but that was mostly due to the afternoon sun.

    "Remember," said Albel as he turned to Kian. "You're with me. Not the other way around, fool."

    "You're a moron!" Kian retorted back.

    "Cross the line," Albel said as he faced the windshield again. "And I'll kick your maggoty ass out."

    Biting his tongue, Kian didn't say anything back. Albel smirked as he glanced in the rear view mirror.

    "Better," he said.

    Harmony smiled to himself and kept driving. An hour or so later, they reached Lancaac.

    "Smells bad," Harmony said with gloom.

    Kian who was fighting hard not to fall asleep looked outside his window.

    "The town..." the boy said, almost losing his breath. "It's like..."

    "The village of roses," Albel finished.

    ALBEL THE WICKED
    "Dangerous Forest"
    5

    Harmony drove in in what remained of Lancaac. Just like Jaarys, there was almost nothing left of what used to be quite a lively town. The buildings were burnt down, some were half crushed and there were some burnt bodies scatterred all over the place. The smell was so horrid that it brought tears to Kian's eyes.

    "Seems like this is not going to help us much," Albel commented with a sigh.

    But Harmony looked around as he drove and said, "There might be survivors. Hiding."

    Albel wasn't convinced at all. "They've surely fled by now."

    "What shall we do then?" Harmony asked.

    "Keep driving around for a bit," replied Albel. "Just in case."

    Kian also was on the lookout for anything that could help find his Grandpa's murderers. He was keeping inside the anger and pain he felt at the loss of his family. He knew that he had to be focused and clear-minded if he wanted to have a chance at getting back at those who had hurt him.

    But that was easier said than done. Not a second passed by without Kian thinking of his Grandpa, and not a second passed by without the boy wishing he could cry his sorrow out. But he took a discreet deep breath and put his courage together to keep going strong. To distract his mind from thinking those sad thoughts, he looked closer at the town in ruins.

    From what Kian had heard, Lancaac was a town known for its colourful people. The outcasted, the freaks and the misunderstood usually converged there. Kian couldn't help but wonder what the town was like before the same disaster that struck his own town happened. Even though he wouldn't be friends with any of them, he still was curious to see what it was about.

    "Hey, stop!" yelled out the boy suddenly.

    Harmony stopped the buggy at that very instant, turned and looked at Kian gravely, "What's wrong, yummy smell?"

    Kian blushed. "Don't call me that again, please."

    "Just answer the question, fool." Albel was also looking at him.

    Kian glared back at Albel. He was sick of the tone Albel used with him. "Stop being so rude!" He said. Albel didn't reply anything, he kept looking at the boy in his eyes. Finally, Kian turned and pointed at something. "I think I saw something move in there."

    Albel stared at the spot where Kian pointed at for a moment, as if to double check if he was right.

    "Harm, stay with the boy," he said as he quickly jumped out of the buggy.

    But Kian wasn't going to just stay still. "Hey, I'm the one who saw it. I should come too!"

    A dark look from Albel was enough to silence Kian. The boy stayed in his seat.

    "I'll wait here then..." Kian whispered bitterly.

    Albel made his way towards the building that looked like it was on the verge of collapsing.

    Harmony turned to Kian and said, "Don't worry, I'll protect you, Kian-cakes!"

    "Please," Kian said in a pleading voice. "No more nicknames."

    Even though the sun was out, the building was quite dark inside. Albel walked in with caution, looking around, alert. His right hand was almost touching the handle of his sword as he walked into what used to be a food store. The shelves were broken, the fridge's glass doors were shatterred. It felt like a war took place in that store.

    Something on the floor caught Albel's eye. A name-tag: "Jonas". There were blood stains on it. As Albel picked up the object, he sensed something behind his back. In less than a second, he dodged to his left and saw a man hit the floor with a chair. Without losing another second, Albel kicked the man in his gut. The man fell on his butt, looking hurt and scared.

    "Don't kill me! PLEASE!"

    "I'm not one of them," Albel said calmly.

    The man, in his twenties, wearing a shirt and baggy pants, looked at Albel, surprised and unsure. At that moment, Harmony and Kian rushed in, both ready to fight. The man looked even more terrified now.

    "Huh? W-who are you then?"

    Albel flicked the name-tag away and answered, "We're from Jaarys. The town was attacked by the same people who came to your town. We thought we might find clues as to their whereabouts here."

    The man was still scared, so he only stutterred an incomprehensible set of words as response.

    "Look, fool! We don't have time for your nonsensical talk! Pull yourself together and tell us what happened." Albel's tone was harsh but yet still calm.

    The man froze up, looking as though he was living a nightmare. Harmony stepped in with a big grin. "Excuse my friend, oh wounded smell. He is just, erm, eager to help. Yes, eager to help. So, would you be kind enough to give us a hand? That would be very very nice of you. I know you've been through a lot. But we really need to know what happened so that we can stop the people who did this. Please?"

    The man took a moment. He looked away and closed his eyes. Then he got up and cleared his throat. "I was working when all of a sudden we heard screaming outside. My boss went to see what was going on. It all happened so fast. All I can remember are bright lights, the feeling of being hit everywhere... The screams... they were the worst."

    Kian felt uneasy as he listened to the man's tale.

    "But... the coward that I am... I hid best as could as some men entered the shop. They attacked the owner. They were asking him about something. I think he refused to tell them... Then they... they..." The man had tears in his eyes and his voice was shaking. Harmony placed a hand on his shoulder, looking warm and understanding.

    "What did they ask him? Did you hear?" Harmony asked.

    The man stared back at Harmony for a long moment before saying with a sigh, "They were asking him about our sacred jewel."

    "They were after the Ambrosia?" Albel demanded, his expression hard to read.

    The man was shocked. "You know the name of our sacred jewel?"

    Harmony grinned. "Albel is that awesome."

    Albel smirked at Harmony, and then looked at the man as he said, "I know it's not on your town's guide book. But something like that can't be hidden forever." He then turned to Kian. "I guess we've found the motive behind the attacks."

    "Wait... that doesn't explain why they attacked my hometown. It just explains what happened here," Kian replied.

    "It was unsure where the jewel was located. The rumoured places were Troya, Lancaac and Jaarys," explained Harmony.

    Kian shook his head. "But you knew it was here," he said looking at Albel. "Surely they might have known that too."

    "I didn't know for sure." Albel looked at the man. "I thought it was in the Village of Roses."

    Harmony looked at Kian with the warmth and understanding he gave to the man. "That's why we were there."

    Kian's uneasiness grew even more at this point. "You're telling me that... those... bastards... killed my Grandpa for some piece of jewelery?!" He balled up his fists, his eyes filled with angry tears.

    "There's more to the Ambrosia than a decorative purpose," explained Albel.

    Kian looked at Albel, puzzled.

    The man groaned. "It is said that the Ambrosia is a map. A map to the greatest treasure you will ever find." He paused, tears running down his face. "My brother was in charge of its protection."

    "Can you tell us its location? If we hurry, we might be able to stop those nasty sickening smells!" Harmony said with a bit of a growl.

    The man suddenly looked unsure and stepped back.

    "How do I know you're the good guys? Maybe you're after the Ambrosia too!" He said, yelling almost.

    "I am Abel Nox, you maggot." Albel said with a glare.

    The man gasped.

    "It... it can't be."

    Albel's eyes suddenly had a golden glow to them.

    It seemed that this was enough to convince the man. "You... really... are..." He stayed silent for a moment. Then he revealed his secret, "It is in the center of the Forest at the end of the town. You can't miss it, there's the biggest tree of the forest right in the center. The jewel is protected by a magic spell. It will be unveiled if you say the password."

    "And what is the password?" Albel asked.

    The man took another moment, longer this time. The tension was thick in the air.

    "Oopsie daisy."

    Silence.

    "That's the stupidiest password I've ever heard," Albel said with silent fury.

    "I like it. It's cute as!" Harmony grinned. Kian didn't comment.

    "A good password is an unpredictable one. That's what my brother always said," the man replied with pride.

    Albel made his way out.

    "Heh, his manners are a bit... you know... sometimes," Harmony apologized. "Thanks for your help. You're welcome to wait for us here, and we'll take you to the nearest town once we're done."

    The man nodded with a weak smile. "I appreciate that." He paused. "Be careful, they were violent and vicious."

    Harmony couldn't help but chuckle. "Oh, don't you worry. They pale in comparison to Albel."

    Kian walked out with Harmony, intrigued.

    The gang got back in the buggy and they made their way to the end of the town in order to get into the Forest. Albel was busy in his thoughts while Harmony seemed to be smiling to himself for some reason. Kian sighed and tried his hardest not to think about the reason why his Grandpa lost his life. But of course, not matter how hard he tried, it was impossible not to think about it.

    He slammed his fist on his seat, holding back tears. Albel heard but didn't do anything, neither did Harmony. Kian was breathing hard, his blood boiling with anger and revenge. The many regrets that have been polluting his mind since that dark day rushed back to beat him up. He wanted so badly to pour the blood of those 'bastards' and hear them scream as the agonizing pain ripped their life away.

    Kian never knew he could think so darkly, and think he would get some satisfaction in seeing someone suffer that much. Part of him hated the 'bastards' even more for making him think like that.

    "It's not a big town. We're almost already there." Harmony turned a corner.

    This time, Albel turned to look at Kian.

    "Don't try anything stupid, fool. If we see those guys, you do as I say. Got it?"

    Kian glared back at Albel, but nodded nevertheless.

    Harmony took the buggy as far as he could into the Forest, which wasn't much. The gang got out of the vehicle. Albel motioned for the two others to wait as he climbed quickly on one of the many trees surrounding them. The leaves were so dense that not much sunlight was coming through. It gave the whole place an eerie feeling. Even more so than the Forest surrounding Jaarys.

    "Are you okay, little pie?" Harmony asked softly.

    Kian looked back at Harmony, unsure how to respond with that nickname.

    "I'll have to be," the boy replied.

    Harmony seemed touched by the answer.

    "You're a strong bunny!" Harmony smiled.

    Kian cringed a little bit at the term, but smiled back anyway.

    Albel landed on the ground next to them.

    "It's about an hour's walk from here."

    Harmony's eyes widened. "One HOUR? Oh, no..." He said with gloom.

    Albel smirked and began walking, followed by a somewhat reluctant Harmony.

    "Wait." Kian said, getting their attention. "Is it safe to leave the buggy like that?"

    "Oh, that's right!" Harmony smacked his forehead. He took out a little remote from his pocket and pressed a button. The buggy was now cloaked in invisibility. Kian couldn't help himself; he was amazed.

    "Woah!" exclaimed the boy.

    Harmony grinned. "I'm a good mechanic, you think?" He winked.

    Albel smirked. "Let's go."

    The gang then disappeared in the Forest.

    Their journey to the center of the Forest was quite uneventful. Harmony sighed and whined most of the time, he couldn't stand walking that long. But still he never stopped and kept up with the two others. Kian, on the other hand, was silent. He glanced a few times at Albel. Part of him couldn't understand how someone who looked like that could be the man of legend that many stories depict him to be. Maybe they never saw him in real life, he thought.

    But part of him was also quite impressed to be in the presence of such a great warrior. From the stories, it seemed that Albel was this invicible character who could easily defeat armies on his own. Kian almost felt like asking if any of that was true, but thought better of it. Albel was also silent on the way, he seemed buried in his thoughts. And when they finally arrived, under less than an hour in the end, they saw the big tree. Keeper of the Sacred Jewel.

    "Password?" Harmony proposed, with a slight fatigued sigh.

    "You say it, Harm," Albel replied. "Since you like it so much."

    "Ha." Harmony raised his chin. "Fine. Okay, here we go. Oopsie daisy!"

    That's when the earth began to shake. That's when a warm wind began to blow from all over the place. That's when three wooden monsters fell from the top of the big tree!

    "Should've known," Albel sighed. "Harm, the boy." He took out his sword, his eyes had a golden glow to them.

    Albel rushed into the three wooden monsters and began slashing away. Quickly though, he realized that slashing them wouldn't be enough. Their branches spread around and tried to capture Albel who managed to avoid them. But he knew he wouldn't be able to keep out of their range for much longer. Harmony glanced at Kian and with only a look, he asked for the boy to stay put. Then he upped his size and joined the battle. He threw double punches at the wooden monsters. Kian watched and had his chain whip ready. But he stood still. He was angry, but he stood still.

    It seemed that cutting down their branches wouldn't do the trick either, as they grew back almost instantly. Albel swore badly at the creatures as he kept slashing away without respite. His blade was cutting, yes, but didn't seem to do any lasting damage. Harmony wasn't doing any better. No matter how hard he punched through, the creatures wouldn't die. He even tried squeezing them into his arms to the point of crushing them, but in vain. It seemed they were invincible. Albel glanced at Harmony and there was an understanding between them.

    Harmony charged with all his might, tackling all three monsters at once. He punched whatever his fists could touch. Albel had stepped back and his eyes were glowing gold even more than before. Harmony screamed as one of the creatures somehow planted its branch in his arm. Harmony yelled as he broke the branch and headbutted the creature. Blood trickled down his wounded arm as he quickly removed the branch. But he kept at it. He kept punching away. Then he heard Albel's voice say something. He pushed the creatures away and jumped to the side.

    The creatures turned their attention to Albel. Albel who slashed the air with his sword and caused a wave of fire. Fire that hit the three creatures, burning their bodies. They screamed. They died. Finally.

    Albel knelt down, to catch his breath it seemed. "Haven't done that in a while," he smiled to himself.

    He looked at Harmony, and saw that he was looking at a part of the big tree. A part which wasn't there before. Albel got up and walked over to see an opening in the tree. An opening in which the Ambrosia should've been.

    "Guess we're too late," Harmony sighed. "After what we've just been through. How annoying."

    "Not bad. Not bad at all."

    Harmony was startled. It wasn't Albel's voice. Albel and Harmony turned around.

    "You really are something," said the man who was at the store. He was with two other people. A young woman and a man. The other man had Kian in his grip with a knife to his throat.

    Albel glared at them. "And who are you, fool?"

    The man laughed. "I don't think I'm the fool here, 'maggot'." He pulled out two revolvers. "My name is Raza. I am your worst nightmare."

    "You took the Ambrosia?" Harmony asked.

    "No, Harm," replied Albel. "He's nothing but a vermin. The Ambrosia was not here to begin with. We faced the Guardians, we opened the tree, but the reward was not there." He looked curiously at Raza. "The question you should ask, Harm, is how did they know where the Ambrosia was going to be? And what's their connection to the people who attacked Jaarys."

    Raza shook his head with another laugh. "You really think I'm going to tell you anything? I'm the one with the guns."

    "Actually," Albel said with dead calm, "I don't care about what you know."

    There was now a puzzled look on Raza's face. "What are you on about now?"

    "Your name gave me the answer I needed," answered Albel. "Therefore, I do not require your knowledge, maggot."

    Raza didn't see him move. No one did. What they did see though was Raza's hands chopped off and falling to the ground.

    "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

    Raza fell to his knees, handless, bleeding profusely, tears running down his cheeks. He had trouble breathing.

    The other man and the young woman were in shock.

    Albel turned his golden gaze to the man holding a knife to Kian's throat. The knife fell to the ground instantly. The man ran away. The young woman was frozen on the spot.

    "You disappear," Albel told her, his voice dead calm still. "I see your face again, you won't have a head anymore."

    The young woman lost her breath but regained the control of her body and ran away as fast as she could.

    "Oh god, oh god, oh god..." Raza was crying relentlessly. And as Albel turned his attention back at him, his cries became pleas. "I beg you... please... I'm sorry... I'm sorry!"

    "The mistake you made," Albel said, "was to put a knife to his throat."

    Kian's heart skipped a beat.

    And with a movement of his hand, Raza's head came off and rolled on the ground.
    Last edited by Cadmus; 16th December 2008 at 08:35 AM.

  20. #20
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    Default Re: Albel The Wicked // Chapter 5 is up! + New Track to Soundtrack

    Whoa. This is good stuff. I hope you keep writing more.

    Albel's first few scenes were totally comical. I've played Star Ocean: Till the End of Time and so I knew what Albel was like there. It was just hilarious seeing Kian's interpretation of his clothing, hilarious imagining Albel the Wicked being a "weak girl" as Kian put it. Yet I like how there were little hints in there showing that he wasn't really as silly as he was acting.

    The golden glow in Albel's eyes was working quite well, setting up a trademark for Albel, but I think this sentence is a bit much: "Albel had stepped back and his eyes were glowing gold even more than before." I'm not sure how to fix it, that one sentence seems really awkward. The "even more than before" strikes me as odd somehow. Hm. I guess the golden glow was believable before and I could picture it, but this sentence makes it seem really unnatural. I'm not sure if I'm making much sense.

    I can see Kian's character really turning around. He seems like the kind that'll get a "most improved" award if characters in stories actually got that. The kind that grows the most, because of things that happen to them that trigger or feed the change. Oh yeah, and Harmony cracks me up. I love Kian's reactions to his nicknames.

    I'm interested as to what else Albel knows... His comment to Raza puzzles me. Is he looking for someone specific? Is Raza not that person? Also I'm confused by this line: " 'The mistake you made,' Albel said, 'was to put a knife to his throat.' " I thought the man that threatened Kian with a knife ran away, and wasn't Raza. Although I have to admit I am rather fond of that line

    Maybe I'm biased, but Albel is - so - damn cool. The story is quite exciting at this point, a bunch of questions I want answered. I'm also interested in how exactly Kian develops... the thirst for revenge can change people in not-so-good ways. Though since he's with Albel and Harmony, he might be okay. Anyway... Please, please keep writing this. ^^

    [EDIT]: Also, your music - did you make that yourself?
    Last edited by Lune the Guardian; 15th December 2008 at 07:10 PM.

  21. #21
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    Default Re: Albel The Wicked // Chapter 5 is up! + New Track to Soundtrack

    Hey Lune.

    Thanks a lot for the long feedback. I really appreciate it. Hehe. I'm glad you're familiar with the original character of Albel from the video game. I really liked him in the game and I thought he'd make a great character in a story, so I gave it a go. Glad you're enjoying him in this story. Hopefully it will stay that way, eh?

    Yeah, I know what you mean for the "Golden glow" in his eyes. The sentence does seem a bit awkward. I'll probably change it when I think of a better way to say what I want to say for that bit. I've edited this chapter so much, I'm not surprised something like that awkward sentence stood out, lol. Over editing isn't good. English isn't my first language as well, I suppose it shows sometimes, haha.

    I do know where I want the characters to go and to end at, but it's the way to get there that keeps changing in my mind. But hopefully, I'll be able to keep writing this (so far, things are going good lol) and take them there. Kian definitely is going to develop, maybe you'll love him, maybe you'll hate him. (Hehe, cheesy, I know.)

    Yeah, the man who had a knife to Kian's throat was the one who ran away. But I was hoping, with the way Albel treated this, to show that he actually thinks a bit more thoroughly about things. Who truly threatened Kian? Was it the man who followed the order of his leader? Or was it the leader who gave the order in the first place? Albel didn't cut the branch of the problem, he went straight for the root. I'm glad you like the line.

    Thanks again for reading my story and for taking time to write some feedback. The music isn't composed by me, I just use it to 'enhance' the story a little bit, heh. Sometimes the songs are what I listen to when I imagine the scene, or the songs I think suit the moments. Or it happens that the song has a direct link to the story or the particular chapter.

    As for the answers to the other questions (about Razza and all), they will be answered in due time. Hehehe!

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    Default Re: Albel The Wicked // Chapter 5 is up! + New Track to Soundtrack

    Oh yes, you're definitely doing a good job with the characters I'd thought as much about the knife to the throat line, but somehow I forgot to write about it in my last post. Albel does seem to think really quickly about things, it was genius of him the way he acted when he and Harmony were discovered in the forest... lol.

    I know - exactly - what you mean by over editing. Hell, I'm guilty of that myself. I don't know how many times I read and reread my chapters. God, I have a whole fantasy fic in my head but I can't get on with it because I keep going back to the first chapter. As for English not being your first language... well, you sure can tell a great story even so. ^_^ I don't mean to pry, but I'm curious, where are you from?

    Um, maybe for that golden glow part, you can use other words to show the increase in intensity. Maybe "his eyes flared gold"... or something, if you get what I mean. Some sort of indicator that the glow is more intense than before, without actually saying that it was more intense than before.

  23. #23
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    Default Chapter 6: The Last Guardian

    "Come on, say it."

    "..."

    "You know you want to."

    "..."

    "Admit what's in your heart!"

    "...Harm."

    "Yes, Al?"

    "We're not lost."

    ALBEL THE WICKED
    "The Last Guardian"
    6


    Kian was sitting on a rock while Albel and Harmony seemed to be arguing about whether or not they were lost. It was actually a funny thing to see. But Kian wasn't laughing, or smiling. In fact, he had been silent since Raza's head rolled on the ground after meeting with Albel's blade.

    'The mistake you made was to put a knife to his throat.' That sentence was being played repeatedly in Kian's head. There was something he couldn't seem to register. The way Albel said it; it was both heartless and... heartfelt. It was strange. Kian had his eyes on Albel now, watching him, that cold guy, that jerk.

    "Oh shit!" Kian whispered to himself as he turned his eyes away. Albel caught him staring. Kian was bracing himself for some sort of smartass comment or whatever... but nothing. Albel and Harmony were still 'discussing'.

    -A distorted cry-

    Kian jumped and looked around, startled. Both Albel and Harmony got quiet and looked around as well, but not as startled as Kian was. The cry lasted for almost half a minute, it was piercing and somewhat sad.

    "What was that?" the obvious question asked by Harmony, who was looking at Albel.

    "I get it now," Albel replied. "We're not lost. The Forest is keeping us here."

    Harmony blinked his eyes, speechless it seemed.

    "It's also a Guardian of the Ambrosia Jewel. It makes sense," Albel said, making it sound like it was an obvious thing to think of.

    "You're so smart and clever... Can I eat you?" Harmony asked, a bit of drool in the corner of his mouth.

    Albel just glared back at him. "You are so weird sometimes, Harm. So weird."

    Harmony giggled as a response. Kian wondered if the big man realized that they were trapped by a Forest.

    "Um..." Kian got the attention of the two friends. "Sorry but... how do we... I mean... how are we going to... you know... get out?"

    Albel stared back at Kian for a moment, a long moment, making the boy a little bit uncomfortable. Then Albel said, "We defeat it."

    "Defeat it?"

    "Are you a parrot now?" Albel asked back, with that zest of venom in his tone. "Just don't get in the way when we have to do it."

    Typically Kian would boil inside, but for some reason, it just stung. He didn't respond, he just looked away.

    Albel began walking. Kian sighed and followed. Harmony approached him and said, "Don't worry. If need be, I'll eat you and keep you in my tummy for protection!"

    Kian looked back at Harmony, unphased, and said, "Why? Just... why?"

    Harmony grinned and kept walking. Kian wondered if he was just trying to cheer him up. It was... somewhat successful. Kian thought of Harmony as 'a bit funny'. In a good way.

    "Look out!!" Albel yelled.

    "Are these... trees? Trees are attacking us?!" Kian gasped as he saw a tree monster (it looked like a trunk with several branches as arms - it had dark slits for eyes and that was it.)

    There were several of them. Albel took out his sword and started slashing away at everything. He was ferocious, vicious and precise. Harmony bulked up and jumped into the battle also punching the trees to bits. Kian noticed though that Harmony stayed close to him. Protecting him under Albel's orders probably. Kian balled up his fists. He was no female! He wasn't going to stay behind and not fight when he was damn capable of it!

    "What the hell are you doing? Stay back!" Albel threw at Kian as he saw him enter battle.

    "I'll prove to you once and for all that I can fight!" Kian replied cracking his chain whip. He didn't waste any time and started attacking his targeted Tree Monster. Using his chain whip, he quickly aimed for the branches to stop the Tree from counter-attacking.

    But, the Tree Monster had more than one trick under its... wood... Yes, well, it had more than one trick! It started to shake violently, its roots inflating it seemed. Kian looked on as Albel decided to attack it before it tried anything. But the monster attacked before Albel could slash it. The monster blew hot boiling water from its holes towards Kian who quickly jumped to the side to avoid the attack.

    "Owwwww! #$$%$##!" Kian screamed as some of the water attack hit his arm.

    Albel gritted his teeth as his right hand began to glow a little bit. He used his metallic claw glove to grab the monster by its holes and rip it apart completely. Kian blankly stared at the bits and pieces of the monster, both in awe and a little bit freaked out by Albel's skills.

    Harmony ended up punching the last of the monsters right through its trunk making it split into half almost. He grinned as he turned to Albel. But Albel wasn't looking back. He had his head hung low, his hair covering his eyes. Harmony then looked at Kian and realized the boy was injured.

    "Oh, my bunny!" Harmony rushed to Kian. "I'm so so so so sorry! Please forgive me!" The big man's eyes were full of tears. "My yummy bunny! Do you forgive me? Do you?"

    "It's not your fault," Kian replied. "You're not the one who attacked me with boiling water." He smiled a bit.

    "Oh, you lovely aroma!" Harmony pulled Kian into a hug.

    "That's enough." Albel finally turned to them.

    Harmony broke the hug and looked sheepish.

    Kian looked away, knowing that he was probably going to get a lecture again about how he wasn't in charge or something to that effect.

    Albel approached and knelt down before him. He grabbed Kian's arm and looked at the burn. Albel was silent. He then pulled out a little pocket sack and gave a green pea to the boy.

    "A... green pea?" Kian asked back, his voice making him sound younger than he was.

    "Just eat it, fool."

    Kian nodded and ate the single green pea. It took a few seconds... The boy felt something inside of him. It felt like when you drink water when you're really thirsty. He felt his arm sting a little and as he observed his burn, he saw it heal. And after a few seconds, it was barely noticeable.

    "Whoa... amazing!" Kian looked at his arm as if it was the first time he was seeing it. "That's so cool! Where did you get those things?! I've never heard of them before!"

    Albel didn't answer and merely glared at Kian who instantly lost his interest in the green pea.

    "It changed," Albel said. "Look around."

    Both Kian and Harmony did as they were told and they realized that the Forest had gone darker, not just the lighting, but the colour of the leaves, the grass, the earth, the tree trunks and branches... they were all darker. Almost grayish.

    "This is so creepy, I don't like it!" Harmony said, whimpering a bit. "Al, what's going on? Why is it doing this?"

    "I'm not exactly sure," Albel replied. "I think those monsters were just a test... to see if we were worthy of facing it."

    "Facing what?" Harmony asked, getting closer to Albel.

    Albel seemed in thought as he spoke. "The Guardian... the only one left. It's the strongest." He then saw something. "Even if you get the jewel, it doesn't mean you've won. You still have to get out of the treasure chest."

    "But we didn't even get the Jewel... It doesn't make sense!" Harmony was looking around, in case more monsters attacked.

    "Yes, I know," Albel said. "But I don't think the Guardian knows it."

    Kian listened and it creeped him out too. A thought crossed his mind. A thought he was sure Albel the Wicked came to a conclusion too. But it was a thought that was too strong not to be said at loud...

    "Whoever did steal the jewel... must be really strong then." Kian got back up on his feet.

    Albel barely glanced at the boy before looking back to what he had just noticed. He started walking and said, "We're about to face the Guardian, be ready."

    Kian and Harmony both wondered where Albel was going but then they saw it too. A path. A path of blood red gravel.

    Albel walked with almost an insulting confidence in his step whereas both Kian and Harmony seemed to be on a constant guard. Kian held on tight to his chainwhip and Harmony sniffed the air here and there trying to smell if something bad was around them.

    A cry, loud and painful was heard. It was so close to them that they felt the sound vibrate through their bodies. Harmony went white and Kian could feel his skin getting warm and hot with sweat. Albel was stoic.

    "Here it comes," said Albel coolly.

    Suddenly, black walls rose up from the ground and surrounded them. Kian and Harmony glanced at each other, both looking rather anxious. Albel stood a few feet in front, his back to them so they couldn't see his eyes. They were cold and they had a strange gold glow to them.

    A figured descended from above in the trees as if forming as it landed on the ground, facing the trio. It formed into what looked a female with red skin (it looked like it had vapour coming out through the pores of the skin) and covered with black stains. Her hair was black and long enough to almost reaching her ankles. She was 6 metres tall and slim. Her face was sad, heartbroken.

    She didn't speak. She just stared at the group or maybe she was staring into space, it was hard to tell. The temperature was rising steadily as well.

    "I am Albel Nox," said Albel finally. "I came here in pursuit of the Ambrosia Jewel. I found its resting place but it wasn't there anymore. It had already been taken."

    The female creature looked at Albel curiously.

    "I want to know who stole it," Albel continued. "There is no way you haven't seen who did it even if you failed to stop the theft."

    She let out a long cry, tears running down her red skinned cheeks. "I am the Forest, I am the Guardian, I see everything," she said, her voice sounding nothing like anything Kian had heard before.

    "Tell us what you saw," Albel demanded.

    She only stared back at him, looking sadder than ever.

    Albel drew his sword and said, "Tell us what you saw and I'll assume the reponsibility of the one who stole the Ambrosia Jewel."

    Her eyes lit up. Literally. Her eyes became flames and she stood tall. She said, "Stronger than a human being could ever be." She paused. "Stronger than you are."

    Kian looked at Harmony to see if he knew what she was talking about but Harmony looked as clueless as he was.

    "Harmony, Kian," Albel said, without looking at them. "Step back as far as you can. We are about to fight."

    "But we could help!" Kian said immediately.

    "Shut up, fool!" replied Albel. "She won't fight you guys," he added. "Only one person can take the blame for what the thief did. She will keep us here forever if I don't defeat her."

    "I'll protect the yummy smell, Al!" Harmony said loud with assurance before Kian could say another word.

    "Thanks, Harm," Albel threw back as he slashed the air with his sword. He was ready to fight. So was she.

    The Guardian levitated a little bit in the air as she shot fireballs at Albel through her eyes. Albel cut through them and sent a wave of energy towards her as a response. She took the hit but didn't seem to care.

    Albel then leaped into the air and hit her with the blade of his long and thin sword. She blocked the attacks with her forearms and even though the blade did inflict a few cuts, she still didn't seem to care.

    As Albel landed back on the ground, the Guardian extended her arms to her side and created blades of fire using her open hands. The blades looked like Albel's sword but somewhat shorter in length. She looked at Albel, no emotions on her red face, and threw the blades at him.

    There were too many for Albel to dodge so he used his sword to break as many as he could but broken pieces of the blades of fire hit him all over his body. A cut on his right arm drew some blood.

    Harmony's eyes teared up and his fists balled up. Kian was stunned by what he was witnessing. The battles he saw before were already weird enough but this one seemed to top them all. Albel was fighting a giant fire woman and was actually holding very well. Though... Kian's heart skipped a beat when he saw Albel take the hits.

    More fire blades, Albel broke most of them again, but again, a few broken pieces did hit him. He didn't stand still though as he quickly jumped into the air and slashed away at the Guardian with all his might. She blocked with her forearms which were getting very badly cut now.

    Albel landed back on the ground after the attack and the Guardian put her hands together above her head and created an enormous fireball. Harmony and Kian widened their eyes in shock. It was a really big fireball. Albel smirked and jumped at the Guardian and using his left hand (the one with the 'Claw Glove') he planted the claws on her face and pulled it downwards as he landed back on the ground.

    The Guardian let out a scream and levitated slightly higher and threw the fireball at Albel, who crouched down looking back up at the incoming fireball. Kian and Harmony both watched the scene, terrified. Then Albel, his eyes having that slight glow of gold, jumped in the air towards the fireball with his sword first and pierced through it. He reached the Guardian and in a flash, planted the sword right through her heart.

    A long scream was heard as she exploded into a burst of flames and the black walls were shatterred to pieces.

    Albel landed on the ground, his arms covered in bruises and a few cuts on his face. He was on a knee and use his sword as a support. He was breathing hard. But he was smiling. Harmony and Kian rushed to him.

    "Are you okay, my favourite smell of all?" Harmony asked, his voice shaking a little bit.

    With a nod, Albel stood back up and put his sword back into its shear.

    "I think we are finally free from the Forest," he said as he began walking towards a new path. There was sunlight at the end of that path.

    It didn't take them long to reach the exit. The sun was going down, it was late afternoon it seemed.

    "The buggy!!" Harmony exclaimed as he noticed his vehicle nearby. "How is that possible?"

    Albel turned towards the Forest. "I guess she doesn't hold grudges." He winked at Harmony.

    It was then that Albel noticed Kian looking at him. "Something the matter, fool?" Albel asked. "Don't think for a second I forgot about you not listening to me. Again."

    Kian kept looking at Albel and seemed to get slightly red in the face. "Um, I thought you were pretty cool. You know, when you were fighting that Guardian."

    Albel seemed rather surprised by that. Then he half smirked and said, "It took you THAT long to realize that, maggot?"

    The boy looked down at the chainwhip in his hands and sighed. "I'm so useless... I'm sorry."

    "Yes, you are rather useless, fool," Albel replied. "But only when it comes to listening to me." He added. Kian looked at him, unsure of what he was saying. "When it comes to fighting though... you're not too bad, for a maggot."

    Kian stared at his chainwhip. "You really think so?" he asked back.

    "Yeah, but don't get all big-headed now, fool," answered Albel. "You need training. Lots of it." He turned his back on Kian. "I'll help you with that. But only if you actually listen to me and do as I say. Think you can do that, maggot?"

    For a few moments there was no answer. Albel turned around ready to burn the boy, but then he saw his eyes. The boy's eyes. They seemed to shine and he was holding onto his chainwhip very tightly.

    "I..." Kian seemed a bit out of breath. "I can do it." He nodded. "Thank you..."

    A moment of silence as they stared at each other.

    "That is SO sweet!" Harmony yelled as he ran to them. "GROUP HUG!!!" The big man held them both in an embrace.

    "Harm. Can't. Breathe." Albel said.

    "Me. Neither." added Kian.

    Harmony let them go (as in, dropped them on their bottoms on the ground) with a bit of a giggle. "Sorry. It really felt like a group hugging moment! My yummy delicious sweet aromatic smells!"

    Both Albel and Kian laughed at that. Then they realized they laughed at the same time and at the same thing.

    "Ahem. Well, anyway." Albel got back on his feet. "We should get going. There's a town not far away from here. We should get some rest there."

    "About what the Guardian said..." Kian started saying as he got back up too. "About who stole the Ambrosia Jewel. What do you think of that?"

    Both Harmony and Kian looked at Albel.

    The warrior looked away, deep in thought.

  24. #24
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    Default Re: Albel The Wicked // Chapter 6 is up! + New Track to Soundtrack

    Yay, you're still here! ^_^

    Interesting emotional tension developing between the characters. Harmony's name is pretty accurate, he's keeping the balance here it seems like

    I wonder who took the jewel... It's disturbing that he/she/it was strong enough to bypass the Guardian without killing her, but Albel was injured during the fight and he had to kill her.

    I guess we'll see ^^ Keep writing, thanks for posting the new chapter!
    ~ Lune ~


  25. #25
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    Default Re: Albel The Wicked // Chapter 6 is up! + New Track to Soundtrack

    Quote Originally Posted by Lune the Guardian View Post
    Yay, you're still here! ^_^

    Interesting emotional tension developing between the characters. Harmony's name is pretty accurate, he's keeping the balance here it seems like

    I wonder who took the jewel... It's disturbing that he/she/it was strong enough to bypass the Guardian without killing her, but Albel was injured during the fight and he had to kill her.

    I guess we'll see ^^ Keep writing, thanks for posting the new chapter!
    Yeah, I'm still here. I'm a slow writer though, heh.

    Thanks for following the fic and leaving comments, they're very appreciated.

    I'm glad the story is intriguing you, hope it stays that way.

  26. #26
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    Default Chapter 7: Finding A New Direction

    Brief Recap: Kian's hometown was attacked by a group of mysterious men. They killed his Grandpa. With the help of Albel and Harmony, Kian sets off on the trail of the men to seek vengence. They find out that a sacred jewel was the target of the men. The jewel has been stolen from its resting place. Who stole it? Somebody powerful it seems. Now Kian, Albel and Harmony need to find that person...

    x

    I want to be better.

    I kept saying these words in my mind, over and over again. As though the sheer repetition of the words would magically transform my stupid self into an amazing guy who can break rocks and slash monsters without flinching. Sigh.

    “I can’t hold on... for much longer...” I said, forcing the words out of my tired body. I was standing in an awkward position with one leg in the air.

    “Just keep your focus. Forget everything else. Just focus,” replied Albel, standing next to me. He was also standing on one leg but he seemed way more gracious.

    “Show off...” I muttered under my breath. And then I fell to the ground. Hard. “Gaaaaah!!”

    Albel sighed and broke his stance. “I said focus, fool.”

    I glared at Albel, wishing I could burn that arrogant look off his face. I also wanted to tell him to go fuck himself or something. But I got up... and stood on one leg. I want to be better.

    “Good little boy,” Albel smirked as he also performed the same action.

    My teeth were shaking. Albel looked at me and I did my best to stop them from doing so. But really... training at 5 in the morning on a cold winter day... can you blame me?


    ALBEL THE WICKED
    "Finding A Direction"
    7



    Hmm. It’s warm.

    Very warm...

    Ugh, it’s getting hot, too hot. I can’t see anything. What’s going on? My breath... I can’t feel my breath. Am I even breathing? That feeling. Burning. Fire. Oh my god, I’m burning! I’m burning alive!! Help!! Somebody, help!!!

    “Shhhhhh...”

    Who’s there? What’s happening? Where am I?

    Argh! Bright! It’s too bright! What is it? Please, stop.

    “Shhhhhh...”

    You’re making my head ache.


    * * *

    I woke up, out of breath. It took me a few seconds to calm myself down. I sighed of relief. Then I realized what had just happened.

    I wondered if it was something to do with Grandpa.

    But I didn’t linger too much on it as I didn’t want to wallow in my misery. I got out of the bed. My bare feet touched the cold floor. I remembered that Harmony, who was a bit peeved that Albel and I went to training without him, stayed up waiting for us and then took our clothes to the laundry.

    We were staying at an Inn. Nice room.

    So there I was: wearing nothing except for a pair of boxers. And from the look of it, Harmony hadn’t come back from the laundry yet. Strange, I thought. We came back at around half past six, and it was now close to nine. That’s a long time to do some laundry. I then decided I could go for a shower as it seemed that Albel was out.

    It didn’t hit me at that moment that his clothes were at the laundry too.

    As I was about to open the bathroom door, it opened on its own accord. Well, that’s what I thought for like a millisecond... then I saw Albel. His skin moist from the shower he had just taken. His hair wet. Wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. Loose. The towel. I froze. My eyes were stuck on that towel which looked like it was about to fall.

    “What you doin’, fool?”

    I snapped out of it and took several steps back. I could feel my face burning with embarrassment. Well done, Kian. Your stupidity just reached a whole new level.

    “N-nothing!” I pathetically said back. Then I got on the defensive. “What about you? What are YOU doing?”

    Albel blinked at me with that air of boredom he seemed to have mastered when he was not impressed with me. “You ask the silliest questions, maggot. Go wash yourself already. It might wake up your brain.”

    I glared back at him, though I still felt the burning in my cheeks and ears even.

    “Wait a minute,” Albel said as I was about to close the bathroom door behind me. “Where are our clothes?” I shook my head in response. He sighed. “That smellin’ fool!”

    * * *

    There were two men who walked along the streets of Capriac. The town was big. That was good for them. They were alert and ready to battle at any second.

    They found the place they were looking for. A shop selling antiques. They seemed to be having a big sale though. Everything was half price. Quite a few people in there.

    The two men were not concerned by the sale. But by the young man with a red rose attached to his wrist. The men approached him.

    “Show me,” the young man asked.

    They showed him what they had.

    “Meet me there,” the young man said as he whispered something in their ears.

    And they went their separate ways.

    * * *

    After I got out of the shower, I wrapped myself in my towel and walked out. My clothes were on my bed. Phew.

    I guess I must’ve taken longer than I thought in the shower. Not that I was fussy in the bathroom or anything, but I think I just lost myself in thoughts with the hot water warming me up.

    I was thinking about slowly things seemed to be progressing.

    There was a note on the room’s door: ‘Meet us downstairs.’

    So I did. Both Harmony and Albel were in the, shall we say, ‘dining area’ of the Inn. Really it was just three tables and a few chairs, but I guess when you don’t have many clients, it can seem like a proper dining room. Grandpa’s was nicer and bigger.

    “Yummy smell!” Harmony exclaimed seeing me. “I’m so sorry about your clothes! I wanted them to be reeeeal fresh so that’s why it took so long!” But then he winked at me. “At least you got a little peek at how delicious Albel looks!”

    I coughed out orange juice back in the glass I was holding. I looked at Albel and he didn’t seem to be paying any attention to what Harmony had just said. He was too busy reading the paper. Gah!

    “Don’t say that! I don’t think he’s delicious at all!” I blurted out rather quickly. Hmm. I could tell that it didn’t sound very good.

    “Oh?” Harmony seemed surprised, but yet I could see some sort of malice in his eyes. “Alby isn’t your type then?” He grinned. “Do you prefer the bigger sort?”

    “W-what?” I blushed. “I don’t... that’s not what I meant...”

    Albel rolled his eyes as he folded the newspaper. “Stop teasing him, Harm,” he said. “You know that maggot doesn’t have any sense of humour.”

    Grrr!! “You’re mad because you’re just so damn ugly!” I spat at him. That loser!

    “You cut deep,” Albel smirked back. “Anyway, eat up. We have things to do.”

    Sigh. “Like what?” I asked back as I dug into my breakfast.

    * * *

    “I need... a new... weapon?” I asked in disbelief.

    Albel nodded.

    We were at the Capriac Weapons shop. They had swords and axes decorating the walls. It was rather impressive. The shopkeeper looked scary too and by the way he was looking at me, I don’t think he was very pleased to see me in his shop.

    “Why? My chainwhip...” I said back, instinctively putting a hand on the weapon tied to my waist belt.

    “It’s a weak weapon, fool!” Albel shot back. “You’ll get yourself killed if you only rely on it. You don’t have any decent hand to hand combat skills yet and you can’t use anything else. You’d be screwed in battle. It might have helped back in your hometown when you were fighting off old ladies, but things are different now.”

    I was stung. I didn’t know why. I just was. I grabbed my chainwhip and looked at it, as thought trying to come up with an argument that’d demolish Albel’s attack.

    “Look, you can keep it as a secondary weapon,” Albel said. “It’s always good to have options in battle. But you need something else, something faster and less awkward to use.” He paused and looked at me. “I know what I’m talking about.”

    “Fine...” I sighed. “What do you suggest?”

    “Look around,” he replied. “See what appeals to you most. Maybe a sword?”

    I cringed. “No thanks... the cutting... the slicing... ugh. No, thank you.”

    He almost grinned at that. “The fierce Kian feeling queasy about some meat slicin’? What a surprise.” Albel was enjoying this.

    I looked around. Even though it was hard not to watch Harmony scaring the other customers not only by his size but by the fact that he was playing with all the weapons he could see. The shopkeeper didn’t dare tell him off. Hehehe.

    What weapon to choose then? A mace? Pff, no. It looked lame. Some ring shaped blade thingy? Slicing again, nope. A gun? Hmm...

    “What about this?” I asked Albel, pointing to black gun. The tag said Erevolver.

    “Not bad...” Albel replied. “I think it’ll suit you.”

    “Because it’s so deadly?” I replied.

    “No, because that’s what they give to girls,” Albel smirked back.

    “Fine, I don’t want it then,” I shot back. “I’m not a girl!”

    * * *

    I walked out of the Weapons shop... holding the Erevolver in my hand. At least it was black and silver. I glared at Albel. Harmony was humming a song, trying not to laugh.

    “You’re not going to train me to become as good as you, eh?” I asked, not angry, not sad, just... defeated? I don’t know.

    “What did you just say, fool?” Albel looked smug. “Did you just give me a compliment? Now that’s a rare thing.”

    I looked down at my new weapon. I felt stupid.

    “It suits you,” Albel said. “It’s not a gun with bullets. It’s an energy gun that uses your own energy as ammunition. It will drain you out very quickly the first few times you use it. But the more you use it, the more you’ll be able to build your stamina and train your body to strengthen your energy.”

    Whoa. That sounded pretty cool! “Really? It can do that?” I replied. “But... will it kill...?”

    Albel took a moment before answering that. “Depending on you, yes, it can kill.”

    I felt a shiver... Don’t know if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

    “It’s a very expensive weapon,” Harmony joined in. “Like... reeeeally expensive. You’re so lucky you have O Delicious One as your friend! Not a lot of people can afford something like this!”

    “Harm, seriously...” Albel didn’t seem very pleased.

    Harmony looked hurt. I looked... shocked.

    “Thank you,” I said to Albel.

    “Just make sure you don’t lose it or break it, fool.” And with that Albel started walking away.

    * * *

    Albel headed towards what seemed to be the most modern looking building of the town. I couldn’t believe how much bigger the town was compared to Jaarys. They had so much more stuff. We didn’t even have a proper Weapons shop.

    We walked in and there were screens everywhere and people in front of them, touching spots on the screens. I’ve read about those, they’re like communication devices. We had one in Jaarys, in the Education Centre. It was one of the early models. Not very good, not very fast and it crashed every now and then.

    I felt like I just walked into another world pretty much. I glanced at the many screens around us and saw people reading things, playing games, even watching things! It was amazing.

    Albel went to the counter and got a small card. We then proceeded to find a free screen and he inserted his card in the slot underneath. The screen changed and stuff appeared all over it. Albel quickly pressed on some of the things on the screen and he got to a place where messages were waiting for him.

    “Hmm...” He was reading something. “Seems like my source can’t give me any info via the Screen. We’ll have to meet him face to face.”

    “Doesn’t sound good,” Harmony said.

    Albel quietly agreed it seemed.

    “Is it about the Ambrosia Jewel and stuff?” I asked.

    “Yes, fool,” he replied. “And keep it quiet.”

    I looked around, nobody seemed to be looking at us. “Do you have any thoughts on who did it? Any theories or something?” I wanted answers.

    “There’s too little to speculate on,” Albel replied. “We’ll have to wait and see what my source has to say. I think it will give us a more solid direction.”

    I looked back at the screen and apparently, we were now headed to Urgan.

    * * *

    Somewhere, two men were dead. Murdered.

    Their bodies on the floor with eyes that revealed their death wasn’t pleasant.

    A young man sitting under a tree, playing with something.

    “Jaiian,” an older man said. “They’re moving.”

    “Where to?” asked Jaiian, the young man.

    “Urgan.”

    Jaiian smiled.

    He smiled as he stared at the Jewel in his hands.
    Last edited by Cadmus; 7th July 2009 at 02:44 PM.

  27. #27
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    Default Chapter 8 - To Urgan

    Brief Recap: Kian's hometown was attacked by a group of mysterious men. They killed his Grandpa. With the help of Albel and Harmony, Kian sets off on the trail of the men to seek vengence. They find out that a sacred jewel was the target of the men. The jewel has been stolen from its resting place. Who stole it? Somebody powerful it seems. Now Kian, Albel and Harmony need to find that person. To find out more about what is happening, Albel decides to meet up with his 'source' in Urgan...


    We didn’t stay any longer in Capriac. Albel wanted to move along pretty quickly. I didn’t mind, I wanted to get going too. Harmony on the other hand was a bit disappointed.

    “But I wanted to smell those pretty pretty things!!” He whined with teary eyes. Albel just looked at him with unphased eyes. “You’re soooo mean!” Harmony added.

    “We don’t have time for this, Harm,” replied Albel. “You can go to brothels later!”

    Harmony gasped and quickly glanced at me and then back at Albel. We were in the buggy, on our way out of Capriac and heading towards our next destination; Urgan.

    “ALBY!” Harmony whined even louder. “Don’t say that in front of yummy bunny!”

    I frowned as I realized he was referring to me. “I really don’t care what you do with your time,” I said. To be honest I was kind of shocked that Harmony wanted to go to a brothel. I guess I couldn’t imagine him being into... stuff like that.

    “Oh yummy bunny! You’re so open minded.” Harmony said to me with a teary smile.

    Albel scoffed and commented, “Oh, Harm, the lack of ‘pretty things’ sure make you say silly things.”

    I glared at Albel from my backseat. “What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked. “Don’t you think I’m open minded?”

    With a sigh Albel turned the radio up. A song by Original Doll was playing.

    Maybe it was just a stupid thought, but, for some reason, I felt like Albel was... worried. To me that seemed like a farfetched idea. Albel never came across as the ‘worried’ type to me. Then again, I didn’t think Harmony was the ‘brothel’ type either.

    I wondered what was waiting for us at Urgan.

    ALBEL THE WICKED
    "Sleepless Night"
    8



    I ran and ran as fast I could.

    They were closing in on me. Damn it!

    This door is locked! NO! I wasted time trying to open it.

    I kept running. I thought my heart was going to explode.

    ARGH!

    An explosion threw me through glass.

    I stayed on the ground. Too hurt to move. Too tired to even try.

    Footsteps. Laughter.

    “You’re one wild little girl, aren’t you?”

    I felt fear. I checked if my skirt was still covering me... stupid thing to check at a time like this. I hear more laughter. Were they laughing at me?

    I then blacked out.


    * * *

    I couldn’t sleep.

    We stopped for the night. We have been travelling for hours. Pretty much half the day. And some more hours after the sun went down. Albel really wanted to get the least distance possible between us and Urgan.

    But we couldn’t keep going without taking a break. I couldn’t drive, not that he’d ever let me, and Harmony wasn’t feeling very well. He had a fever by the looks of it. The strange thing though was that Albel and Harmony seemed to be in a sort of routine. I’m not sure how better to explain this.

    Anyway, we ate a bit, Albel cooked. Didn’t taste too bad. Harmony bought some supplies to keep us going when he went to do the laundry back in Capriac. We didn’t talk at all. Harmony was too sick to even try to smell me. I was glad for that. And Albel... well, he was lost in his own thoughts.

    I stared at the flames of the heater placed at the center of our ‘camp’. Our sleeping bags were laid around it in a circle. I thought about how expensive those heaters must have been. Expensive to me anyway. I supposed Albel must have been pretty wealthy. He was Albel the Wicked, after all. The crackling of the fire heater was what made most of the noise until we all got into our sleeping bags and went to sleep.

    Except for me. I tossed and turned in my bag. I even tried staying still and thinking of nothing. But no sleep. I don’t know... To be honest, I think I was having another cold sweat realisation that I was all alone. No family, no friends. Grandpa was gone. Not just on a trip to the neighbouring town... gone. Forever.

    I sat up. It was cold, but the heater was at least helping. Sigh. I thought of my friends too. Well... friends. I didn’t even know if I should have called them that. I didn’t see them after the attack... I felt guilty all of a sudden... I hadn’t really thought about them that much. I really wished that all that happened was just a long and terrible nightmare.

    “What’s wrong, fool?”

    I gasped, startled.

    I looked at Albel’s sleeping bag... it was empty.
    “Behind you.”

    I turned around and there he was, sitting against the buggy. He had a bottle in his hands, filled with a black liquid. He didn’t look as annoyed or cold as before though.

    “What are you doing?” I asked, whispering, not wanting to wake Harmony up.

    “I’m baking cakes,” replied Albel, speaking a little louder than me. “What do you think I’m doing, fool?”

    I rubbed my face with my hands in frustration. Why did he always have to find a way to yell at me? It annoyed me. But I was feeling too... down, I guess, to argue or fight back. So I asked, “What are you drinking?”

    Albel looked at me for a moment and then replied, “Syn. Ever heard of it?”

    He didn’t sound mean or cold. Was he building me up to bring me down harder? I replied, cautiously, “Y-yeah. Grandpa told me about it. Well, it was more of an order not to ever drink it. Water was what he said I should drink. Always.”

    That made Albel smirk a little bit. “A bit over the top,” he said, “but he was right.” He took a sip of the drink. “It’s bad for you.” Then he said, “Want a taste?”

    I stared back in shock. One, this was the closest to being nice that Albel had ever been and two, I just told him that my now dead Grandpa asked me to never drink it and he thought I was going to have a taste?

    I don’t know why... I moved to sit next to him. Ready to have a taste, as he said. Did I not want to say no since he was being so nice?

    He handed me the bottle and I looked at it. The drink was actually fizzy now that I could see it closer. It smelled rather nice too. Maybe just a taste... that wouldn’t be too bad.

    But I couldn’t. I couldn’t go against my Grandpa’s wishes. It was silly... He asked me never to fight, never to leave town... And yet I disobeyed. But when it came to not drinking Syn... I couldn’t do it.

    I handed the bottle back to Albel.

    “Sorry,” I said, as I started to move back to my sleeping bag.

    “Don’t move, fool,” Albel said quickly.

    “Why? What’s wrong? Did you see something?” I panicked a little bit as I moved back to where I was.

    Then he placed an arm around my shoulder. My heart skipped a beat.

    “Just shut up,” he said. “Stay here for a while.”

    I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t move. I watched him as he took another sip of his drink. I don’t know how much time passed, probably minutes, maybe half an hour, but... I felt my eyes closing on their own. They were too heavy for some reason. It felt warm too. Then I felt my head slowly going to rest on Albel’s shoulder. I couldn’t fight it... I felt too tired. And... it felt nice... to rest on his shoulder.

    * * *

    “I thought we were going to wait for them?” Cid sounded kind of disappointed. He spat out the tobacco he was chewing on and sighed. The bright sun showed his age. His face looked old with a few scars. He was in his forties.

    The leader, who was much younger, smirked. “We have something much more important to do. Besides, I’m sure she’ll be able to handle the great Albel.” He snickered. “Fucking Albel... Can’t wait to kill that bastard.”

    “Well, she might do it for you,” said Cid, frowning.

    Jaiian kept his smirk as he watched over the town. He was on a hill. “Did you get what I asked?”

    Cid nodded. “Yeah, it’s all there.”

    “Good. Time to move.” Jaiian started walking away.

    Cid glanced at the town once more, looking like he wanted to stay and greet Albel and his friends, but shaking his head he followed his boss.

    * * *

    It was the sunshine that woke me up.

    Right in my eyes. I opened them and it was so bright. I was shaking too. But that was because the buggy was moving. I had been placed in the backseat it seemed. I couldn’t believe I slept through being placed there. Like a child. Ugh. How annoying.

    “Ooh, yummy bunny is awake!” Harmony grinned. He was in the passenger’s seat. “You must’ve had a really good dream.”

    “Huh?” I felt my mouth was dry. “What makes you say that?” Voice not working properly yet. I hate waking up.

    “You slept through so many bumps on the road! Such a sleepy head you are. A very very yummy one!” Harmony giggled. For someone that big, he sure didn’t care about being manly or anything.

    “Yeah, I guess.” I looked at Albel. He was driving and was silent. Deep in thoughts probably or very focused on the road. What happened the night before came back to me and I could feel my cheeks burning up a bit. I tried thinking of something else by looking out the window. I saw that we were passing by a town. It looked small. Compared to Capriac anyway.

    “Are we close to Urgan?” I asked. To be honest, I didn’t really care how far we were from our destination at that moment. I just... ugh. It was so stupid. I just wanted to talk to Albel.

    I think Harmony got what I was getting at since he didn’t reply himself and allowed Albel to do so. But... for some reason, Albel didn’t respond. So after a moment, probably realizing Harmony didn’t answer me...

    “Are you talking to me, fool?” Albel asked. He sounded annoyed. Great.

    “Y-yeah.” I was getting annoyed at myself too. “Well, I was asking to both of you really...” I didn’t look at Harmony. Scared he might rat me out.

    “We are close,” he replied, still sounding rather cold. “And since you’re asking, you will be staying close to Harm. At all times.”

    I frowned. I despised that tone in his voice which said I was a useless thing. I know I can be useless in battles sometimes but no need to remind me like that! “Isn’t that what I always do anyway?” I shot back.

    “Urgan is a very dangerous town,” he said. “And I’m having an important meeting, so I won’t have time to babysit you. I sure hope you’ll do as you’re told.”

    Even though I was fuming, I couldn’t help but feel disheartened. I thought he was all about training me and stuff... and the night before he was all nice to me. And now he was being a jerk again. I didn’t get him at all.

    I stayed silent.

    * * *

    They were in a dark place, a cave. Water drops was the only background noise for a while there. Cid then started chewing on his tobacco. He was nervous. Really, he didn’t want to be there. He would have preferred to have stayed in Urgan instead.

    “Well, the preparations are almost complete,” said a masked man. There were several masked men in the cave, surrounding Cid and Jaiian. “W-what would you like us to do now?” The masked man talking was the leader of his gang it seemed.

    “Now you all leave,” replied Jaiian. “I need to do the final phase by myself.”

    Cid almost swallowed his tobacco. “Are you serious?!” He shook his head. “Have you ever done anything like this before? What if something goes horribly wrong?”

    Jaiian let out a chuckle. “Careful there, Cid,” he said. “It’s almost like you are worried about me.”

    Cid made a noise. The masked men chuckled to themselves. “And what are we supposed to do while you’re busy with your final phase?” Cid demanded, a little bit aggressively.

    “Just make sure nobody comes nearby,” Jaiian replied. “By any means necessary.”

    Cid nodded and with the masked men, he left the cave.

    Jaiian was now left by himself. Before him was drawn a circle with symbols all around it. A few torches were burning on the walls.

    “Looks perfect,” Jaiian whispered to himself. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

    He then grabbed something from his pocket and slammed it on the center of the circle. It began to glow and shine brightly.

    “I can feel it,” Jaiian said outloud. He laughed a little bit. “It’s working! Fuuuuck! It’s working!! I can feel it!!” He was grinning. “Here comes the nightmare!”
    Last edited by Cadmus; 26th July 2009 at 01:24 PM.

  28. #28
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    Default Re: Albel The Wicked // Chapter *8* + Soundtrack Updated + Brief Recap!

    Ooh, juicy chapters. I don't know how I missed the previous one. Sorry about that.

    Are Kian's nightmares a recent thing, or are they simply becoming more pronounced? They seem to be getting important, since they were placed at the lead of the latest two chapters. Interesting how Albel's "girl" comment seemed to brush off on Kian and made it into his nightmare.

    Cute how Albel didn't like that Harmony told Kian how expensive the Erevolver was. Seems like a weapon that'll really scale with Kian's improvement. Maybe he can get better at it.

    This quote was funny:

    “ALBY!” Harmony whined even louder. “Don’t say that in front of yummy bunny!”

    Lol, yummy bunny. And silly Harmony, does he think Kian doesn't know what brothels are? Harmony cracks me up.

    The jewel is really bothering me. Jaiian seems to be doing some kind of weird ritual that has been done before. When? And with what power source? And it seems like it's some kind of crack-like substance, maybe an artificial provider of Harmony-like powers? No idea. I guess I'll wait to find out.

    Also, who is "she"? Hmmmm...

    [EDIT]: Also, the latest soundtracks are very provocative and suitable for the occasion.
    Last edited by Lune the Guardian; 26th July 2009 at 09:30 PM.
    ~ Lune ~


  29. #29
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    Default Re: Albel The Wicked // Chapter *8* + Soundtrack Updated + Brief Recap!

    Hey Lune, thanks a lot for your feedback and comments.

    I like writing Harmony, he's fun to write for. And yeah, as you mentioned before (I think) he really does provide some sort of balance for the main characters. I'm glad it's working out that way. Hehe.

    Well, I know I wrote the nightmares in the 1st person (which can create confusion) but are they really Kian's? Maybe, maybe not. They will make sense at some point in the story. At least one will sooner rather than later.

    It does look like Jaiian knows what he's doing with that Jewel, doesn't it? Makes you indeed wonder if he has somewhat performed what he's doing before. Wait and see.

    Bit by bit, all will fall into place, hopefully.

    Thanks for checking the soundtrack out, it's a little extra to add to the overall story so I'm glad you are enjoying it.

    Your feedback is always appreciated!

  30. #30
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    Default Chapter 9

    Not a light came into the basement. Then again, you wouldn’t want prisoners to feel cheerful or something like that. You would want them feeling utter darkness. And it was working. A young girl, chained up, was crying her heart out.

    “Don’t worry, little girl,” came a voice, young and sweet. “We will help you get out of here. No need to cry.” The voice belonged to a red headed boy. He was locked in a cage.

    “Maybe you should think of saving yourself before saving others,” said another voice, young too but definitely not sweet. The voice belonged to another red headed boy. He was locked in the same cage as the other one. They looked exactly the same.

    “Vincent!” said the sweet one. “Don’t say that!”

    “Okay then, Sasha,” replied Vincent. “Maybe instead of consoling that bitch, you could come up with a pan. An ESCAPE plan?”

    Sasha glared at his twin and crossed his arms. “For Moon’s sake! You’re so... ugh!”

    Vincent smirked and glanced at Sasha. “You love me,” he said.

    “Shut up,” Sasha shot back instantly.

    The girl was staring at the boys in disbelief.

    “The bitch isn’t crying anymore,” Vincent commented.

    Sasha’s face beamed of joy as he clapped his hands. “Hurray! Success!” He grinned.

    Vincent sighed, “We are so fucking screwed.”

    ALBEL THE WICKED
    “Stepping Up The Game”
    9



    When we were getting closer to Urgan’s main gate, I could feel the tension in the buggy going up a notch. Albel had been telling me how dangerous the town was. I wondered if it was true or him making it up to keep me in line. But when we actually got there...

    “Where is everyone?” I asked, as the buggy crossed the Gate and entered Urgan. There were no guards at the Gate itself and everywhere looked shut. Closed. “This is weird, right?” I tried again, seeing as neither Albel nor Harmony were answering me.

    “Smells definitely dodgy, yummy bunny,” Harmony finally replied. I could see he was on the lookout. I glanced at Albel, and he was in the same state too.

    We kept driving around for a while. And everywhere we looked, things were shut. Until we got to what looked like a... bar?

    “Alby...” Harmony said, almost whispering. For once, their code wasn’t hard to break. This was definitely not a good thing.

    The buggy stopped at the bar. The door of the place was wide open. But still, I couldn’t see anybody or hear anybody. There wasn’t even music playing. Whenever I passed the bar in Jaarys, there was always music playing. And people being loud.

    “Kian,” Albel finally spoke. And just by the fact that he used my name, I guessed easily what he was about to say.

    “Yeah, yeah, I know,” I interrupted him. “Stay in the buggy. Don’t move. Whatever.”

    But he looked at me. He said, “Keep your Erevolver at the ready. Stay close to Harmony. And keep your eyes and ears open.”

    I lost my breath for a second there. “W-what? What about me being in the way and all that?” I said back. I don’t why I was complaining since I was getting what I wanted...

    “I didn’t get you a new weapon just to use as an accessory, fool,” he said. His voice coming back to that natural tone I’m so used to. “You’d also be in more danger if you’re left in here. So best stay close to Harmony. Fight only if you must. If you’re not ready to use your new weapon yet, make sure your chainwhip is at the ready as well.”

    I nodded, taking in what he was saying. It was the first time that he actually sounded like he was trusting me. And... that was scary.

    We all got out of the buggy and we all were very cautious. The sun was shining rather brightly but it got darker once in a while. Big clouds in the sky. I tried not to think of it as a bad omen or anything.

    I looked at Albel and he deemed it safe enough to walk into the bar. I don’t know why but I felt that both him and Harmony knew something I didn’t. But anyway, we made our way into the bar, again, cautiously.

    The bar was empty. No surprise there. I looked around, as Albel told me to, but I guess not as expertly as him and Harmony. I glanced around quickly, from left to right, top to bottom. Erm. And yeah, I didn’t see anything. Then...

    “Harm...” Albel said, whispering. He had stopped. Harmony approached to see what was up. He too froze in his tracks.

    “Oh, that’s nasty,” Harmony commented.

    Obviously I was intrigued so I quickly approached Albel as well to see what he was looking at. And... well... it was rather anticlimactic.

    “It’s a, erm, drink?” I said, a bit surprised. The thing they were both looking at was a glass of something (by the smell of it, I guessed it was an alcoholic drink).

    Albel turned around to face the entrance door. I looked at him, weirded out by his... weird behaviour.

    “Harm,” he said. “Make sure to keep Kian safe. That is your priority. Understand?”

    Harmony nodded, “There was no need to ask, O most delicious smell of all.”

    I cringed a little bit. Funnily enough not because of Harm’s ridiculous nickname but because Albel was once again being a jerk. First it was ‘protect him’, then it was ‘you can fight’ and now it was back to ‘protect him’ again. Ugh.

    Albel’s eyes locked with mine. And... there was something... something different. He spoke, a bit softer than usual and said, “It’s a trap. We have been ambushed. I’m guessing the Gate is now closed and locked. This could get ugly very quickly.”

    He was freaking me out, I have to confess. “Do you know who’s behind it?”

    “Yes.”

    Albel didn’t say anything else on the identity of that person. He just added, “I hope you have listened to me. I hope your weapons are ready to use. We will be outnumbered and they are not going to take any prisoners.”

    I placed my hand on the Erevolver attached to my belt. “I’m ready,” I said.

    * * *

    Cid was sitting on a hill overlooking the town of Urgan. He chewed on his tobacco, but whether he was nervous or not, it couldn’t be told. The masked men stood around him.

    “Do you ever think about what you’re doing?” asked Cid, staring at the town. Still chewing on his tobacco.

    “I only think when I’m allowed to,” replied the Leader of the Masked Men. His voice had a dull but yet firm tone to it.

    “What kind of crappy answer is that?” Cid yelled back. “I’m talking about LIFE!” He sounded excited too. “Do you ever think about where you are in life?”

    “I am where I am.”

    “Argh!” Cid was getting very frustrated. “You really can’t answer for yourself? That’s damn sad!” He sighed though after a moment. “Or damn lucky... you don’t have to deal with crap.”

    “I consider myself lucky,” nodded the Leader. His voice was passionless though.

    Cid looked back at the Leader who was standing straight and still, like a soldier. “I think you are,” Cid said. “You know what I’m doing right now?”

    “Waiting for your boss to finish what he’s doing,” the Leader answered.
    Cid nodded. “Well... yeah. Hey, wait!” He jumped on his feet. “He’s not my boss! We’re partners! Equal!”

    “If you say so.”

    Sitting back down on the grass, Cid said, “Anyway! I’m also thinking about my life. The things I’ve done. The things I’m doing. The things I’m about to do... Best way to get a damn headache!”

    “You talk too much,” the Leader said.

    “...yeah,” replied Cid after a moment. “You’re right. Let’s just wait.”

    * * *

    “Smelly surroundings!” exclaimed Harmony as we walked out of the bar.

    “Oh... wow...” I whispered to myself.

    There were around twenty odd looking female beings in front of us. They had weird green skin, and spikes coming out of their arms and head. They looked like female reptiles. Female reptiles wearing waitresses outfits. Weird.

    Albel made a few steps forward and said, “I see you’ve brought your army with you.” He paused and then said, a bit louder, “Gondra.”

    I quickly glanced to Harmony and he quickly told me something about that ‘Gondra’ person. She was the one who left the glass in the bar. A sort of ‘last drink’ before the battle.

    “Bahahaha!” The laughter came for what looked like a fat version of the reptile women. She had more spikes though and the colours of her dress were darker than the others. “Albel!” She exclaimed as she walked into view. “You arrogant she-twig! It's been too long. How have you been?”

    Albel smirked, and I could see the faintest sign of a glow in his eyes. “Better than you, fool. You've put on quite a bit of weight. Guess that diet never worked.”

    Gondra looked annoyed. “Hmph. You are easy on the insults, Alfreakin'bel! But guess what? Words won't save your skinny ass.” She now had a big grin on her reptilian face. “I am here to kill you.”

    Harmony suddenly started making a funny face, like he was in pain or something. “Ooh, you're a nasty smell! You disgust my nose.” He said, looking at Gondra. I snickered to myself.

    “Shut up, you big freak!” Gondra yelled back.

    “Your face is a big freak!” I snapped back. No idea where that came from or why I even said it. I just... did. Albel gave me a quick glance, but it was so quick I didn’t know whether he was mad or not. Harmony clearly was touched though... I could tell by the big tears in his eyes.

    Gondra looked at me, her eyes wide open. “What's that? Bahahahaha!” She then turned to look at Albel. “You still carry boys around with you? You skirt wearing pervert.”

    I was a bit stung by that comment. Clearly those two have a history together... and... ‘still carry boys around’? What was that supposed to mean?

    Albel’s response was violent, “I'll enjoy smashing that foul mouth of yours until you beg me to stop and kill you already, you cow-sized maggot.”

    Gondra looked very annoyed now and grumbled something. Then she took a deep breath and screamed out, “SPIKICHITTAS! ATTACK!!”

    “Bring it on, fool!” Albel shot back.

    Albel unleashed his sword and slashed through three of the Spikichittas to confront their leader; Gondra!

    Meanwhile, Harmony and I got to take care of the ‘little army’. Four of them engaged us into combat. The rush I was feeling scared me but also gave me the courage I needed to finally step up and show Albel that I could stand on my own.

    A Spikichitta made her way towards me, I took my Erevolver and went for it. I shot at her. Didn’t work. Nothing came out. Dammit! She was getting closer. I tried again, focusing... and it worked!! I shot at her, stunning her. YES!

    Harmony was busy dealing with three of the Spikichittas at a time to celebrate my first victory with me. I got myself together and aimed at the ones trying to sneak up behind him. Bam! Bam! Bam! The shots were now easily going!

    One punched me in the gut from behind. Dammit! Ugh. That hurt. I quickly turned out to shoot at her, but she grabbed me, trying to wrestle the Erevolver out of my hand. I thought quickly and kicked her back in the gut. It made her loosen her grip on my hand and I shot her in the FACE! Take that!!

    I felt waves of wind coming from nearby. I turned to see what it was and I saw that Albel and Gondra were engaged in a rather fierce battle. Albel was jumping around, trying to hit the massive reptile woman with his sword. Her skin was tough. She, on the other hand, really seemed to have a foul mouth. She spit some sort of venomous boiling liquid around, melting parts of things like signs and even the ground.

    Pow! Punched in the face by a Spikichitta. She had a weapon with her. A knife... or a sword, I couldn’t tell. She tried to hit me with it. I dodged it in time. My heart was racing. She almost cut me! Aaaah! I shot as many energy balls as I could at her. She went to the ground.

    “SMELL THIS!”

    That was Harmony. He got bigger in size. Way bigger. He was punching the Spikichittas around like they were nothing. He was scary when he used his power. I shook my head. No time to be impressed. I looked at Albel. He and Gondra were bruised. Both had taken a lot of hits from each other.

    “Get the boy!”

    Two Spikichittas were running towards me, their teeth showing. I aimed. I shot. I missed. Dammit! They tackled me to the ground and started beating me up. One had some sort of wooden bat! Ow! Ow! OW! I couldn’t feel my Erevolver. Dammit. My chainwhip! I grabbed it quickly as I kept getting kicked, punched and all. I then managed to tie it to one of the hands punching me and used it as leverage to get back on my feet and HEADBUTT the Spikichitta! It hurt me! But her too! I wildly kicked and punched around, getting away from them. Scanned the ground for my Erevolver. Found it. Grabbed it.

    Bam! Bam! Bam! I didn’t miss this time. To the ground they went. I looked around for more... but I couldn’t see any. There were a pile of them around Harmony. He looked at me too... he was smiling. Then in unision we both looked at Albel. His battle with Gondra was still going. The big reptile woman had a big cut on her arm and claw marks all over her face. Albel’s arm was bleeding and he seemed to have hurt his leg.

    I was about to run to his help but Harmony blocked my way. He shook his head. I looked back at him in disbelief. Then he said, “It’s his battle. Let him be. Trust me, yummy bunny. He can handle her.”

    I wanted to protest. But Harmony looked like he was ready to grab me and hold me in place if I tried to move. So I didn’t say anything and watched on.

    “Time to end this... you freak!” Gondra got ready for a big spit of venom.

    “Your mouth... it’ll be the end of you, maggot!” Albel gritted his teeth, his eyes glowing. He looked like he was getting ready for a big move as well.

    Then the ground began to shake.

    “What the...?!” Gondra stopped what she was doing.

    Albel stopped too. “This is not your doing, fool?”

    The ground shook even more violently. Like something massive was approaching.

    I looked at Harmony, he seemed as clueless as I was. What was happening?

    Then we heard it. A scarring roar, belonging to some sort of animal.

    One of the walls of the town got blown off from the outside. We all looked in that direction.

    And then we saw it.

  31. #31
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    Default Chapter 10 - Crescendo

    As the battle was raging outside, in a basement, prisoners of a cage, Vincent and Sasha looked intense. They were listening. Trying to understand by the sounds they were hearing what was happening. The girl in the cage looked scared and she was shaking all over.

    “What is going on out there?” Sasha rubbed his arms with his hands. It wasn’t really cold but for some reason he felt like warming up. Maybe it was the goosebumps on his skin.

    Vincent swore under his breath. “Something exciting, I bet. And we’re not part of it.” He kicked the cage. A flash. Vincent stumbled back, grimacing. “Damn barrier!”

    “It’s all your fault really,” Sasha commented, looking reprehensively at Vincent.

    “How is it MY fault?” Vincent glared back.

    Sasha got closer to Vincent. “You – walked – into – the – damn – trap!” He said, poking Vincent in the chest for each word.

    “Gah!” Vincent got into Sasha’s face. “How was *I* supposed to KNOW that they had this stupid magical thing set up? I – am – not – CLAIRVOYANT!” He poked Sasha back on the chest for the last few words.

    Looking away with disdain, Sasha retorted, “Clearly.”

    KABOOM!

    An explosion. The basement was still standing but a lot of bricks fell on the floor, which was covered in weird symbols. There were several flashes of light and what sounded almost like light bulbs exploding. Then, the sound of a lock breaking open.

    The twins, who got down to the floor when the explosion occurred, stood back up. The girl looked more frightened than ever. Sasha put a hand on her face and smiled at her.

    “Looks like the angels are finally with us,” said Sasha, speaking a bit softly.

    Vincent checked Sasha to see if he was injured. “Not sure I’d call that an act of ‘angels’.”

    Sasha rolled his eyes with a smile as he kept his attention on the girl. “You know what? I am now feeling much better so don’t worry, I will get us out of here. You’ll see. You’re safe.”

    Vincent spun and kicked the cage door open. He smirked to himself, “Damn. That felt good!”

    “Hey!” Sasha was now looking at the broken door. “I was going to get us out!”

    With a smug look on his face, Vincent replied, “Yeah, well, you talk too much.”

    “@#%#%##!” Sasha was not amused by Vincent’s remark. The girl looked on, unsure of what was happening.

    “Yeah, I love you too,” Vincent smirked as he began walking away.

    Sasha melted instantly and went all “Awww!”

    “You’re so easy,” Vincent chuckled. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

    ALBEL THE WICKED
    "Crescendo"
    10



    As they walked out of the bar, Sasha, Vincent and the Girl finally laid their eyes on what has been happening while they were being held captive by the magical cage.

    The town of Urgan was on fire. Literally. Explosions were occurring here and there. The heat of the fires were already making the three of them sweaty. They could also hear voices. But they couldn’t see where they were coming from or to whom they belonged to.

    Vincent and Sasha looked at each other, clearly worried by what they were seeing. The girl who was already scared to death was shaking even more than when she was in the cage. In fact, it seemed like she would prefer to go back to the cage.

    “Vincent...” Sasha got closer to Vincent, grabbing his hand. “This is... scary.”

    Holding Sasha’s hand tight, Vincent was cautious, “Stay close to me. I can’t see who or what is causing all this ruckus.”

    They could hear the sounds of a battle, or maybe even several battles, underway. The most distinct noise though was the one of a sword hitting something hard. Vincent focused on that one. He couldn’t make out exactly where it was coming from though. The flames and the heat were really annoying.

    “...there!”

    It was the girl. She was pointing in a certain direction.

    “Oh my god!” Sasha turned to the girl, letting go of Vincent’s hand. “You can talk!” He grinned. “How cute! Did you hear that, Vincent? She talked!”

    The girl blushed and looked down at her feet.

    “Sasha...” Vincent said, looking to where the girl had pointed. “Stay with her. I have to go and see.”

    Sasha grabbed Vincent’s hand again. “NO! You’re not going alone! You need me!”

    “Sasha, please,” Vincent looked at Sasha in the eyes. “Please.”

    It was clear that Sasha didn’t want to let Vincent go on his own but in the end, he let go of his hand. His eyes teared up. “Be careful,” Sasha said, his voice a bit weak.

    “You too.”

    And with that Vincent was gone. Sasha sighed and wiped away a tear or two. He then turned to the girl and gave her his hand.

    The girl looked at him for a moment, as if wondering whether or not she should take it or just run away since she had been freed from the cage.

    “Are you scared of me?” Sasha asked softly.

    Looking into his eyes the girl thought for a moment more and then smiled a little as she took his hand.

    “Good!” Sasha grinned. “Now let’s find a safe place to wait.”

    * * *

    Vincent could feel the heat of the flames getting more intense. Was it the battle or maybe more explosions that was causing the surge of heat? He found it hard to think and breathe as he made his way into the paths that were accessible. He tried to focus on the sounds. The sounds of battle. The sounds of the sword.

    He stopped. He couldn’t hear the sounds as well. Did he lose himself? A wrong turn? Not focused enough! He grumbled and swore under his breath. Where was the battle? Where was ‘he’? Then he thought of Sasha. Maybe it would be best to turn around and head back to him. Find another way.

    “Is that all you got, fool? I’ll make ash out of you!”

    That voice. No mistake. It was ‘him’. ‘He’ was alive. Vincent smirked and rushed towards the voice. And sure enough, after jumping through a curtain of flames (burning himself a little bit in the process!), Vincent was now in the battle that Albel the Wicked was into.

    “Damn... what IS that thing?” Vincent was stunned.

    The thing that he was referring to was a Beast, at least 4 metres high and bulky, very bulky. But one other thing that was really unique about that Beast was that... he was made of rocks. At least, it looked like rocks. Black rocks which also looked like they were hot.

    Albel growled, his eyes having that faint golden glow to them. He was bruised though. Very bruised. He had his sword in his hands. He was breathing hard. His eyes were on the Beast and his katana was ready for more action, even though the blade clearly was holding on as well as Albel himself.

    “Need some help then?” Vincent took a combat stance, standing next to Albel. The Beast was staring at Albel. Had it noticed Vincent yet?

    “I thought you were dead, fool.”

    Vincent looked at Albel, shocked. Genuinely and utterly shocked. “You’re kidding, right? Surely you can’t think THAT lowly of me?!”

    “This maggot’s tough,” Albel said, his eyes still on the Beast.

    “Not tough enough to face the both of us though, I bet,” Vincent smirked looking back at the Beast. “Besides, is it even awake? He hasn’t moved an inch.”

    “It knows it’ll defeat us,” Albel replied, smirking as well know.

    “Well, that’s a bit presumptuous, don’t you think? I mean, it hardly knows us.” Vincent waved at the Beast. “But hey, I guess we have to prove him wrong, right?”

    “Guess so, fool,” Albel’s grip on the handle of his sword tightened.

    “Hey, don’t call me that! The pile of rocks won’t have time to get to you if I decide to kick your ass!”

    Albel smirked, “Shut up and fight.”

    Albel jumped in the air and hit the Beast with his sword. The attack had seemingly no effect on the monster who threw a punch at Albel who managed to block it, but just a bit. Vincent took a deep breath and lashed out at the Beast. He threw a series of punches and kicks at the rocky monster. They were not your usual kind of punches and kicks though as they had some sort of electrical spark to them. And when they connected they created very faint flashes of light. But even those special punches and kicks didn’t seem to phase the Beast who with a backhand threw Vincent away.

    But Albel wasn’t done as he used his clawed hand to dig into the Beast’s skin. Did it work? Hard to tell. Albel’s claw did manage to get a hold or a grip on the monster’s back but the monster didn’t make any sounds of pain or even tried to shake Albel off. Instead It started running backwards into a wall, smashing it. Albel let go and fell on the pile of broken bricks. He was squirming and grimacing. He was taking quite a lot of blows. The Beast stared at him for a moment before going for a punch. But Albel moved out of the way at the last second.

    SLAAAAAAAAASH!

    Albel hit the monster as hard as he could with his katana.

    The monster roared and backhanded him away. It then started moving.

    Vincent had trouble moving but managed to yell, “Yeah that’s right! Walk away! That’s what you get for messing with us!” He coughed.

    Albel used his katana as leverage to help him stand back up. He growled. His eyes full of anger. The intensity of his golden glow grew stronger.

    * * *

    Finding a safe spot in all that mess wasn’t easy. In fact, it was impossible. So Sasha and the Girl settled for the least noisy corner of the area. Sasha didn’t want to get too far away. Sometimes when Vincent had troubles, he’d ask for Sasha’s help. So if Sasha was too far off, then Vincent wouldn’t be able to get to him and... yeah...

    The Girl was weak, hungry and scared. Well, she wasn’t shaking anymore which was a good thing. She was sitting on the ground, her back leading against what was left of a wall. Sasha couldn’t sit still so he stayed up, pacing back and forth a little bit. Sometimes he’d look in the direction they came from, thinking of Vincent.

    “I didn’t think...” Sasha whispered to himself before speaking up a bit more, “I didn’t think we would end up in a warzone.” He sighed. “I knew Urgan was bad, but this is ridiculous.”

    The Girl looked at Sasha, her eyes filled with tears but she wasn’t crying. Maybe it was the heat, the flames or just that she was too scared to cry.

    “What’s your name, cute thing?” Sasha smiled a little looking at the Girl. He needed to distract his mind a little, even if it was just for a minute. “You look like an Emily.”

    The Girl looked down at her feet at first... but then she raised her chin again. “...Kelly.”

    Sasha looked rather disappointed. “Ah well... Kelly’s nice too.”

    The Girl gasped, pushing herself into the remains of the wall she was leaning against.

    Regretful, Sasha grinned, “Aw,” he said. “Come on. I didn’t mean anything by that. Kelly is a really nice name.”

    But... Kelly shook her head. Then... she pointed at something that was behind Sasha.

    By the look on her face, Sasha knew it was something bad. Really bad. He swallowed a little bit hard as he turned slowly around and came face to face, well, face to stomach with a BIG ASS MONSTER!

    “Oh, crap...” Sasha whispered. But he thought quickly. “Kelly! Get back. Now, now, now!”

    ROARRR!

    The Beast threw a punch at Sasha. Sasha brought up a forcefield but the Beast’s punch broke right through it and hit Sasha in the chest. Hard. Sasha went flying back. The Beast stumbled back for a split second, probably dazed from breaking a forcefield.

    Kelly who tripped and fell right on her back didn’t get very far. And the Beast saw her. Having the Beast’s stare on her was enough to paralyse Kelly of utter fear. The Beast got closer and closer to the girl... Sasha coughed up blood and saw what was happening.

    The Beast was now inches away from the defenceless girl. Sasha crawled as quickly as he could towards Kelly and threw himself on her, covering her. He closed his eyes and created a forcefield... but it was visibly weaker than the previous one he created.

    One moment. Two moments. Three moments. Nothing. Sasha opened his eyes and looked... The Beast seemed paralysed... He was covered in electrical light. Vincent!

    “Thank God,” Sasha whispered in one breath. “Come on, Kelly... you’ve got to help me a little bit. Let’s get out of here. Come on.”

    Kelly nodded and helped Sasha up and they both rushed out of the battle area. Sasha motioned for her to stop.

    “I’ve got to... help...” Sasha said as he pointed his open palmed hand at Vincent, creating a forcefield around him. “Vincent...”

    The Beast made noises. Angry noises as It turned to face its attacker. Vincent was sweating bullets and made a step back. The Beast was resisting. The Beast was strong. The Beast was too fucking strong!

    “Seriously... WHAT IS THING THING??” Vincent was getting weaker and weaker by the second. “Can’t... hold on... much longer. Fucking hell!”

    Vvvvt!

    Albel rushed past Vincent and started hitting away at the immobilized Beast. Ten. Twenty. Thirty. Forty times. Albel landed back next to Vincent. Albel was out of breath, sweating and bloodied. The Beast? It stretched its arms and broke the now weakened electrical ‘rope’.

    “It should be dead... like... ten times by now...” Vincent was too weak to move.

    The Beast roared as It prepared to attack them some more.

    But what the Beast didn’t expect was for HARMONY to jump out of nowhere and TACKLE it! Harmony fucking tackled the damn Beast!

    ROARRRR!!!

    Harmony all muscled up and bigger than normal had a RAGE face on! He was punching away at the Beast who seemed to have finally some difficulty throwing Harmony off.

    Vincent was flabbergasted by what he was witnessing. “Whoaaa! Who’s that? His brother?!”

    “My friend,” replied Albel with a smirk. “Glad to see you, Harm!” He yelled at his mountain of a friend.

    “Bitch. Is. Strong.” Harmony threw back, trying his hardest to immobilize the Beast.

    Albel stood up straight and tightened his grip on his katana. “Then...” He gritted his teeth. “Let’s give it our best shot! Together! NOW!”

    Vincent nodded and summoned up the rest of energy he had. In a flash he rubbed both of his wrists together and his fists were immediately covered with electrical sparks.

    * * *

    Away from the chaos and the battle scarred ground, CID and the Masked Men were watching. They were on a hill looking over the town of Urgan, now being eaten away by a hundred fires. Cid was smoking a cigarette, it was hard to tell what he was thinking.

    “Should I use some more of my flamethrower?” offered one of the Masked Men holding the weapon he mentioned in his hand.

    Cid laughed a hollow laugh. “You really think it needs more fire? I don’t even know if the ones already there will ever go out. Look at it... burning.” He paused. “No... it doesn’t need any more. We’ve done enough with the fireworks.”

    The masked man looked sorely disappointed.

    “I’d even say,” said a familiar voice. “You’ve done rather well.”

    Everybody turned to see a bloodied Jaiian standing there. He wasn’t badly bruised or anything, but there was quite a decent amount of blood on him.

    “Are you okay?!” Cid’s jaw opened wide, the cigarette even falling out of his mouth. “No, scratch that!” He added quickly. “What the hell happened to you?”

    Jaiian chuckled with a cough. “Nothing,” he said. “It just took more out of me than I thought it would. Surprises. Always hated them.” He coughed some more.

    Cid grabbed a bottle of water from a bag and handed it to Jaiian. “The Beast...” Cid said, his voice showing some apprehension. “...it’s impressive.”

    After having a generous amount of water, Jaiian nodded. “I know. But enough staring in awe. We have to move.”

    Cid was a bit surprised and asked, “What about Albel?”

    Jaiian shook his head. “Not today.” He coughed. “Move.”

    The Masked Men began moving out. Cid took a moment to look back on the burning town. He then picked up his cigarette which fell earlier and puts it back between his lips.

    “Next time then,” Cid muttered before joining the group.

    * * *

    Vincent went through a wall when he was punched by the Beast. He couldn’t even say anything as his eyes closed. Sasha screamed and ran to him. Kelly stayed behind, hidden. She started crying.

    Harmony put up a good fight but the Beast was the stronger one. It punched Harmony back a few times, making the giant cough up some blood and finally KO’ed him with a kick. Albel watched it happen as he was recovering some energy. He could barely stand on his feet.

    But he stood up nevertheless. Blood on his face. Bruises all over his body. He stood up and was ready for another round with the Beast. The Beast approached, menacing and ready for more action as well. It didn’t even look remotely tired.

    “You think you can beat me, maggot?” Albel whispered, half laughing. “I will SMASH the arrogance out of you and CUT it to PIECES with my blade!”

    And again Albel launched an attack on the monster, hitting as fast and as hard as he could all over the Beast’s ‘rocky’ body. The Beast stood still as the blade hit it more than twenty times. Then the Beast decided to attack and threw a punch at Albel who dodged it... but was unable to avoid the other quick punch that the Beast threw at him!

    Albel was on the ground, lying on his back, his hand had let go of his sword, his exposed stomach was covered in bruises. He was too tired to even sit up. Coughing, the thought of throwing up raced to his mind and he tried his best to control it. He could hear the Beast stepping closer. Was it the end? Ugh. The Beast was too strong. Or... did Albel not try hard enough?

    He could feel it. The Beast could easily reach Albel with a punch now. But then... something happened. A beam of light. A wave of wind. A breeze. The Beast wasn’t nearby anymore. Albel turned his head and saw the Beast had fallen to the ground. What the?

    Albel then turned his head the other way and saw... KIAN! He was holding the Erevolver in his hands. “Urrgh... f-fool! Why aren’t you hiding? I t-told you to hide!” But Kian didn’t respond. Did he hear Albel’s voice?

    ROOOOAAAAARRRRRRR!!!!

    The Beast sounded angry. Pissed off even. It got back up and made its way towards Kian. And Kian wasn’t moving. Wait... Kian had fallen to his knees. And... was that blood coming out of his nose? Albel realized what had just happened. Kian used the Erevolver and shot too much energy... now Kian was... fainting. Dammit!

    But the worst was to come as the Beast grabbed Kian by the throat before he could fall to the ground. Kian looked semi-conscious as the Beast lifted him up and started tightening the grip. Tears ran down Kian’s cheeks as he screamed in pain. Albel’s breathing grew faster and harder as he forced himself up. Grabbed his katana.

    Burning with violent anger, the gold glow in his eyes suddenly had a crimson shade to them.

    DON’T. FUCKING. TOUCH. HIM!

    The Beast had only time to let go of Kian and turn around when Albel’s blade PIERCED RIGHT THROUGH ITS SHOULDER!!!

    The monster let out what could best describe as a scream and pushed Albel away. The Beast placed a hand on its wound from which a black boiling liquid oozed out of. It roared one more time before running in the other direction smashing through remains of buildings and walls.

    With a breath, Albel seemed like he snapped out of a trance and rushed to Kian. He held him in his arms. The boy was alive. Still a bit conscious.

    “It’s okay,” Albel spoke softly. “You’re safe now.”
    Last edited by Cadmus; 6th September 2009 at 11:46 AM.

  32. #32
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    Default Re: Albel The Wicked // Chapter **10** + Soundtrack Updated! [6 Sep 09]

    Hmm, Vincent and Sasha are interesting... Lightning and shield casters?

    There are so many players here. Jaiian, the Spikkichittas, and who are the twins, really? And they all seem connected to Albel somehow. Lots of different groups with as-of-yet unexplained motives. It's getting really complicated! Sasha was right about the battle zones.

    I don't recall Harmony cursing before, so that was kinda funny. It's a bit disconcerting that all of the joint attacks only wounded the monster, though.

    I guess Kian's got some training to do with the Erevolver, huh? Once he gets used to it, he'll learn his limits and won't overstrain himself as easily.

    Sorry for not reading earlier, I've been pretty much ignoring TPM for the past like, two months.
    ~ Lune ~


  33. #33
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    Default Re: Albel The Wicked // Chapter **10** + Soundtrack Updated! [6 Sep 09]

    Hey Lune!

    Yeah, more players are joining the storyline! I hope it's making things more exciting. Hehe. Obviously their motives won't be all explained in one go but yeah, I hope you'll like where I take the story.

    The monster is pretty tough. Albel managed to hurt him though, but did he do it on his own or is that the monster was weakened by all the other attacks?

    This 10th chapter was a bit of a milestone one as I consider it to be the closing chapter of the first arc of the story. It feels like it anyway.

    Thanks again for reading and commenting! It's always appreciated!

  34. #34
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    Default Recap of Act One

    ACT ONE

    Kian's life was turned upside down when a group of Masked Men invaded his hometown and burned it down. To make things even worse, they murdered his Grandpa who was trying to defend the town. Revenge in his heart, Kian decided to go after the masked men.

    He wasn't alone in his quest though. Albel Nox, who visited the town shortly before it's downfall, took Kian under his wing and along with Harmony (Albel's friend), they set out on their journey. Albel and Kian seemed to clash on many levels.

    Their quest took them into the Forest protected by a Guardian that failed to guard a great treasure; the Ambrosia Jewel. Albel then decided to contact a source to find out more about the theft and who were the masked men. The source couldn't send the info through the "Screen" (a communications medium), so they decided to meet up.

    Unfortunately, an old enemy of Albel showed up; Gondra. She complicated things by capturing Albel's source. A big battle broke out. Kian, who had been training with Albel, began fighting and helping out. His weapon was the Erevolver (a special gun that uses energy as ammo).

    Meanwhile, the masked men and their leaders; Jaiian and Cid were preparing something. Jaiian, who seemed to hold all the answers, began a ritual and a "nightmare" appeared. The "nightmare" in question was a big monster full of bloodlust. It attacked Urgan, the town in which Albel and co were battling with Gondra and her Spikichittas.

    Vincent and Sasha, twins, used their special abilities to fight off the monster but they failed to inflict any lasting damage. Even Harmony's special "supersize" power seemed uneffective against the Beast. Albel's sword didn't prove to be efficient either.

    The monster was about to finish off Albel when Kian intervened and sent the monster to the ground. It came with a cost though. Kian began to faint and the monster went after him. Albel saw crimson red and delivered a massive blow to the Beast with his sword and finally hurt it.

    The Beast made its escape...

    ...and Albel held Kian in his arms, telling him that he was safe now.

  35. #35
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    Default Act Two: Chapter 11

    Yeah. I had done it again. I failed. Well... my friends wouldn’t call it that, they’d have a nicer word for it. But I call it failure. In the midst of a big battle, I fainted. I felt so useless. (At least you saved Albel’s life! The Beast was about to kill him!). Yeah, yeah... Maybe I wasn’t totally useless.

    Nevertheless, I fainted.

    Right now, I’m asleep. Resting. Strangely, in those days, no matter how much I slept, I never truly felt rested. Chasing those masked men was taking a big toll on me. But a promise is a promise. They killed Grandpa. Revenge.

    I’m about to wake up. I heard a voice calling out to me.

    Sometimes I think that if I knew then what was about to unfold, I would have kept my eyes closed. I guess if I had done that, there would be no story to tell. Things definitely would have... turned out a different way.

    As one would say, ‘something wicked this way comes’.

    ALBEL THE WICKED
    “He Brought A Revelation”
    11

    I felt like the morning after I tried one of Grandpa’s ‘adult’ drinks. My head felt like it was being hammered on from the inside. Not fun.

    “Hello...” I managed to whisper, my voice not all there. Albel was in the room, sitting on a chair. I was still in bed.

    “How do you feel?” Albel asked. I couldn’t tell if he was concerned or not. He had his ‘emotionless’ mode turned on.

    I put a hand to my head. “Like I’m just waking up and...” I started massaging my temples a little bit. “Bad headache.”

    Albel handed me a glass of fizzy water. There was a pill at the bottom of it. “It’ll make it pass quicker.”

    I had a sip. Ugh. So disgusting. Albel was staring at me so I drank more. Had to hold my breath and think happy thoughts though. Then I remembered something.

    “The monster!” I almost yelled out. “What happened?”

    “Injured,” Albel replied. “As far as I know.”

    I was both surprised and relieved. Relieved for obvious reasons but surprised because... “Really? It seemed so...”

    “Invincible? Yeah, I know.” Albel glanced at his katana. “Seemed like whatever was thrown at it didn’t have any effect. But somehow I managed to hurt it with my sword.”

    Of course he did. He’s freakin’ Albel the Wicked. If anybody could kick a house of a monster, it was Albel. I couldn’t help but show my awe I guess.

    “You did?” I said back. “Wow...”

    Albel smirked a little bit. I didn’t know if it was because of my obvious admiration or because he was proud of his accomplishment. But then he said something rather shocking, again, “it was thanks to you.”

    “W-what do you mean?” I asked back, obviously not getting why I helped that much in the battle. I mean, all I could remember was me trying to fight the damn thing and fainting.

    “You distracted it,” Albel explained. “The Beast was about to give me a final blow when you shot it. Gave me enough time to muster up some strength and hurt it. You did well.”

    “So... you’re not mad at me for not listening to you?” I said, realizing that I had again disobeyed his orders. I was so hopeless.

    “A little bit yeah,” he replied. “But you did save my life, so you’re off the hook this time.”

    “Thanks.” I was relieved.

    He then got up and said, “Time to get out of bed. We have things to do.”

    That was when I thought about something. I was under the covers but felt that my clothes were not the same as before. As in, you know, I could tell I was wearing something different. Well, in that case, not wearing as much. I only felt boxers and nothing else. I pulled up the covers noticing then that I was, therefore, shirtless. I blushed after that, realizing that I had that thing boys have when they wake up in the morning.

    “Give me a minute?” I asked, trying to think of something to, you know, make that morning thing go away.

    “Why? What’s the matter?” Albel asked. Argh. Why couldn’t he just get what was the ‘matter’.

    “I, uh...” Think of a good excuse, Kian. Do not say something embarrassing! “I am not sure what I’m wearing so you know...” Ugh, good one, Kian.

    Albel sighed. “Fool, can’t you tell you’re wearing boxers?”

    My eyes widened. “Wha... how do you know that??”

    “Who do you think changed your clothes?” He replied.

    I stared blankly at him.

    Albel suddenly seemed to realize what he had just said. And for the first time ever, I think I saw him blush. He cleared his throat. “You wanted a minute, right? When you’re ready, just come downstairs.”

    And he was off. I stayed still for a moment, taking in what had just happened. It was... weird. Good weird or bad weird? I didn’t really know. Sigh, I felt my headache coming back.

    I got up and found my clothes, all cleaned up and smelling fresh. I tried very hard not to think of Albel undressing me. It was very unnerving.

    Downstairs, I met up with Albel, who avoided my eyes for some reason, and the others. Harmony was there as well as three new faces.

    “Yummy bunny!” Harmony exclaimed instantly as he saw me climb down the stairs. “You smell so delicious!” He gave me a big hug. I thought my ribs were going to break. “You gave us a big fright!” He added, his eyes all teary.

    “I’m sorry,” I replied back, smiling. “I’m okay though.”

    “From now on,” Albel said. “Easy on the erevolver, fool.”

    Guess Albel was back to being... Albel.

    “Do you ever stop calling people that?” One of the new faces asked, two of them were twins it seemed, shaking his head at Albel. There was a rather strong vibe about him.

    “Did I talk to your face, maggot?” Albel shot back.

    “Scaaary...” The other twin said.

    I couldn’t help but stare at all of them. There was a girl too. She was rather quiet. The twin that just spoke noticed me staring (Albel and the other guy were busy glaring at each other to death) and approached me with a big smile.

    “Heeeey!” He said, grinning. “I’m Sasha! And this is Vincent. He may look ugly but he’s real nice once you get to know him.” Vincent sighed as he heard his twin speak. “And the shy girl is Kelly. Don’t judge her because she has an ugly name. She is lovely!” Kelly looked a bit hurt but was too shy to say anything.

    I had nothing better to respond to that other than, “Nice to meet you.”

    After that we all went to get some food. It was already past lunchtime so I didn’t object to the idea (thank you, Harmony). Weird really, I barely knew Albel and Harmony was still pretty much a stranger to me, and yet we went with other strangers to grab some food and ended up in a quiet area of a park. Maybe the others had gotten to know each other better while I was sleeping. How long did I sleep for?

    “I am soooo hungry!” Sasha was eating whatever he could get his hands on.

    Vincent didn’t seem to approve. “Don’t be such a pig,” he said.

    To which Sasha replied, “@##$%!”

    Kelly let out a giggle. Shy but easily amused it seemed.

    “What an aromatic laugh!” commented Harmony as he finished putting a whole burger in his mouth. Good God!

    I just ate quietly. I felt a bit awkward around all these new faces. Albel was uncharacteristically quiet.

    “Enough of this!” Albel suddenly said. Did he read my mind or what? There was a silence after he spoke. “Vincent?”

    “Can we talk now?” Vincent asked back. “Wouldn’t you rather...?”

    Vincent didn’t have time to finish what he was saying, Albel cut him off and said, “Harmony is a trusted friend and so is the fool here.”

    Me being the fool he was referring to. Usually I’d be annoyed but he kind of called me a ‘trusted friend’ so I felt a bit too glad about that to be annoyed. Why was I being so weird?

    “What about her?” I asked, realizing that Albel didn’t consider that Kelly could be one of the non-trustworthy type. (I guess I wanted to earn some good points with Albel too by pointing it out.)

    Sasha was quick to come to her defence. “She’s tip top ok! I can vouch for her!”

    “And who is she exactly?” Albel asked, his voice rather cold.

    “I was at the wrong place and the wrong time,” Kelly answered. She sounded like her personality.

    “Guess she’s past the scared cat phase,” Vincent couldn’t help but comment.

    “Hush, evil twin!” Sasha nudged him in the arm.

    Albel sighed and focused on Kelly. “Tell me more, worm.”

    Kelly blinked in shock at what Albel called her but a look of encouragement from Sasha shook it off. “I’m a traveller. From Glaycia.”

    “Pheeew!” Harmony’s eyes went big and wide. “That’s a loooong way!”

    With the hint of a smile, Kelly said, “I love travelling.” She thought for a second. “Well, I’m reviewing my opinion on that at the moment. You know, being beaten almost to death and all.”

    Albel stared at her for a moment and went, “If you lied to me, I’ll slice your head off.”

    Kelly’s face showed clearly how shocked she was to hear that.

    Sasha shook his head, “Lovely manners, old friend.”

    I thought their interaction was a bit weird! The way they were talking to each other and everything. They already know each other!

    “How do you...” I wasn’t sure if I should ask or not, but curiosity got the best of me. “How do you know each other?”

    I saw the three of them exchange a look. The three being Albel, Vincent and Sasha, of course. Kelly seemed as interested as I was. Harmony looked rather distracted.

    It was Albel who answered my question. “We worked together for a bit. A long time ago.”

    “A lifetime,” Vincent added.

    Sasha smiled, “Good times. For the most part anyway.”

    Almost in a hurry to change the topic, Albel looked at Vincent and said, “Speak.”

    “What ever happened to please? Did ‘fool’, ‘maggot’ and ‘worm’ take all the space in your vocabulary?” Vincent said, smirking. “I’m not a dog.”

    Albel just stared at him, not amused by his reply.

    “I’m letting it go this time,” Vincent sighed. “For the sake of everybody else here really. If we had to wait for you to become civilized, we’d be waiting for a long long long long time.”

    Sasha let out a giggle.

    “Do you or do you not have something to say?” Albel asked, his voice as cold as ever.

    “Relax,” Vincent said back. “A little humour wouldn’t hurt after what we all went through.”

    o o o

    With a cigarette between his lips, Cid approached his co-leader. His co-leader was busy looking at the Beast. Cid felt a bit nervous approaching them, but it seemed that the Beast wasn’t going to attack him or the masked men for that matter. That’s what Jaiian said anyway.

    “Refreshed?” Cid asked, getting Jaiian attention.

    “Definitely,” replied the co-leader, who had blood all over him last time he and Cid spoke.

    Cid then looked at the Beast. “Is it sleeping or something?”

    “I suppose,” answered Jaiian. “Resting to heal its wound.”

    “An ugly one at that,” Cid noticed. “Albel sure is pretty wicked.”

    “Do you have to make a pun every time you say his name?” Jaiian smirked, amused.

    “Hey, that was a good one!” Cid retorted back. “But let’s not digress. Wasn’t this thing supposed to KILL Albel?”

    “It was a probability, yes,” Jaiian answered. “But I didn’t expect Dexxian to defeat the Wicked one.” He winked at Cid.

    “Dexxian?”

    “Him,” Jaiian pointed to the Beast.

    “That’s a... strange... name to give to that thing,” Cid commented.

    Jaiian smiled back and examined the Beast’s wound. The oozing liquid was boiling it seemed.

    “Can it talk?” Cid asked.

    “No idea. I don’t think so,” Jaiian answered, still examining the wound.

    “Why are you being so cryptic?” There was a touch of frustration in Cid’s voice. “I have no clue about what’s going on. Same with the guys, they got no clue as well. They don’t care, but still. No clue. Clueless.”

    Jaiian turned to face Cid and said, “A plan has less chances of failing if it remains an absolute secret.”

    “You don’t trust me?” Cid asked, somewhat offended.

    “I do.”

    “Then?”

    “Can’t be helped.”

    “Gaah!” Cid’s frustration was rather apparent now. “You know,” he said, warning his co-leader, “a SECRET plan has more chances of FAILING because nobody knows what the hell is going and therefore can’t make it happen!”

    There was a look of utter smug on Jaiian’s face as he said, “Believe me. It will NOT fail.”

    o o o

    It took a moment for Vincent and Albel to settle down in their little clash of words. The rest of us found it kind of funny. It was weird to me because it was almost like they weren’t really clashing or anything... it was like they were almost doing it on purpose.

    But the mood went down when Vincent began to explain a few things. “A few months ago, we heard rumours. Echoes, rather. Not enough details, just a few whispered words here and there.” He looked at Albel. “But it was about something big. That much we could tell.”

    “We looked into it,” Sasha spoke as well, his voice a bit more serious than earlier. “Hit dead ends.” He paused and glanced at Vincent. “A few names popped up though during our investigation.”

    “Names?” Albel asked back.

    “Places,” Vincent answered. “Locations. Before the big attack that you witnessed, there were other towns that were hit in the same way.”

    “We thought they were bandits preying on isolated towns due to their severe lack in Guards and security,” Sasha said, almost with regret.

    “Obviously, we were wrong,” Vincent added. “We thought it was just a group of bandits... but it seems to be much more than that. When we realized that, it was too late.”

    “These masked guys are damn nasties,” Harmony commented, looking a bit annoyed at the thought of the murderers of my Grandpa.

    “We know nothing about them,” Vincent said, which sunk my heart. “Nothing came up in our research. So, either they’re a new group of criminals...”

    “...or they are a very old group, which means, very very dangerous,” Sasha said, completing his twin’s sentence.

    “They knew where and how to get to the Ambrosia jewel. And I think we can all agree that the Beast we fought didn’t just appear randomly,” Albel said, sounding as cold and as emotionless as ever.

    “The jewel is an infinite source of energy,” Vincent explained. “It wouldn’t be too much of a stretch to assume that they used the jewel to create that monster.”

    “Do you sweet smells know more about the Ambrosia?” Harmony asked with a smile. “If we know more about the jewel, maybe we could get rid of the monster and get to the mastermind of the operation!”

    Albel smirked. I guess he was proud of Harmony’s thinking and logic. Pff. I could have said the same thing if Harmony hadn’t done it so quickly.

    “We don’t know much about the jewel,” Sasha answered with a sigh. “There are only bits and pieces of info about it. We do know it’s been around for a LONG time.”

    “Nobody could figure out how to use its power,” Vincent explained as well. “How to yield its infinite power. That’s why it was kept such a secret and hidden away in some remote location with heavy protection.”

    “Clearly somebody unlocked its secret,” Albel commented. “And if that somebody was able to steal the jewel, destroy towns and create a monster like the Beast...” He looked at Vincent.

    “That’s all we know,” Vincent replied. “We have no idea who’s the leader of the masked men and if that same leader is the one who unlocked the Ambrosia jewel secret.”

    I was really disappointed. I thought he was going to reveal to us the name of the leader. I want to put a name to the murderer of my Grandpa. I WANT TO KNOW HIS FUCKING NAME!

    Sasha looked at me funny and said, “Are you okay? You look a bit...” He trailed off. Maybe he noticed the tears in my eyes.

    “Yeah, I’m just...” I had to catch my breath and hold back the pain that was fighting to get out. “They destroyed my hometown.”

    “I’m so sorry,” Sasha said, his voice quiet, as though saying it any louder would be some kind of offence.

    “Yummy bunny...” Harmony placed a hand on mine. I didn’t move. Mostly because I think if I had moved even in the slightest, the tears would’ve run free on my cheeks.

    “You could’ve said all that in a message,” Albel spoke up again and changed the topic, thankfully. “Why was it important for us to meet? Not really worth the long trip.”

    “How rude!” Sasha shot back. “We risked our lives to come see you!”

    “Fool,” Albel replied, coldly.

    “@#$##@@!!!” Sasha fumed.

    Vincent looked exasperated. “We didn’t come to see you JUST to tell you of our findings. However small they are.” He paused for a long moment.

    “So? Out with it then, maggot!”

    “The Queen has asked for you,” Vincent finally answered.

    o o o

    After the Masked Men went to their ‘sleep’ and when he heard Cid snoring like an old machine, Jaiian got up and walked away from the camp. He couldn’t help himself. He had to do it. It was like an addiction. No, sorry. It was addiction.

    He walked for a bit, and when he felt he had put enough distance between himself and the camp, he let out a sigh. Jaiian was excited and nervous. He always was when he was about to do what he was about to do.

    Putting a hand on the pendant he was wearing, he began whispering things. The pendant in question was of a dark crimson colour and shaped in a “Y” but the “v” being more of a “u”. There were tiny black markings all over it.

    After a moment, it began to glow slightly.

    “Are you there?” Jaiian asked, excited like a child. He spoke quietly.

    Silence ...

    Then,

    “Yes.”

    The co-leader’s face brightened up instantly as he felt his heart was about to jump out of his chest.

    “It worked,” Jaiian decided to say with a smile. “I called it Dexxian. It’s very... imposing.”

    “I know.”

    Jaiian let out a chuckle. “Ah yeah, I forgot that you have eyes everywhere. I’m probably not going to tell you anything new.” His voice sounded a bit hurt and defeated.

    “Tell me.”

    And again, just like a child, Jaiian was excited to deliver his report. “The Beast, Dexxian, did very well. It destroyed the town, hell bent on mass slaughter and destruction.” Then he paused, his excitement dying a little. “But it has been wounded... Nothing too bad though...” He paused again, as though a bit apprehensive about adding the last bit. “Albel.”

    “Albel...”

    Sensing something odd, Jaiian asked, “Does this change anything?”

    “No.”

    With a bite of his bottom lip, Jaiian’s eyes teared up a little. “When will I see you?” He asked, begging almost.

    “Soon.”

    Jaiian closed his eyes and nodded, a tear or two falling to the ground. “Shall I proceed then?”

    “Yes. Do not disappoint me.”

    Almost immediately, Jaiian responded, “On my life, I won’t!” and the glow faded away. Jaiian still held it tight in his hand. He was breathing hard.

    Had he not been so caught up in what he was doing, Jaiian might have seen, or noticed rather, that he wasn’t alone. Hiding not far away from where he was... Cid was watching.

    o o o

    The conversation had pretty much died after Vincent revealed the big reason why he and Sasha came to meet Albel. How did the conversation die, you might wonder... well, Albel got up and walked off.

    I have to say I was utterly shocked. No, seriously. The QUEEN asked for Albel? I mean, I knew Albel was pretty famous for being a great soldier and all, but for the QUEEN herself to request a meeting... Maybe I shouldn’t be so surprised. I mean, the Queen being the most powerful person on the planet, she couldn’t not be friendly with a famous soldier.

    But what shocked me as well was Albel’s reaction. I saw the look on his face when Vincent made his big reveal and... I could be wrong, but I thought I saw ‘hurt’ in Albel’s eyes in that instant I witnessed. It quickly went away of course, Albel being Albel. I looked at the others when he walked off. Harmony seemed as surprised as I was. So was Kelly. But the twins? It was like they were... expecting that reaction.

    We all silently agreed to give him space though. Well, I felt forced to. I really just wanted to go after him to see what was wrong. Not that he’d open up to me... but it was how I felt. That scared me a little...

    But when we got back to the Inn and saw the look on the owner’s face, we all knew Albel must’ve freaked him out or something. Vincent and Sasha glanced at each other, exchanging a sigh. Harmony looked worried. He approached me and said,

    “Yummy bunny,” he looked at me in the eyes. “Maybe you could go see how he’s doing?”

    Wha... Are you serious?! ALBEL HATES ME! And you want me to go see him when he’s clearly in a bad mood? Do you also secretly HATE me and wish me DEAD? He’s going to grab his katana the second he sees me walk into the room and cut me into tiny little pieces looking awfully angry!

    “Okay,” I said back, almost whispering.

    Yeah... I have no idea where that came from either.

    They all looked at me with thumbs up as I walked up the stairs to the room. I think they picked me as the lamb to be sent to the slaughter but to be honest, I didn’t really mind. I did want to know how Albel was doing. I felt weird about it though... but I chose not to analyse what was happening.

    I knocked on the door. No answer. Predictable really. So I opened the door, and scanned the room for Albel. There he was, standing by the window. I didn’t realise how much time had passed until I saw the late afternoon light in the room. Don’t be distracted, Kian! I entered the room, discreetly taking a deep breath, bracing myself for a shower of insults and possibly some beating.

    “Hey...” I muttered as I slowly approached him.

    He kept looking out the window, saying nothing back. Thanks Albel, that’s very encouraging! At least you’re not glaring at me to death.

    I waited another few seconds to see if he’d answer or acknowledge my presence. He did neither. So I said, “Um, are you okay? Well... clearly you’re not okay. You walked out on us and here you are standing by yourself in an empty room.” Still no reaction. “Sooo... what’s going on?”

    “What are you doing, fool?” He finally said back, but still not looking at me. You sound a tad annoyed, Albel, but at least that’s progress!

    “Asking you what’s wrong?” I answered, stating the obvious.

    No answer. UGH! Just when I thought we were making progress. Sigh. Come on Kian... just... say something. Yes, but what? I don’t know how to act in these situations. I’m so hopeless.

    “When Grandpa... when that happened,” I said, after a long moment of silence. “You were there for me. I mean, you know,” I was having some trouble speaking. “You could’ve just let me go on my own and never bother with me again.” Don’t let the emotions get the best of you, Kian. Be strong. “But you stayed... and... you’ve helped me. You’re constantly helping me.”

    This time, Albel did look at me. His face was as emotionless as usual, but he was looking at me.

    “I can help you too, you know,” I kept going. “I may be learning stuff still but, hey, I did save your life. Remember?” I looked at him in the eyes. That was taking up all my courage. “Do you need me to use my erevolver and shoot those twins? Cause I can!”

    And what did he say as reply? Nothing... but he chuckled! He actually chuckled! I couldn’t tell if he was making fun of me or not. Knowing him, I bet he was mocking me!

    “What? You don’t think I can?” I said defiantly. “I’ll show you!”

    “You’re a fool,” he replied, smirking.

    “A fool with a weapon though!” I held my erevolver with pride.

    He just looked at me, smirking. Then he sighed and sat on the edge of the bed, looking out the window. The late afternoon light shining softly on his face...

    “We’re going to Lastella,” he said.

    Lastella. That’s the biggest and grandest city in the world.

    “So, you’re going to see the Queen?” I asked.

    He nodded. “Yes,” he answered. “I’d rather avoid it but, unfortunately, given the circumstances... I believe it is inevitable.”

    “Why do you want to avoid her so much?” I asked, curious. “Did you call her names too?”

    He smirked for a quick second. Then he was serious again. “My past.” He said. “It’s my past I’m trying to avoid.” He looked at me a bit oddly and added, “And I’m not doing great at it.”

    “What... what do you mean?” I was feeling this sad vibe coming from him. All of this was very unusual.

    But he didn’t answer me. Instead he bent backwards to lie on the bed, staring at the ceiling. And he said, “Stay with me for a bit.”

    I wasn’t sure how to respond so I stayed quiet... and sat on the edge of the bed, next to where he was lying. I was nervous. He put his hand on my shoulder and pulled me down. He didn’t say anything. I didn’t say anything. We just stayed there, on the bed, lying next to each other...

  36. #36
    Beginning Trainer
    Beginning Trainer
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    Jun 2008
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    Default Chapter 12

    When we got to Lastrella, I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. I don’t mean I was talking non-stop. I mean, I was so in awe with the city that my jaw stayed on the ground for a long time. It was surreal. It was bright. It was grand.

    Even the people seemed different from... normal people. They all looked so happy and busy. Wearing nice clothes. And the buildings... the old ones looked magnificent and still standing strong. The new ones looked as though they had been taken from the future and placed in our time.

    I wish I could’ve taken pictures. Man. My first time in THE city. I wish Grandpa was here with me. Though he probably would’ve made sure I didn’t look at bad things. Not that there were any here. The shops were packed with soooo many different things. Everything was at its best in Lastrella.

    The others were silent. Harmony seemed really distracted. I caught him glancing at Kelly a lot. I wonder... And the twins were busy whispering between themselves. Albel seemed as though he was lost in his own little world. I thought best not to bother him.

    The thing that really knocked my socks off was the Palace. Good God! It was SO freakin’ huge and imposing, yet it had this immaculate beauty in its architecture. The guards seemed to recognize Albel. They were like starstruck or something. The first time I saw Albel I reacted very differently... That seemed like a long time ago already.

    There we were, in the greatest city of the world, about to meet the Queen.

    ALBEL THE WICKED
    “The Queen’s Request and Kian’s achievement”
    12


    “Sorry, only Albel is allowed to enter.”

    That was one of the four Guards standing in front of the Throne room. They had shiny armour and shiny weapons. They also looked angry. And sounded angry too. That was one of my plans... to become a Guard and prove myself.

    Albel turned to us (myself, Harmony, the Twins and Kelly) and nodded. He then looked at me, and well... he didn’t say anything but he looked like he was asking me to keep out of trouble. Maybe I was reading too much into it. He agreed to go in and we were left by ourselves.

    “This might take a while,” Vincent said with a sigh. He grabbed Sasha’s hand and walked off. “See you guys later. Maybe.”

    “You’re so rude, Vincent!” Sasha said, shaking his head. “Don’t go losing yourself in the city if you go walking around! Toodles!” He grinned at us and waved.

    Harmony who really seemed kind of weird lately, looked at Kelly and went, “W-would like me to show you around? I know places that smell deliciously delicious.” He was blushing too. Subtlety really wasn’t his strong point.

    And also... you will show HER around? What about ME? You’re always saying how good I smell and how I’m some food bunny but as soon as some girl shows up, I don’t exist anymore! Screw you, Harmony! SCREW YOU!

    “I was going to show Yummy Bunny around, so you know, it really isn’t a problem,” Harmony added, laughing nervously.

    Using me as a shield for his not-so-obvious seduction plan... Pff.

    “I’d love that,” Kelly replied, smiling. “Seeing this city... it makes me want to explore again.”

    Oh, please. Shut up you annoying bitch!

    “Aw! You shall bask into the most beautiful smells of this city!” Harmony grinned, obviously happy that his plan had worked.

    They started walking. I just stood still. Mostly to see if Harmony would notice my absence. He didn’t. SCREW YOU, HARMONY!

    So there I was, on my own, walking around this big city that was Lastrella. Everywhere I looked, there was something awesome to see. A shop just for intimate needs?? Sheesh. A shop with the latest in technology. I went and had a peep. I pretty much never saw any of the stuff they had in there.

    When you come from ‘the village of roses’ as they called it, you don’t get to see a lot of high tech stuff. Needless to say I was quite impressed and wished I had a lot of money to buy some of the things in there. Made me forget about Harmony’s weird behaviour. Well... I guess I was a in a bit of a weird mood myself.

    I kept thinking about Albel and how the meeting with the Queen was going. I was hoping Albel wouldn’t be his charming self and insult her and stuff. But she requested the meeting so I guessed they probably knew each other. Then I thought about me and Albel lying in bed, in silence.

    “Stop it, Kian!” I whispered to myself. I didn’t want to think about stuff like that. I couldn’t. Sigh.

    “Hello, good sir!”

    Huh? I turned around and saw a boy. Younger than me I think. He was wearing some nice looking clothes, though, a bit dirty. He was holding a basket. Of flowers and tickets. I looked at him, he was smiling at me.

    “Yeah?” I said back.

    “Um... would you like to buy a rose or two? Or maybe a lottery ticket?” He proposed with his smile. “They are real cheap. And they smell real nice!”

    I glared at him. He was asking ME if I wanted to buy FLOWERS? Are you kidding me?? Do I look like a girl?? UGH!
    “I’m not interested,” I replied, a bit coldly.

    He looked instantly defeated.

    “I’m such a lousy salesperson...” He looked really sad. “Nobody ever wants to buy my stuff. I mean, I know it’s not much but if you win the lottery thingy you get some of the best candy ever!”

    I just stared at him, trying to look as cold as possible.

    “It’s only $1...” He was using a sad puppy look on me. “I thought you would be one of the nice customers... you know... cause you look so cute and all.” He blushed a bit.

    “Cute?” I blinked.

    He smiled again a little.

    I gave him his dollar and got a lotto ticket. Yeah, I know. I got weaker. Ugh. What’s happening to me?

    o o o

    When Albel walked in the imposing, beautiful, gracious, grand, Throne Room, he felt his heart beating faster than usual. It wasn’t the surroundings themselves that caused such an effect on him, but rather the memories they brought back to his mind. He breathed in deep and waited.

    The Throne itself was covered at the moment. Veils protecting it. If you tried to throw a rock at it, it’d bounce back. The Queen would look at you, you wouldn’t see her of course, and if she deemed you worthy of her presence and saw you as a non-threatening person, the veils would disappear.

    And they did.

    There sat the Queen, beautiful, elegant and full of grace. She was wearing only black and you could tell by the look in her eyes that she had accumulated wisdom and sorrow as well. A smile broke on her face as she looked into the eyes of Albel the Wicked.

    “You haven’t changed much,” She said. “I missed you.”

    Albel’s response was cold and almost vicious, “I’m not here for small talk.”

    “I expected as much,” the Queen replied, showing no hurt or offense to his tone. “You only want to discuss the Beast.”

    “Indeed,” He nodded.

    “You have injured it, haven’t you?” She asked.

    “A lucky strike at the most,” Albel replied. “It might not happen again the next time I fight it. So, tell me, do you have any information that could be useful about the Beast?”

    The Queen let out a slight chuckle. “Indeed, as you say.”

    “Then what is it?” Albel asked, sounding almost impatient.

    “We found an Anti-Ambrosia.”

    The expression on Albel’s face was enough to convey his surprise.

    The Queen got up and started walking towards Albel. “We found out that it exists. All we need to do is actually get our hands on the item. And that is precisely why I asked for you, my sweet Albel.” She smiled warmly, her eyes showing emotion. “I want you to find it. I trust you. I have faith in you.”

    Albel turned around and began walking off. “I am not going to join your team. If you wish to tell me what you know about this Anti-Ambrosia, then do and I will find it on my own. But I will not be part of your...” There was anger in his voice.

    “Do you really hate me that much now?” The Queen asked, her voice breaking a bit. She was holding back the tears with great difficulty. “I used to consider you as...” She trailed off. Tried to maintain her composure. “I lost him too, you know.”

    Albel’s heart skipped a beat. He stopped walking. For a second, he stopped breathing too.

    o o o

    I returned to the castle and Albel still wasn’t done talking to the Queen. Sigh. How much longer was it going to be? Dammit. Well, with nothing else to do and nobody else around, I went back into the city to have another stroll. The afternoon was getting ready to fade into night.

    I wonder how things are going with Harmony and Kelly. Heh. Harmony is so obviously interested in her, I wonder if she’s smart enough to pick up on it. Probably not. Pff. I don’t even know why I feel so annoyed at her. She’s probably a nice girl.

    Sigh. What to do, what to do? Hm, that’s the ticket I bought from that boy earlier. It doesn’t even say the date you get the prize or anything. Hmm. Did he fool me? DID HE?!

    I went back to where I saw that boy, and well, obviously he wasn’t there. But I kept walking around to see if he was not trying to scam other people. Couldn’t see him anywhere. I was about to give up and go back to the castle as I thought enough time had passed so Albel was probably finished, but I heard something.

    “Let me go!”

    It was his voice. The boy’s. I went in the direction it came from to see what was happening. I ended up in a rather dark alley. A group of older boys were bullying him! One pushed him hard against a wall!

    “You still selling flowers? You’re so fucking lame!” The big boy laughed as he pushed the flower boy harder and harder.

    “Beat him up! Let’s put some blood on his stupid flowers!!” Another boy was jumping up and down excitedly.

    The flower boy looked back at them, tears in his eyes. “Please... I... I’ll give you money...”

    “What? That one miserable fucking dollar? You gotta be joking!” The big boy laughed louder and slapped the flower boy’s face. “I think I agree with my friends. I’d rather see your blood!”

    The guy was ready to punch the flower boy...

    “STOP!” I yelled out.

    They all looked at me, at first startled and I guess afraid it was some Guard or something, and glanced at each other, almost smirking.

    I glared at them. “How dare you bully this innocent flower boy? If you want to fight, pick someone of your own size or at least your own strength. Cruelty is despicable! I won’t forgive you for this! I am Kian the Mighty and in the name of justice, I shall punish you!”

    “Guys, beat that idiot up!” The big bully gave as order to his friends.

    They grinned and ran towards to me to fulfill that order.

    I reached for my Erevolver and with confidence and incredible coolness (if I may so myself) I shot at each of them and knocked them out.

    The big guy’s mouth opened wide. I aimed at him.

    “Apologize to the flower boy!” I demanded.

    “I-I am sorry. Very sorry!” He quickly did as I told.

    The flower boy looked scared still but shook his head, “That’s... that’s ok.”

    “Please, don’t shoot me.” The big boy said, looking back at me.

    “I won’t.” I answered.

    “T-thank you!” He smiled a little.

    I shot him. Knocked him out.

    “Fool!” I smirked.

    The flower boy approached me, tears in his eyes. “Wow... that was SO AWESOME!” He grinned. “You are cute and you are bad ass!”

    I smiled back, nervously scratching my head. Compliments, you know...

    “Thanks,” I said. “You okay? Did they hurt you?”

    “I’m fine, no physical wounds to speak of,” he replied. “Just, you know, the emotional scars and all that.” He laughed a little.

    We walked away from the dark alley, and back into the lights of the city streets. I told him about the lotto ticket and the no mention of the draw date. He laughed again.

    “You thought I scammed you? Aw.” He put a hand in his basket of flowers and tickets and took out a wrapped candy. “It’s not much but... thanks for helping me out. Usually people ignore me and stuff.”

    I unwrapped the candy and ate it. It was not too bad.

    “And you know, had I seen you again, I would’ve just said ‘Hey guess what? You won that lottery!’ and given you your prize.” He added with a grin.

    “Why do you do this? Are you... on your own?” I asked, unsure if I should talk about it.

    “My parents... they’re sick. As in... depressed and stuff,” he explained. “We were wealthy once and we lost it all. Forced to live in bad places and sometimes having no food on our table. My parents... they kind of stopped doing much... I’m not mad at them or anything. But... I don’t want to...” He sighed. “I’m just trying to help really. A nice lady who’s in a not much better situation than us agreed to give me some food if I help by selling these flowers. The tickets were my idea though.”

    I felt incredibly sad for him. I mean, how could you not feel like that after hearing his story? Just because he was in a grand city didn’t mean he was living the grand life... I forgot that shitty situations were everywhere.

    “Here,” I handed him the cash that I had in my pocket. “It’s not much, but, it should get you some nice food.”

    He looked at me and smiled. “You know, I’d rather not accept. I didn’t tell you my life story to get money. I told you cause you were nice to me. I haven’t given up yet. I work for my money. If I was to beg for money... then I would know that I have given up.”

    I stared at him for a moment... then I said, “Well, actually, I would like to buy more of the lotto tickets. I definitely am interested in the sweet prize.”

    He smiled, getting what I was doing, but still he nodded. He was touched I think.

    o o o

    When I got back to the castle, Albel had finished his meeting with the Queen. I was informed by the Guards that he was in the dining room with the others. I was escorted there and sure enough, they were sitting at the table, eating. I went to sit next to Albel. He was looking rather grim.

    “Hey,” I said.

    “Quiet, fool.” He replied, and kept eating.

    Ugh. Great. He’s not talking. Must’ve been a great meeting.

    I looked around the table and the Twins were busy chatting with each other. Kelly was smiling as she ate her food. And Harmony... he looked as miserable as Albel. What the? Why was he looking so sad?

    “Listen up,” Albel said suddenly and very loudly. “The Queen has requested of me that I do something for her. I accepted the request.”

    The Twins looked shocked.

    “On the condition that I don’t have to answer to anyone and do things my way,” he continued. “Now, if you guys, and I’m talking to you two,” He said looking at Vincent and Sasha, “if you two want to come with me on this mission, I won’t object to it. Your help might prove very useful.”

    Vincent and Sasha nodded.

    “Don’t go calling us ‘maggots’ or ‘fools’ though,” warned Vincent.

    “As I said, maggot, I am doing this my way,” Albel shot back with a smirk.

    “It’ll be like old times! Yay!” Sasha commented with glee.

    “We’re leaving tomorrow morning, so be ready by then,” Albel finished.

    I waited a few minutes for the twins and Kelly and Harmony to talk again amongst themselves before speaking again to Albel.

    “Are we not...” I hesitated a bit. “Are we not going after the masked men anymore?”

    Albel didn’t look back at me... but he put his hand on mine under the table and held it tight.

    “We still are,” he whispered. “I’ll explain later.”

    I felt really hot and breathless. Not because of what he said... but because he HAD HIS HAND ON MINE AND HELD IT!

    What is happening to me?

  37. #37
    Dream Junior Trainer
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    Default Re: Albel The Wicked // **Chapter 12** + Soundtrack + Act One Recap [7th December 200

    Wonder whether the name Dexxian has a particular significance... Cid kind of hesitated for a bit when he found out that it was the name for the Beast.

    I wonder what Albel's relationship to the Queen was. And who was this mutual person that they seem to have lost? Also, Vincent and Sasha seem to be aware of the loss... I wonder who they really are.

    Kian was really annoyed after Albel went into the Queen's room I thought it was funny (and unreasonable) how he was lashing out at Harmony and Kelly in his head. I guess it was a combination of stress, worry, and a feeling of rejection or being forgotten.

    Kian's still got a ways to grow. Getting upset that he was offered flowers, feeling "weak" for showing compassion. Not to mention how he's all confused about how he feels about Albel.

    Really interesting chapters ^_^ Can't wait to see the plot unfold more. Every one of the recent chapters has opened up more questions...

    Sorry it took so long to read! I'm finally done with the end-of-the-semester nightmare.
    ~ Lune ~


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